Fiona Phillips opens up about the heartbreaking real reason behind marriage troubles after ‘blaming menopause'

Scottish Sun

19 hours ago

Fiona was caught up in so many conflicting emotions – she knew the job was destroying her but it also gave her security and purpose
TOUGH TIMES Fiona Phillips opens up about the heartbreaking real reason behind marriage troubles after 'blaming menopause'
FIONA Phillips has opened up about the heart-breaking real reason behind her marriage troubles after "blaming menopause".
The broadcaster and TV presenter, 64, explained that she and her husband, Martin Frizell, 64, were having the most horrendous rows.
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Fiona Phillips has opened up about the heart-breaking real reason behind her marriage troubles after "blaming menopause"
Credit: ITV
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Fiona Phillips and Martin Frizell were having troubles in their marriage over trivial things
Credit: Getty
Fiona was working three days a week on GMTV and packed other days with work too.
"She explained: "On top of my weekly newspaper column, I was also presenting a radio show, another TV programme and various one-off documentaries."
"When I became the main presenter on GMTV in January 1997 I felt like the luckiest woman alive
But for for the entire time, Fiona had been combining her role as a TV presenter with caring for her parents.
"My mother had Alzheimer's and until her death the previous year aged just 66 I'd looked after her every weekend.
"Not long afterwards we discovered my father had also fallen victim to the disease.
"Then I'd dash home to pick the boys up from school, give them some tea and help with their homework before falling into bed and doing it all over again the next day," reports The Daily Mail.
Fiona revealed that her and Martin were having horrendous rows that spiralled over ridiculous things like emptying the dishwasher.
"II need more help around the place, Martin!' I'd yell. 'You expect me to do everything.
"And then he'd come back at me: 'Well, what do you want me to do? Give up my job?
"No, I just feel like it all comes down to me.
"Well, let's get a live-in nanny then!' he'd yell.
"I don't want a live-in nanny taking over my house!' I'd shout back.
Fiona was caught up in so many conflicting emotions – she knew the job was destroying her but it also gave her security and purpose.
"I knew I wasn't giving the boys the attention they needed but I didn't want to pay someone else to do that when I'd been brought up to believe that was my job.
"And I loved Martin and our family, so why couldn't I just stop yelling at everyone?"
In summer 2008, Fiona agreed a deal and left GMTV almost 12 years after she'd first sat on that famous red sofa.
Martin explained: "In 2008 Fiona left GMTV. Television can be a brutal world and things keep changing.
"If a new boss comes in and wants to shake up the format then that's what happens – there's not really much a presenter can do about that.
"It was a massive knock to her pride and confidence. Fiona really doesn't have a big ego, unlike so many people in the world of TV, but it was still a jolt.
"During that time she spent a lot of time with her dad. She went down to see him every weekend and also during the week when she could.
"When Phil passed away, that was incredibly hard for her."
In 2014, Martin took over at ITV's Loose Women and, after a spell sorting that out, became Editor of This Morning with Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby the following year.
Fiona said: "But my TV career didn't recover in the same way. Bits and pieces of work came in but I never felt completely right.
"Was I worried that there might be something sinister lurking beneath the surface? That Alzheimer's could one day be coming for me too?
"On one level I did think I would get the disease, but there was also another part of me that was in a strange sort of denial about it all.
"This illness has devastated so much of my life already, surely it's not going to come for me too?' I'd tell friends.
"Lightning doesn't strike twice. Well, even if it does, it definitely doesn't strike three times.'
"Was that wishful thinking? Maybe, but there were times when I truly believed it."
Meanwhile Fiona and Martin's marriage was coming under increasing strain.
Fiona is now sure the disease was at least partly responsible, but at the time neither of them could see it.
Instead she revealed that she just became more and more disconnected from Martin and the boys.
"You've totally zoned out of our family and our marriage,' he would say to me.
"Don't be so bloody ridiculous!' I'd yell back.
"But, if I'm honest, I think he was right. I just didn't seem to have the energy for any of it any more."
Martin eventually moved out and the couple separated for a few weeks but then reconciled.
"You've been so distant for so long,' he told me. 'I just need to know – is this going to work or not?'
"Well, I want it to work,' I said.
"And so do I,' he said. 'But things have got to change.'
"And I knew he was right. The only problem was I didn't know how to change things."
In 2020 Fiona decided that, having caught Covid earlier that year, she was now suffering from Long Covid.
"Or was I using that as another excuse to the world for why my behaviour had changed? I just don't know," she explained.
Around then Fiona also lost her confidence around driving and even popping to the shops, which she'd done a million times before, became terrifying.
The simplest things like going to the bank would induce anxiety attacks.
Fiona added: "There were mood swings too, which meant even I was finding my behaviour unpredictable.
"And yet, despite not wanting to be like that, I couldn't do anything about it. I felt I'd lost control over my life"
During 2021, Dr Louise Newson had been appearing frequently on Martin's show, This Morning. She had become known as the UK's leading expert on menopause.
Martin explained to Fiona that if the way she was feeling was down to menopause, then Dr Newson was the person to diagnose it.
Louise took blood tests and put Fiona on a course of hormone replacement therapy but things didn't improve.
After a series of further investigations and tests the pair received the devasting results.
Fiona revealed that the consultant said: 'Yes, so your results are back,'
"And yes, I'm afraid to tell you that you do have early-onset Alzheimer's disease.
"Martin and I stared at him. Neither of us said a word. We sat rigid, locked in suspended animation between everything our lives had been before this moment and everything they would become beyond it.
"I'd only turned 61 at the start of that year. And, while I suppose I had always thought I might get the disease one day, I'd hoped it might be when I was in my eighties or even nineties."
"In those first few minutes after the devastating diagnosis, I was angry, too. Really f****** angry.
"I know you're not supposed to ask 'Why me?' – and I've never been a moaner – but seriously, this time,
"Why me?' What had I done so wrong to deserve this?
"It's not like I needed any more lessons in how awful this illness can be, I could write a whole book.
"In fact, I had written the book ten years earlier. If it wasn't so bloody awful, it would be funny."
"Well, the consultant told us to go home and live as 'normally' as we can,' Martin said flatly."
"The next morning Martin got up to go to work, just as he always did. I got up and made a coffee, then went for a walk, just as I always did," wrote Fiona.
"What else could we do? Lie on the floor, weeping and wailing? That wasn't going to change anything.
"I was determined to keep the diagnosis a tight secret. I hated the thought of becoming an object of gossip or even pity.
"I could imagine in the world of TV some of those people I used to work with saying, 'Oh, have you heard about poor Fiona? What a tragedy!
"I'd worked so hard to be independent and judged on my merits, so the thought of people patronising me like that was too awful.
"Nat was away in the Army, Mackenzie was out with his mates. Everything was normal. But, then, what was our alternative?
"There was no Plan B.
"This was my life now."
Adapted from Remember When: My Life With Alzheimer's, by Fiona Phillips (Macmillan, £22), to be published on July 17.