"You Should Never Allow This": Men Are Revealing What They Secretly Believe Are The Most Common Mistakes Women Make In Relationships, And There's A Lot To Unpack Here

Yahoo

14 hours ago

It's totally normal for people to make mistakes. After all, we can learn a lot when things go wrong. But when I saw strawberryduck404 ask, "What are common mistakes women make in relationships?" in the r/AskMen subreddit a few days ago, I wanted to share their responses to see what you think. Here are some of the top answers below.
1."The most common mistake I've seen is women dating men with the intention of changing them into someone else. Date people you like instead of people you think you can turn into people you like."
—Esseratecades
2."You are not the prize. He is not the prize. The relationship is the prize."
—thecountnotthesaint
3."Taking relationship advice from friends who are single, divorced, or unable to stay in long-term relationships."
—Queasy-Grass4126
4."In general, women tend to communicate more by hints, subtext, tone of voice, and body language than men do. This can lead to a lot of misunderstanding. If you want him to know something, the best approach is to tell him with words."
—bh4th
"Yes, communicate clearly, say exactly what you mean, so they then do the thing you want, and not guess or assume. Also, things like expecting or demanding empathy, then telling the guy to man up when he's in a situation that requires empathy from you, when you've experienced that, it changes you as a person.
When you have children, treat everyone in the family equally, don't make the man feel like he's on the outside when it comes to important things like health, empathy, love, respect, and compassion."
—altredticklshwarrior
5."Not allowing him to have his own interests, hobbies, and alone time. We don't hate you because we don't want to spend every waking hour with you. We need space as well."
—MashedTomat1
6."Letting your insecurities play havoc and kill it."
—ColdCamel7
7."Don't compare your relationship to one you see online; they aren't you, and most of the time, it's put on anyway. I had a relationship go downhill because she started comparing us to relationships she had seen on TikTok and started complaining that I wasn't buying her flowers every day like this random TikTok couple, like bouquets aren't expensive, and I'm made of money or something."
—CrudeCardinal
8."This might be more my own thing, but it could apply to others: Reward the behavior you want to see profusely with compliments or thank you notes, hugs, etc. However, it should be verbal, tying your appreciation to whatever the act was."
"I say this because some relationships I had started to lose steam, and I think a lot of it was because she expected me to initiate a lot (in the bedroom and out), which is fine, but there has to be a lot of positive feedback when things are going right, or that behavior will fade."
—Jetpine9
9."Making assumptions instead of just talking to him. For example, he's not ignoring you; he probably just didn't hear you."
—adhdBoomeringue
10."Accepting attention from other men. You should never allow this. Never share sexual information about him with your girlfriends. Never complain about him to your girlfriends; complain to him, then work to fix the issue with him."
—BasebornBastard
11."One common mistake is losing yourself in the relationship. People tend to put so much focus on their partner's needs that they forget their own. I find that it often comes from love, but over time, it can lead to burnout or feeling like you're performing instead of just being present. (I learned this the hard way.) If anything, don't shape yourself around how men see things. Shape yourself around what's true for you, and build a rhythm with your partner from there. Don't strive to be perfect, just to be real and present."
—Defiant_Sir767
"Great advice. I also learned this the hard way, and was burned pretty badly as a result. It's important to have shared hopes and dreams that are made up from both halves, regardless of how firm each person is in what they want."
—VolcanicAsh1586
12."The biggest mistake I see on social media is: 'He should think like me.' Men don't know what it's like to be a woman. We don't know what it's like to have cramps, be on a period, have a vagina, or female instincts. Most men aren't even going to try to guess what being female is like. Yet, I see post after post from women who are miserable in their relationships, thinking they understand what it's like to be a man, and he should know what I'm thinking. While women who are happy in their relationships acknowledge they have no idea what it's like to walk around with a thing dangling from your crotch, testosterone running through your body, and having a male brain that just doesn't work like a female brain."
—artnodiv
13."Hopping into a new relationship shortly after a messy breakup, thinking it will fix everything. It won't, and we get sick of hearing every sentence start with 'My ex…'"
—bounty_hunter_68
14."Belittling, weaponizing, and insulting his vulnerabilities. Also, sharing this with other people without his consent. Not including a therapist, of course."
—Deep-Youth5783
15.And finally, "Tolerating a loser."
—insonobcino
Men, is there a common mistake you often see women make? Or if you're a woman, tell us what you think the most common mistake men make when it comes to dating, too. Share your answers either anonymously in the Google Form or directly in the comments below.