Bald men are resurrecting the toupee — here's what women think about the throwback style
Balding millennial men are nixing pricey trips to Turkey — preferring to rock retro rugs instead.
Reverting back to the wiggy ways of their forefathers, 30-somethings with receding hairlines are resurrecting the once-démodé toupee — in a comeback of John Travolta-like proportions.
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Millennial men with hair loss are reviving the toupee as a cost-conscious, realistic alternative to costly hair transplants and treatments.
WavebreakmediaMicro – stock.adobe.com
Surprisingly, the ladies are hot-to-trot for the faux locks.
'Let's normalize men wearing toupees,' urged Madi Marotta, a Tennessee-based content creator, in a clip where she likened the look to hair extensions on women — a widely accepted style.
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Marotta's curly call-to-action syncs up with the viral anti-baldness boom that's trending among guys as young as age 20.
'By the age of 35, two-thirds of American men will experience some degree of noticeable hair loss, and by the age of 50, approximately 85% of men will have significantly thinning hair,' per the American Hair Loss Association. 'Around 25% of men with male pattern baldness begin losing hair before the age of 21.'
Men experiencing hair loss have recently gone to extreme lengths to regain their youthful looks, such as Botox, surgeries and collagen injections to the scalp.
New Africa – stock.adobe.com
To combat the hairlessness headache, gent across all age demographics have explored a slew of swanky, new regrowth innovations — everything from $5,000 transplants in Istanbul to $16,000 robotic restoration treatments in NYC.
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But more budget-conscious blokes prefer covering up their shedding tops to undergoing invasive surgeries and procedures.
Phil Ring, a Big Apple hair replacement pro, shared TikTok footage of himself adhering a tiny toupee to the front of his molting mane, captioning the post, 'I'm not ready to commit to a full [restoration] system yet, so I'm just alerting my healing with a small addition.'
Tyler Stanton, a Nashville influencer, granted over 2.1 million TikTok viewers a step-by-step look at his toupee installation process.
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'Here it's is ladies — drink it in,' he teased, showing off his bare crown before the wig was semi-permanently affixed to his scalp. 'Honestly, my friends didn't even know I had fake hair.'
Emily Cheney, a San Diego-based hairstylist known as the 'Toupee Queen' on social media, previously told People her customized hairpieces can cost a guy around $3,800.
And her wavy add-ons seem to serve as a turn-on to gals who don't mind the pseudo strands.
'He's so handsome,' raved a commenter beneath Cheney's vid of a toupee application, which garnered over 62 million views.
'I hope men know girls don't look down on this at all,' cheered another.
'This is true masculinity,' another admirer wrote. 'This is so much more attractive than being angry about balding.'
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'I sincerely wish more straight men did this,' a female fan fawned, emphasizing her fondness with the heart-eyes emoji. 'I would not care at ALL if a man had a toupee.'
'Not when it gives so much confidence.'
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Buzz Feed
6 hours ago
- Buzz Feed
Make The Most Of Your Backyard With These 42 Items
An outdoor bug zapper so your arms and legs don't become a mosquito buffet this summer. It kicks in the second you plug it in and covers up to half an acre without sprays, smells, or concerned inquiries from your landlord. Trust me, your ankles will thank you. Or a Thermacell mosquito repellent if you want a peaceful backyard hang without the high-drama zapping soundtrack. This tiny but mighty device will create a 20-foot no-bug zone without a whiff of citronella or a single sticky spray. It's also rechargeable and cordless. A sleek three-piece rocking chair set so you can spend lazy days comfortably sitting on your porch for hours. It's summer, so you're probably spending more time outdoors than in, so it's essential to have a nice place to sit back and relax. Promising review: "This set is beautiful, good quality — especially for the price and so sleek and bold looking! I ordered this twice because I was so thrilled with the first set I ordered!" —Amazon Customer Get it from Amazon for $104.99. Or a wicker patio set that'll turn your outdoor space into a cozy little nook where you can sip your coffee and read an important piece of just zone out while doomscrolling TikTok. Promising review: "I love this loveseat ... when my cat is not hoarding it 😩 I spend so much time sitting longways on it, reading books. It's lightweight but sturdy — I weigh over 200 pounds and feel supported while stretched out on it. It was also super easy to assemble. I normally hire someone to assemble anything that comes in pieces, but I was able to tackle this alone in about 45 minutes." —Brittney-Elizabeth Williams Get it from Amazon for $110.49+ (available in three colors and 1-, 3-, or 5-piece sets). A wall-mounted outdoor fan to keep your patio breezy and comfortable, even during heat waves. It frees up floor space, angles exactly where you want it, and actually makes a difference when the sun's doing the most. Bonus points if it helps keep the bugs away, too. A flexible adjustable mister so you can feel like you're at a high-end resort when you're lounging around outside during a really hot day. Just hook it up to your hose and voilà! It's ready to go. Or a misting system if you want maximum misting in your outdoor space. This easy little setup connects to your garden hose and mists a fine spray that can cool the area by up to 20 degrees. Perfect for patios, play spaces, or wherever else you'd rather not melt. A two-burner griddle grill to make sure you have a delicious spread of food every time you host a meal al fresco. No need to hurry into the house to get to cooking — with this you can stay outside with your pals and enjoy what's going on. Promising review: "My whole family and I recently went to Miami for a quick vacation, and we had a barbecue, so I decided to order this grill for my house so I can cook on my back porch. One of the best things about this grill is that it's so easy to move — anyone can move it from one place to another. My wife and I assembled this, and it took us about 35–40 minutes to put together. It was so easy to assemble. I cannot wait to use this grill with my family and friends." —NPGet it from Amazon for $189.99. A western-inspired patio rug that looks like something you'd score at a desert flea market, but it's waterproof, reversible, and made from recycled plastic. The geometric pattern and swoon-worthy colors feel totally unexpected for an outdoor rug, and if it gets dirty, just hose it down and let it dry in the sun like the showoff it is. Fab Habitat is a small business that sells outdoor rugs and accessories made from recycled plastic. Promising review: "This is the third one of these rugs I have bought over the last 10 years. Not because they wear out, but because I am adding to the stock. I use them on a covered screen porch, and they look so nice and are so durable that they are in place even in the winter." —Ms Lin SewaneeGet it from Amazon for $45.74+ (available in 28 colors and 15 sizes). Or a woven patio rug to bring a Moroccan-esque look to your deck without overwhelming the space. This is a great get if you want something that's neutral but not boring. Promising review: "I'm so happy with this rug! I bought it to freshen up our patio space, and it instantly gave the area a clean, modern look with its light gray and black handwoven texture. The flat-weave construction feels durable yet soft underfoot — perfect for high-traffic areas. We've got kids and a dog, and this rug handles it all like a champ! Spills wipe up easily, and it doesn't trap dirt, which makes it super low-maintenance. I also appreciate that it's stain-resistant and doesn't fade in the sun. When it needs a deeper clean, I just hose it down with a little soap and water and hang it up to dry — so simple. Highly recommend for anyone looking for a practical yet stylish rug for either indoor or outdoor use!" —AlyssaGet it from Amazon for $37.01+ (available in 18 colors and 27 sizes). A tabletop firepit because you deserve to have some summer camp-like ambiance, minus the smoke. This compact tabletop firepit burns wood or pellets with barely any smoke, so you get the ambience of a campfire without smelling like one. Some bamboo wind chimes to bring some zen vibes to your outdoor space. When it moves, the bamboo produces deep, soothing tones that'll blend nicely with nature's soundtrack. No batteries, no wires, just peaceful background music you didn't have to find via a playlist. Promising review: "Was actually a little bigger than I expected to be for the price. Beautiful and well worth the money. Sounds beautiful." —Ashleigh Yates Get it from Amazon for $17.99+ (available in two sizes). Or a set of solar wind chimes for bringing a little glow and gentle sound to your outdoor space after dark. They charge during the day, then kicks on automatically at night with soft, color-changing light. Promising review: "Ok so I absolutely LOVE this! So much so, I have bought two more for gifts, lol. They shine wonderful amounts of light. The whole unit is lightweight. Hangs well and blows nicely in the wind. I could watch it for hours... and have. I see more orders in my future." —Fairy girl Get it from Amazon for $13.29+ (available in 16 shapes). A narrow wicker chair to give you all the cozy, cocoon-like vibes of an egg chair — without eating up half your patio. It's just as comfy and stylish as the oversized versions, but way better at fitting into tight spots. Promising review: "Loved this compact version of an egg chair. It it gorgeous and doesn't take up too much space on the patio. It was very easy to put together and the instructions were clear and simple to read. This chair is very sturdy and doesn't seem like it will unravel or break. The cushions are very plush and the covers unzip and can easily be cleaned in a washing machine. Overall, this purchase has been so worth it." —Evelyn Ndidi Get it from Amazon for $122.30+ (available with or without an ottoman). A fully insulated, aesthetically pleasing cooler that'll be the hit of any backyard bbq you host. With a 45-quart capacity, it can hold all your favorite bevvies — because no one likes running inside for refills. It's got a built-in bottle opener, a drainage spout for easy cleanup, and a lid you can pop open for quick grabs or shut tight to keep things frosty. A set of metal hanging flower pots to add a pop of color to your outdoor space. From herbs to colorful flowers, you can make a big visual impact with these, even though they don't take up much space. A quilted hammock with a detachable pillow so you can take a long nap in your own backyard. Each hammock can hold up to 450 pounds, so grab a loved one and get to snuggling. If you'd like, you can get the canopy or the stand shown included: One pillow, two chains, and two S-shaped review: "There is nothing more comfortable than being cradled and rocked in a hammock that is comfortable with its padded quilted canvas, built-in pillow, and the size built for two. The craftsmanship and anchors give you a secure feeling." — it from Amazon for $69.89+ (available in seven colors). A pack of garden lights to beautifully light up your outdoor space when nighttime hits. Use these for practical purposes like illuminating a walkway, or just spread them throughout the garden to create a whimsical environment that looks like something out of a Tolkien novel. They're solar-powered and automatically turn on at night!Promising review: "I love the solar flowers. Their colors are vibrant, rotating, and an asset to my patio. People stop by to comment on their nighttime beauty!" —Ruth LovelyGet a pack of four from Amazon for $26.99. Or a pack of solar-powered garden lights that'll turn your yard into a wind-powered light show. Because they're built with bendy stems and weighted bases, they don't just sit there — they put on a full performance every time the wind picks up. They charge during the day and glow at night, no plugs or switches required. An outdoor wooden double chaise lounge specifically designed for tiny tots, though folks have figured out they work great for dogs too. A fade-resistant outdoor umbrella so you can relax without worrying about harmful UV rays. (But remember to always wear sunscreen when your skin's exposed to the sun!) It's got a diameter of 7.5 feet, which can provide shade for a small table and three or four chairs. Note: The umbrella stand is not included, but this is a good one if you need one. Promising review: "This umbrella was perfect and met my needs. I live in a condo and needed a way to shade the balcony from the intense morning sun. This worked really well. The setup was easy. The crank works well ,and the tilt is easy to do." —DanielleGet it from Amazon for $39.99+ (available in 15 colors and patterns). A half umbrella that's perfect for small patios, balconies, or anywhere you're working with limited space. The flat back lets it sit flush against a wall while still offering a full nine feet of shade. This proves that compact doesn't have to mean compromising. Promising review: "I love it! It's perfect for my small apartment patio. A serious game changer. I leave it open all day, and my plants are doing well because of it! They don't get scorched anymore. It also provides the perfect coverage to allow me to relax outside in the shade." —Natalie Get it from Amazon for $40.99+ (available in seven colors). And a clip-on light for your umbrella, because sometimes a great day on your balcony turns into a great night, and you want to make sure you have the proper illumination. A hanging solar lantern that'll turn even a sliver of an outdoor space into an enchanting retreat. The warm LED glow casts mesmerizing patterns at night, all powered by an efficient solar panel that charges during the day (and illuminates for at least eight hours after dark). Plus, it's waterproof. A pack of waterproof playing cards to keep yourself occupied during those lazy days. No need to worry about drink spills or sudden rain. Just wipe down, and voila! They're like new. Promising review: "These playing cards are a HIT. I take them out with me for social events and when visiting people, even to the beach. We just play and play. So you can get them wet and they won't soggy up and tear it just become a little hard to shuffle. It is so cool that they look like you can see right straight through them but you can't." —TabithaGet them from Amazon for $5.99. A canopy swing that'll rock and swing *and* provide you with shade on extra sunny days. It's zero gravity, so you'll feel weightless when you're all tucked in. A roll of natural reed fencing to provide your outdoor space with some much-needed privacy without installing something permanent. Perfect for screening off your patio, balcony, or that spot where your neighbor's window looks directly onto your yard. Promising review: "I am very happy with this reed fencing. The lovely brown color and tight weave with the string is so much better than ones I've had in the past that were woven with wire, which look shabby and horrible. These are a wonderful quality for the price to make putting up large sections of fencing more affordable. They are not completely private, as people have mentioned, but that's not what I wanted. I wanted to be able to see through a little bit, but they work great to give some sense of separation and privacy." —Lauren it from Amazon for $56.99+ (available in five sizes and two colors). Or an artificial ivy privacy screen if you prefer something that'll add a little bit of greenery. Promising review: "This is a great product for any outdoor space. It provides extra privacy whilst adding beauty to my balcony. The leaves were all intact, and it was easy to install with the zip ties that came in the box. The fence has been stable, never falling down, nor loosening its grip. During rain, I've never experienced the leaves coming off/apart. If you're looking to spice up your outdoor area with faux greenery, this product is a great quality fence and highly recommend!" —C.C. Get it from Amazon for $69.99. A splash pad that'll turn your backyard into the neighborhood's unofficial waterpark. This thing is a hit with toddlers, big kids, and any adult brave enter to enter the splash zone. Just hook it up to your hose and adjust the nozzle to control the spray. It's that easy. Splash EZ is an award-winning small business that sells outdoor water toys for review: "This splash pad is the best money we've spent on our kiddos! They've used it every summer since we purchased it three years ago! The splash pad itself has held up really well for all the use it's gotten, too. Would absolutely recommend this to anyone with children that enjoy being outdoors!" —Andrew SrokaGet it from Amazon for $19.99+ (available in four designs). A dog/kiddie pool so the tiny tots and furry friends in your life can have a safe spot to splash, too. This folds up for easy storage when not in use and doesn't need to be inflated to work. An outdoor furniture set that includes a sofa, two chairs, and two ottomans because your backyard should be just as inviting and stylish as your living room. The sofa and chairs offer ample seating for guests, while the ottomans serve double duty as extra seating or a spot to kick up your feet. Promising review: "This patio furniture is great for the price. One of the better known brands would sell a set like this for about $2,500–$3,000. It took a long time to put together by myself, but it was well worth the effort. My sister is on the market for patio furniture and I recommended this set to her." —Ant Rico Get it from Amazon for $879.99. Some waterproof and shatterproof solar-powered outdoor string lights to turn your backyard into a whimsical nighttime oasis. Perfect for draping over trees, winding around railings, or highlighting the edges of your outdoor living space. Brightech is a small business in Los Angeles that sells indoor and outdoor lighting for the review (from February 2023): "I have had these lights up since the end of September 2022. They lit up right out of the box. They have been through a snowstorm, ice storm, and massive rain, and are still perfect. They are pretty easy to hang. They are shatterproof, which I love. —D KellyGet it from Brightech on Amazon for $34.99. A pack of 16 solar-powered outdoor lights that'll clip right onto your ledge if your home has a deck that gets pitch black at night. Warm nights spent in your backyard will be so much nicer when you have proper mood lighting. Promising review: "Developed a garden on the apartment patio, and wanted to add some lights along the railing to give it some character. These solar lights are not too bright and were easy to install. All the lights work, which is great. Better than I could have hoped for. 👍" —KMFGet it from Amazon for $25.49+ (available in two colors and also a set of 20). A colorful three-piece patio set if you're dealing with limited space but want a cozy place to enjoy your morning cup of joe or a meal al fresco. The bright color will create a nice focal point in an otherwise drab area of your outdoor space. Promising review: "This set was just what I needed to add a pop of color to my porch. It seems sturdy and tolerant of extreme weather conditions. My friends and neighbors love the bright yellow." —Judith J. Get it from Amazon for $109.99+ (available in five colors). Or a three-piece folding wood bistro set that comes with the cushions. This is such a timeless look; you can put this anywhere and it's sure to look amazing. Promising review: "I recently moved and have a small front patio. The rules of the complex are neutral as far as furniture is concerned. And so I spent forever looking for something that would fit the color scheme, plus be cute and comfortable. I am so so happy with this purchase. The table and chairs are not only a good size, but they are tall! I myself am almost 6 foot tall, and to not have to lean over with a patio set is really cool. The cushions are very comfortable, and the setup was extremely easy. Highly recommend." —Ashley kGet it from Amazon for $109.99+ (available in three colors). A waterproof outdoor curtain to either partition off space in your outdoor space or provide you with some privacy, like if your balcony looks directly onto someone else's balcony or something unsightly. A pair of outdoor Bluetooth speakers that'll double as flickering torch lanterns, because music is great, but music with ambiance is even better. They're waterproof (bring on those showers), sync together for surround sound, and given serious "cozy evening under the string lights" energy. Promising review: "I ordered waterproof speakers so I could sit outside, and I'm so glad I found these. They're perfect for what I needed because they are similar to tiki torch lights that are already planted. They give off a nice ambiance when sitting out back, and the sound is loud but not too loud to disturb neighbors. Bluetooth connection is easy. So far, so good, and I'm satisfied with my purchase." —applefirGet it from Amazon for $69.99. A hanging hammock chair, because sometimes you just need a main character moment and this is the chair that'll give it to you. An outdoor inflatable ottoman so you can kick your feet up after a long day. It's fade- and water-resistant, and deflates for easy storage when not in use. Just inflate the interior pouf and stick it inside the printed, water-resistant review: "Love these! Ordered two more. The fabric is very nice and sturdy especially for outdoors. The inflatable part appears to be good quality. How to: Place inflatable inside of cover before inflating it. Do not inflate to full capacity or it will look like an inflatable and will not rest in a nice flat position. Far nicer than I imagined. They look great flanking my outdoor rattan sectional." —Cali gGet it from Amazon for $36.99 (available in 18 fabric patterns). A gorgeous teak and powder-coated aluminum dining set that'll make you want to eat all your meals al fresco. The spaciousness means no one has to fight for elbow room, and the durable materials mean you won't be scrambling to cover it any time there's a chance of rain. I set this table up on my deck last summer, and let me tell you, my family practically lived at it. We ate at it every single day while the weather was nice, and even kept using it deep into winter — right up until frostbite became a real threat. The seats? Shockingly cushy. The table? Sleek, sturdy, and a breeze to clean. It's a total showstopper that somehow blends in beautifully with my deck and garden. I love hosting dinner parties, and am so looking forward to the upcoming spring and summer so I can serve meals outside on this again. Get it from NewAge for $2,429.99. A two-pack of solar-powered outdoor lantern lights to add just the right amount of illumination to your backyard. Because they don't require electricity, you can hang them and then not worry about maintenance. Promising review: "My goodness, I did not expect to love these lanterns as much as I do. They are very, very good quality and display lots of light. I hung both of them between my small patio and English garden, and they provided enough light for both areas. I received them late afternoon, so they got about four hours in the sun. At 9 p.m., both came on like clockwork. I got up at 3 a.m. to check if they were still on, and they were as bright as ever. They are so dang cute and unique in my yard. I will be buying more. Love, Love, Love them." —Dog TailorGet it from Amazon for $29.99+ (available in three styles). A set of giant wooden dice with a matching bucket that'll make your backyard feel like summer camp, minus the bug bites. You get six jumbo dice, a wooden bucket, and scorecards for games like Yardzee and Farkle — basically everything you need to entertain friends, kids, or very competitive grandparents.
Buzz Feed
a day ago
- Buzz Feed
Viral Carrot Salad (TikTok) — Review & Recipe
Every week, without fail, I buy a five-pound bag of organic carrots. Even if we have barely made a dent in the previous week's carrots, I click 'add to cart' like it's my job. Ok, maybe it is kind of my job as a dietitian and a recipe developer, but you get it! While I serve salads every night with dinner, I often look for lettuce-free salads that don't wilt, are even better the next day (because no one wants limp lettuce for leftovers!), and use up what I have in the fridge. That's why I was so excited to stumble across Cassie Yeung's viral carrot salad on TikTok. With over 19.9 million views, I knew I had to try it. This salad is similar to Korean Carrot Salad, or Morkovcha, thought to have come about when Koreans in the Soviet Union couldn't find ingredients to make their traditional dishes, like kimchi. Instead, they used what they could find to make a carrot salad that was vinegary, based on Korean banchan — small dishes typically served with rice. Since Cassie's video first went viral earlier this year, many have made their own versions of this dish: some using maple syrup and fish sauce, others with added honey and lime. Even Cassie made a different version using raw red onions, dill, garlic, red wine vinegar, olive oil, lemon, and Calabrian chili. It reminds me of a carrot salad I often make with grated carrots, Dijon mustard, red wine vinegar, honey, parsley, and sunflower seeds. Many other influencers have tried their hand, from Basic with Bails, and Baked by Melissa, Kale Junkie, and publishers from Eating Well and Real Simple; each adding their own spin to the dish — and they all love it. Hey, you! Wanna cook thousands of easy recipes on your phone in step-by-step mode — with helpful video tutorials? Download the free Tasty app right now. For the purposes of this post, I followed Cassie's original recipe. She starts by using a vegetable peeler to thinly shave the carrots into ribbons. While she doesn't give exact measurements, I spied around eight or nine carrots, so I tried to do the same. Spoiler, I had only seven carrots left. While using the peeler is easy, I always find a way to cut myself when using it in a hurry, so I took my time with these carrots. I cut vegetables all day long, but I always manage to hurt myself using a peeler, go figure! I ended up with these funky-shaped carrots. Not sure how to add them, I snacked on a couple, and threw the rest into the freezer to make into vegetable stock later. And then my dog begged for one, proceeded to take it onto the couch, and stain the couch. A problem for another day! I added a couple of roughly chopped green onions along with sesame seeds. I only have black sesame seeds, so feeling fancy, I threw a tablespoon of those in as well. Finally, I grated a clove of garlic (I spy my favorite kitchen tool, the zester/microplane!). Let this be your sign to a) buy a zester, and b) stop using jarred minced garlic. If I had fresh ginger, that would be a delicious addition as well. Cassie's dressing is simple, albeit measured with her heart. It's simply sesame oil, soy sauce, rice vinegar, and chili crisp, which you gently massage into the carrot ribbons. She was smart to use a glove, because my hands might smell like sesame oil for the next week. I added a healthy amount of chili crisp on top. I've recently lost my ability to eat spicy food, so I went for a mild chili crisp for a little added flavor and crunch. At this point, it kind of looks like my 'carrot lox' I make. In Cassie's video, she claims that she's eating her skincare, as carrots are good for hormonal health. Judging by her beautiful, dewy glow, I'd buy just about any skin care she was selling. Carrots are indeed good for overall health, including skin health. They are full of nutrients like beta-carotene (which converts to Vitamin A). Beta-carotene can help the skin prevent damage from UV radiation and free radicals. They are also a good source of vitamins C and E. While any vegetables are going to be beneficial to your health, I'd still lather up with your favorite sunscreen — don't just rely on those carrots! She eats hers right out of the bowl with chopsticks, and never wanting to add a dirty dish to the pile, I did the same. This was a part of my lunch, so I also added some baked tofu on top for added protein. Cassie's friends apparently laugh at her for craving vegetables, but if all carrots tasted like this… I would, too! This might be my new favorite way to use up those leftover carrots. I might add cucumber ribbons to my salad next time, along with some mint or cilantro and a sliced avocado to make it more filling. All in all, this is going to be on my vegetable rotation! Would you try this recipe at home? Let us know in the comments — and download the free Tasty app for iOS and Android to cook thousands of easy dinner recipes right on your phone (no subscription required!).
Time Magazine
a day ago
- Time Magazine
When the Group Chat Becomes the Friendship Group
A couple of weeks ago, my friend wrote a message in our group chat, announcing that he's moving to Newcastle—somewhere I love but rarely go. The initial flicker of excitement to visit the North East of England again was quickly countered by a pang of sadness. We barely see each other now, in London, so what's going to change when he's 300 miles away? Around the same time, in a different group, my friend who already lives in Islamabad shared news of a new job. Another posted pictures of his one-year-old son, who I still haven't met. Moments like these remind me that life keeps moving forward, even when we're not around to witness it. I talk to my closest friends every day. It's not always direct. Sometimes, it's just reading their messages, reacting with an emoji, or book-ending a meme bonanza with 'haha.' But it is every day. Group chats—I've got three what I'd call 'core' collections of friends—feel alive. They're like hallways we all pass through, but we hardly ever hang out. The late nights playing video games, watching films, or musing which carnivores we could possibly beat in a fight, have been replaced by jobs, families, and lots of other adult responsibilities. The ease of friendship—that unthinking, ambient closeness you only get when you're young, broke, and within walking distance of each other—dilutes as you grow up. Now, any get-together must be booked weeks or even months in advance. And there's usually one dropout. Could we do mid-to-late September? How's your 2026 looking? The logistical overheads of adult life mean that even the people I feel closest to exist mostly as bubbles on a screen. Read More: How to Make Friends As an Adult—At Every Life Stage We like to tell ourselves that the group chat is a lifeline—that it keeps people loosely tethered as geography and circumstance try to cut the cord. You can drop in, send a birthday message, share a Facebook memory (if you still have Facebook), or photo dump at semi-regular intervals to create the illusion of presence. It looks like friendship, when really, it's thinner. But because it's the default now, we don't admit the group chat has its flaws. One may be that it isn't a substitute for in-person connections, especially at a time when loneliness has been declared a 'global public health concern'. Another is that group chats can feel draining. In one study of 1,000 American adults, 66% of respondents said they felt overwhelmed by their messages, while 42% said that keeping up with them can feel like a part-time job. It's also true that not everyone uses a group chat in the same way. For some, WhatsApp is just a glorified calendar. For others, it's a therapist's couch. Some people only speak in memes and reels. Some will never say anything but randomly 'like' a comment from a month ago. So it's hard, maybe impossible, to create a group chat that can meet everyone's emotional needs. Yet we keep expecting it to. We rely on it like a Swiss Army knife for adult friendship: an all-in-one tool for intimacy, vulnerability, humour and support. There are also some things which are simply too hard to say in a group chat. A redundancy, a break-up, or a bereavement are not easy to drop in. None of this is to necessarily disparage technology. Group chats can be fun and useful. They're just not enough on their own. True friendships ask us to be there for each other in ways that aren't always convenient; to say things that don't come with a reaction button; to risk showing up, even if we feel out of sync. It's hard. My own WhatsApp behavior is not perfect. I've missed important moments. I've left messages sitting unread for days because I was too tired, too busy, or just didn't know what to say. And I've felt that same sting from others. It's not too late to recalibrate, though. A group chat can be just one part of friendships. Bring back one-on-one phone calls. Don't let meet-ups become memories. Carve out time, as much as you can, to see friends. Just do it and to hell with the cost of a train or plane ticket. The people I love most still live in my phone. But I'm trying—perhaps imperfectly and clumsily—to invite them out of it now and then, to move beyond the placeholder. We need to remember that friendship, like any living thing, needs air and attention.
