The Dos & Don'ts of Parties in the Digital Age

Vogue

08-07-2025

For better or worse (probably worse), the digital age has thoroughly reshaped the party experience. On one hand, tech-friendly tools like e-vites and Pinterest moodboards streamline and embellish hosting duties, while on the other, that omnipresent smartphone reliably jerks the focus away from connecting with your fellow fête-ers. The art of entertaining has always been an elusive quality to master regardless of era, but now, it's all the more fickle a beast.
And while there's no silver bullet solution to healing the party circuit of its information-age-woes, there are experts who know a thing or two about reinstating elegance and presence to festive environments—Carmen Haid being one of them. As the vintage curator and founder of Atelier Mayer, as well as a seasoned hostess (and guest), here, Haid demystifies how to throw a successful shindig in the 21st century. Ahead, her dos and don'ts for parties in the digital age.
Do: Match Your Invite to the Mood
Depending on the formality of your event, your invitation should match the mood. For casual soirées, a chic WhatsApp message, a curated broadcast list, or a tasteful email will do the trick.
Don't: Forget to BCC
Be sure to send invites individually, not en masse in a group chat or email, and always keep addresses private. Nobody needs another inbox flooded with messages from strangers.
Do: Opt for Paperless Post
A well-crafted digital invitation sets the scene before anyone arrives. Personally, Paperless Post remains the gold standard. Think of it as the Hermès of evites: customizable, elegant, and blissfully efficient at collecting RSVPs without fuss.
Don't: Neglect Your RSVP (Even If It's Digital)
RSVP stands for the French phrase, répondez s'il vous plait, which means 'please respond.' If a host asks for an RSVP, you are expected to respond whether you are attending or not. Silence is not mysterious, it's simply impolite.
Don't: Assume Everyone Is Digitally Fluent
Not everyone wants to scan a QR code. Provide analogue alternatives: a printed menu, visible wine labels, or handwritten place cards never go out of style.
Do: Employ Your Apps
Ambience is half the experience. Consider candle light and live music such a piano, guitar, violin, percussion, tablas, harp. Alternatively, you can use a music app to queue a playlist. Spotify and SoundCloud have elegant options—just make sure it's ad-free.
Don't: Forget to Mic Check
Smart lights, Bluetooth speakers, and virtual assistants are all lovely until your Wi-Fi fails. Test your tech, light and sound before guests arrive. An atmosphere dimmed because of a tech glitch is simply not recommended.
Do: Read the Room
When entering a private event or home, do not whip out your phone like a paparazzo at Cannes. Always ask before photographing people or interiors. What is charming to you might be deeply personal to someone else.