Our nightmare neighbour made our lives a living hell with death threats, dog poo on doorstep and creepy text messages

The Irish Sun

4 days ago

LOOKING at the texts on her boyfriend's phone, Emma Williams felt sick to her stomach.
'You have really nice eyes – but don't tell your girlfriend I said that,' said one.
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Ben Stanley and Emma William were subjected to two years of abuse when council tenant Drina Gray moved into the flat below them
Credit: Stewart Williams
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Drina Gray, who has now been jailed for 40 months, made the couple's life a 'living hell'
Credit: SWNS
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Drina would issue death threats through our Ring doorbell camera
Credit: SWNS
'Why don't you take me on holiday?' read another.
But Emma's deep unease wasn't because she thought Ben Stanley, 32, was cheating.
It was the fact that the messages were from
'It was a living hell,' says Emma, 31. 'She would issue
Emma became so frightened that she kept a baseball bat next to the front door.
'I was afraid to be home alone if she was there,' she says.
'I would change plans or ask Ben to come home before I went out. We were trapped.
'She would sit on the stairs and hurl abuse at me, not letting me pass.
'We couldn't hear our TV as she would have her music on full volume. It was always the same songs – Someone Like You by Adele, or Bruno Mars.
'I couldn't even read a book or work from home, because you would hear her screaming things and the dog barking.
I came home to find my nightmare neighbour knocking down my DOOR – he claimed it was his right to do it
'It was no way to live.'
Ben, a cybersecurity product manager, had been excited to get on the property ladder when he bought the one-bedroom leasehold flat in Wandsworth, south west London, in August 2022 for £340,000.
But his first home went from haven to hellhole when Gray, a council tenant, moved into the flat below in April 2023.
'I got a bad feeling from day one when I went to introduce myself and heard her shout at her father: 'Tell him to f*** off',' Ben recalls.
'The postman also told me she had a reputation in Tooting, where she had moved from. But I tried to be cordial as she lived downstairs.
'We were the only two flats at the end of a row of three-bedroom houses and had a shared stairwell along with small adjoining gardens.'
She would issue death threats through our Ring doorbell camera and let her dog dirty on the doorstep. She even broke the doorbell twice.
Emma
From day one, Gray would make noise at all hours of the day.
Ben then realised she was running a dog-sitting business from her flat, meaning four or five animals could be barking at a time.
'After I complained about the disruption, she suggested we swap numbers and I could text her if it was too loud,' he says.
'But that was a mistake, because then she was able to harass me by phone, too.
'It wasn't just me who was unhappy – around eight other neighbours were reporting Drina, but they did not share a front door, so could avoid her.'
Relations took a nose dive after Emma – who met Ben in June 2023 – moved into the property the following February.
'I had spent a long time looking for someone special and I was so excited to live with Ben,' says Emma, who works in marketing.
'It was going to be our first home together and we want to have a family. I was aware that Drina caused trouble from when I'd stayed over, but figured we could get through it together.
'But Drina took a dislike to me right away, as Ben was the only one in the street who had given her the time of day. I think she thought I was a threat.
'Drina would always make a point of calling me the wrong name. She was so manipulative.
'I use the word obsession, because it was that level.'
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Finally, in June this year, Emma and Ben saw Gray jailed for 40 months at Kingston Crown Court
Credit: SWNS
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Drina also let her dog defecate on the couple's doorstep
Credit: SWNS
'I became depressed and even had suicidal thoughts, needing to go onto medication for my anxiety,' he says.
'It was also impossible to interview online for new roles when she was yelling and making a racket downstairs.'
The couple made repeated complaints to Wandsworth Council, who were not just responsible for noise enforcement locally, but also the owners of the building's freehold and Gray's landlord.
'It was hard to get anyone to take action,' says Ben. 'Emails would go unanswered and people would fail to turn up to meetings.
'It felt like no one wanted to know. I even went to our local MP, Rosena Allin-Khan, who put pressure on the council and police to respond to my complaints.
'I was told to keep a log of incidents and ended up recording 220 in total.
'After Drina stole some of our parcels, I put up internal cameras that could be used as CCTV for the hallway.
REPEATED COMPLAINTS
'The council weren't sure it was allowed, but it didn't stop us, given the circumstances.
'That's when things got really nasty, as I saw her kicking one of her pets and reported it to the RSPCA.
'They told me they had written to her with a warning but by doing so, it alerted Drina to the fact I'd been filming her and she began making death threats.
'She would shout at us through the floor, or from the garden towards our bedroom window.
'She also made them via our Ring doorbell. These were caught on camera and later used as evidence.'
In May 2024, Gray was arrested and charged with criminal damage for breaking Ben and Emma's doorbell, but the police bailed her back to the flat beneath her victims.
I became depressed and even had suicidal thoughts, needing to go onto medication for my anxiety.
Ben
Over the next year, as they waited for the case to go to court, Gray broke her bail conditions five times by shouting at the couple from the garden and via the Ring doorbell, despite being ordered not to contact them, and was arrested repeatedly.
'It was tempting to move out,' says Emma.
'But we didn't want to be hounded from our home and we knew it would be impossible to sell the flat anyway.
'The dispute would need to be declared, and that would affect the price, should anyone risk buying it. We felt quite trapped.'
Finally, in June this year, Emma and Ben saw Gray jailed for 40 months at Kingston Crown Court, with Judge Lodder KC telling her she'd made the couple's lives hell.
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Now the couple are enjoying their flat in the way they had always dreamed of
Credit: Supplied
She admitted four charges of harassment, criminal damage and using threatening, abusive or insulting words or behaviour with the intent of causing harassment, alarm or distress.
She also failed to comply with a Community Protection Notice and the court heard that she had 18 previous convictions relating to 40 offences.
'You persistently harassed them morning, noon and night,' said the judge.
'Despite orders being obtained to seek to prevent you from behaving in the way you did, you continued in your campaign.'
CAMPAIGN OF TERROR
Ben admits the verdict is bittersweet as they still have to deal with the fallout from her campaign of terror.
'It has taken so long to get here, but now we are here, it has all been worth it,' he says.
'It was a really insane time. It took an awful lot of resilience and courage to keep going.
'What people don't really understand is the psychological and emotional impact it has on you.
'For me, that's far worse than anything physical.
'I told the police I would rather she punched or stabbed me, so they would arrest her.
'The case also got adjourned six times and you start to lose hope in the courts and the police.
'But we carried on and she has got the sentence she deserves.
'I don't know if time in jail will change her. But if it discourages her from doing it again, that's a win.'
DEALING WITH NIGHTMARE NEIGHBOURS
YOU have a right to peaceful enjoyment of your home, so if you're facing ongoing nuisance from a neighbour, Daniel McAfee, head of legal operations at Lawhive, reveals what to do.
Right to Quiet Enjoyment
: "One of the most fundamental rights is the right to quiet enjoyment of your property," explains McAfee.
"This doesn't mean absolute silence; to be more precise, it means the right to use and enjoy your property without unreasonable interference from the freeholder or, crucially, other tenants. In a situation involving a disruptive neighbour, the freeholder - in this instance the council - typically has an obligation to take reasonable steps to address the nuisance, particularly if it breaches the terms of the neighbour's tenancy agreement."
Enforcing Your Lease Terms:
"Your lease will contain various agreements that govern both your obligations as a leaseholder and the council's responsibilities," McAfee notes.
"This includes clauses relating to good neighbourly conduct." If a council tenant causes nuisance, they likely breach their tenancy. As a leaseholder, you have a right to expect the council, as their landlord, to enforce these agreements via warnings or even seeking to end the lease. While lengthy, your right to hold the council accountable for inaction is clear.'
Right to Information and Transparency
: "Leaseholders also have rights to information about how the building is managed," states McAfee.
"This includes details about service charges, major works, and any actions being taken by the council that might affect your enjoyment of the property or its value. While this doesn't directly solve neighbour disputes, understanding the council's overall approach can be important for resolving wider issues. Generally speaking, the council should be transparent in its dealings with leaseholders."
Understanding Your Legal Position:
"A common misconception is that because the council is the freeholder, they have unlimited power and leaseholders have few rights," McAfee clarifies.
"This simply isn't the case. Your rights as a leaseholder are protected by your lease agreement and various laws, such as the Commonhold and Leasehold Reform Act 2002. The lease is a legally binding contract, and both parties must follow its terms. If the council fails in its obligations, there are legal routes available to leaseholders to compel them to act, though seeking legal advice to navigate these is advisable."
What You Can Do Today:
"If you're facing antisocial behaviour from neighbours, there are immediate practical steps you should take," McAfee advises. "First, report the behaviour to both the police and the council to create an essential paper trail.
"If the problem persists and the council has taken no meaningful action, you can engage the 'community trigger' process; this forces agencies to review their response. For serious cases, you can pursue an antisocial behaviour injunction directly.
"If you need to act against the council as freeholder for failing their obligations, options include civil action, the Housing Ombudsman, or a Right to Manage company.
"Dealing with these issues can be complex," McAfee concludes.
"Seeking early legal advice can be invaluable in understanding your specific rights and the most effective course of action.'
Emma adds: 'I think she enjoys pressing people's buttons and then hiding behind alcohol. I think it just became a game for her.'
Now the couple are enjoying their flat in the way they had always dreamed of and say that Gray's behaviour has created a strong bond between them and the rest of their
Wandsworth Council, which owns Gray's flat, have started eviction proceedings and there is a ten-year restraining order in place, banning her from going within a mile of her victims' address or contacting them directly or indirectly.
The council's cabinet member for housing, Aydin Dikerdem, said: 'We accept that we could have acted more swiftly.
'Following this case changes are being made to our anti-social behaviour case management system, to ensure the appropriate actions are taken more promptly and that complainants are kept updated.'
For Emma, the relief that their ordeal is over is all too clear.
'Sometimes, we sit in silence and we are like, 'This is so nice – we don't need to call any lawyers or the council or anyone',' she says.
'It has been a challenging start to our relationship, but hopefully it gets better from here.
'I am really proud we have not taken it out on each other and it has made us stronger.'