Heartbreak as Mom Describes Giving Birth to Her Stillborn Daughter
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A grieving mom from New York has opened up about the heartbreaking experience of delivering a stillborn baby.
Tiffany Paltauf (@thatvegancowgirl) posted a reel about the physical, emotional and psychological toll of losing a child at birth.
"I wish that I had more time with Bella," the 28-year-old told Newsweek. "I had almost 40 weeks with her and I had an amazing pregnancy."
Tiffany Paltauf, in a cherry-print headband and pink shirt, speaks to camera for her Instagram reel.
Tiffany Paltauf, in a cherry-print headband and pink shirt, speaks to camera for her Instagram reel.
@thatvegancowgirl
Living on their animal sanctuary in Granville, Paltauf and husband, Joe Bonitatebus, 32, had already built memories with Bella before her birth.
"Her and I had amazing memories of walking around the farm, eating good food and listening to music," Paltauf said.
Bella passed away during a planned home birth but was delivered at the hospital at almost 40 weeks, weighing 5 pounds, 10 ounces.
Stillbirth remains a largely unspoken grief, affecting around 1 in 175 pregnancies in the United States each year, according to the CDC.
But the physical aftermath is often overlooked. Paltauf explained how her body responded as if Bella had lived—her breast milk came in days later.
"I seriously did not expect my milk to come in for some reason," Paltauf said. "I just assumed I would be cut some slack. I remember stuffing cold cabbage leaves in my bra and avoiding any and all stimulation to avoid my milk coming in any further."
Tiffany also shared that there is "nothing more painful" than giving birth to a baby that comes out silent.
"I wish I was prepared more for what it would be like to give birth to Bella sound asleep, but truly nobody can prepare a mom for that," Paltauf said. "When I was pushing, my husband and I were holding each other's hands so tight and praying she would come out screaming, and she didn't."
Support from medical professionals was mixed. While Tiffany praised the kindness of her midwifes and hospital staff, she recounted a painful encounter with a bereavement specialist.
Paltauf said: "She and I got into an argument because I wanted to leave the hospital because I was in complete shock; she told me I wasn't a good mom. It was awful."
To help someone support grieving parents, Paltauf added: "I wish more people knew how important and powerful it is to simply say, 'I am so sorry, I am thinking of you and Bella,' instead of, 'Everything happens for a reason.'"
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