How dowry continues to ensnare women in Tamil Nadu, and around India

India Today

02-07-2025

Late last month, 27-year-old Ridhanya was found dead in her car on a highway in Tiruppur, Tamil Nadu—just three months into her wedding. Before consuming poison, she had sent audio messages to her father, explaining how she could not 'bear the torture any longer'.Ridhanya's family had already given 100 sovereigns of gold, a Rs 70 lakh luxury car, and hosted a wedding that cost over Rs 2.5 crore. It wasn't enough, it seems.advertisementDays later, in Ponneri near Chennai, another newlywed woman—22-year-old Lokeshwari—died by suicide after her husband allegedly demanded more gold and household items. It marked the second dowry death in Tamil Nadu in a week.The deaths are the latest in a series of dowry-related suicides and murders reported in the state over the past few years. From young professionals in cities to daily-wage labourers in villages, the pattern is disturbingly consistent: early marriage, mounting dowry demands, emotional and physical abuse and, eventually, fatal violence.
This May, a 23-year-old software engineer in Manimangalam, in Kanchipuram district, was initially reported to have died from a fall. A post-mortem revealed otherwise—she had been murdered. Her husband was arrested, and investigators traced the motive to dowry harassment. Last year, Sruthi Babu, a 24-year-old woman from Kanyakumari, died by suicide after similar abuse. Days later, her mother-in-law too took her own life.advertisementThe names and districts vary, but the stories follow a grimly familiar script. Poorani, 29, from Erode, was allegedly strangled by her husband after repeated dowry demands. Roja, 27, from Cuddalore, was killed; her husband and mother-in-law were arrested. Pudukottai resident Nageswary, 22 and seven months pregnant, took poison after facing sustained abuse. In every case, a large dowry had been given. In every case, it was followed by further harassment.While Tamil Nadu's official dowry death figures are comparatively low—29 in 2022, according to the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB)—activists warn that these numbers grossly underrepresent the scale of the problem. Countless cases go unreported due to stigma, fear or pressure to protect family name.Advocate and women's rights activist B.S. Ajitha says domestic violence and dowry are dangerously 'being seen as cultural'. 'Domestic violence has become a part of our culture, not because it's acceptable but because it's been normalised,' she says.'When a woman is body-shamed by her husband or told she will be a good wife only if she forgets her birth home, these are not just throwaway remarks. They reflect a value system that places women in a permanently secondary position within marriage. Even parents say—'This is normal. Adjust',' explains Ajitha.advertisement'The burden of adjustment always falls on the woman. For the family to survive, it is the woman who must bend, break and endure. I have heard parents tell their daughters, 'Even if you die, die in your husband's house. Do not break the family',' she adds.Ajitha points out that the Dowry Prohibition Act of 1961 is out of step with how the menace is practised today. 'A grand wedding is not considered dowry. Jewellery given according to the groom family's expectations is justified by saying that it is for the bride. But this is dowry too. The form has changed, so we pretend it does not exist. It is embedded in every marriage negotiation and silently fixed, according to class,' she says.The situation in Tamil Nadu is a microcosm of a national crisis. According to the NCRB, 6,450 dowry-related deaths were recorded around India in 2022—claiming the lives of nearly 18 women a day. Uttar Pradesh topped the list with 2,218 deaths, followed by Bihar (1,057), Madhya Pradesh (518) and West Bengal (472). That same year, 13,479 cases were filed under the Dowry Prohibition Act.Southern states fare better on paper—Tamil Nadu, Kerala, Karnataka and Telangana collectively reported 442 dowry deaths in 2022, but even in these states, the numbers hide more than they reveal. Kerala and Tamil Nadu, with relatively high female literacy and stronger institutions, still see regular dowry-linked suicides and murders. Conviction rates in dowry cases remain dismally low, around 30 per cent.advertisement'Dowry is illegal and parents have to understand that,' says actor and political activist Kushboo. 'If parents really want to give something to their daughter, let them put the money directly in her bank account—not in the form of gold or cars. The greatest gift they can give the groom is their daughter. If they even suspect she might be mistreated for not bringing enough dowry, they should not marry her off at all. She is better off living as a single woman at home. Why should parents give in to societal pressure?'The pressure to conform is immense. Lavish weddings and public displays of gold are celebrated, not condemned, fuelling a culture where women are expected to come with wealth attached, and where failure to meet expectations can be fatal. In Ridhanya's case, her family's excessive generosity did not protect her—it only fed further entitlement.advertisementWhile Tamil Nadu has seen a few successful convictions, such as a recent high court decision upholding a 10-year sentence in a 2000 dowry case, such victories are rare and hard-won. Families spend years fighting for justice, facing not just a broken legal system but also the weight of social stigma and apathy.The persistence of dowry-related violence, despite decades of legal reform, demands a structural response. Legal mechanisms must be sharper and faster. Observers say there is an urgent need for time-bound trials in dowry death cases, and strong community-level monitoring for at-risk women. Gender equality must be taught early—in schools, colleges and public discourse. Social sanctions should shame the dowry takers, not the women who speak out.'The entire structure of our society trivialises women's suffering within the family. The moment a woman asserts her rights, she is blamed for threatening the sanctity of the family. There is a culture of loud silence, which is felt, not spoken about. And this silence perpetuates violence,' says Ajitha. She points out that the State should be more assertive. 'We only have knee-jerk reactions. No politician speaks about dowry on any stage. Two decades ago, we had anti-dowry slogans on every stage. Today it is as if dowry does not exist. It did not go by default; it went off by design. After the form changed, we feigned ignorance.'advertisementTamil Nadu took a progressive step in 1989 when then chief minister M. Karunanidhi passed the Hindu succession (Tamil Nadu Amendment) Act, 1989, to give daughters equal inheritance rights—decades ahead of the Supreme Court's 2020 ruling. But on the ground, little has changed. Social pressure, patriarchal norms and the fear of disrupting family ties keep most women from claiming their rights. In many cases, dowry continues to be seen as a substitute for inheritance, reinforcing the very practice the law sought to undo.The question that remains is chillingly simple: how many more women must die before dowry becomes socially unacceptable—not just in speech but in practice? Until that reckoning arrives, women across India will continue to pay the price—with their lives.Subscribe to India Today Magazine- EndsTrending Reel