Man reconsiders BTO plans after wife repeatedly lied about using male online streaming app and spending over S$3k on virtual gifts

Independent Singapore

2 days ago

SINGAPORE: A man shared on social media that he is now having second thoughts about applying for a (Build-to-Order) BTO flat with his wife after she repeatedly lied about using a male online streaming app and spending over S$3,000 on virtual gifts.
On Monday (Jul 21), he took to the r/SingaporeRaw subreddit to seek advice. In his post, he said that when he first caught her sending expensive gifts to male singers from China, she dismissed his concerns and deleted both the app and her messaging accounts so that he 'could not see their conversations.'
He also discovered that she had been spending close to S$300 on each transaction to send virtual gifts to the male streamers, and as his job sometimes requires him to travel overseas, he started to worry that one of the streamers might use the opportunity to approach her in person while he was gone.
His wife, however, brushed off his worries. She reassured him that nothing like that would ever happen and promised that she would stop using the app and spending money on it entirely.
Still, worried that his wife might return to the streaming platform, the man turned to a trusted female friend who was familiar with the online community.
He asked her to help monitor whether his wife would become active again, as he no longer felt confident checking on his own without causing further conflict at home.
Unfortunately, just a few days later, the friend reported troubling news. His wife had created a new sub-account under a different username and had resumed both watching the male streamers and sending virtual gifts.
He confronted his wife once more. This time, she admitted that she had re-downloaded the app and was using it again, but insisted she had not topped up any money. She claimed she was only watching casually and had no intention of spending on it.
However, that, too, turned out to be untrue. According to his friend, the account was actively making payments, and the amount being spent was much bigger this time.
'At this point, she admitted to me that she spent slightly less than S$2k, all in the span of two weeks,' he shared. 'We had another huge quarrel, and she promised to quit, as I said I wanted a divorce and custody of the kids.'
However, the cycle repeated itself. Just days later, his friend informed him that yet another account had appeared.
Although his wife initially denied it, she later admitted the truth when he caught her himself and confirmed that she was indeed the one using that account. The man said that this time, his wife had spent another S$1,000.
'This time round, I did not budge, I insisted to have a divorce and she broke down, begging me to stay. At that point of time, I wanted to leave the house, she threatened to E her lif4 if I chose to leave this marriage,' he said.
'I had no choice but to stay. All these happen in the span of three weeks, from the start of her downloading the app till this date,' he wrote. See also Hyerim shows off wedding invitation card designed by friends
The man added that although he wanted to give their marriage another chance, his wife's repeated dishonesty had completely broken his trust.
'We have been married for the past 7-8 years since 2018. We now have 2 kids, aged 5 and 3, and a flat(resale) as well…but I find it very hard to continue this marriage,' he wrote.
'I did try to carry on for the kids and gave her many chances.. but I also feel that carrying on is pointless, even though I do love her, but I do not think I can cope another lie of hers.'
He ended his post by asking others if they had faced similar situations, and whether it was time to walk away.
'Can any of the fellow redditors help a fellow Singaporean out in this? I would really appreciate for any advice or thoughts. I am really feeling helpless and loss in this situation,' he wrote. 'Divorce her and save your kids that trauma.'
In the thread, many Singaporean Redditors felt that the man had already given his wife more than enough chances and urged him to leave before things got worse.
One told him, 'She sounds like she has no remorse and is unrepentant. You might wanna cut your losses while you're still young. The kids shouldn't be learning from a parent like her.'
Another commented, 'Hi, coming from a dad whose addiction to alcohol made my childhood a living nightmare, divorce her and save your kids that trauma. I understand that you love your wife and want to believe/rebulid a relationship with her, but the moment you first hesitated to apply a BTO with her, ask yourself why did you hesitate.'
A third wrote, 'If you have any pride as a man, you would divorce her.'
Still, not everyone advocated for separation. A handful of Redditors suggested that the man explore professional help before making any final decisions.
One said, 'Go to an expert. Make an appointment with a marriage counsellor. Get her some additional help for her addiction, too. This is not a situation where you should fully rely on answers from strangers online. Reference, yes, but don't take any of it at face value. I hope you can work this out.'
In other news, a man took to Reddit to share that his brother is being worked to the bone under a gruelling new shift system that is taking a toll on his health and sleep.
Posting on r/askSingapore on Thursday (Jul 17), the man explained that his brother was already working long hours from 8:30 a.m. to 6 p.m. Recently, however, his company introduced a new shift system that now forces him to return for additional late-night work.
According to him, his brother is now required to return to work on certain nights from 10 p.m. to 2:30 a.m. and sometimes even as late as 6 a.m.
Read more: 'His whole body clock is gone': Man shares his brother's company makes him work from 10 pm to 6 am once or twice a week, and it's destroying his health
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