What's it like to be 23 and starting a new life? I'm unpacking a lot of emotions as my son heads to the US
There's an accurate, if snide, thing I've seen online that reads 'No parent on Facebook can believe their child has turned any age', and yes, OK, not the 'on Facebook' bit, but there is a rote astonishment at time passing that I sometimes slip into, contemplating my adult sons. But, allow me, just this once, a Facebook parent moment. My elder son turned 23 last month and we've just been to London to collect his stuff at the end of his degree. On the way, I realised I was 23 when I moved there myself.
You can't often pre-emptively pinpoint parenting 'lasts', but when you can, they're strange and melancholy – even when they're not, objectively, things a person would choose to do again. This trip involved (I hope) my last time standing, hips screaming from the drive, texting 'We're outside' as we waited for our son to wake up (my husband ended up throwing a ball at his bedroom window). It was definitely my last time removing my shoes amid the overflowing bins of that sticky-floored student house, and hovering over the Trainspotting-esque toilet then deciding against drying my hands on any of the towels. It ended with the last trip along the M1 squished between a salvaged chair, a duvet and an Ikea bag of pans threatening to decapitate me if we made an emergency stop. We were bringing his stuff 'home' knowing that it won't be home for him in the same way again: he's moving to New York this summer. Maybe not for ever, but for years, not months.
To compound the Big Feelings, and the sense of the dizzying slippage of time, my husband and I used the trip to wander round Fitzrovia, where we shared our first flat back when I was 23. It's different but not unrecognisable: the hospital has been demolished but Tesco is thriving; the Phones 4U where we bought our first mobiles is gone; but the bank where we opened Isas when they were invented, proud of our new maturity, hangs on. Our block had acquired several Airbnb key safes but was otherwise unchanged. 'It'll be baking up there,' said my husband, staring up as the late afternoon sun struck the flat black roof. I made him repeat himself, because I have become slightly deaf this year, then we reminisced about the brutal summer heat (it's probably even worse now). We walked around, pointing out survivors: the famously cheap pizza place, the tiny Italian sandwich shop, the DIY store where we panic bought a fan. Then we sat down for a sensible soft drink, because we were tired and I was struck by an ultra site-specific memory of walking through Percy Passage to meet him one evening, having just discovered I was pregnant with our now-23-year-old, enjoying the last seconds of incredulous solo joy before sharing the news. Then another: shuffling along Goodge Street at dawn in labour, stopping outside Spaghetti House (still there) to ride out a contraction. Both our sons were born in this neighbourhood – it changed my life like no other.
The place still felt familiar; what 23 felt like is harder to access. I was a mess, I think: I had been ill and was extremely self-absorbed; I spent far too much time worrying about my weight. I spent little, if any, time worrying about the world, though. World-wise, things felt fine – 'A new dawn has broken, has it not?' Tony Blair had just told us – and if they weren't, it certainly didn't feel like my problem.
There aren't many new dawn vibes for my son's generation as they enter adulthood. I'm not sure we've given them much of a chance to spend a few self-absorbed years focusing on their own dramas, have we? We've gifted them more pressing matters: a collapsing climate, catastrophic economic inequality, a crappy jobs market and even the reemerging spectre of fascism and nuclear war (retro!). Plus, it's all inescapably fed into their faces 24/7 – not a feature offered by a 1997 Phones 4U Motorola.
But I hope, even so, that 23 can still be what it was for me: confusing but full of possibility. An adventure. The perfect age to find yourself in a new city.
Emma Beddington is a Guardian columnist
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
The Sun
2 hours ago
- The Sun
All the picky bits to grab in Iceland now with prices starting from £1 for quick and easy summer dinners
WITH summer in full swing and the weather heating up, there's no better time to stock up on picky bits. And luckily Iceland have really come through with a new selection of snacks that are perfect for hot summer days. 6 6 6 After Marks and Spencer declared Friday - Happy National Picky Bits Day! - there's no better time for a picnic tea. So if you can't be bothered to cook dinner tonight and aren't sure what to buy, look no further. Marks and Spencer regularly offers 3 picky bits for £8 in stores, cutting costs for shoppers. But Iceland offers an even cheaper alternative, with favourites starting from £1. Everyone loves a cool dip for their favourite snacks and Iceland's Takeaway Garlic & Herb Dip 100g looks just the ticket. Shoppers have raved about it in reviews with one writing: "Very nice taste ideal for Doritos or pizza to dip in." And shoppers are raving about the Delicatessen Fine Eating Swedish Style Meatballs that are perfect for eating al fresco. One shopper said: "Kids love them cold or hot." Another added: "Perfect size and price. Delicious recipe. Pity they can't be incorporated into a spag/meatball meal for 2. Nice to eat cold also." Dunnes Stores fans set for frenzy as major new food section lands in supermarkets "I like these meatballs. Good to snack on. Use on salads. Really good value for money," echoed a third. And you can't have a picnic without chicken and Iceland's Ready to Eat BBQ Chicken Breast Slices should go down a treat with your summer guests. Shoppers describe them as succulent and tasty, nicely cooked and with a lovely BBQ taste - perfect on a salad. But if you want something to spice up your dinner why not give Iceland's Ready to Eat Chicken Tikka Breast Slices a try. Iceland Picky Bits Vs Other Supermarkets As the summer heats up many of us don't want to stand in a hot and sticky kitchen - so it's perfect picnic time. Here are some price comparisons for a few picnic staples. Iceland Ready To Eat BBQ Chicken Breast Slices 90g- £1 Sainsbury's Sweet & Smokey BBQ Sliced British Chicken Breast 180g £3.35 Iceland Takeaway Garlic & Herb Dip 100g - £1 Sainsbury's Takeaway Garlic & Herb Dip 90g - £1.85 Iceland Wafer Thin Roast Chicken 120g - £1 Tesco British Wafer Thin Roast Chicken Slices 120g - £2.50 Iceland Thick Sliced Soft White Bread 800g - £1 Hovis Soft White Thick Sliced Bread 800g - £1.39 Iceland 10 Cheesy Singles 170g - £1 Morrisons Cheesy Slices 170g - £1.19 One shopper said: "Very good value for money. Use mainly as a sandwich filler with salad and yoghurt source but have also used them in pasta dishes." Another agreed and added: "Beautiful I would recommend them to anyone, I buy extra and freeze them so that i always have them in the freezer." And of course how could their be a picnic tea without the British staple - the sausage roll. Peter's Jumbo Sausage Roll coming in at - yes you guessed it, £1, is another customer favourite. One happy shopper said: "I enjoy a sausage roll now and then, and Iceland never fail to impress with their low prices." Another added: "Love these, these are my favourite sausage roll." But Iceland's picky bits don't stop there - shoppers can also nab Iceland Wafer Thin Roast Chicken or Wafer Thin Cooked Ham for a pound each. And their 10 Cheesy Singles will go with just almost anything at all. But don't forget an Iceland Thick Sliced Soft White 800g to make your sandwiches. With over 300 reviews, one customer said: "In a market place full of every kind of bread Iceland thick loaf Is exactly what it says on packaging, whilst being ridiculously cheap. "Thick and constantly fresh. Would recommend to any and everyone." "Tastes better than any other branded bread I've tried," agreed another satisfied shopper. Remember to compare prices It is important to remember to always shop around when buying something like this as you might find a cheaper alternative. Websites like Trolley and Price Spy let you compare thousands of products across different retailers to find the best price. Price Spy even lets you see how much an item has cost over time, so you can see if the current price is a good deal. A quick scan on the Google Shopping/Product tab will also bring up how much retailers are selling a certain item for. How to compare prices to get the best deal JUST because something is on offer, or is part of a sale, it doesn't mean it's always a good deal. There are plenty of comparison websites out there that'll check prices for you - so don't be left paying more than you have to. Most of them work by comparing the prices across hundreds of retailers. Here are some that we recommend: Google Shopping is a tool that lets users search for and compare prices for products across the web. Simply type in keywords, or a product number, to bring up search results. Price Spy logs the history of how much something costs from over 3,000 different retailers, including Argos, Amazon, eBay and the supermarkets. Once you select an individual product you can quickly compare which stores have the best price and which have it in stock. Idealo is another website that lets you compare prices between retailers. All shoppers need to do is search for the item they need and the website will rank them from the cheapest to the most expensive one. CamelCamelCamel only works on goods being sold on Amazon. To use it, type in the URL of the product you want to check the price of. 6
The Independent
2 hours ago
- The Independent
Offgrid adventures: Connecting with nature and friends in the Peak District
There's a certain rhythm my friends and I have settled into over the past year. We might all live in different corners of the city – some of us juggling busy jobs, others leaning into the transitional periods that seem to be the foundation of our twenties – but nothing brings us together quite like a good hike. What started out as a solo venture to spend time off-grid, slowly grew into making new friends with shared passions that go beyond just our love of walking and nature. But wherever our lives take us, we keep finding our way back to where it all started – getting together in the Great Outdoors. So when the idea of finally ticking Kinder Scout off our hiking bucket list came up in the group chat, there wasn't much convincing needed. The Peak District had been calling our names for a while – a mix of dramatic moorland, rich history, and the unbeatable feeling of being fully immersed in nature. The perfect weekend to come together and conquer a new challenge. The great escape After wrapping up our busy weeks, we met up at St Pancras train station ready to leave the chaos of our lives behind for a few days. We opted for the train as a way to kick back, decompress and focus on catching up without the stresses of having to navigate traffic or busy roads. With our 26-30 Railcards in hand, we excitedly boarded the carriage, with the money saved on our train travel put elsewhere toward our weekend plans. The train journey was full of the usual – anticipation for the weekend ahead and moments of panic that we'd somehow managed to pack completely wrong. Then, before we knew it, we had arrived in Hope, Derbyshire. Arriving at our stay for the weekend – the charmingly named Mushrooms and Mullions Cottage – we excitedly ran through its cosy rooms to claim beds and take in the views. A simple midnight dinner of the viral Gigi Hadid pasta recipe fuelled us for the next day, and we settled into the space feeling sure this would be the reset we'd been craving. RDG 1 Carousel with one slide shown at a time. Use the Previous and Next buttons to navigate between slides. Image 1 of 3 Saturday morning delivered exactly that. After a week of screens and city noise, we were ready for fresh air and an excuse to switch off. We set off from Upper Booth, picking out local ice cream from a vending machine – between us we had a mix of chocolate, honeycomb and mint chocolate chip. Spirits and blood-sugar high, we began the Kinder Scout trail. The landscape rolled out in every direction: endless green hills, stone paths underfoot and a gentle country breeze. It was a near-immediate transition to a steep climb, but with the consistent support and encouragement from one another we pushed through. We laughed through the struggles and gave ourselves room to pause and take it all in (or pretend to take it in while catching our breaths). But really those breaks came as a reminder of what the weekend was really about: connection to ourselves, nature and each other. RDG Gallery 2 Carousel with one slide shown at a time. Use the Previous and Next buttons to navigate between slides. Image 1 of 3 We passed through the dramatic and winding gorge that is Grindsbrook Clough, which left both ourselves and our worries feeling small. The views throughout offered everything we could've hoped for: a proper challenge and some of the Peak District's most striking landmarks. Jacob's Ladder was our first major moment of awe as we navigated yet another steep but rewarding ascent – but this time giving us glimpses of the valley opening out behind us. We passed through the dramatic and winding gorge that is Grindsbrook Clough, which left both ourselves and our worries feeling small. These landmarks reminded us how much of a climb is about the journey, not just the summit. Between the outbursts of rain, we took time to take in the experience through stillness, singing along to favourite songs and in noticing the small things we often miss in everyday life, like bugs catching a ride on our sleeves. The further we hiked along the Kinder Scout trail, the stronger our feelings of a need to return. The trail humbled us. Each time we thought we'd reached the top, another hill revealed itself just beyond our view. But eventually, we came out the other side. Refuelling and resetting After the hike, we stopped for a celebratory pint at Ye Olde Nags Head in Castleton, soaking in the good weather with locals and other walkers. Even here, the scenic views continued as we took in the view of Mam Tor overlooking the quaint village – a perfect spot to take in all we'd just accomplished. From the backstory of Peveril Castle to its ties to Game of Thrones, it was clear to see how this charming village could hold such a rich history. We headed back to our cottage for a much-anticipated BBQ in the garden. Our legs heavy but proud, we quickly showered and prepped a well-deserved feast just in time for Golden Hour. We sat in the garden for hours until the sun had set, sharing plates and reflecting on the day. RDG GALLERY 3 Carousel with one slide shown at a time. Use the Previous and Next buttons to navigate between slides. Image 1 of 3 We hopped on the train feeling full – not only from the fruit and pancakes and the miles we had walked, but from the sense of togetherness we'd found along the way. Sunday morning came too quickly. We used it as an opportunity to soak in the weekend one last time as we enjoyed a final breakfast in the garden. We hopped on the train feeling full – not only from the fruit and pancakes and the miles we had walked, but from the sense of togetherness we'd found from the moment we hopped on the train at St. Pancras. While hiking is in many ways about the summit and views, it's also about the moments in between: carrying each other's backpacks, the moments that don't quite go according to plan and the shared appreciation while taking it all in. These are the moments that have stayed with us most, as we begin to plan out our next adventure. Enjoy great value British adventures by train From stunning nature and the Great Outdoors, to culture, cuisine and incredible scenery, there's no doubt Britain has it all in spades, and these unmissable adventures are just a simple, enjoyable train ride away. So there's never been a better time to start planning some Great British getaways, from day trips to weekends away or a longer staycation. With Railcard, whether you're travelling solo or with a friend, on a couples weekend or off on holiday with the family, you can save on all sorts of train journeys around Great Britain. Railcard helps you save a third off rail travel and for just £35 for the year, it pays for itself in no time. With nine different Railcards available, find the one for you at So make this your year to get out, experience and explore everything on your doorstep and enjoy truly great value getaways.
Daily Mail
2 hours ago
- Daily Mail
Airbnb owner is ordered to tear down 40ft 'prison camp watchtower' from his garden after neighbour complained
An Airbnb owner has been ordered to tear down a 'monstrous' 40ft structure likened to a 'prison-camp watchtower' after furious protests from neighbours. The 'overbearing' structure - intended to provide panoramic views of the village - was built at the £5,000-a-week holiday let without planning permission, leading to nearby residents feeling infuriated. Planning permission for the towering 'garden room' was turned down last year and now another bid has been rejected, with officials saying the tower at Rhos-on-Sea, North Wales, must be removed. Nick Whitmore, 35, who lives with his partner and three young children, said their 'dream home' had been marred by the platform and cabin. Nick said: 'It's advertised on Airbnb year-round, bringing noise, light pollution, and worse. The impact on my partner, our three children, and our neighbours is horrendous. 'The structure dominates our house and garden, as well as that of our neighbours. It looks into my daughter's bedroom. He added: 'We are a local, hard-working family with three children under the age of 10. My partner and I worked very, very hard to buy our dream home, just up the road from the children's school, various public parks, with a bedroom for each of our children, and a nice garden for them to enjoy. 'This has now been taken away from us as we back onto a busy Airbnb and, since Jan 2024, a building site.' Residents were left feeling infuriated by the 'overbearing' tower built at the rental property The holiday let was purchased by a Sheffield-based property owner in December 2023. Neighbours reported the structure to the council and JAM Domestic Properties Ltd submitted a planning application - which was refused. The owners had described the 'breathtaking' £700,000 four-bedroom property as 'the epitome of luxury'. Nick said: 'We alerted Conwy council who asked the company to stop work. 'They did, and submitted a retrospective planning application, which was refused in June 2024 after numerous neighbour objections. 'With no appeal by the 16 December 2024 deadline, we thought the council would follow through and move to enforce their own refusal. 'We assumed relief was near. Instead, two weeks ago, earlier in March 2025, the owner submitted a near-identical planning application. 'We've now endured over 15 months of this situation, with Conwy sitting on their hands while local families and residents suffer daily.' Families living next-door are furious at the 13m-high 'concrete plateau' giving clear views into their properties and blighting their lives. Work on the tower - which would provide panoramic views of the village and neighbouring Penrhyn Bay - began last year, only to be paused when a planning application was turned down. The holiday rental - called Gardd y Llys - is a contemporary property in one of the most upmarket residential areas of Rhos-on-Sea. Neighbours Stephen and Hazel Walburn also wrote a letter of objection to the council. 'The cabin is 13m above our main living area and certainly feels to us to be out of character and overbearing,' they wrote. 'Its scale and appearance are unlike other garden buildings in the area. It fails to enhance the local environment, commanding attention not unlike a prison camp watchtower.' They added: 'It dominates the roofscape and is alien and incongruous.' Conwy council said: 'An enforcement notice has been served which requires the removal of the structure.' The notice was served on 17 June and the developer has been given 10 weeks from that date to launch an appeal. The application by JAM Domestic Properties read: 'Views from the raised platform into neighbouring properties were recognised as being available from the initial planning consent. 'The proposed development is not considered to lead to an acceptable increase to this and is not considered to have a detrimental impact on privacy or residential amenity to neighbouring properties, and therefore would be acceptable on this basis.' A Conwy Council spokeswoman previously said: 'Planning permission was granted in 2016 for a smaller garden structure on this site. 'In February 2024, it was brought to our attention that a larger outbuilding was being constructed.
