Just what he didn't need: to be insulted by passing traffic
Rhona tells the Diary: 'My best friend was suitably impressed when I told her I was going… until she discovered that I would be one of 800 guests.'
'Oh,' said the chum, struggling to hide her disappointment. 'I thought it would just be you and the King, plus a slice of sponge cake.'
Fake Frenchman
Well-travelled Aberdonian Tony Marshall has lived in many of the great cities of the world, and is currently based in London, which isn't too far from Scotia.
Even so, he finds that the locals of that great city don't know much about his home country.
'You're from Scotland?' one of his work colleagues said, 'so you must be well knowledgeable in everything garlic.'
'Garlic?' said Tony, who could only imagine that the colleague mistook him for a sophisticated Parisian, for the French nation is famous for using garlic to season their flavoursome scoff.
'Yes, yes,' continued the colleague. 'Garlic. Do you speak garlic?'
The chap was talking about Gaelic, which is a language, of course, and one that is seldom used in the preparation of frogs legs.
Flight of fancy
Confused Martin Simpson asks: 'Why are so many new TV shows about pilots?'
No can do
Nostalgic reader Linda Mumford was telling her seven-year-old grandson about the games she played with her pals as a young child.
At one point she mentioned how much she loved a popular pastime of the era called Kick the Can.
'Kick the can?' repeated her outraged grandson, before adding: 'What did the can ever do to you?'
Cutting comment
Deciding to smarten up his appearance, reader Dan Buckley took himself to the local barbers.
On returning home his wife scrutinised him, then suspiciously said: 'You had a haircut?'
Dan conceded that this was, indeed, the case, leading his wife to say: 'Very… um… very n… very neat.'
This was not the response Dan was looking for.
'When she got to the letter 'n',' he tells us, 'I was sort of hoping it would be followed by '…ice', as in 'nice'. Alas, this was not to be.'
Brought to book
Bibliophile Doreen Williams told a Waterstone's assistant she wanted Hugh Laurie's autobiography.
"Certainly,' he replied. 'Would you like Fry's with that?'
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The Herald Scotland
4 hours ago
- The Herald Scotland
EIF bosses clash with city council over event permits
Organisers said they were "disappointed" at the outcome but hoped an upcoming review of licensing charges by the authority would bring costs down in future. City of [[Edinburgh]] Council's fee structure for public entertainment licences (PELs) - permits for events open to the [[pub]]lic required to ensure safety and compliance with regulations - provides discounts for some some groups including charities. However the council says this is not applied "where there is clear commercial activity". On Monday, less than two weeks before the start of the Edinburgh International Festival (EIF), councillors considered an application by the EIF Society, which is a registered charity, seeking a partial refund of licensing costs for events at the University of Edinburgh's Old College Quad and Ross Bandstand in Princes Street Gardens. Read more The value of the discount sought was not made public, however PELs range from £1,454 for a venue with capacity of up to 200, to £5,808 for a capacity of up to 10,000. Lebanese-French dance company Maqamat are due to perform at the Old College Quad over four nights in August with tickets priced at £30. The Ross Bandstand will host a free 'big singalong' event featuring Dougie Maclean on August 3 to mark the start of festival season in Edinburgh, followed by Norwegian folk ensemble Barokksolistene alongside Scottish musician Donald Shaw and his ceilidh band the following night, costing £20 a head. Council reports by head of regulatory services, Andrew Mitchell, said these were ticketed events and the licensing department "understands that any monies raised will go back to the Society". He said charges for licence applications "are used to offset the significant costs which are incurred in dealing with licensing issues in the city". However a spokesperson for EIF said events at the Ross Bandstand and Edinburgh College Quad were not being run on a commercial basis "and will not generate a profit". They said: "They are deliberately programmed to engage a broader audience, with an average ticket price of just £25, and thousands of people will attend events in Princes Street Gardens completely free of charge. "As a registered charity, we operate on a not-for-profit basis and subsidise these events significantly to ensure wide public benefit. "Any reduction risks setting a precedent. However, the committee has the discretion to waive fees where it considers this appropriate." Councillors on the licensing sub-committee unanimously refused the fee reduction on the advice of officers. An International Festival spokesperson said: 'We're disappointed by the decision of the Licensing Sub-Committee. "We understand the basis for licensing charges will be reviewed at the upcoming Culture and Communities Committee meeting and we look forward to that discussion.' More from our Edinburgh correspondent It follows a decision by councillors last month to turn down a similar request by the Edinburgh Festival Fringe Society, also a charity, for a discount on its £18,163 PEL bill for fringe performances on the Mound Precinct and High Street. Officials said in a report published last month the Fringe Society was yet to pay its licensing fees and the council was "processing these applications without payment". They added: "This is not normal practice - irrespective of any request to reduce a fee, payment must be made at the time of application." They said the Society has paid commercial licensing application rates since at least 2012 and discounts "operates commercial arrangements whereby it allows other businesses to sell goods from stalls within the licensed footprint. "It is the understanding of the Directorate that these arrangements are strictly commercial."
The Herald Scotland
6 hours ago
- The Herald Scotland
For Women Scotland: 'Irresponsible for EIF to promote choking show'
They told The Herald: "The last thing we need is a respected international festival endorsing it." However the International Festival said the work "does not explore violence against women" but rather a "deeply personal reflection on the artist's own experiences of consent and sexuality". The Dan Daw Show is due to be performed across three nights at The Lyceum theatre next month as part of the Edinburgh International Festival and is billed as a fuse of "sexy choreography and touching theatricality" to "take a stand against ableism". The festival's programme says it sees the Australian dancer "turn the spotlight inward, to find his own truth through a subject that holds the power to both challenge and liberate: kink". Content guidance for the show adds: "During some of the physical interaction between Dan and [collaborator] KrisX, KrisX puts a hand around Dan's neck as if choking him. Dan is placed into a latex vacuum cube, that is tight around his neck." Read more Posting online For Women Scotland, the campaign group which successfully took the Scottish Government to court over the legal definition of a woman, said: "It is absolutely disgusting that [EIF] is promoting a 'performance' which features the dangerous practice of 'choking'. "It should NEVER be entertainment! We really think this show should be pulled as a matter of urgency." Speaking to The Herald, the group added: "It is recklessly irresponsible for the Edinburgh Festival to promote dangerous and abusive acts in the name of art. "Organisations tackling violence against women have been warning about choking in particular, and the outcomes which can include brain damage and fatalities. "Sadly, this practice is widespread among younger generations and the last thing we need is a respected international festival endorsing it." The annual arts festival which runs for three weeks in August receives public funding from the [[Scottish Government]] and [[Edinburgh]] Council. It bills itself as featuring "the best artists from opera, music, theatre and dance on the world's greatest stage". Last year Beira's Place, the Edinburgh-based women's protection charity funded by J.K. Rowling, warned sexual choking was "becoming very normalised" among teenagers who increasingly saw it as a routine sexual act. It said a growing number of young women were turning to its counselling services after experiencing unwanted choking during sex. Rape Crisis Scotland similarly warned strangulation was often raised by pupils in consent and pornography workshops in schools. A spokesperson for the International Festival said: "We take the safety of artists and audiences very seriously. The detailed content descriptions for this performance are provided as guidance for those audience members who seek more information in order to make informed decisions, to feel safe and prepared. "This work does not explore violence against women. Instead, it is a deeply personal reflection on the artist's own experiences of consent and sexuality. "We encourage audiences to contact us directly if they would like to discuss the performance further." Dan Daw was approached for a response.
Daily Mirror
15 hours ago
- Daily Mirror
Antiques Roadshow guests admit life-altering value of artwork doesn't 'change anything'
An Antiques Roadshow expert was on hand to give owners a "special" appraisal of two paintings but the couple barely reactd to the news. WARNING: This article contains spoilers from Antiques Roadshow. Antiques Roadshow guests candidly told an expert that the whopping sum for two paintings didn't "change anything" for them. Antiques Roadshow 's expert Charlotte Riordan was filming at the Royal Botanic Garden in Edinburgh when she was shown two simple yet striking paintings by Kim Tschang-yeul. The BBC expert began: "So I know that most of our production team has been praying that raindrops stay away today but I was delighted to see these two paintings of droplets of water. "So thank you very much for bringing them. Can you tell me how you came by the paintings?" The owner revealed: "My brother-in-law is French and his first cousin was married to Kim, the artist. We met them when we were first married back in 1974. "My sister said, 'You really want to see his paintings. They're pretty special.' I think we probably had no money at the time but we bought two because we loved them." Riordan then shared extensive background details about the artist, explaining: "Kim Tschang-yeul is Korean originally and was from unified Korea, as it was at the time. "In the north was where he was born. Sadly, he had to flee Korea during the Communist regime taking hold. "He actually served in the military during the Korean War. Went to New York and then eventually settled in Paris which is where he began painting his raindrops." She did point out there was a "little bit of water damage" to one of the canvases but shared that it was actually a wet canvas in his studio which inspired him to paint droplets. Riordan went on to comment: "I believe that's also not uncommon for the school of Korean artists that he came from. "A lot of them went in for this kind of very repetitious, obsessive kind of mark making, and it's seen as being a kind of result of the trauma of the war that they experienced, that this was a therapy. "This was something they used to get out of themselves, to erase traumatic memories. As we can see, the works are both signed and dated. We think 1974 in both cases which is just a couple of years after he discovered the raindrop. "So already by this stage, he was a complete virtuoso at creating this amazing three-dimensional effect." Tschang-yuel primarily created his art using oils on "Hessian-like canvases" alongside wood and sand which he had stuck to one of the two paintings to produce a "sharp relief". Riordan then delivered some tragic news, revealing that Tschang-yuel had passed away earlier that year at the age of 91. She remarked: "He had Parkinson's and was having to hold his hands steady by the end to paint these drops that he never stopped painting. "He's a very, very well-regarded artist in Korea, he's considered one of their pre-eminent artists and his career has thrived in America and France as well." When asked about the original cost of the paintings, the wife revealed: "We've talked about it and I can't imagine we paid more than £150 each at the time." The couple were in for a shock when the expert began her appraisal, stating: "This is exactly the kind of period that gets people particularly excited about his work." She then dropped the bombshell: "And I can say that individually, possibly the piece with the sand would be worth a bit more but they're probably worth at auction around £80,000 to £120,000 each in the current market. "Potentially even more for the sand piece," she added. The woman was visibly taken aback, exclaiming: "Wow." Her husband, grinning, confessed: "We actually thought you was going to say £2,000. "Nope. Bit more than that", Riordan responded, adding: "I'm so delighted to see them and it's been really special having this conversation with you." Despite the staggering valuation, the owner insisted that the value wouldn't change their feelings towards the paintings. "I love them and that's why we have them and the value doesn't actually change anything," the owner mused. "The only problem is that we have four children and I'm not sure we can cut them in half."
