NJ dateless wonders whine they can't land love — because New Yorkers are stuck up about traveling there: ‘Five subway stop limit'
Frustrated with his local dating scene, one New Jerseyan took to Reddit to discuss his dating difficulties.
He explained that a majority of his matches on dating apps come from women based in the boroughs of NYC, and he suspects that often, women reject him because of his location.
Advertisement
'Once they find out I'm in Jersey, a lot of them just lose interest,' he bemoaned. 'Some even say it straight up: 'Oh, you're in Jersey?' Like I live in a different country or something.'
The Redditor said he's based in North Caldwell, N.J., and has a car, so he's willing to drive the 20 or so miles or meet potential paramours halfway — if they're willing.
The trouble is, they're usually not.
Advertisement
4 'I should be able to take a cheap relatively quick Uber home if not ideally an extremely simple and short subway ride,' one New Yorker wrote.
Christopher Sadowski
Jessica, a 24-year-old living in Crown Heights, told The Post that she routinely swipes left on New Jerseyans she encounters on the apps. 'It's just too far,' she says.
And she's not alone. Hundreds of women chimed in under the Reddit post, looking to give the daydreaming dater a much-needed reality check about the actuality of the NYC dating scene.
Advertisement
'People barely want to travel neighborhoods for a relationship, let alone to another state,' one commenter said.
'No one wants a 'long-distance' relationship, especially when there are so many eligible people a subway ride or walk away,' agreed another.
'When I first moved to New York, I lived in Washington Heights,' shared another still-traumatized single.
'I made the mistake of going on one date in Bay Ridge. Never again. The subway trip back took me longer than the drive between Baltimore and Philadelphia. From that moment forward, I held a 5 subway stops limit for dates.'
Advertisement
4 The original poster said he lives in North Caldwell, near Montclair, which can be an hour drive one-way to or from Manhattan on a good day.
ungvar – stock.adobe.com
'I'm not going to NJ. It's not an 'ew, Jersey' thing, it's a logistics thing,' one woman said.
Countless commenters also added that for many women, trekking out to New Jersey means taking public transportation, which can sometimes be dangerous or emotionally draining.
While some New Jerseyans like this romantically-ruined Redditor face what he called 'geo-filtering,' AKA women rejecting too-remote matches, others find a way to win out and meet their dates in the middle — but make no mistake, they're still guarded about dating New Yorkers.
The Post has reached out to the original Redditor for comment.
Vinayak, a 24-year-old from Paramus who's currently dating a New Yorker, told The Post that initially, he was cautious, simply because of the time, cost and effort associated with traveling to the city.
'Dating in New York worried me at first because there's a huge time cost when it comes to dating in and around NYC, specifically from Jersey. I also feel like people in New York are more judgmental, and knowing that, I was a little more wary,' he said.
Advertisement
'The time commitment to dating in New York has definitely stopped me from seeing other people on Hinge before.'
4 Many New Yorkers are even ditching dating one another online, citing chronic app fatigue as the culprit.
AFP via Getty Images
The New Jerseyan added that when he was first dating his current girlfriend, who was living in Yonkers at the time, they often met in the middle in Manhattan at first, so they each faced the hour-ish commute — pick your poison, Metro North trains or Port Authority-bound buses?
'Crossing the Hudson just sucks. I always did it for the right person, but I understand if someone would prefer to look in their more immediate vicinity,' vouched a Jersey girl, who also lamented the pricy, unpredictable nature of trains, buses and George Washington Bridge traffic.
Advertisement
4 The Redditor said that he's tried pursuing more local women, but often, they don't share the same values he does, which is why he looks to New York ladies instead.
Kaspars Grinvalds – stock.adobe.com
'Unfortunately I think Jersey has the same reputation as a green text coming from an Android phone. Nothing wrong with it, commute could sometimes be FASTER from parts of NJ than other parts of NYC, but it's just got a shadow over it that can't be shaken,' wrote one wise commenter.
'I don't think the problem is always the mileage. It's the mindset.' the lovelorn New Jerseyan said, simultaneously standing up for all of the snubbed Staten Island and Long Island men out there.
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Eater
12 hours ago
- Eater
Visit Newcomer Peregrine for Bengali Chicken, Stay for the Red Bull Dessert
is an editor of Eater's South region, covering Atlanta, Nashville, Miami, New Orleans, and the Carolinas. She has been writing about the food scene in the Carolinas and Savannah for 12 years. Erin has resided in Charleston, South Carolina, for the past 20 years. Welcome to the first installment of Scene Report in the Carolinas, a new column in which Eater captures the vibe of a notable North or South Carolina restaurants at a specific moment in time. To describe Raleigh newcomer Peregrine as 'Southeast Asian' cuisine is too narrow, and to say 'global' is a bit broad (really, can any one restaurant represent the entire world?). Peregrine is chef Saif Rahman's life on a menu. He was born in Bangladesh, lived in Queens, married a woman from Mexico, and now lives in North Carolina. All of these cultures combine to make Peregrine, along with a handsome setting, thanks to co-owner Patrick Shanahan. The vibe: Peregrine is located in the new mixed-use development the Exchange, but the sleek interiors and verdant surroundings do a good job of erasing the memory of a 20-minute Uber from downtown Raleigh, past several strip malls, and wondering if the driver is lost. (Note: This writer worked in Raleigh in the early aughts and doesn't remember anywhere being referred to as 'Midtown.') Inside are grand arches, Roman clay walls, Moroccan lime plaster, large pots of greenery, and recessed lighting to set the scene (Shanahan is a filmmaker after all). The soundtrack is bouncy with house and disco music. The other diners are mostly couples on a date night and young professional friends out for a fancy evening. Chicken skins and bubbles. Tim Waldron What to drink: The Tokyo Highball is a refreshing start to the evening with a punch of lemon and ginger to even out the burn from the Japanese whisky. The sommelier/maitre d', Amy Ostrout, makes great recommendations. Follow whatever she tells you. The Nero d'Avola sparkling rosé ($16) is an artful pairing with the berbere-seasoned chicken skins with chicken fat aioli ($15). On the menu: If you've been following Peregrine, you've probably seen the Bengali wedding chicken ($42) all over Instagram with its menacing claw hanging off the plate — order it. If you're squeamish, ask your date to break down the half chicken, and then have a good think about where your meat really comes from. The 'yummy sauce' (their words, not ours) is indeed 'yummy' with soft notes of baking spices and richness that elevate the humble bird. The tallow-roasted carrots ($15) are a vegetarian's nightmare because the humble root vegetable is confited in beef fat. The salsa matcha (with chapulines) topping the dish is an homage to Rahman's wife's Mexican heritage. This bite will have you question: Is this really a carrot? Don't skip dessert. Pastry chef Khoi Trong Ha puts out some really fun sweets, including a truffle inspired by the gas station Sheetz — spoiler alert, it's filled with Red Bull. Go here for: An unexpected meal in an unexpected place, even if you have to tell your Uber driver, 'Yes, I'm sure this is where I'm supposed to be going.'
Yahoo
15 hours ago
- Yahoo
Norwegian Cruise Line pops, Lam Research slips, Reddit earnings
Here are some of the stories Wall Street is watching on Thursday, July 31. Shares of Norwegian Cruise Line (NCLH) are popping on sales growth and upbeat comments about bookings Lam Research (LRCX) is falling on concerns about demand from China. Reddit (RDDT) shares are jumping ahead of its Q2 report, set to be released after the market close. Stay up to date on the latest market action, minute-by-minute, with Yahoo Finance's Market Minute. It's time for Yahoo! Finance's Market Minute. Norwegian Cruise Line shares pop after the company highlights a rebound in demand, Norwegian reporting sales growth of 6% and adjusted EBITDA topping analyst expectations. The cruise line noting that bookings are now ahead of historical levels in recent months, and sees continued strength in onboard spend. Lam Research shares declining despite reporting better-than-expected earnings. However, analysts noting that China demand remains uncertain for the chip equipment maker. Jeffries noting that spending from Chinese customers is expected to normalize in December. And Reddit shares jumping in today's trade as the company gears up to report second quarter earnings after the bell. Wall Street pointing to worries tied to the social media platform, analysts raising concerns on how changes to Google search's algorithm could now affect daily active users, as that has already fallen below expectations in the US in the past two quarters. And that's your Yahoo! Finance Market Minute. For more of what's trending, scan the QR code below.
New York Post
a day ago
- New York Post
Sick cruise ship passenger furious after getting hit with shocking bill: ‘What is this nightmare?'
They got more than they asked for. There's nothing worse than getting sick on vacation — especially if your getaway is out at sea. A frustrated traveler took to Reddit to share not only how bad their recent experience was getting ill on a Norwegian cruise ship — but also how expensive it was. Advertisement In the r/mildlyinfuriating subreddit, the disgruntled cruise ship passenger warned, 'Don't get sick on a cruise ship' above a picture of a lengthy, itemized medical bill. This traveler left his vacation poorer and sicker. The original poster came off that cruise with a tan and a $9,750.86 bill. Advertisement If you look closely, it seems that 21 different tests were performed on the OP, which totaled around $8,761 — and then an additional $618.59 on medications and $380.27 on supplies. Yikes. It's unknown what exactly this cruise-goer came down with — but it obviously was bad. Many empathetic Reddit users took to the comment section of the post to share similar sickly experiences. Advertisement 'My neighbor had to be airlifted off a cruise ship the other year. Fortunately she is a 'veteran cruiser' and carries enough insurance to mitigate the diabolical costs. Sorry you have to absorb this, OP.' 'Over $100 to slap a fingertip pulse ox sensor on you?? What is this nightmare?' There was nothing relaxing about this cruise ship vacation. 'I love the new patient charge, where every patient is a new patient.' Advertisement To avoid getting slapped with a wildly expensive bill like this poor soul — there are a few precautions you can take to avoid getting sick before boarding your next cruise vacation. Use hand sanitizer and wash your hands thoroughly. 'Infectious diseases spread quickly on cruise ships because a lot of people share the same space day and night for an extended amount of time in relatively close contact,' Dr. Shalom Sokolow, an emergency medicine physician at Northwell's Phelps Hospital, told The Post. 'Always wash your hands after you have been in contact with other people and before you eat,' Sokolow said. While it's tempting to pig out on the buffet — Dr. Eric Ascher, a family medicine physician at Northwell's Lenox Hill Hospital, explained how it's 'also an easy way for the norovirus to spread because of all the shared utensils.' Sokolow agreed, adding, 'Plentiful and fun food is among the main appeals of a cruise and there is no reason to miss out.' 'However, there are a few basic steps to protect yourself from getting sick.'
