Can We Talk?: Families open up about managing mental health
Don't miss out on the headlines from Family Health. Followed categories will be added to My News.
It's a rare sight in modern families. Three generations of Emma Styles' family live under one roof and gather for dinner – device-free – most nights of the week.
The mother-of-two says open communication across the generations is a priority in their home, and they use meal times as an important way to check in.
Mrs Styles, 47, her husband Matt and their teenage daughters moved in with her parents in 2023 after her father Martin was diagnosed with dementia.
'It's very important to talk openly about what's going on, otherwise things can get to a point where they can't easily be remedied,' she said.
'We sit down for dinner and use the rose, bud, thorn exercise, where we all share what was good about our day, what didn't go our way, and what we are looking forward to tomorrow.'
She said she has always been able to confide in her mum, Barbara Deacy, 72, and her dad, who recently passed away.
And she has always encouraged her daughters, Suraya, 15, and Kenya, 18, to open up to her too.
Emma Styles with her daughters Suraya (15) and Kenya (17). Picture: Tim Joy
'Mum's health isn't the best now, but she's always been there for me when I've had mental health issues or relationship breakdowns,' she said.
'And she comes to me now with anything that's going on, big or small.
'My parents have always been a big support. I always want Suraya and Kenya to know they can come to me with anything awful that happens, and keep those communication lines open.'
But she sets boundaries around what she shares about her life with her daughters, and avoids talking about finances or her own mental health as she doesn't want to be a 'burden'.
Kenya, 18, said she felt comfortable talking to her parents about personal issues, from relationships to bullying and peer pressure.
'Mum will always listen and console me if I need it, and acknowledge that I have a problem,' she said.
'Depending on the situation, she will validate my feelings or tell me how to move on and what to do next.'
She said the stress of Year 12, including schoolwork, bullying issues and a break-up, would have been even harder without her parents' support.
'My grades would have plummeted, and I probably would have ended up almost dropping out of school,' she said.
Her sister Suraya, 15, turned to her mum and online therapists when struggling with issues including fitting in with peers and social media dynamics.
'WhatsApp and friend groups and chats can cause some stress, and I'll go to mum because she gets it,' she said.
But both teens said it was harder to be open with their grandma, even before her health began deteriorating.
'I can't imagine talking to my grandma about serious stuff like my friends or ex-boyfriend… I don't think she'd understand what I'm going through,' said Kenya.
'I think it's a generational barrier. She's had different life experiences to me, and communication is different because she grew up without social media.'
She said it would be helpful if older generations listened more to young people and showed 'a willingness to be in a vulnerable state with you'.
Can We Talk? is a News Corp awareness campaign, in partnership with Medibank, helping Australian families better tackle mental wellbeing. To follow the series and access all stories, tips and advice, visit our new Health section.
Originally published as Can We Talk?: Families open up about managing mental health
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
News.com.au
15 hours ago
- News.com.au
Itching, swelling and burning after sex may be signs of a common allergy
Itchy genitalia, a burning sensation, and feeling breathless are all considered normal after sex. But for a growing number of women, these symptoms could be a sign of seminal plasma hypersensitivity (SPH) — an allergy to semen. While it's considered a rare allergy, it's also underdiagnosed. Michael Carroll, associate professor in reproductive science at Manchester Metropolitan University, explained it isn't triggered by sperm cells, but the fluid that carried the sperm. 'First documented in 1967, when a woman was hospitalised after a 'violent allergic reaction' to sex, SPH is now recognised as a type 1 hypersensitivity, the same category as hay fever, peanut allergy and cat dander,' he said, according to The Sun. Writing for The Conversation, Associate Professor Carroll said symptoms of SPH can range from mild to severe. While some women experience local reactions, such as burning, itching, redness and swelling of the vulva or vagina, others develop full-body symptoms such ashives, wheezing, and even anaphylaxis. He added: 'Until 1977, SPH was thought to affect fewer than 100 women globally. 'But a study led by allergist Jonathan Bernstein found among women reporting post-coital symptoms, nearly 12 per cent could be classified as having probable SPH. 'I conducted a small, unpublished survey in 2013 and found a similar 12 per cent rate. The true figure may be higher still. 'Many cases go unreported, misdiagnosed, or dismissed as STIs, yeast infections, or general 'sensitivity'. 'One revealing clue: symptoms disappear when condoms are used.' The main allergen, according to Carroll, is prostate-specific antigen — a protein produced by cells in the prostate gland. And cross-reactivity is a possibility, for example, f5, a protein found in dog dander, is structurally similar to PSA. So a woman allergic to dogs may also be allergic to semen too. Also, woman may not be the only ones affected, said Carroll. It's possible some men be allergic to their own semen too. A paper published in American Journal of Case Reports described a 22-year-old was consumed by sneezing, watery eyes, stomach cramps, muscle pain and deep fatigue in the hours after climaxing. The condition is known as post-orgasmic illness syndrome (POIS). While SPH doesn't cause infertility directly, it can complicate conception. Carroll said: 'Avoiding the allergen – usually the most effective treatment for allergies – isn't feasible for couples trying to conceive. Treatments include prophylactic antihistamines (antihistamine medications taken in advance of anticipated exposure to an allergen, or before allergy symptoms are expected to appear to prevent or reduce the severity of allergic reactions), anti-inflammatories and desensitisation using diluted seminal plasma. In more severe cases, couples may choose IVF with washed sperm, bypassing the allergic trigger altogether.
ABC News
a day ago
- ABC News
Talking about death could completely change our relationship with it, and remove some of the fear
When Megan Maurice was diagnosed with breast cancer at 36, her daughter Pia was only seven. And while Megan's prognosis was good, the thought of how she would broach the topic of death with her daughter was definitely something that weighed on her mind. "If things took a turn for the worse, if it had spread further than we thought, how would I talk about that with her?" she tells ABC Radio National's Life Matters. "It was something that I always knew I wanted to be really up front with. "As soon as I got the diagnosis, I knew that I wanted to talk to her about it and let her know what was happening." Megan felt firmly that she wouldn't cover anything up with metaphors or language like "passing away" or "passing on". "I don't like to use that language that makes things less clear. If you're too vague, there's always the chance that they don't quite understand what's happened, and I wouldn't want her thinking that I'd died but I might come back," she says. In the face of death, the choice to speak openly — with family or anyone else — is not always the first one people reach for. How could we make it easier to have frank conversations about death? And, in having them, what do we stand to gain? Up until roughly the 1930s, conversations about death were part of the fabric of life, Melbourne GP and author Leah Kaminsky says. More homes were intergenerational so more people were likely to have encountered someone sick or dying, and the ancient religious practice "momento mori" (literally, "remember you must die") encouraged reflection on death. "[Then] death got outsourced, it went off-stage into the hospitals. You were dying, in the wings, often lonely deaths," says the author, whose latest book is called We're All Going To Die. Death began moving away from an accepted part of life and became thought of by the medical profession as "the doctor's enemy". "We [doctors] used to sit the vigil and hold a patient's hand, and [be with] the whole family," Leah says. "Nowadays there's a militarisation even in the language of death: we battle cancer, we fight disease. "So I think there's been this huge psychosocial shift that's made death something that's foreign to us. It's not part of the fabric of life. We don't see it, we don't experience it." Chris Cheers, a Melbourne psychologist and author of The New Rule Book, says the more we avoid death, the more anxiety-provoking it becomes. "Especially in a white Australian culture, I think we've created the ability to really avoid talking about death, avoid experiencing grief … and as soon as you avoid something, it means you can't process it [or] make sense of it," he says. Life Matters listener Bobby says she grew up with an open acknowledgement of death as part of her Māori culture. "Death was still accepted … It was just part of a natural process," she says. She's concerned about people's connection to death being increasingly eroded, and she's cynical about industries that, she argues, capitalise on people's fear of death. "It suits insurance companies and the billion-dollar funeral industry to take the ownership away from the families. To say, 'I'm here to undertake all of that for you, because it's too difficult. It's too hard'," she says. "That is a huge frustration [of mine]. We need to come back to our life, our ownership, and not fall into the fear [and accept] somebody else saying this is too hard for you to handle." Megan, who has written about her experience in her book Life Goes On, has always had a "little fear of death". "It's never been something I've been very comfortable with. And then when you have a diagnosis like [cancer] and, suddenly, it's something you can't quite get away from," she says. But having cancer changed her relationship with death. "It did reframe it for me a little bit ... [I realised] that a fear of death was actually a really good thing, because it really showed how much I wanted to live," she says. "It helped me to understand how I could balance that fear a little bit better, and let it take up less space in my life." Chris says accepting you're going to die at some point means you're more likely to consider exactly what you want to do with your life — and get moving on it. There's a technique he's borrowed from the school of existential psychiatry, which he uses a lot in his work, that rams this point home. "You put your hand on your heart and you notice your heartbeat, and you consider that heartbeat, one day, will end," he says. "So what are you going to do with each beat?" Rituals are another way of becoming more familiar and comfortable with the idea of death, Leah says. "There is a separation for a lot of people from religion and spirituality … and I think in some ways that means we've lost ways to understand [and] to talk about death [and] to grieve," she says. "But just because you're not spiritual or religious, it doesn't mean you can't have ritual. It doesn't mean you can't create spaces, whether it's a death cafe, or just sitting down at the dinner table and saying, 'let's talk about death'." Leah says another way to feel empowered about death is by making an advanced care directive. That's a written document outlining what you would like to happen when you die or if you get sick. It includes how much resuscitation you'd like or what sort of treatments you want to receive. The plan is "you calling the shots" about your treatment and death, she says. (Make sure you tell someone where the document is so it can be found at short notice.) "Everyone has a different approach. But the most important thing is to find some outlet, somewhere you can discuss it, read about it, talk about it, think about it. "Because too often, in my profession, sadly, we have people that think about it too late. And it turns into the messy thing that we actually do fear. "Whereas if you've thought ahead, I think it's a far better experience, not just for you, but for your family and your loved ones."
Daily Telegraph
2 days ago
- Daily Telegraph
New study reveals dementia risk linked to surprisingly low alcohol intake
Don't miss out on the headlines from Illness. Followed categories will be added to My News. A new study published in the journal Neurology has found that drinking alcohol, even in relatively moderate amounts, significantly increases the risk of dementia and other serious health conditions. The research, conducted in Brazil, analysed data from autopsies of 1781 people, shedding light on the long-term effects of alcohol on brain health. Subjects were grouped into four categories: those who never drank, moderate drinkers (who consumed up to seven standard drinks per week), heavy drinkers (who had eight or more standard drinks per week), and former heavy drinkers who had not drunk for at least three months but had a history of heavy drinking. In the study, a standard drink was defined as 14 grams of alcohol, roughly equivalent to a 350ml glass of beer or 147ml of wine, according to Psychology Today. While drinking habits were reported by relatives, which may not always be entirely accurate, the overall findings still proved the link between drinking and cognitive decline. Drinking a moderate amount of alcohol has been shown to increase the risk of dementia. Picture: iStock Alcohol linked to dementia Interestingly, the amount of alcohol that can impair brain function is lower than many people might expect. The study defines 'heavy' drinking as eight or more drinks per week, but this is a level many would consider moderate. It would be the same as having a beer or a glass of wine each week night, plus two on the weekend. But the results showed that those who consumed up to seven or more than eight drinks per week faced a higher risk of brain injuries associated with memory loss and dementia. Up to seven or more than eight drinks was linked to cognitive decline, memory loss and dementia. Picture: iStock Heavy drinkers in the study had a 133 per cent higher risk of developing hyaline arteriolosclerosis, a condition involving the thickening and hardening of arteries. This process restricts blood flow to the brain and can result in tiny, often unnoticed strokes that damage memory and increase the risk of dementia. Former heavy drinkers, even after abstaining for three months or more, were still 89 per cent more likely to develop this condition compared to those who never drank. Meanwhile, moderate drinkers faced a 60 per cent increased risk, proving that even lower levels of alcohol consumption were harmful. Even former heavy drinkers were at risk of serious health issues. Picture: iStock Other health impacts Beyond artery damage, heavy drinkers and former heavy drinkers were also more likely to develop neurofibrillary tangles, which are protein formations in the brain strongly associated with dementia and Alzheimer's disease. Heavy drinkers were 41 per cent more likely to have these tangles, while former heavy drinkers were 31 per cent more likely. Even after stopping drinking, former drinkers remain at a higher risk of dementia, which is a harsh reminder that the effects of alcohol can linger long after the last drink. In saying that, it's never too late to begin to make healthier lifestyle choices and re-evaluate your alcohol consumption. Australian implications Interestingly, the National Health and Medical Research Council (NHMRC) Australian Alcohol Guidelines recommend that adults should drink no more than 10 standard drinks per week to reduce the risk of harm from alcohol-related disease or injury. This is particularly worrying because this new research found increased dementia risks even at levels of drinking well below the current NHMRC guideline. What's even more concerning is that one in four Australian adults exceed this guideline, with men more likely to do so than women. Among young adults aged 18 to 24, more than one in three go over the recommended limit. Originally published as New study reveals dementia risk linked to surprisingly low alcohol intake
