Latest news with #ZishanKhan
Yahoo
13-06-2025
- General
- Yahoo
This Mom Is Scared to Let Grandma Take Her Toddler To The Zoo—Anxiety or FOMO?
Mom on Reddit expresses concerns about letting her mother-in-law take her 2-year old to the zoo. Commenters weigh in questioning whether it's her own anxiety or fear of missing out. Experts say there are ways parents can slowly learn to "let go" when it comes to their getting pregnant, I thought of 'letting go' as something far off. And, after having my first child in 2020 and working from home sans childcare, for his first two years of life, it certainly was. When my mom started caring for my then-two children in 2022, she did so in our home, so I was constantly aware of their whereabouts. She began taking them to her apartment in 2023, and I was grateful for the quiet, knowing I could trust her. However, getting sick happens, and when she came down with a cold on a workday that I couldn't take off, we enlisted the help of my father-in-law. He wanted to take the boys on a winter beach hike, which required driving them to a local spot and letting them run amok feet from the Atlantic Ocean. My stomach did the wave. But we needed help, and I let it happen. The outing remains a highlight for my kids and father-in-law almost two years later. The seashells sit on our mantle, and he remains in awe that they made it to a lighthouse on foot. Had I not told my stomach and head to pipe down, that memory would be a mere thought, and the frustration of that day would have only piled onto my chronic child care-related stresses. Instead, he offered a silver lining for all of us. Still, I empathized when I came across this post from a Reddit Mom, who said she was scared of letting her mother-in-law take her toddler to the zoo. 'It's not like my MIL is incompetent, but personally, it's just filling me with anxiety of all the bad what-ifs,' writes u/Abject_Goal_5632 in the Mommit Subreddit. 'I instantly told my husband no, but...I'm thinking that my son is losing an opportunity to have some good time with his grandparents. Thoughts?' Mental experts have a few empathetic ones. For starters? 'It's completely natural for a parent—especially one of a younger child—to feel anxious about their child being out of sight and out of their control,' says Zishan Khan, MD, a board-certified child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist with Mindpath Health. 'Parenting is deeply tied to a sense of responsibility and protection, so it can be unsettling to imagine someone else, even a loving grandparent, in charge. But distinguishing between protective instinct and anxiety-driven thinking is key.' First, more context for the mom's decision-making and why she was afraid of letting her MIL take her child to the zoo. 'I don't want MIL taking my kid out without me,' the original poster (OP) starts. 'My husband informed me that my MIL is taking my 2-year-old son to the zoo this Friday when I'm at work. I'm instantly annoyed [because] I wasn't asked about this plan.' Sounds reasonable, but experts—and commenters—feel like the concerns Mom lists next fall into a grayer area. 'Mostly, though, I'm uncomfortable with my baby being out at a big public place without me,' she says. The mom shares that she keeps thinking about all the things that might go wrong, though she concedes her mother-in-law hasn't acted incompetently in the past. More than 100 commenters chimed in, often with nuanced responses. 'If she is [a] safe person, I think that you should let your kid go,' replies a top commenter. The keywords are 'if' and 'safe' here, which is where other commenters who left longer responses focused. 'It would depend on your kid [and] the grandparent,' says one. 'My mom takes my son places all the time. He's 2.5. But she can keep up with very aware of car seat safety, and he's always buckled properly. I never have any concerns because she is in good enough health to handle a toddler in public. My MIL, no. She's fabulous, and we're really close. Thankfully, she knows her limits, and she is aware that she's not in the right health to keep up with a toddler on her own in public.' This poster also added that her mother-in-law frequently accompanied the family on outings. Another commenter also respectfully challenged OP, echoing what many mental health experts that Parents spoke with pointed out. 'Being anxious is what is your biggest fear?' the person writes. 'Are you worried she won't be able to handle something, or are you more worried that it's an experience you're missing out on? It sounds like a great opportunity for your son to bond with his grandma, but obviously, I don't know if there are any specific concerns you rightfully have.' First of all, there are times when a parent's concerns are more than nerves about letting go, lack of control, or FOMO. 'These include a history of putting the child in unsafe situations or factors that could lead the grandparent to unintentionally risk the grandchild's safety,' explains Emily Guarnotta, PsyD, PMH-C, co-founder of Phoenix Health. 'For example, if a grandparent has physical limitations or is suffering from cognitive decline, this could pose risks to the grandchild's well-being. If grandparents and parents have vastly different values when it comes to safety, and grandparents do not respect parents' rules, then this poses a serious problem.' But Dr. Guarnotta doesn't see that as the case in this Reddit mother's concerns about a trip to the zoo with Grandma. 'It does appear that this mother is experiencing some understandable anxiety that may not be based on an immediate, tangible threat,' she says. 'The discomfort seems to stem from the mom not being in control or feeling left out of the plan,' shares Sanam Hafeez, PsyD, a neuropsychologist and director of Comprehend the Mind. 'That's completely understandable, especially for a parent of a toddler, where vigilance is constant and letting go, even temporarily, can feel unnatural. But that doesn't mean it's a sign she cares deeply, but it doesn't mean the outing itself is a bad idea.' However, one person had a slightly different view. 'Her anxiety around her 2-year-old going to a busy place like the zoo for the first time without her is absolutely understandable,' says Abbey Sangmeister, LPC, ACS, a therapist and founder of Evolving Whole. 'To clarify, she is not saying that Grandma is unsafe; the reframe is 'this specific milestone feels big,' and wanting to be a part of it or at least consulted first is completely valid.' That said, she agrees that sometimes it's important for parents to get curious about the 'why' behind the 'no.' 'If the child's safety is in question—a grandparent has cognitive issues, ignores safety rules, or has previously lost track of your child— listen to your gut and hold that line,' Sangmeister says. 'But if the concern is more about 'what ifs,' it might be time to explore what's coming up for them. This allows the parent to honor and decide how to work with their anxiety, not dismiss it.' In the end, I was happy I didn't lean into my anxious self when my father-in-law wanted to take my sons to the beach. Doing so would have robbed my kids of a fun outing (and me of the quiet I needed to plow through work-related tasks). But I understand that it's hard, so I asked experts: What would you say to a parent like me—and this Reddit Mom—with nerves and mixed feelings about solo outings with capable grandparents? They shared many useful tips. Feelings happen, whether you ask them to or not. That's part of being human. But Dr. Hafeez shares that letting anxiety dictate choices can become problematic. 'Practice noticing the feeling—tight chest, racing thoughts, that 'what if' loop—and name it,' Dr. Hafeez says. For instance, Dr. Hafeez says you might start by saying, 'This is my anxiety talking.' Then ask yourself, 'What would I do if I weren't anxious?' 'This creates just enough distance for you to choose based on values, not fear,' Dr. Hafeez explains. 'Over time, the more you act from that calmer space, the more trust you build in your child's world—and in yourself.' Baby steps aren't just for older infants and toddlers. 'Start by letting your child go on lower-stakes outings with the grandparent—like a short walk to the park or lunch out—before progressing to larger trips like the zoo or going out of town,' Dr. Khan says. 'Gradual exposure helps train your brain to tolerate discomfort and see that things can go well. This is based on cognitive behavioral therapy principles, where facing fears in incremental steps helps build confidence and reduce anxiety over time.' Dr. Guarnotta points out that clear communication about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences can help you claim a sense of control. 'You can share some tips that have worked for you when out with your child, so the grandparent feels prepared,' Dr. Guarnotta says. 'Also, focus on other things that are within your control, such as preparing a snack bag and a change of clothes. These acts can help set the outing up for success.' Experts agree that solo outings with grandparents benefit whole families. 'Grandparents can provide another set of role models and can introduce the child to activities that their parents may not have,' Dr. Guarnotta says. 'Grandparents also may pass down cultural traditions and customs and provide another source of healthy attachment and safety for children.' And, as I have learned, 'For parents, it also offers a much-needed break and the chance to see their child loved and cared for by others—something that strengthens the whole family unit,' Dr. Khan says. 'Letting go isn't easy, but it's part of raising a resilient child—and giving yourself room to breathe as a parent.' Whether you're just not there yet or the grandparents' health or history has raised flags about whether they're up for a task like taking a child to the zoo, it's OK to say no. "Instead of apologizing or over-explaining, speak your boundary clearly,' Sangmeister says. 'You also have the option to offer alternatives so you are still inviting connection, but in a way that feels good for you.' Sangmeister would suggest telling Grandma, "This is something I'd really like to do with him the first time. I'm not comfortable with the zoo yet, but I'd love for you to take him to something smaller, like story time at the library or a neighborhood walk." Read the original article on Parents
Yahoo
11-06-2025
- Health
- Yahoo
Concerned mom is ruffling feathers by urging parents to stop overscheduling kids: ‘This is crucial'
Parents, it's time to chill. A pediatric nurse practitioner is going viral for telling moms and dads to pump the brakes on ballet, soccer, piano and Kumon — because their kids are heading toward total burnout before they even hit first grade. Mary Catherine, aka @ on Instagram, is fed up with families turning into full-time Uber services, shuttling little ones from one extracurricular to the next with zero downtime in between. 'This might ruffle some feathers, but it's a hill I will die on as a pediatric nurse and mom to young kids… I firmly believe we are starting our kids in organized sports/ activities WAY TOO EARLY,' she wrote in a recent post. 'My daughter is in kindergarten and most of her classmates are involved in 2-3 after-school activities/ sports. That's A LOT.' Her prescription? Ditch the jam-packed schedules and give kids more time to just be kids. 'Free play still needs to be prioritized in elementary age and younger kids. This is CRUCIAL,' she continued. Catherine swears by the 'one activity at a time' rule in her house for her two young kids — and experts say she's onto something. 'In my clinical experience, I've seen that children—especially those in early elementary years—who are consistently over-scheduled often present with signs of chronic distress,' Zishan Khan, MD, a psychiatric clinician, backed her up, telling Parents in a recent interview. Think: anxiety, trouble sleeping, mysterious stomachaches and enough sick days to rival flu season. 'The developing brain and body need downtime to process, grow and recover,' Khan added. Catherine emphasized the importance of letting kids engage in free play — the unfiltered, imaginative kind that doesn't require uniforms, scoreboards or permission slips. Khan agreed, calling free play 'critical' to childhood development. 'Through play, children learn to regulate their emotions, collaborate with others and develop a healthy sense of self,' he said. And while many parents might already be trying to squeeze in more free time for their kids, they still feel like it's not enough. As The Post previously reported, the average child already racks up 10 hours of play daily — split between parents, solo time and playing with friends or siblings — but three-quarters of parents say they still wish their child had more time for creative, unstructured play. An overwhelming 92% of parents believe that kind of play is key to their child's growth and development — and they're not wrong. The top play activities? Physical games like dancing and ball tossing won out, followed by social play that involves sharing and teamwork. And while screen time is still part of the equation — kids clock about two hours a day on devices — most parents agree: off-screen play is crucial. Parents are also doing their part to keep curiosity alive. The same survey found they answer an average of 14 questions a day from their pint-sized philosophers — and many even study up to keep up. In the end, the experts and the data agree: When it comes to childhood, play isn't a luxury — it's essential.
Yahoo
19-03-2025
- Health
- Yahoo
How to be happy: 9 expert-backed tips for boosting your mood
March 20 is International Day of Happiness, a reminder that the pursuit of happiness is a critical component of overall health. Not only does happiness feel good to experience, but it sets you up to live a life with greater resilience and perspective. As Sabrina Romanoff, a Harvard-trained clinical psychologist, puts it, "It's important to seek out joy and contentment because pain is inevitable in life, and you need to build in resiliency and moments of joy to dilute that discomfort and actively create a balance of the light and darkness in life." Similarly, Dr. Zishan Khan, MD, a triple board-certified psychiatrist with Mindpath Health, says, "Finding joy helps to regulate one's emotions, making it easier to manage stress, anxiety, and even depressive symptoms." Research has also shown that happiness may even extend your lifespan. "Happy individuals tend to eat healthier, balanced meals and exercise more frequently," says Dr. Leela Magavi, MD, a Johns Hopkins Hospital-trained psychiatrist and regional medical director at MindPath Health. "Happiness is often associated with lower cholesterol and blood pressure levels and can even increase longevity. I have evaluated patients and have observed significant improvements in vitals and lab results secondary to improved mental status and increased positive experiences." Even with these known benefits to happiness, feeling the positive emotion is often easier said than done. The problem is that life's daily stressors can make happiness sometimes feel out of reach. "We often get the path to happiness wrong — we assume we need to change our circumstances to feel more joy: get a new job, buy something new, or get more money," says Laurie Santos, PhD, a psychology professor at Yale University and host of The Happiness Lab Podcast. "But research shows that our happiness is much more under our control than we think. We can feel better by changing our behaviors, our mindsets and our actions." With the right guidance, you can use this year's International Day of Happiness to mark a fresh start toward bringing joy into your life. "You can work on taking charge of your own happiness by taking small steps every day towards happiness," Romanoff says. "At first, this may feel uncomfortable or unnatural, but with time, it will feel more comfortable and will become part of your daily routine and automatic habit." It's about working to limit those self-sabotaging behaviors, like judging yourself, fixating on the worst outcome or simply not taking the time to appreciate your life and care for yourself. The ultimate goal is to be able to wake up in the morning and fall asleep at night with the ability to say you're happy with yourself, the company you keep and the home you make. That, truly, is a successful life. "Research shows that regularly expressing gratitude can rewire your mind to focus on the positive," says Santos. "Try writing down three things you're grateful for each day — big or small. This simple habit can significantly improve mood and life satisfaction over time." Study after study has shown that regular gratitude practices can improve a person's well-being and life satisfaction. Try getting one of the many cute gratitude journals out there, like this one — it may entice you to keep up the habit. Humans are communal creatures. We gain a sense of purpose and understanding from spending time with one another. 'Humans are wired for connection, and studies consistently find that strong relationships are the biggest predictor of happiness," says Santos. Sonya Lyubomirsky, PhD, distinguished professor of psychology at the University of California-Riverside and author of The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want, echoes her sentiment: "The key to happiness really is connection." So, make an effort to spend time with the people who bring you joy (and skip the negative people who leave you feeling drained). To meet new people and build fresh connections, try a new activity, like joining a book club or trying out a new sport (which is also a great way to engage in movement, another happiness booster — see below). It's a positive cycle: Developing healthy coping skills can increase your happiness, which, in turn, can improve your resilience and ability to create those healthy coping mechanisms, says Khan. He recommends engaging in emotional regulation techniques, mindfulness and self-care to manage your stress, rather than opting for less-healthy skills like drinking alcohol or isolating yourself from family and friends. Small self-care practices like relaxing in a calming bath or trying a guided meditation are healthy ways to manage stress when you're struggling to cope. Yes, the adage is true: Doing something good for others really does make you feel better. Santos and Lyubomirsky agree that engaging in acts of kindness for others can improve your happiness. "Whether it's a small act — like paying for someone's coffee — or something bigger, like ongoing volunteering, research shows that kindness increases joy, life satisfaction and even reduces stress," says Santos. The experts and research all say the same thing: Engaging in some form of exercise can make a significant impact on your happiness. For instance, a small 2021 study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that study participants who completed just four weeks of exercise significantly increased their feelings of life satisfaction and happiness. And additional research indicates that as little as one day of exercise per week could increase levels of happiness, although more studies are still needed to better understand and provide greater context to these findings. But here's the thing: Adding exercise to your life certainly won't hurt, and the payoff could be significant for your mind and your body. And the best part of this news is you don't have to become a marathon runner or a gym rat to enjoy the mood-lifting benefits of movement. You can take a daily walk, enjoy a neighborhood bike ride or head to your local gym for a dance class. You can also get your exercise in at home with nothing more than a set of dumbbells and a yoga mat. If you need a little extra instruction, consider subscribing to one of our favorite online workout classes. Social media, a barrage of work emails and a newsfeed full of stressful current events can all add feelings of negativity in your life. Consider one small 2018 study published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology. Researchers found that the college-age participants who limited their social media use to just 30 minutes each day experienced lower rates of loneliness and depression over the course of just three weeks. Of course, larger studies on the effects of social media on mental health are more nuanced, with some researchers calling it a "double edged sword," where positive and negative outcomes exist, depending on how the interactions are being used and viewed. That said, if you find yourself "doom scrolling" or you notice yourself feeling more dejected or upset after watching the news, it may be time to step away from your smartphone or computer. Khan recommends making more space for happiness in your life by setting boundaries in areas where negativity starts to seep in. Magavi suggests setting an alarm on your phone to "check out" of your phone or computer for the day and to "check in" to activities or experiences that invite more positive feelings. Yes, happiness will find you in different ways, but you can also actively seek out moments of joy and laughter. Romanoff recommends simple methods such as watching your favorite television show, trying new recipes from a good cookbook, telling funny stories with your friends or "generally taking the time to appreciate the small moments in life that reflect the love, care and thoughtfulness that is all around you." You might take an extra second to appreciate it if someone holds the door open for you or smile at the barista as they hand you a coffee. It's about savoring these moments as they occur as you simultaneously work to create more of them. This is an often-overlooked happiness-booster, but it's incredibly important. Give yourself credit where credit is due. You work hard just to exist in a challenging and stressful world. You do so many things that deserve acknowledgment — including trying to bring greater happiness into your life. "I encourage individuals to own their accomplishments rather than solely inferring that luck or others helped them," says Magavi. Consider hanging a dry erase board on your wall and using it as your "Wins" tally — a place to write down the things you did well — big and small — each day. Did you receive a compliment on your work? Give yourself a pat on the back. Did you finish a full load of laundry? That's a win in our book. Did you actually put on pants in the morning? There are days when that's worthy of a callout. Be generous and acknowledge the hard work you're putting in, even when your motivation is flagging. Working with a certified mental health professional can be incredibly beneficial, whether you're living with a diagnosed disorder like depression or want help to learn coping mechanisms and how to deal with life's daily stressors. As Khan puts it, "Getting set up with a therapist or seeing a psychiatrist can help provide valuable tools for improving your overall mental well-being." If you're interested in trying therapy but the thought of getting started seems overwhelming, consider one of our top choices for online therapy. Online therapy is as effective as in-person therapy for most mental health concerns and may be more accessible, particularly if you're in search of a specific type of therapist or you're struggling with challenges that make it harder to seek help outside the home, like social anxiety. Dr. Zishan Khan, MD, a triple board-certified psychiatrist with Mindpath Health Sonya Lyubomirsky, PhD, distinguished professor of psychology at the University of California-Riverside Dr. Leela Magavi, MD, a Hopkins-trained psychiatrist and regional medical director at MindPath Health Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a Harvard-trained clinical psychologist Our health content is for informational purposes only and is not intended as professional medical advice. Consult a medical professional on questions about your health.
