Man strains girlfriend's mother's homemade soup to remove ginger: 'Where are your manners?'

Fox News

2 days ago

A baffled boyfriend drew the ire of his girlfriend after he picked through her mother's soup in an insulting way – sparking a social media firestorm.
Posting his story on a popular Reddit forum, the young man said the couple was visiting his girlfriend's mom's house when they were served seafood chowder.
"[My girlfriend's mom] made it once before and it was really good, but she add[ed] a few pieces of ginger to flavor it," he wrote.
"I really, really, really hate biting into ginger," he said. "I don't mind the flavor it imparts, I just hate the taste of actually eating a piece."
The boyfriend said that he once bit into a piece of ginger in her past soups and it "almost ruined the whole meal."
This time, the man said, he asked the mother if she used the root vegetable.
She replied that she did and forgot to pick the pieces out.
"She seemed genuinely apologetic about it," the man recalled. "I told her it was no problem and I had an idea."
He continued, "I saw a colander hanging on a rack on the kitchen counter and I went to the kitchen and strained the soup into another bowl (which I asked if I could grab) and picked out the couple pieces of ginger."
"The key to understanding the ginger dilemma is first understanding what the mother's intentions are in serving them [the] soup."
He then "dumped the remaining strained pieces of potato and fish and shrimp and scallops and stuff back into the liquid."
The man said, "I even [apologized] for the extra dishes and offered to help clean up afterward."
The girlfriend's mom didn't seem to mind at the moment, but the Redditor's quick-thinking did not please his partner — who was quiet during the drive home.
"She told me I didn't have to be such an a--hole and make a big show and dance about insulting her mom's food," he said.
But the boyfriend tried to defend his actions, saying he liked the food "except for a couple of ingredients."
"Still didn't smooth things over, though," he added.
The Reddit community nearly unanimously branded the boyfriend as rude and tone-deaf.
"This is … actually really embarrassing for you," one person wrote.
"No, you don't grab a strainer and do that. Where are your manners?"
"Picking them out of individual spoonfuls would have been much less dramatic," another added.
"Stop being so picky or just don't eat those things from your bowl," a third person said. "No, you don't grab a strainer and do that. Where are your manners?"
Carole Lieberman, M.D., a psychiatrist based in Beverly Hills, California, weighed in on the ginger dilemma.
The relationship expert described the boyfriend's behavior to Fox News Digital as a "red flag."
"Not just because it was rude, but because it signals a lack of awareness of other people's feelings, a need [for] control and self-centeredness," Lieberman said.
"The key to understanding the ginger dilemma is first understanding what the mother's intentions are in serving them [the] soup."
"What he did not only strained the soup, it strained their relationship."
A home-cooked meal, she observed, is a symbol of nurturance and affection – in this case, a mother's love.
"So, even though he reports that the mom didn't react like it was a big deal, when he hacked into and dismembered her soup, it was hurtful to her because it felt like he was rejecting her love," the psychiatrist said.
The boyfriend would have been better served if he quietly placed the ginger pieces to the side instead of making a dramatic gesture, Lieberman said.
"What he did not only strained the soup, it strained their relationship," she noted.
But the silver lining, Lieberman said, is that the boyfriend's intentions were pure.
"He didn't do these things to be rude," she concluded.
Instead, "he rationalized that he was being thoughtful in taking care of the ginger dilemma himself, rather than asking the mother to fix it."
Lieberman suggested that the girlfriend "should observe whether he is self-absorbed and controlling in other situations … before making any rash decisions about the relationship."