4 Clear Signs You're Experiencing ‘Dating Burnout,' By A Psychologist
That exhaustion isn't just imagined. A 2024 longitudinal study published in New Media & Society tracked nearly 500 dating app users over 12 weeks and found that emotional exhaustion and feelings of inefficacy increased the longer people stayed active on these apps.
Users who were already experiencing depression, anxiety or loneliness were especially vulnerable to these damaging effects. The study also found that compulsive dating app use predicted more burnout, even though it made some users feel they were 'trying harder.' Over time, the effort often stopped feeling hopeful and started feeling hollow.
Here are four signs you're likely experiencing dating burnout and how to recover from it without losing hope.
When you're burned out, you may start losing interest in dating. While you still want to find love, you might be too depleted to enjoy the process. Even when a date goes well, you may feel detached or unimpressed.
A qualitative study published this January in SN Social Sciences explored how dating app users become more emotionally desensitized over time. Participants described a sharp drop in excitement, replaced by fatigue, emptiness and a sense of just going through the motions after consistently using these apps.
A 27 year-old female participant said, 'I go on dates, but when I am honest, I am tired before getting there, tired of telling the same stories and hearing the same stories.'
The study found that repetitive, non-committal interactions gradually wore down users' emotional engagement, leading to feelings of sadness, self-doubt and disconnection even while actively dating.
Another female user mentioned, 'I was looking for fun and to experience something, instead, I feel nothing, and that concerns me.'
This type of burnout isn't always obvious at first. You might not realize how emotionally checked out you've become until you're halfway through another date, already hoping it ends soon.
You delete the app, then download it again. You swipe for a while, close it and return the next day. The routine is familiar, perhaps even instinctive by now, but it often leaves you feeling more disengaged than connected.
Researchers of the January study found that many dating app users described this pattern as repetitive and difficult to break, even when it no longer brought enjoyment.
A 32 year-old male participant shared, 'All the swiping, payments, unmatching and writing the same repeatedly, it depresses me.'
Another added, 'I regret swiping and chatting over a weekend. It feels like a waste of time with zero value.'
This kind of usage can reflect a deeper sense of fatigue. When such behavior continues without a sense of meaningful progress or connection, it may be a sign that what began as intentional effort has now shifted into burnout.
When you're experiencing dating burnout, your ability to emotionally regulate may be affected. Messages left on read, slow replies or canceled plans can begin to feel disproportionately significant. Even minor dating setbacks may trigger self-doubt or discouragement.
A 2025 systematic review published in Computers in Human Behavior found that dating app use is associated with increased symptoms of depression, anxiety and lower self-esteem in nearly half of the studies examined. One key driver of this was the constant exposure to judgment and perceived rejection.
Even low match rates or being ghosted can trigger distress and self-doubt, especially in users who engage frequently.
The review also introduces the idea of 'quantified popularity,' where likes, matches and responses become metrics of self-worth. This dynamic encourages users to monitor their 'performance' and appearance closely, particularly after experiencing rejection.
To add to feelings of being ignored, dating app use can highlight both instances of external validation as well as rejection, perhaps at a rate we were never meant to witness.
Over time, this cycle of constant evaluation and perceived rejection can wear down your emotional resilience, until dating no longer feels like an opportunity but a test you keep failing.
Burnout doesn't just affect how you feel, but also how you act. You might notice yourself saying things you don't fully mean, tolerating behavior you wouldn't normally accept or trying to impress people who don't align with your values.
After a while, the dating process might feel less like showing up as your authentic self and more like shape-shifting into someone else.
In the January 2025 study, several participants described this gradual loss of self. They reported feeling detached from their own personalities as if they were performing for the sake of being liked.
The researchers noted, 'Many do regret these interactions, yet often proceed — either by agreeing to dates against interest and intuition, staying in uncomfortable settings, or engaging in intimacy contrary to their own desires.'
This shift doesn't happen overnight. But when dating starts to feel like a burden you're struggling to let go of, it may be a sign that you're no longer intentionally choosing connection — you're just trying not to be alone.
Once you recognize the signs of dating burnout, the next step isn't necessarily to quit, but to pause with intention. Here are a few ways to reset and recharge before stepping back in:
Dating is meant to bring connection, not depletion. If it starts feeling like pressure or like you're performing a version of yourself you can't relate to, it's important to pause. You don't have to earn your rest or prove your resilience by pushing through something that's wearing you down.
If your dating experience starts feeling like too much, it's not a failure to step back. It's an act of self-awareness and self-care. After all, the most important relationship to protect is the one you have with yourself.
Are you overusing dating apps? Take this science-backed test to find out: Problematic Tinder Use Scale
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Refinery29
a day ago
- Refinery29
I Know How Risky Tanning Beds Are, So Why Can't I Quit Them?
Welcome to Sun Blocked, Refinery29's global call to action to wake up to the serious dangers of tanning. No lectures or shaming, we promise. Instead, our goal is to arm you with the facts you need to protect your skin to the best of your ability, because there's no such thing as safe sun. 'I'll just do a few sessions on a tanning bed to build a base tan before my holiday,' I told myself earlier this year. The results weren't instant, unlike the self-tanners I've used for over a decade, but after a few visits, my skin looked golden. I enjoyed the somewhat lasting glow that didn't leave me looking like a slice of Dutch crunch bread after four days. I planned to stop going to the tanning salon once I returned home, but the allure of tanned skin was hard to resist. What started as building a vacation base tan — which dermatologists argue is actually a myth — quickly turned into, 'I'll keep going so I'm tanned for my birthday,' then, 'I might as well continue over summer. A few more weeks won't hurt.' Before I knew it, I was clocking up more minutes at the tanning salon than I could count. But here's the thing: I know the potentially life-threatening risks of using tanning beds. I know that using tanning beds increases the risk of developing skin cancer, including melanoma, and that, as reported by the Skin Cancer Foundation, more than 419,000 cases of skin cancer in the US each year are linked to indoor tanning. I'm not alone in knowing the risks. In a survey conducted by the American Academy of Dermatology (AAD), 20% of Gen Z adults said that getting a tan is more important to them than preventing skin cancer. But exactly why do we continue? Dr. Ravi Gill, a practitioner psychologist at Smart Mind Health, says that beauty ideals such as ' tanned equals attractive ' can override our instinct for self-protection: 'This is due to powerful social and psychological influences,' says Dr. Gill. Adding, 'From a young age, we're exposed to messages — through media, peers and culture — that link tanned skin with attractiveness, status, and health. Over time, these ideas are internalized and tied to our self-worth and identity.' Lisa, 32, can certainly relate. She used a tanning bed for the first time at just 17 years old after a friend said it would 'look good' to have tanned skin. 'I was curious, so I decided to give it a try,' she tells me, adding that body insecurities are a reason she still uses them: 'When I'm tanned, the spider veins and cellulite on my legs, which you don't see much of on social media, are less visible,' she says. 'That makes me feel more confident. I get compliments as well, which is motivation to continue.' Interestingly, tanning isn't the only example of how we're trading safety for self-esteem. This notion can also be applied to many of our aesthetic practices, like unregulated Botox and BBLs, which have a notoriously high mortality rate in comparison to other cosmetic procedures. Shedding light on this, Dr. Gill explains that humans crave social acceptance and fear rejection, choosing to conform to beauty norms — even when they involve risks: 'The desire for social belonging and approval often feels more immediate and emotionally powerful than long-term health concerns,' she says. ' While I think tanning makes me look better in many ways, I feel particularly conflicted about the damage it's doing thanks to my medical history: I've always had a few questionable moles. The fact that I use tanning beds is something I'm quite embarrassed about. ' Concerningly, Lisa tells me that she fears skin aging more than skin cancer: 'Ironically, I've curated a social media feed full of skinfluencers teaching me how to look after my skin, and I've honed a [multi-step] skincare routine. Yet I continue to do the one thing that will damage my skin the most — something which no amount of serum or SPF can save me from.' Lisa's honesty, or as she puts it, 'silliness', might seem extreme to some, but it reveals a deeper truth: decades of messaging have taught us that our value lies in our appearance. Thanks to the popularity of Ozempic alongside the return of thinness on red carpets and For You Pages (which notably prompted the 'skinnytok' hashtag ban), being slim is back on a pedestal — and tanning plays a role here. I've often found myself commenting on how much 'slimmer' I look with a tan, and who can blame me? Shows like Love Island have helped solidify the idea that bronzed skin doesn't just look 'better' but also leaner and more sculpted — like contouring for your whole body. Is tanning bad for you? While I think tanning makes me look better in many ways, I feel particularly conflicted about the damage it's doing thanks to my medical history. I've always had a few questionable moles. Some are asymmetric, others have jagged borders and a range of colors. On holiday, when my skin is exposed in a bikini, friends and family have commented on it and encouraged me to get checked out. After spending time living in Australia, where UV levels are very high, I decided to follow through on this. I wasn't a tanning bed user at the time of my first (or second) mole check, but doctors did flag that the Sydney sunshine could have put my skin at risk. After an examination of my moles, I was advised to keep an eye on them and return if I saw any 'noticeable changes'. In the years since those checks, I've observed a handful of changes to some of my moles. But as someone with health anxiety, I never know if I'm being paranoid or if I really should go back to the doctor. Consequently, I'm in limbo — I don't want to waste my doctor's time if the changes I've seen aren't 'noticeable' enough, but I also don't want to ignore the issue and end up in a potentially life-threatening situation. Taking all of this into consideration, the fact that I use tanning beds probably sounds absurd. Honestly, it's something I'm quite embarrassed about. Why do we use tanning beds despite the risks? Dr. Gill explains that this is a case of cognitive dissonance, when a person feels psychological discomfort because their actions contradict their beliefs. 'In beauty culture, this dissonance is common,' she says, pointing again to societal pressures. 'For example, someone may understand the risks of tanning bed use or crash dieting but still engage in these behaviors to align with societal beauty ideals.' Dr. Gill goes on to explain that we try to resolve this internal discomfort by rationalizing our behaviors rather than changing them. Telling ourselves, 'It's just for summer' or 'Everyone else is doing it' is an easy way to avoid feelings of guilt. Critics, however, often think that tanning bed users should feel guilty for this choice. But here's the thing: 'Shaming people for using tanning beds often backfires, making them more likely to continue the behavior,' says Dr. Gill. She adds, 'Research shows that self-criticism reduces motivation for change, while compassionate, non-judgmental support is more effective in encouraging healthier choices.' But can anyone truly say they've always put their health above all else? Like tanning beds, alcohol, processed meat, and tobacco, for example, are classed as type one carcinogens — substances that can cause cancer. I'm keen to know whether those who frown on my habit often indulge in a fast food burger or unwind with a bottle of wine. ' We are watching the number of skin cancers scale out of control in our clinics. Dr Kiely ' Is tanning addictive? That's before we bring class into the equation. Research that shows those from lower socio-economic backgrounds are more likely to use tanning beds. Although further investigation is needed to explore why that is, a 2022 study concluded that tanning bed use has been historically framed through the media as a 'working-class activity'. Of course, it's not just about class, appearances or a taste for Sauvignon Blanc; the addictiveness of carcinogens plays a role: 'Tanning is addictive and there's actually a biological explanation,' says Dr. Clare Kiely, a consultant dermatologist and cofounder of The Skin Diary. She explains that when the body is exposed to UV radiation, it triggers a process that results in the release of endorphins, hormones that create a sense of 'euphoria'. For many, the glow isn't just about looking good — it's about feeling good, too: 'I'm normally in a better mood after a tanning bed,' confirms Ella, who agrees this 'mood-boosting' effect is a big factor in why people feel addicted to tanning beds. Lisa echoes this, telling me she enjoys the light and 'me-time' of being on a tanning bed: 'It's like dreaming myself away to a beach.' Given how addictive tanning beds are, the responsibility to prevent their damage shouldn't rest solely on users. Many experts argue that stricter regulation is the only way forward, especially as research shows we continue to tan in spite of the evidence before us. 'I don't believe the current regulations are adequate,' says Dr. Rakesh Anand, a consultant dermatologist and British Skin Foundation spokesperson. He notes that while there are restrictions on under-18s and some standards for equipment and usage, there's still a 'significant' public health risk. 'Given the well-established link between tanning bed use and skin cancer, stronger measures are urgently needed,' he adds. As for what that might look like, various skin cancer charities have called for tanning beds to have graphic warning signs similar to those found on cigarette packets, while a June 2025 study exposed ' potential gaps in current regulations ' when it comes to tanning salons marketing on social media. Whether on a tanning bed in New York or a beach lounger in Mexico, dermatologists are firm in their answer that there's no such thing as a safe tan — 'Unless it's self-tanner from a bottle,' says Dr. Kiely. She agrees with Dr. Anand that the only way to 'eliminate' risk is to ban tanning beds, as they are in countries such as Australia and Brazil: 'I'm coming at it as a person who has spent her career cutting out thousands of skin cancers, some of them life-threatening,' Dr. Kiely adds. 'We are watching the number of skin cancers scale out of control in our clinics. We must take measures now to protect future generations.' Despite being reminded by every expert of the very real dangers before me, in the time I've been writing this article, I've racked up another 44 minutes on the tanning beds — although I have reduced the frequency of my visits. I want to stop altogether and pick up my once-beloved self-tanners that are currently collecting dust, but I'm trying to feel less guilt and shame about this habit, as I've unpicked how years of societal pressure led me to this point. Ultimately, that's what needs to change. From Botox to fillers and beyond, we've all been sold on the 'ideal' appearance, which can differ depending on what we've been conditioned into thinking. The recent ban on disposable vapes proves that if people want to do something, they'll find a way, so we all have to do our part in breaking the cycle when it comes to tanning. Mine is writing this article and being vulnerable about a paradox many of us feel but rarely discuss: the desire to protect our skin while craving the glow of a tan. It would also help to see celebrities and influencers embracing their natural skin tones, and for brands to do the same with the models in their campaigns. Whether it's a school session or a poster in a tanning salon, better education could also go a long way — not just about the dangers of tanning beds, which clearly isn't always enough, but about how to resist outside pressure. In learning how to accept ourselves as we are, we might just find the glow hits differently when it comes from within.
Yahoo
2 days ago
- Yahoo
Can a hangover pill really work? I brought one to Glastonbury for the ultimate test
Working on the health desk of a national newspaper, I get daily reminders of just how bad alcohol is for me. Multiple times a day, I read about the link between alcohol and cancer, alcohol and dementia, alcohol and diabetes. The alarming truth of it, as I understand, is that there isn't a single health benefit to drinking alcohol. And yet, it hasn't stopped me drinking it at parties – and neither have my worsening hangovers. I like feeling tipsy. People are funnier, I'm funnier and I enjoy the buzz of being in a group who are sipping drinks, relaxing into an evening out together. I also really like the bitter taste of a negroni. But I'm 33 and part of a cohort of middling millennials who lament how just a few years ago, we used to be able to sink pints and bottles of wine and feel fresh the next day. Those days, I hate to admit, are over. Our livers are getting slower at processing alcohol and we're feeling that. The hangovers last longer and they are definitely more painful. Mine usually involve an aura-type headache which forces me to spend the day being gentle with myself on the sofa, glugging litres of cold water. All of this to say: I am not a joy to be around the day after I've been drinking. The idea of dealing with this middling millennial hangover at Glastonbury – far from the quiet calm of my sofa, in a field with 200,000 people, with music reaching levels above 85 decibels – fills me with dread. So when I read about a hangover pill 'For Those Who Want To Enjoy A Social Evening And Feel Refreshed The Next Morning', I decided that I owe it to my liver to try it out. And if not my liver, I definitely owe it to my friends. I set off for Glastonbury, with five days of drinking ahead of me and enough 'Myrkl' pills to last me the festival. Will taking one a few hours before I start drinking mean I make it through Glastonbury with a clear head? Before I set off, I talk to Johan de Faire, the biochemist who developed Myrkl to understand exactly how it works. De Faire tells me that the active ingredient in this pill is fermented rice bran, a natural probiotic (containing bacteria that promotes good gut health), while the vitamin B12 and protein L-Cysteine are added as 'companion ingredients'. He started taking fermented rice bran in powder form in 1994 and has taken it every day since then, attributing his good health to it. After he and friends of his who were also taking it noticed improved hangovers, he set about trying to get a clinical trial to prove what they'd been experiencing. 'When we took the pill into a clinical study, we were finally able to confirm my initial results. Both the breathalyser and blood analysis showed that our pill breaks down alcohol in the body 70 per cent faster than the liver,' he says. But if it's breaking down the alcohol by 70 per cent an hour after drinking as the packet claims, will I even feel tipsy?Yes, says de Faire. 'Because what you enjoy when drinking is the 20 per cent that's absorbed to the blood through your mouth cavity and stomach. The remaining 80 per cent moves into the small intestine and is there for quite some time before it's absorbed into the blood. That 80 per cent doesn't bring anything to the enjoyable part of alcohol. It's basically a burden on the liver and other organs. And that's what our pill helps to break down. 'When you take Myrkl, it stimulates the gut microbiome to metabolise alcohol faster, breaking down the alcohol in your small intestine into water and carbon dioxide, before it's absorbed into the blood. That is why people report not suffering the consequences from the heavy night before.' Until now, my understanding was that alcohol is toxic for your gut microbiome and, as ethanol is the main ingredient, it can actually kill off some of the microbes in your gut, reducing the diversity of your microbiome that we're so often told to make thrive through our diet. So I'm interested to understand whether this pill, apart from anything else, will protect my gut health. Sadly, liver specialist at the University of Liverpool and chairman of the alcohol health alliance Professor Sir Ian Gilmore says there's absolutely no evidence to suggest that a probiotic will protect your gut health from alcohol and it's not very likely. 'It is highly improbable that taking a couple of tablets before going out would have any effect on the complex gut microbiome,' he says. Since he understands a lot about how the body responds to alcohol, I ask him about the claims de Faire is making on these pills. 'It is true that a tiny fraction of alcohol is absorbed from the oral cavity but this alcohol is likely to be just as damaging and causative of a hangover as the alcohol absorbed from the stomach and small intestine. Also, the studies that suggested that less alcohol was absorbed by taking the tablets, which I understand were funded by the pill manufacturers themselves, have been criticised for the small numbers, all men and the low doses of alcohol used. Also, several of the common cancers associated with alcohol consumption are in the mouth, gullet and intestine that will be exposed to alcohol, whether or not it is absorbed. 'I am sceptical of the claim that this pill reduces alcohol absorption (and the company-sponsored research on which the claim is based). A much more reliable (and cheaper) method of avoiding hangovers is to drink less. To my knowledge, there is no credible scientific evidence that this costly medication reduces the unwanted side-effects.' I so want the evidence behind this pill to stack up, so I ask a third expert what he thinks: Professor David Nutt, the author of Drink? The New Science of Alcohol and Your Health and a professor of neuropsychopharmacology at Imperial College London. 'This pre-treatment is one of several products on the market that accelerate the metabolism of alcohol before it gets into the body. The ingredients will stimulate the gut microbiome to metabolise alcohol faster – so there will be less acetaldehyde (the toxic by-product of alcohol) in the body. You will get less of a hangover because essentially, you're consuming less alcohol. It would be so much cheaper to drink less but if the act of drinking itself to compete with your peers is important to you then it might help. But it's probably better to avoid alcohol altogether.' After getting the experts' takes, I wasn't hopeful that this anti-hangover pill would work. I wanted it to do exactly what de Faire outlined: to allow me to drink rounds of drinks with my friends over the five day festival, but save me from the dreaded hangover symptoms the next day. I could see how though, as the other experts pointed out, it might feel a bit pointless drinking and spending money on alcohol if I wasn't absorbing it. But by the third cool pint of cider I noticed that I was still getting that buzz from the alcohol, like you do when you drink your first. And that continued through the day and into the evening. I drank three ciders, a beer and three canned negronis but I felt energised and happy, without reaching the point where the alcohol was making me groggy or tired. The day after I'd usually be reaching for paracetamol, rehydration tablets, a wet flannel, salty crisps and water if I'd drunk this much, but miraculously I woke up without even a headache. It's expensive at £30 for 15 tablets, and there is a strange after taste once you've swallowed the capsules, a little bit like when you take antibiotics. But it did work for me. Possibly, because it doesn't take too many drinks for me to feel the effects of alcohol. I'm not sure how someone would respond if they drank a lot more. I was also drinking a lot of water throughout the day because of the 30C heatwave that hit this year, so that will have helped lessen the dehydration. At several points, I reflected on why it is that I carry on past the first alcoholic drink if I enjoy the feeling of having one or two. As Nutt points out, it would be cheaper to just not drink as much – and it would also protect my gut health. For me, it's about enjoying the taste and the sensation of sipping it, and it's also about being sociable. Like it or not, we live in a drinking culture and at festivals especially, where you're part of a group, the ritual of buying rounds and reaching that giggly alcohol-fuelled state together is a big part of the experience. So for me personally, this pill's a game changer and is firmly on my festival essentials list. Broaden your horizons with award-winning British journalism. Try The Telegraph free for 1 month with unlimited access to our award-winning website, exclusive app, money-saving offers and more.
Newsweek
2 days ago
- Newsweek
Gen Z Is Drinking More Alcohol
Based on facts, either observed and verified firsthand by the reporter, or reported and verified from knowledgeable sources. Newsweek AI is in beta. Translations may contain inaccuracies—please refer to the original content. Gen Zers have long been known for their abstinence from alcohol and drugs as they focus on health, wellness and self-care. But the tide might be changing as a new survey from IWSR Bevtrac found that Gen Z's drinking has increased, putting its alcohol consumption in line with that of other generations. Why It Matters There has long been talk of a generational shift in attitudes toward drugs and alcohol. In December, researchers from the University of Michigan found that the percentage of students abstaining from drugs had hit record levels. A July 2024 study found that 64 percent of legal-drinking-age Gen Zers in the United States said they had not consumed alcohol in the six months leading up to May. An August Gallup study also found that 65 percent of adults under 35 viewed alcohol as unhealthy. A Russian River Brewing Company customer sipping the newly released Pliny the Younger triple IPA beer in Santa Rosa, California, on February 7, 2014. A Russian River Brewing Company customer sipping the newly released Pliny the Younger triple IPA beer in Santa Rosa, California, on February 7, To Know The Bevtrac survey, which covered 15 markets, found that the proportion of Gen Z adults of legal drinking age who said they had consumed alcohol in the past six months had risen from 66 percent in March 2023 to 73 percent in March 2025. In the U.S. specifically, the swing was more pronounced, rising from 46 percent to 70 percent. The survey also found that Gen Z drinkers were more likely to drink spirits and more likely to drink from a wider variety of alcoholic beverages. Additionally, Gen Z drinkers are more likely to drink in bars, restaurants or clubs than other adult drinkers. Almost half of Gen Z drinkers reported that a trade venue was their last drinking location, while just over a third of adult drinkers reported this. When asked to agree or disagree with the statement "I am actively choosing to drink more," Gen Z drinkers were the most likely demographic to answer in the affirmative. The consumer insights from Bevtrac are from a twice-yearly quantitative survey of more than 26,000 respondents across 15 global markets: Australia, Brazil, Canada, China, Germany, France, India, Italy, Japan, Mexico, Spain, South Africa, Taiwan, the U.K. and the U.S. What People Are Saying Richard Halstead, IWSR's chief operating officer of consumer insights, said in a news release: "Moderation has been a growing trend among all drinkers for several years, but the idea that Gen Z [legal drinking age] drinkers are somehow fundamentally different from other age groups isn't supported by the evidence. For instance, we know that beverage alcohol consumption correlates with disposable income, and Gen Z came of age during a cost-of-living crisis. Rising prices have been especially acute in bars and restaurants—places that appeal most to Gen Z drinkers." What Happens Next It remains to be seen whether the upward trend of alcohol consumption will continue for Gen Zers as they age.
