Why Harry Styles' Sex Toy Is 'A Big Leap Forward'

Refinery29

6 days ago

Harry Styles' decision to release a sex toy has been exciting in more ways than one. The mere idea that someone as talented and gorgeous as Styles would, in any way, intersect with our sex lives has immediately given rise to fantasies and internet commentary. 'If I buy the Pleasing vibrator, does Harry Styles teach me how to use it?' pondered one X user. "'Coming soon', hell yeah I am!!!' joked another. Upon their release, the vibrator reportedly sold out in only minutes.
Of course, Styles and his team anticipated such a response. Styles' career has been flanked with parasocially adoring fans ever since his One Direction debut. As he's evolved, both in age and as an artist, he's embraced an androgynous sexual charisma in the vein of David Bowie or Prince, and his latest commercial venture riffs on this appeal. The Pleasing vibrator and lubricant was accompanied by marketing rife with innuendo and fantasy, from Morse code messaging (which Redditors have since declared to be nonsensical) to a Babygirl -endorsed glass of milk.
However, Styles' vibrator has the potential to be more than clever branding and fodder for quippy Tweets (as much as those were appreciated). Styles has long been using his image to challenge gender norms. From embracing skirts on the red carpet to donning nail polish and launching his gender-neutral fashion and beauty label, Pleasing, in 2021, he's been feeling his way through an idea that masculinity doesn't have to look a certain way. Sitting under this very same label, the vibrator is an extension of Styles' gender philosophy. It's his latest way of critiquing — and broadening — 'masculine' ideals.
To put it plainly, when Styles — a famous, cis-gendered man — endorses a vibrator, it serves to counter a still-prevalent narrative that toys are a sign of sexual failure for men. 'When we do surveys with straight men, they report fears of being seen as creepy or pathetic for using sex toys solo, and feeling threatened by sex toys in partnered sex because they 'should be able to give their partner multiple orgasms without help'," explains Lucy Wark, co-founder of sexual wellness and pleasure company, Normal. "Whereas, the conversation for most women and the queer community is about pleasure, self-care and empowerment to enjoy sex even more. "It's actually a big leap forward to see a male celebrity with Harry Styles' profile promoting a toy, because the conversation about cis men's pleasure is a couple of decades behind.'
The hope of sex educators is that, when celebrities open the door to a discussion of sex in a safe, healthy and open-minded way, this will impact the conversation at large. As sex therapist and Lovehoney expert Christine Rafe explains, 'When celebrities speak openly about sex, it gives permission for others to do the same. It creates a ripple effect which makes conversations around desire, pleasure, and boundaries feel more mainstream and less taboo.'
We only need to look back to 2008 to understand the effect of one celebrity on the realm of 'sexual wellness'. The term itself is said to have been propelled into the mainstream by Gwyneth Paltrow and her Goop empire. While we've come to understand the failings of some Goop products (like the Jade 'yoni' egg, which was widely discredited by gynaecologists, and also saw Goop cop a $154k fine for misleading claims), having an A-lister stand in the notion that your pleasure should be prioritised paved the way for proceeding years of abundance in sexual health conversation, and for other experts to rise. Since then, we've seen Emily Nagoski's 'Come As You Are' (first published in 2015) become one of the most influential books on female sexual pleasure, and Netflix's Sex Education (2019) thrust, well, sex education into the mainstream.
While Harry Styles is far from the first celebrity to release a sex toy, he is one of the few cis celebrity men of his status to delve into this space. With the orgasm gap looming for heterosexual couples, it certainly can't hurt to have someone like Styles in the corner of external stimulation. (And, not for nothing, the Pleasing vibrator was created in collaboration with sex educator and 'Dildo Duchess', Zoë Lignon — so, it's not just for show.) At the very least, the experts all agree Styles is a welcome addition to the chat.
'Harry Styles has always embraced fluidity and self-expression,' Rafe summarises. 'So I hope his range reflects a similarly inclusive and modern view of pleasure, one that encourages people to explore what feels good without shame. Hopefully, people walk away feeling that pleasure is not just acceptable, but important — and that everyone deserves access to it, regardless of gender or experience.'