Mattering: It's Good For Business And For Every Relationship

Forbes

08-07-2025

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Let's explore something that seems to be getting more attention every day: the issue of 'mattering.'
For most of us, to matter means to be noticed, to be cared for, to be important to others.
There's no doubt that a person's feeling that they matter is directly tied to their ability to thrive.
Dr. Zach Mercurio understands this better than most. He's author of The Power of Mattering: How Leaders Can Create a Culture of Significance.
As a psychologist and researcher, Mercurio explores one of the most overlooked forces in leadership and culture—the human need to feel seen, heard, and valued. His groundbreaking work reveals how a hidden epidemic of insignificance is quietly eroding engagement, trust, and performance in organizations, and what leaders can do to reverse it.
Drawing from the emerging science of mattering and his experience with hundreds of teams, Mercurio introduces a practical framework for creating cultures of significance.
Whether you're a seasoned executive, a new manager, or you simply want to be more effective in your personal relationships, this man's insights are well worth your attention.
Mercurio says mattering is different from self-worth or self-esteem because it's a reflection of appraisals of us by other humans.
'Self-worth is my own belief in my worth,' Mercurio says. 'But to have that belief sustained, I must see evidence of my significance in my environment. Mattering is a survival instinct. It's a basic need. It's the experience of feeling significant to those around us that comes from feeling valued and adding value.'
Mercurio says our society is experiencing a mattering deficit. This is reflected in studies that show 30% of employees say they feel 'invisible' at work and 80% of workers feel lonely.
'But loneliness is not an outcome of being alone,' Mercurio says. 'It's an outcome of feeling insignificant to those around you.'
Dr. Zach Mercurio
What's the impact on organizations?
'When people have low quality interpersonal relationships, they withdraw, they 'quiet quit,' and that's not good for anyone,' Mercurio says. 'We see people withholding information, not speaking up with ideas, showing diminished energy on projects. These are all signals of withdrawal that can evolve into complaining, blaming, and gossiping. A lot of toxic behaviors are actually the language of the unheard and unseen. It's people clamoring to have their voices heard and their ideas and hard-earned expertise matter.'
Disengagement is of course a symptom of not mattering. 'For the past 20 years, Gallup has been telling us how disengaged we've been, and last year it was the lowest it's been in a decade,' Mercurio says. 'This is despite well-being programs, DEO programs, and despite employee engagement becoming a billion-dollar industry. Only four in ten people say someone at work cares about them as a person, and just 30% say someone at work invests in and sees their uniqueness. This is not a disengagement crisis, it's a mattering deficit.'
Some people seek significance through achievement, Mercurio says, but this pursuit of being impressive is ultimately unfulfilling.
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'Achievements come and go,' he says. 'This happened to a lot of people in the pandemic. They tied their identify to what they were doing in their job and when that went away so did their sense of self. Any time you tie your identify or your worth to something, it will disappoint you because it's transient. However, when you build relationships in which you can see how you matter to other people, you can see how you're adding value. The opportunity to add value never goes away. You may not be able to accomplish the things on your to-do list today, but you will always have the opportunity to contribute to another human being in simple interactions.'
Mercurio cites studies showing that 'people who have more compassionate and more contribution-centered goals see how they matter to others and are happier, healthier, and less anxious.'
He tells the story of his 102-year-old grandfather who has sent him birthday cards every year since he was a young boy. He would include a small amount of cash. But the most memorable part was his handwritten note: 'How do you improve the moment you're in?' In other words, would the growing boy choose to generate more energy and caring in daily moments or would he choose to extract from them?
Mercurio says one of the strongest predictors of people's feeling that they matter is adding value to other people.
Mattering clearly matters—in terms of the prosperity of organizations and in terms of the personal relationships that bring joy to life.