Teen Refuses to Shave Head for Niece With Cancer. Now His Family Is Calling Him Selfish
A teen turns to the Reddit community for advice following a heartbreaking request that leaves him feeling torn between love and personal identity. At just 17 years old, he finds himself facing unexpected pressure from his family after his young niece is diagnosed with leukemia.
'I really really don't want to sound egoistic, but I'm a guy with long hair, which over the years has basically become my personality,' the teen explains in his post. He says that while he's always cared for his niece and her family, he's struggling with the idea of giving up the one thing that brings him confidence and joy.
The situation begins when his 7-year-old niece is diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia (ALL), a moment that the teen says 'basically broke their family apart.' Wanting to be supportive, he makes efforts to emotionally be there for his niece and the rest of the family during the difficult time.
But things shift when chemotherapy causes his niece's 'beautiful long blonde hair' to fall out, and her family decides to shave her head. 'The next day, a group chat including the entire family was created where my aunt announced it would be wholesome if everyone shaved their hair off as well,' he writes.
At first, the teen finds the idea 'wholesome,' but admits he doubts anyone would actually follow through. That changes quickly when he comes home to find both his mother and sister already bald. '[Followed] by my other cousin, and grandma,' he adds.
The pressure mounts when his mother confronts him the next morning. 'When are you ready to do it?' she asks, trimmer in hand. The teen is stunned. 'I originally thought it was something to decide on your own,' he says. 'But since everyone else is doing it, I'm kind of being pushed into a corner.'
Though he deeply loves his niece, the teen can't ignore how much his hair means to him. 'It's pretty much the only thing about myself I love,' he admits. He also questions how much the gesture really matters to his niece, recalling a video his aunt took of her reaction to other family members shaving their heads.
'She has to tap her maybe 4 times to get her attention, and when she looks, she just stares at it, says 'wow' and continues watching her cartoon,' he writes.
After watching that video, he notices his mom becoming 'pushy' about him doing the same. 'In other words, she wants to drag me down into the pit with her,' he says.
Things intensify when he receives a text from his aunt urging him to shave his head too. 'She said it would be really nice if I shaved my head as well, in order to show my emotional support,' he writes. But the teen questions whether the act would truly have any impact.
'If we have to keep things real, shaving my head will basically change nothing in the entire situation,' he says. 'But I can't just say no, can I?' He reveals that what stings the most is the lack of acknowledgment shown to the family members who already shaved their heads.
'If my aunt would have shown a little more appreciation to my sister and mom, I would have probably considered it,' he admits. 'But considering she did not even reply to the pictures and just immediately showed them to my niece, as if you HAVE to do it, I don't think I'm willing to do it.'
Despite the emotional weight of the decision, the teen reiterates his love for his niece. 'I really really really love my niece,' he writes. 'And even though I'm not that close with her, I always really cared about her and made sure she always felt comfortable with me.'
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But the emotional burden is growing, and the teen feels outnumbered. 'I'm almost getting threatened to cut off my hair by three people,' he shares. What troubles him most is the fear of sacrificing something personal only for it to go unrecognized.
'If I do decide to do it, what if no appreciation is shown?' he asks. 'Yes, I would have done it, to show support from my side, but if it's nowhere to be appreciated, then what's the point?'
Other Redditors weigh in, including cancer survivors themselves. 'Don't do it,' one commenter writes. 'I never asked, wanted anyone to do that. It made me feel worse.'
Another commenter echoes that sentiment. 'As a cancer patient, I never understood this gesture,' they say. 'I also see it as attention seeking behavior.'
The teen ends his post not with anger, but with a question that reflects the emotional complexity of his situation. 'But really, what do I do?' he asks. 'I seriously really don't know.'
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