Okay, These 50 Absolutely Mind-Blowing Photos Just Completely, Totally, And Utterly Shattered My Dumb Little Brain Last Month

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For one brief, strange moment, WOODEN bathing suits were a thing:
Bring them BACK.
This was how big the cake for Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Phillip's wedding was:
It had four separate tiers and was over nine feet tall. I can neither confirm nor deny that it is an ice cream cake.
In 1962, three men escaped Alcatraz Island prison after fooling guards with papier-mâché decoy heads that looked like this:
Speaking of which, this is what the menu for Alcatraz prison looked like on March 13th, 1956:
Hot dogs... chili... banana pudding... not too shabby.
And, finally, here's what a typical Alcatraz cell looked like:
Actually very, very shabby.
This picture of a hairless chimpanzee really demonstrates just how absolutely yoked chimps are:
So if you were thinking of throwing hands with a chimp, think again.
Here's one more look at a jacked chimpanzee, because you deserve it:
I know you've seen a bicycle built for two... but how about a bicycle built for FOUR:
What's next... a bicycle built for five? Probably.
In 2010, 30 intact champagne bottles were found inside a ship that had sunk in the Baltic Sea more than two centuries before, around 1780:
The champagne inside was still good and apparently "had a very sweet taste" and a "strong tobacco smell":
The other bottles of champagne were sold at auction for over $50,000. I think I'd have to pop about three to four antacids before I braved the 18th-century champagne.
Two places on Earth had a 200-degree temperature difference last month:
Where would you rather be?
This is what the entrance exam to MIT looked like in 1869:
Please share your score in the comments.
During World War II, some soldiers would utilize their gas masks while cutting onions:
Our strongest, our bravest, and our least-teary-eyed.
That little fellah there is Charlie, one of the smallest horses to ever live:
Here's a closer look:
Thank you for everything, Charlie.
This is a picture of the first Ferris Wheel ever, designed specifically for the 1893 Chicago World's Fair:
It was a big deal, folks.
Here's what the view looked like from it:
Lots of BEAMS.
This is perhaps the first photo of people drinking beer ever taken, snapped in the 1840s:
Need to see the first ever picture of one dude hogging the jukebox, personally.
This is what the "back" of the Hoover Dam looked like prior to being flooded with water:
And this is what that same side looks like today:
Wow...a lot more water. Who would've thought?
These are the very first employees of Coca Cola, pictured here in Atlanta in 1898:
The 1890s Coke holiday party probably went hard.
This shows the difference between two legs after an ankle break prevents weight-bearing on one:
Ouch.
Here's a totally non-unhinged invention: a GUN was designed to take a picture each time its trigger was pulled:
Can't image why this didn't catch on.
This is what a mobile home looked like in the 1930s:
Well, one mobile home. Looks like the opposite of comfy.
This is what the border between Mexico and the United States looks like at the ocean between Tijuana and San Diego:
Here's another unique border. This is the border between Canada and France on Saint Pierre and Miquelon near Newfoundland:
While campaigning for president in 1912, Theodore Roosevelt was shot in the chest but survived because the bullet was slowed by a steel glasses case and a folded speech in his jacket pocket. This is the shirt he was wearing that day:
He famously went on to deliver the speech anyway, clocking in at over one hour.
In Finland the largest size of mayonaise is called "AMERICAN SIZE:"
No comment.
This is one of only two remaining pirate Jolly Roger flags in existence:
It was captured in 1790. According to the BBC, the flag's red color "signified the pirates intended to spare no life if a battle broke out during a ship's capture."
Here's what some dinosaur footprints look like:
Neat!
This is one of the last pictures ever taken of President William McKinley, shot moments before he was assassinated in Buffalo, NY in 1901:
He was shot by Leon Czolgosz. RIP, Mac.
This is Paul Karason, whose skin turned permanently blue after years of consuming colloidal silver:
He claimed it cured many of his health problems, including arthritis and acid reflux.
Here he is next to a non-blue person:
According to astronomers, this is the average color of the universe:
The color is called "cosmic latte." To figure this out, astronomers averaged the colors of over 200,000 galaxies together. Folks, would you drink the cosmic latte?
Yellow watermelons are a thing that exists:
They apparently have more of a "honey" taste. I've seen them at Wegman's... but have not tried.
Way, way back when it was originally created, Lysol advertised one of its uses as being for 'feminine hygiene:"
Obviously, this is incredibly dangerous.
Here's a bunch of soldiers practicing their swimming moves while on land:
And here's a bunch of kids doing the same:
Can we please get these kid some WATER.
Here's another strange way to learn how to swim. Each one of these kids is connected by rope to this "merry-go-round" contraption:
Looks very safe.
This is astronaut Dave Scott popping out of the command module for a brief spacewalk in 1969:
Some people have visible rings around their eyes. They are apparently called contraction furrows, and are totally normal:
And very cool looking.
Some old lawnmowers had built in cigarette lighters:
We used to be a proper country.
Some menus include the estimated cooking time for each dish along with the price:
This is a loaf of sourdough bread that was miraculously preserved after the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius in 79 CE:
It was inside an oven at the time of the eruption. Folks, are you eating the volcano bread?
Sanddollars, my friend... sanddollars can be very tiny:
Some elevators in Japan have tiny little toilets in the corner:
For... you know... emergencies.
This is what the start of a river looks like:
Otherwise known as a spring. This is the start of the Metolius River in Oregon.
This is the amount of contact a train wheel typically makes with the track:
A bit scary.
This is what a cross-section of a Boeing 747 looks like:
Not much between you and the great wide-open sky.
And, finally, during World War II, the US military handed out a guide for American soldiers serving in Britain. This is a small excerpt of what it said:
Some valuable advice there.