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호주 뉴스 3분 브리핑: 2025년 6월 25일 수요일

호주 뉴스 3분 브리핑: 2025년 6월 25일 수요일

SBS Australia4 days ago

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Real problem with young Aussies living at home longer
Real problem with young Aussies living at home longer

News.com.au

time28 minutes ago

  • News.com.au

Real problem with young Aussies living at home longer

OPINION When did you have a really good chat with your kids? I mean a real conversation - screen-free, face-to-face, in the same room. Recent statistics from the Australian government's annual Household, Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia (HILDA) Report reveal that the nation's children are living longer with their parents than they ever have before. In 2024, just over half of young men (54 per cent) and 47 per cent of young women aged 18 to 29 years old are still living under the same roof as their parents. That's mostly a factor of a rising cost of living, falling incomes and higher property prices preventing that first home purchase. It would be reasonable to assume that this forced proximity was seeing families remain closer for longer, but it's more likely for young adults 'living at home' actually seems to mean living in their own room. They'll perhaps emerge for a meal from time to time, but if they are home rather than out and about, they're more likely to be unavailable for the rest of the family. Some of that remoteness is due to screens. They don't need to go out to socialise. If their friends are unavailable, they can still chat online, or scroll and be virtually part of the crowd, even when they are not together. We know that young people use social media as the source of information nowadays, so they are much less likely to turn to their parent for anything, even when they continue to live at home. Living at home does not guarantee the ongoing family cosiness that may be implied by the term. This can be very confusing for the parents. It used to be 'my house, my rules – if you don't like it, you can leave' – and that used to work. For a range of social reasons, though, young people are now staying at home even when they are now adults, living their own lives, making their own decisions and often in serious relationships. Parents are learning the hard way that things have to change for them as well. Their adult children and they, together, have to re-evaluate and modify their relationship, so that they can live mutually satisfying lives. The only way to sort out the relationship is to talk about it. It is so easy to make assumptions about the other, and the ideas we have about our parents, for instance, can be so wrong. We will only discover what is going to work by talking about it. Then there is the trial and error, the progress towards independence that is vital if the young adult is to live an effective life. Parents have to learn to let go. Parents have to recognise when the nest is empty, even when it is blatantly still full. Parents have to change their own lives to ensure that meaning is found from sources other than parenting as such. Adult children are still our offspring, but we can't treat them as children. It is important that 'house rules' are no less significant in the family home than they are in share houses. Different models of contribution to the upkeep of the home, in terms of cleaning, buying food, cooking, eating together or apart, paying for utilities and even sometimes paying some rent, need to be discussed. Just as the kids don't owe the parents anything, just because they are the parents, the parents do not have to continue to care for children still living at home in the way they once did. Lack of financial ability to move out should not mean the young adult is infantilised. The changes need to be discussed in anticipation of the choices people make. There are some parents who need the children to leave home, in order to downsize and get on with the next stage of their own lives. Discuss. There are parents who love having the kids around, because it adds connection and joy to their own lives. Discuss. There are some parents who want things to remain as they always were – my house, my rules. Discuss. The hardest part may be getting the young person out of their room, off their screens, to have the first conversation. It is easier, of course, if there has always been conversation. Then it can flow naturally. However, for most of us, there have been expectations and when they are not met, that's when conversation is vital. When there is open conversation, there is less chance of resentment and the chance of finding the great joy of making a new adult relationship with the young people whom you have helped shape into independent, effective, adults - even as they continue to live under your roof. Amanda Gordon AM Hon FAPS is one of Australia's most respected clinical psychologists. Past President of the Australian Psychological Society, she has a private practice in Sydney, where she has helped hundreds of people.

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