'Work wife' Valentine's cards spark heated debate about appropriateness of workplace relationships

Fox News

14-02-2025

A line of Valentine's Day cards out this holiday sparked outrage on social media and heated debate about the appropriateness of workplace relationships.
In a now-viral TikTok, a woman shopping for Valentine's cards this week expresses shock to find cards addressed to a "work wife" or a "work husband."
"Work wife" or "Work husband" is a term commonly used for a co-worker whom you have a close, supportive working relationship with, who is typically the opposite sex.
The cards read, "For my work wife [or husband] on Valentine's Day. I've finally found someone just as inappropriate as me!"
The woman filming the video gives the cards a thumbs down and asks, "Who approved this???"
Internet users largely seemed to agree in the comment section, trashing the cards as crossing the line.
"HR [Human Resources] will be busy this month," one comment said.
"Why not just make an affair partner card?" another asked.
Over on X, several commentators argued that being married and having a "work spouse" was foolish and dangerous.
"If the terms 'work wife' and 'work husband' are harmless, why not call it 'work brother' or 'work sister'? Because it's not platonic," one person posted.
Christian conservative commentator Allie Beth Stuckey also criticized the idea: "Your spouse doesn't have a playful 'work wife' or 'work husband.' They're just cheating on you - emotionally or otherwise," she posted.
Former athlete and conservative commentator T.J. Moe also wrote, "The sanctity of marriage matters. Mocking it with the idea of a 'work wife' is foolishly self-sabotaging. If you have a shred of common sense, you will avoid this nonsense."
Fox News Digital spoke to relationship experts to get their take on the viral cards and whether it was harmless to have a "work spouse."
Dr. Robi Ludwig, a psychotherapist who works with married couples, said she thought the cards were inappropriate in the workplace and could invite misunderstanding or even be considered sexual harassment.
For those already in relationships, Ludwig said the biggest issue was that "husband" and "wife" suggests an intimate, unique relationship. To call someone else your spouse, even light-heartedly, could invite misunderstanding and threaten your primary relationship.
"It is playing with fire because it's labeling something in a way that dismisses appropriate boundaries," she said.
Relationship expert Susan Trombetti, CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, called the cards a "slippery slope" into "emotional affair" territory.
"I think they're treacherous," she said.
While there is nothing necessarily wrong with having a close relationship with a co-worker, she argued that when you start classifying that relationship in spousal terms, you're crossing a line and starting to invest emotionally in the relationship. That could be harmful to your career and your relationship outside the workplace.
"At the very least, I think it's micro cheating. And I definitely think it's an emotional affair," she added.
Manhattan psychotherapist Jonathan Alpert agreed, saying that giving a Valentine's card to a co-worker blurs the line between professional and personal and could signal a dangerous attachment to someone you're not married to.
"If you're giving your 'work spouse' a Valentine's card, you have to ask yourself—would you be comfortable if your real spouse saw it? If the answer is no, that's a red flag," he told Fox News Digital.
"In the best cases, a 'work spouse' is a close, platonic colleague who provides support in a stressful environment. But it can also create emotional dependencies that undermine real relationships. If you find yourself confiding in your 'work spouse' more than your actual partner, or keeping secrets, that's a problem," he said.
For married employees, having a work spouse could do more harm than good, he cautioned.
"At the end of the day, respect and honesty are key. If you wouldn't feel comfortable being upfront with your real spouse about your work spouse, then you probably need to take a step back and re-evaluate those boundaries," he added.