How to be happy: 9 expert-backed tips for boosting your mood
Similarly, Dr. Zishan Khan, MD, a triple board-certified psychiatrist with Mindpath Health, says, "Finding joy helps to regulate one's emotions, making it easier to manage stress, anxiety, and even depressive symptoms." Research has also shown that happiness may even extend your lifespan. "Happy individuals tend to eat healthier, balanced meals and exercise more frequently," says Dr. Leela Magavi, MD, a Johns Hopkins Hospital-trained psychiatrist and regional medical director at MindPath Health. "Happiness is often associated with lower cholesterol and blood pressure levels and can even increase longevity. I have evaluated patients and have observed significant improvements in vitals and lab results secondary to improved mental status and increased positive experiences."
Even with these known benefits to happiness, feeling the positive emotion is often easier said than done. The problem is that life's daily stressors can make happiness sometimes feel out of reach. "We often get the path to happiness wrong — we assume we need to change our circumstances to feel more joy: get a new job, buy something new, or get more money," says Laurie Santos, PhD, a psychology professor at Yale University and host of The Happiness Lab Podcast. "But research shows that our happiness is much more under our control than we think. We can feel better by changing our behaviors, our mindsets and our actions."
With the right guidance, you can use this year's International Day of Happiness to mark a fresh start toward bringing joy into your life. "You can work on taking charge of your own happiness by taking small steps every day towards happiness," Romanoff says. "At first, this may feel uncomfortable or unnatural, but with time, it will feel more comfortable and will become part of your daily routine and automatic habit." It's about working to limit those self-sabotaging behaviors, like judging yourself, fixating on the worst outcome or simply not taking the time to appreciate your life and care for yourself.
The ultimate goal is to be able to wake up in the morning and fall asleep at night with the ability to say you're happy with yourself, the company you keep and the home you make. That, truly, is a successful life.
"Research shows that regularly expressing gratitude can rewire your mind to focus on the positive," says Santos. "Try writing down three things you're grateful for each day — big or small. This simple habit can significantly improve mood and life satisfaction over time." Study after study has shown that regular gratitude practices can improve a person's well-being and life satisfaction. Try getting one of the many cute gratitude journals out there, like this one — it may entice you to keep up the habit.
Humans are communal creatures. We gain a sense of purpose and understanding from spending time with one another. 'Humans are wired for connection, and studies consistently find that strong relationships are the biggest predictor of happiness," says Santos.
Sonya Lyubomirsky, PhD, distinguished professor of psychology at the University of California-Riverside and author of The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want, echoes her sentiment: "The key to happiness really is connection."
So, make an effort to spend time with the people who bring you joy (and skip the negative people who leave you feeling drained). To meet new people and build fresh connections, try a new activity, like joining a book club or trying out a new sport (which is also a great way to engage in movement, another happiness booster — see below).
It's a positive cycle: Developing healthy coping skills can increase your happiness, which, in turn, can improve your resilience and ability to create those healthy coping mechanisms, says Khan. He recommends engaging in emotional regulation techniques, mindfulness and self-care to manage your stress, rather than opting for less-healthy skills like drinking alcohol or isolating yourself from family and friends. Small self-care practices like relaxing in a calming bath or trying a guided meditation are healthy ways to manage stress when you're struggling to cope.
Yes, the adage is true: Doing something good for others really does make you feel better. Santos and Lyubomirsky agree that engaging in acts of kindness for others can improve your happiness. "Whether it's a small act — like paying for someone's coffee — or something bigger, like ongoing volunteering, research shows that kindness increases joy, life satisfaction and even reduces stress," says Santos.
The experts and research all say the same thing: Engaging in some form of exercise can make a significant impact on your happiness. For instance, a small 2021 study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that study participants who completed just four weeks of exercise significantly increased their feelings of life satisfaction and happiness. And additional research indicates that as little as one day of exercise per week could increase levels of happiness, although more studies are still needed to better understand and provide greater context to these findings.
But here's the thing: Adding exercise to your life certainly won't hurt, and the payoff could be significant for your mind and your body. And the best part of this news is you don't have to become a marathon runner or a gym rat to enjoy the mood-lifting benefits of movement. You can take a daily walk, enjoy a neighborhood bike ride or head to your local gym for a dance class. You can also get your exercise in at home with nothing more than a set of dumbbells and a yoga mat. If you need a little extra instruction, consider subscribing to one of our favorite online workout classes.
Social media, a barrage of work emails and a newsfeed full of stressful current events can all add feelings of negativity in your life. Consider one small 2018 study published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology. Researchers found that the college-age participants who limited their social media use to just 30 minutes each day experienced lower rates of loneliness and depression over the course of just three weeks. Of course, larger studies on the effects of social media on mental health are more nuanced, with some researchers calling it a "double edged sword," where positive and negative outcomes exist, depending on how the interactions are being used and viewed.
That said, if you find yourself "doom scrolling" or you notice yourself feeling more dejected or upset after watching the news, it may be time to step away from your smartphone or computer. Khan recommends making more space for happiness in your life by setting boundaries in areas where negativity starts to seep in. Magavi suggests setting an alarm on your phone to "check out" of your phone or computer for the day and to "check in" to activities or experiences that invite more positive feelings.
Yes, happiness will find you in different ways, but you can also actively seek out moments of joy and laughter. Romanoff recommends simple methods such as watching your favorite television show, trying new recipes from a good cookbook, telling funny stories with your friends or "generally taking the time to appreciate the small moments in life that reflect the love, care and thoughtfulness that is all around you." You might take an extra second to appreciate it if someone holds the door open for you or smile at the barista as they hand you a coffee. It's about savoring these moments as they occur as you simultaneously work to create more of them.
This is an often-overlooked happiness-booster, but it's incredibly important. Give yourself credit where credit is due. You work hard just to exist in a challenging and stressful world. You do so many things that deserve acknowledgment — including trying to bring greater happiness into your life. "I encourage individuals to own their accomplishments rather than solely inferring that luck or others helped them," says Magavi.
Consider hanging a dry erase board on your wall and using it as your "Wins" tally — a place to write down the things you did well — big and small — each day. Did you receive a compliment on your work? Give yourself a pat on the back. Did you finish a full load of laundry? That's a win in our book. Did you actually put on pants in the morning? There are days when that's worthy of a callout. Be generous and acknowledge the hard work you're putting in, even when your motivation is flagging.
Working with a certified mental health professional can be incredibly beneficial, whether you're living with a diagnosed disorder like depression or want help to learn coping mechanisms and how to deal with life's daily stressors. As Khan puts it, "Getting set up with a therapist or seeing a psychiatrist can help provide valuable tools for improving your overall mental well-being."
If you're interested in trying therapy but the thought of getting started seems overwhelming, consider one of our top choices for online therapy. Online therapy is as effective as in-person therapy for most mental health concerns and may be more accessible, particularly if you're in search of a specific type of therapist or you're struggling with challenges that make it harder to seek help outside the home, like social anxiety.
Dr. Zishan Khan, MD, a triple board-certified psychiatrist with Mindpath Health
Sonya Lyubomirsky, PhD, distinguished professor of psychology at the University of California-Riverside
Dr. Leela Magavi, MD, a Hopkins-trained psychiatrist and regional medical director at MindPath Health
Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a Harvard-trained clinical psychologist
Our health content is for informational purposes only and is not intended as professional medical advice. Consult a medical professional on questions about your health.
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They Practice Mindfulness Mindfulness is a routine practice for those who are happy. They focus on being present in the moment, rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. This practice helps them enjoy life more fully and reduces stress. Whether it's through meditation, deep breathing, or mindful walking, they find ways to incorporate mindfulness into their day. Being present allows them to experience life's joys and challenges without being overwhelmed. For some, mindfulness might seem like a luxury or a waste of time. They might feel that constant multitasking is the best way to get things done. However, this can lead to burnout and a sense of dissatisfaction. Happy people know that mindfulness increases focus and clarity. By staying present, they handle life's demands with a calm and steady approach. 7. They Seek Out Ways To Grow Happy people actively seek personal growth and development. They regularly set goals and challenge themselves to get out of their comfort zones. This pursuit of growth keeps them engaged and inspired. According to psychologist Carol Dweck, those with a growth mindset see challenges as opportunities to learn and improve. Happy people embrace this mindset, knowing that growth leads to fulfillment. Others might avoid growth opportunities, fearing failure or discomfort. They could see challenges as threats rather than chances to learn. This fear can stifle potential and keep them stuck in routines. Happy people understand that growth often involves setbacks, but they view these as part of the journey. By focusing on personal development, they find purpose and satisfaction in life. 8. They Help Others Without Being Asked Helping others is a core habit of happy people. They find joy in acts of kindness, whether through volunteering, lending a hand, or simply being there for someone. This isn't about grand gestures but about genuine generosity. 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Happy people know that laughter creates bonds and lightens the mood. By embracing humor, they navigate life with joy and resilience. 11. They Embrace Change Head On Change is something happy people aren't afraid of. They understand that life is constantly evolving and that change often brings new opportunities. Rather than resisting, they adapt and find ways to make the best of new circumstances. This flexibility helps them to grow and thrive in different environments. Happy people see change as a natural part of life and an opportunity for renewal. For others, change can be daunting and unsettling. They might prefer stability and predictability, fearing the unknown. This fear can lead to missed opportunities and stagnation. Happy people know that change is inevitable and resisting it can lead to more stress. By embracing change, they open themselves up to growth and new experiences. 12. They Nurture Their Curiosity Happy people have a natural curiosity about the world. They are eager to learn and explore new ideas and experiences. Curiosity keeps them engaged and motivated, sparking inspiration and creativity. Whether it's through reading, traveling, or asking questions, they continuously seek to expand their understanding. Happy people know that a curious mind is a joyful mind. Some might see curiosity as nosiness or a waste of time. They might be content with what they know and see no need to explore further. However, this mindset can lead to a lack of innovation and excitement. Happy people understand that curiosity drives personal growth and discovery. By nurturing their curiosity, they keep life vibrant and interesting. 13. They Engage In Self-Care Rituals Self-care is a priority for happy people. They understand the importance of taking time to recharge and care for themselves. This isn't just about physical health but also mental and emotional well-being. Whether it's through hobbies, relaxation, or pampering, they make self-care a regular part of their routine. Happy people know that they can better care for others when they care for themselves first. Others might view self-care as self-indulgent or unnecessary. They might feel guilty for taking time for themselves, seeing it as neglecting responsibilities. However, neglecting self-care can lead to burnout and stress. Happy people recognize that self-care is essential for a balanced life. By prioritizing self-care, they maintain their energy and enthusiasm for life. 14. They Never Make Comparisons Happy people steer clear of the comparison game. They focus on their own journey without getting caught up in what others are doing. This doesn't mean others don't inspire them; they just don't let comparisons diminish their self-worth. They understand that everyone's path is unique and that comparing only leads to unnecessary stress. Happy people know that contentment comes from within, not from measuring up to others. Some might find it hard to resist comparing themselves to others, especially in a world filled with social media. They might feel that they aren't successful unless they match up to others' achievements. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. Happy people know that comparisons are futile and often misleading. By focusing on their own progress, they find satisfaction and peace. 15. They Accept And Celebrate Imperfections Imperfections don't bother happy people. They embrace their flaws and understand that nobody is perfect. This acceptance allows them to be more forgiving of themselves and others. They know that mistakes and imperfections are opportunities for growth and learning. Happy people realize that striving for perfection is an unnecessary burden. Others might struggle with accepting imperfections, seeing them as failures. 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More than simply 'looking on the brightside,' optimism is 'the pattern/tendency to anticipate positive outcomes for future events,' says Christina Ni, MD, board-certified psychiatrist and interventional psychiatry medical director with Mindpath Health. So how does expecting good things to happen help you live longer? 'From a psychological perspective, optimism likely exerts its effects through both behavioral and biological pathways,' says Adrianna Holness, PhD, licensed clinical psychologist specializing in therapy focused on longevity, self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and trauma. 'Optimistic individuals tend to engage in healthier behaviors: they exercise more, smoke less, and adhere better to medical recommendations.' Additionally, optimism has ties to resilience. 'Optimists have improved ability to work through stressful situations and to manage stress regulation,' Ni says. According to Gary Small, MD, chair of psychiatry at Hackensack University Medical Center, this may involve the link between optimism and effective coping strategies, engagement of social support, and dealing with stressful situations. As a result, optimists enjoy a higher quality of life compared with pessimists, as well as significantly better mental and physical well-being. '[Optimists] are more likely to engage in such lifestyle behaviors as physical exercise, healthy diet, and stress reduction, which leads to increased life expectancy,' he says. 'Previous research indicates that optimists have fewer symptoms of depression and feelings of hopelessness. Optimists also share positive personality traits that are linked to a sense of independence, higher self-esteem, feelings of competence, and extroversion and agreeableness.' In other words, those who believe that the future holds something positive for them may make more of an effort to be healthier. 'From what I see in my work, people who approach life with a sense of optimism tend to take better care of themselves, physically and emotionally,' says Meghan Marcum, PsyD, chief psychologist for AMFM Healthcare. 'They're more likely to make healthy choices, bounce back from setbacks, and stay engaged with others, which all play a role in long-term well-being.' Is it possible to become more optimistic? While some people are born with a genetic predisposition toward optimism, science tells us that we can help ourselves and others to have a more positive outlook, Small says. 'Optimism is considered a modifiable psychological trait—something that can be learned and acquired,' Ni explains. Both psychological and behavioral interventions can help increase optimistic thought processes, she says. Learn to forgive It may be hard, but it's worth it. 'When people hurt us, we naturally experience anger and resentment, but trying to let go of those feelings by forgiving those wrong-doings help us to maintain a more optimistic attitude,' Small explains. 'Letting go of grudges will lower levels of stress while boosting positive attitudes. The ability to forgive and forget has been shown to have a positive impact on mood and well-being.' Try journaling Simply write down positive events of the day, ways to re-think negative perceptions, ideal outcomes of situations, as well as hopes for current and future events, Ni says. Along the same lines, 'mental exercises like meditation can help to reduce rumination over past, current, and future events and creates space for more positive outlooks,' she adds. Make (positive) friends and keep them The people you spend time with rub off on you, so try to gravitate towards those with positive outlooks on life. 'Socially, surrounding oneself with others who are optimistic, positive, resilient helps to reinforce and model positive ways of thinking and behaving so they become more automatic,' Ni says. Plus, being more outgoing and extroverted can help you gain a sense of empowerment and connection with others, Smalls says. Limit incoming information Instead of doomscrolling, reduce your exposure to negative content, Ni says. 'On the contrary, conscientiously increasing time with positive media content and personal contacts will continue the positive direction of shifting one's viewpoints and perspective to a more positive light,' she notes. One important caveat is that optimism should be realistic and grounded, Holness says. 'Unrealistic or 'toxic' positivity can backfire, leading to denial or avoidance of important problems,' she explains. 'Healthy optimism involves acknowledging difficulties while maintaining hope about the future.' Along the same lines, it might take a while to develop your optimism, but the experts say it's worth it. But even small shifts in how we view setbacks or stressors can make a long-term difference in both our mental and physical well-being, Marcum says. Read the original article on Real Simple
