Woman Wants to Leave Stepdaughter Out of Vacation Plans After Being Shut Out for Years

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2 days ago

A stepmother turns to Reddit for advice about whether her stepdaughter should join an upcoming family vacation
She opens up about years of tension and feeling rejected by her husband's teenage daughter
As the summer trip approaches, the family's underlying issues threaten to overshadow their plansA woman seeks advice from the Reddit community after finding herself at a crossroads with her stepdaughter and husband over an upcoming family vacation.
She shares in her post, 'I'd really appreciate an outside opinion on this one,' as she lays out the emotional complexities at play in her blended family.
Married for four years to her husband, who has a 16-year-old daughter named Kayla from a previous marriage, the woman says, 'I don't have kids of my own, but I've always tried to be kind and supportive in my role as a stepmom.'
Despite her efforts, she admits, 'Kayla has never warmed up to me,' noting that while she didn't expect instant love, the relationship has only grown more strained over time.
The stepmom describes the teen's behavior as 'cold, sarcastic," and adds that Kayla "constantly undermines me.' She provides examples, explaining, 'She never says my name, just refers to me as 'her' or 'your wife.' '
The tension was further highlighted by comments Kayla makes to her father, such as, 'You were happier before you met her,' and, 'She's just pretending to care.'
Even small gestures, she says, are met with resistance. 'Any time I plan something — dinner, a movie, even helping decorate for the holidays — she rolls her eyes, refuses to participate, or finds a reason to criticize it,' the woman reveals.
The difficulties extend to Kayla's social circle, with the stepmom sharing, 'She tells her friends that I'm fake or that I 'insert myself where I don't belong.'' The woman notes a pattern where Kayla is 'perfectly polite when my husband is around, but the moment he leaves the room, she turns cold again.'
Despite these challenges, she insists she's tried everything to bridge the gap. 'I've tried everything: being warm, giving her space, inviting her to things without pressure, even directly (and kindly) asking if we could talk about what's bothering her,' she says, but adds, 'She always shrugs me off or shuts it down.'
The situation reached a breaking point when the family began planning a long-awaited summer vacation. 'We were planning a 10-day trip to the coast — our first real vacation in years,' she explains. Yet, she confesses, 'As much as it hurts to say, I don't want Kayla to come.'
She struggled with guilt over her feelings, writing, 'I know that sounds horrible. But I feel like she'll spend the whole trip sulking, making snide comments, and icing me out.'
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The emotional toll is evident as she admits, 'It's exhausting trying to be around someone who clearly doesn't want me there — and honestly, I'd rather this trip be something relaxing for once.'
Her husband reacted with anger, accusing her of excluding his daughter and 'drawing a line in the sand.'
She tried to offer alternatives, saying, 'He's welcome to take a separate trip with her, or we can all do something together later, but this one time, I want to go without the cold war energy.' However, the fallout was immediate, with her husband barely speaking to her and Kayla choosing to stay at her mother's house.
Kayla expressed that she feels 'unwanted and unloved,' a sentiment that deeply hurt the stepmom, who insists, 'All I ever tried to is make her feel the opposite.'
Now, the woman turns to Reddit, asking, 'AITA for not wanting my stepdaughter on this trip because she clearly hates me and I'm tired of pretending otherwise?'
Read the original article on People