Revealed: The 3 nicknames that mean your relationship is doomed to fail - so, are YOU guilty of using them?
But three nicknames could mean your relationship is doomed to fail, an expert has warned.
While some monikers convey warmth, reassurance and affection, others can act as 'emotional wallpaper'.
Dr Mark Travers, an American psychologist with degrees from Cornell University and the University of Colorado Boulder, has revealed the names that should be ringing alarm bells.
BABY/BABE
'Being called "baby" or "babe" early on in a relationship can feel comforting, but that sense of warmth can be misleading,' he wrote on Psychology Today.
He warned pet names like this can simulate intimacy before it's truly earned.
'Affectionate language triggers oxytocin, the brain's bonding hormone, which makes us feel emotionally close even in the absence of trust or consistency. You may start to feel attached to someone who's never actually shown you their emotional world,' he said.
SWEETHEART
The nickname 'sweetheart' could also be used as a way to dismiss your worries rather than dealing with them, he explained.
'Instead of engaging with your concerns, a partner might respond with: "You overthink everything, sweetheart. Don't worry that pretty head of yours,"' he said.
'These responses may sound affectionate, but they can make you feel like you're overreacting for even bringing something up.
'Essentially, they minimize your emotions and shift the focus away from the issue at hand.'
This is a form of 'emotional infantilisation', he added – treating you as if you're too irrational or too fragile to be taken seriously.
Previous studies have found that this kind of infantilisation – especially in conjunction with affectionate language – was the strongest predictor of negative mental health outcomes.
He suggested asking yourself if nicknames show up most when you express discomfort or your needs – or if affection is being used to avoid real emotional work.
ANGEL
Pet names can sometimes be used to deflect the real issue rather than resolve it, Dr Travers said.
'After a conflict, instead of addressing the issue, there might be a flood of endearments,' he said.
For example, 'Angel, don't be mad'.
'These words may sound sweet, but they often act as emotional distractions, soothing the partner's discomfort rather than engaging with real underlying problems,' he explained.
'This is also called emotional appeasement—using affection to avoid emotional responsibility.'
He warned that while pet names may provide temporary emotional relief, they can 'sidestep the deeper work required to build genuine intimacy'.
However, he added: 'Not all pet names are manipulative.
'In fact, in emotionally healthy relationships, they often reflect genuine affection and tenderness and can even help de-escalate tension.
'The key difference lies in intention and timing.'
WHEN YOU SHOULD BREAK UP WITH YOUR PARTNER
Kale Monk, assistant professor of human development and family science at University of Missouri says on-off relationships are associated with higher rates of abuse, poorer communication and lower levels of commitment.
People in these kinds of relationships should make informed decisions about either staying together once and for all or terminating their relationship.
Here are his top five tips to work out whether it's the right time to end your relationship –
1. When considering rekindling a relationship that ended or avoiding future breakups, partners should think about the reasons they broke up to determine if there are consistent or persistent issues impacting the relationship.
2. Having explicit conversations about issues that have led to break ups can be helpful, especially if the issues will likely reoccur. If there was ever violence in the relationship, however, or if having a conversation about relationship issues can lead to safety concerns, consider seeking support-services when it is safe to do so.
3. Similar to thinking about the reasons the relationship ended, spend time thinking about the reasons why reconciliation might be an option. Is the reason rooted in commitment and positive feelings, or more about obligations and convenience? The latter reasons are more likely to lead down a path of continual distress.
4. Remember that it is okay to end a toxic relationship. For example, if your relationship is beyond repair, do not feel guilty leaving for your mental or physical well-being.
5. Couples therapy or relationship counselling is not just for partners on the brink of divorce. Even happy dating and married couples can benefit from 'relationship check-ups' in order to strengthen the connection between partners and have additional support in approaching relationship transitions.
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