Father's group aims to help young, struggling dads

Yahoo

11 hours ago

Diego Lozano became a habitual heroin user at age 18, shortly after his son was born. The habit led to a downward spiral that ended in homelessness for his young family and time behind bars for him as he awaited trial on several criminal charges.
Now free as part of a plea deal, Lozano is getting help rebuilding his life from Fathers New Mexico, a Santa Fe-based organization dedicated to managing the cases of struggling dads and to connecting families with resources they might otherwise not be able to access.
For Lozano, that has meant an array of services, including providing basic needs like milk and diapers.
Fathers New Mexico hopes to dispel assumptions that fathers like Lozano are not and cannot be enough for their children, said executive director Johnny Wilson.
Oftentimes, dads are not expected to be a part of their children's lives or are not taught to seek help when they need it — a result of misguided ideals about masculinity, Wilson said.
'How we talk about what masculinity is needs to change,' Wilson said in an interview. 'Also, the assumptions that many people make about men's willingness and eagerness to parent their children are pretty negative," he said.
When people tell men they aren't expected to be present and invested in a nurturing relationship with their children, "that's very discouraging. It's very, very discouraging,' Wilson said.
His organization seeks to connect struggling parents with legal aid, parenting mentorship and education to advance their careers and opportunities. Wilson estimated Fathers New Mexico reaches 200 to 300 people per year.
At the center of the work is a goal to improve the lives of children, who stand to benefit from fathers who have cleaned up their act and fostered healthy relationships with them, Wilson said.
'Engaged and involved fathers improve outcomes for children. Period. There's no qualifier to that,' he said.
Hector Aveldaño, a case manager with Fathers New Mexico, considers Lozano one of his foremost success stories, although the 23-year-old strayed and dropped off his radar at times.
With Aveldaño's help, Lozano is working through a legal case to get more time with his son. The boy's mother was recently granted sole custody because of Lozano's lengthy criminal record, but Lozano will still get supervised visits with the boy under the court order.
Aveldaño works with different types of families, including fathers who are incarcerated or who have recently immigrated to the United States.
For the former, that includes making trips to New Mexico Corrections Department facilities and holding group meetings. Aveldaño said he often guides incarcerated fathers through peer support groups, parenting classes and sometimes custody cases.
For recently immigrated fathers, Aveldaño said help might consist of getting their children enrolled in school and in child care.
Aveldaño said he believes fathers can overcome any obstacle in providing their children the support they need.
'If people get the help and resources they need, they can get to a point where they can fully support their children,' he said. 'And we've definitely [had] plenty of situations where people are not doing great.'
Currently, Lozano is staying in transitional living housing through The Life Link's Reintegrating into Society Equally, or RISE, program. He's working at McDonald's and taking an information technology class through the program.
He said he's focused on spending more time with his son — and on staying clean.
'It's either I've got to do this, or I don't, and if I don't, there's a really good chance that I'm going to die,' he said. 'So I use that as a motivation every day to not go back.'