
Creating A Great Later Life: Purpose Doesn't Have To Retire
Although lots of the stories we tell each other about retirement from work are positive ("finally, you can do whatever you want!"), the reality can be less sunny. Studies show that depression often increases for many people post-retirement, especially those who have had very responsible jobs, or who identify strongly with their professional persona and accomplishments.
If you're thinking about retirement, about cutting back from full-time to part-time work, or about shifting from a many-hours-a-week job to something less demanding, you might be wondering how the change will affect you–and how to make it as positive as possible.
In writing my latest book, The New Old: Crafting Your Best Later Life, this issue was very personal for me: At the end of 2023, I mostly retired from Proteus International, the company I founded in 1990 and of which I had been the CEO ever since. I realized that I wanted to envision a post-work life that would be as satisfying and meaningful to me as my work with Proteus had been, and the folks in their 60s, 70s and 80s who I was interviewing for the book told me the same thing.
So, the first principle of the book became 'Be the Boss of Your Life'–and the first chapter of that section is called Keep Envisioning Your Future. It talks about how to create a clear and meaningful vision for your 'third act,' that part of your life when raising your kids, if you have them, or advancing your career are no longer your primary focus. I explain exactly how to craft a personalized vision in the book, but here's a quick guide to the key steps.
As you're looking to envision what your desired later life will be like, first decide what core question you want your vision to answer. For instance, it might be something like, 'How can I create a purposeful later life?' or 'How can I create a later life that truly satisfies me?' Look for a question that really gets to the heart of what's important to you in this 'third act.' Whenever I've done this kind of visioning, for myself or with others, I've found that having a what-am-I-solving-for question is extremely helpful; it provides a focus for your visioning, a clear challenge you're trying to address. And starting your question with 'How can I…?' is a great framework for opening your mind up to what's possible; it balances aspiration with practicality.
The next step to envisioning your future life is to get clear about where you're starting from. In order to focus this current-state reflection so it's not too overwhelming, I suggest you only look at those things that are most relevant to the question you're trying to answer. For instance, if you've decided to use the question, 'How can I create a purposeful later life?', identify the aspects of your current life that will make it either easier or more difficult for you to create a purposeful later life.
First, think about the positive things you have in your life right now–strengths, assets, attitudes, relationships, knowledge, capabilities–that could help you answer your question. Then, think about the negative things in your life–weaknesses, gaps, lacks, attitudes, difficulties–that might make it harder to find the answer to your question. For example, if you are very curious and like finding solutions, that could help you create a purposeful later life. If you have a hard time thinking about difficult realities, that could make it harder.
Having a good, accurate sense of your current state relative to the question you're trying to answer is essential if you want your vision to be attainable. Once you know what you have going for and against you, you're much more likely to be able to create what I call a 'reasonable aspiration'–a vision for your future that balances the freedom, hope and joy of aspiring with the solid practicality of what's reasonable, given your actual current situation.
Now comes the fun part; engaging that part of your brain that can envision the future. And just in case you're thinking to yourself, 'Wait, I'm not a visionary, I never have been'–let me disagree with you. Every human being with a functional brain has the capacity to envision realities that haven't yet occurred. Every time you've imagined a vacation to a place you haven't yet gone, or a relationship that might blossom, or even a gift you might want for your birthday.
We humans spend a lot of time inventing and then thinking about realities that don't yet exist! And it turns out this uniquely human capability of envisioning a hoped-for future in this way can significantly increase the likelihood of our achieving that future. Here's a simple process for doing it in a somewhat directed way to help you more clearly picture the later life you want to create for yourself:
1) Select a time frame: We are time-bound creatures, so it's easiest for us to envision how something will be different at a certain point in time or during a period of time. We tend to do it automatically when thinking of our own hopes and dreams (When I finish this project… After the grandbaby's born… Next summer, when we're at the lake…). By this point, having already thought through your own current state relative to your challenge question, you may have a good idea of the time in the future on which you'd like to focus your vision. You might pick a specific point, like 'a year after I retire,' or 'when I'm 70,' or a period of time, like 'in my early 80s.' When I did this exercise a few years ago, the timeframe I chose was 'in my seventies.'
2) Imagine yourself there: At this point, you'll get in a metaphorical time machine and get out on the date or during the period you've selected above, with the assumption that in this future time, you've materially addressed your challenge question. In other words, in this envisioned future, you have 'created a purposeful later life,' if that was your question. It's important to let your imagination do its job and 'put you' in this successful future. One way to do that is to speak to yourself about this future time in the present tense, and to note a few things that are true in that time, to help put you there. (For example, 'My oldest grandchild is 21,' or 'The new decade has just started,' or 'It's been ten years since we sold the family house.')
3) Describe what you see and feel: When you've grounded yourself in this future time you've selected, notice first who you are. Notice things about yourself that demonstrate that you are the person who is living a purposeful life–what does that look, sound, and feel like? Write down your thoughts as they occur to you. Once you've noted the key elements of who you are in this future time, 'look around you': What does your life consist of? How are you spending your time? What impacts are you having on those around you? Again, write down your thoughts as they occur to you.
4) Extract your key vision elements: Now you'll 'boil down' your stream of consciousness brainstorm to pull out the key elements, those things that are most important to you in this envisioned future. First, review and select the few most essential (to you) elements that describe who you are in this optimal later life. Then, select the few things that feel most important to you about how you're living your life–what you're doing, thinking, and accomplishing. These few sentences are the core of your answer to your challenge question: they summarize how your purposeful later life will feel and look.
As I noted, I explain this process in much more depth in the book, with space to do the activities I've just proposed–but this brief intro will get you started. And because examples are useful and powerful, here a couple of later life visions from the folks I interviewed and worked with in the course of writing the book:
A former executive and thought leader in his eighties:
A retired college professor and author in her seventies:
I hope this approach will support you in creating a later life that feels joyful, intentional and satisfying to you. Because, in the words of my dear friend Marie Holive - 'Purpose doesn't retire.' So, here's to creating the later life you truly want…
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