Pickleball helps grieving mother cope with the loss of her son

Miami Herald

4 days ago

With a heavy heart and yet a joyful spirit, Carolyn Glickstein – 80 years young – teaches pickleball as often as possible at a Brickell-area high-rise condominium.
It was at that same condo – known as Neo Vertika and located at 690 SW 1st Court – where her son, Michael, was found dead inside his apartment just over four years ago.
And it is at Neo Vertika's pickleball court, up on the sixth floor, where there's a tribute in honor of Carolyn's son.
In black ink, etched on the court and located near the net, the dedication reads:
'In memory of Michael Glickstein.'
Carolyn, who splits her time between Minnesota and the condo her son owned in Miami, said pickleball has played a key role in her life, especially since she lost Michael to a diabetic coma on June 22, 2021.
He was just 40 years old.
To help her cope, Carolyn has created an Instagram page, 'Good Grief Pickleball', and her posts are cathartic.
The top of that page reads as follows:
Grieve. Play. Heal. Repeat.
'Pickleball has gotten me through some tough times,' Carolyn said. 'There were times I couldn't get out of bed because of my sadness … but I was able to get up to play pickleball.
'I truly love the sport. I'm grateful for the people I've met through pickleball.
'Through the Instagram page, I'm using pickleball as a vehicle to talk about grief because it's a subject we don't often discuss in society.'
Sometimes, pickleball helps people open up about their grief.
'After we play, we talk, and that brings us together,' Carolyn said. 'Pickleball gives me and others an opportunity to express our grief.'
At the Miami condo, Carolyn said she teaches mostly 'young people,' and she marvels about all the different cultures and nationalities represented at Neo Vertika.
She's also proud that her suggestion led to what she said is the first pickleball court in the Brickell area.
'Teaching pickleball is such a gift,' Carolyn said. 'The people who live in that condo are mostly busy professionals.
'Sometimes I let them know that the name on the court belonged to my son. There's silence. … That court is a special place.'
How that court came to be is a story onto itself.
It all started with Michael, who was a talented basketball player at Edgemont High in Scarsdale, New York. Among his accomplishments at Edgemont, Michael -- a 6-foot point guard – once scored 36 points in a high school game. He also led Edgemont to 15 straight wins.
From there, he attended Skidmore College in Saratoga Springs, New York, earning a Bachelor's degree in Business and Sociology and then landing a job at Goldman Sachs.
Carolyn said her son didn't consume drugs or alcohol, but she admits his life got off track, especially in regards to his mental health.
In June of 2021, after not hearing from his son for a couple of days, Carolyn's ex-husband called Neo Vertika.
Ezra Martinez, the property manager, took the call and went up to check on Michael. When Martinez got to Michael's apartment, he told his assistant to wait outside.
'It's difficult,' said Martinez, who sensed he might find a dead body inside that apartment. 'It's not the first one. I've been through a few.'
Martinez found Michael on his couch, where he had passed away. Martinez called for an ambulance, but it was too late.
A short time later, Carolyn came to sort through Michael's possessions. In addition, she thanked Martinez, and the two of them struck up a friendship.
At one point, Carolyn – ever the pickleball enthusiast – suggested to Martinez that he should put up a pickleball court on the sixth floor.
Since this was about four years ago, and the sport hadn't taken off in South Florida just yet, Martinez responded predictably:
'What's pickleball?'
When Carolyn heard that, she ran up to get her paddle for a demonstration. But by the time she returned to Martinez's office, he had already Googled 'pickleball'.
Soon after that, Martinez mentioned adding pickleball to the condo's other sports offerings, which include basketball and racquetball.
'My board president said that we could set it up as long as we had the room,' Martinez said. 'So, (within three weeks), we bought a net, drew the lines and purchased some paddles and pickleballs.'
The board president also came up with the touching idea of dedicating the court to Michael, and Carolyn – a certified coach – gives lessons whenever she's in Miami.
'Our residents are using the pickleball courts every day,' Martinez said, 'even in this heat.'
Martinez said he has never played pickleball, but he has been impressed when watching Carolyn in action – on and off the court.
'First of all, she makes me send out a flyer to tell residents she in town for pickleball lessons,' Martinez said with a laugh. 'People come out, and she teaches them.
'She's also an amazing player. She could whip me for sure.'
Carolyn takes pride in still being physically active at the start of her ninth decade.
But pickleball is only half of her mission. The other half is helping herself and others deal with grief, and it doesn't have to be death. It could be grieving the loss of a relationship, for example.
For Carolyn, though, it's about the loss of Michael.
'When your son dies, your life changes,' Carolyn said. 'Whether he died four years ago or four weeks ago, your life will never be the same again. Mine isn't.
'My grief is with me daily, nightly. Sometimes I allow myself the luxury of tears when I stop and really think about him and how much I miss him.
'Sometimes when I'm with someone I trust – someone who knew my son and someone I know can handle my sadness – I cry.
'They don't need to do or say anything. Just witness my grief.'