Mystery illness nearly derailed my career – I was told to give up acting, reveals Gavin & Stacey star Laura Aikman
LAURA'S BATTLE Mystery illness nearly derailed my career – I was told to give up acting, reveals Gavin & Stacey star Laura Aikman
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AS a young actress, Laura Aikman would get so stressed about her career she was advised to walk away to rescue her health.
The Gavin & Stacey star, now one of Britain's most in-demand actresses, suffered a mystery pain for years.
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Laura Aikman would get so stressed about her career when she was younger that she was advised to walk away to rescue her health
Credit: Shutterstock Editorial
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Laura as bad girl Sonia alongside James Corden in Gavin & Stacey
Credit: BBC
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The star appeared on Disney+ drama Suspect: The Shooting of Jean Charles de Menezes
Credit: Des Willie
She was finally diagnosed with autoimmune disease ulcerative colitis, made worse by the worry she faced between roles.
But Laura stuck with the job and is now having her best year to date, appearing in BBC gangster series This City Is Ours and Disney+ drama Suspect: The Shooting Of Jean Charles de Menezes, in which she plays whistleblower Lana Vandenberghe.
Laura has also a found a work-life balance to keep her condition, which causes inflammation and ulcers in her colon, under control.
The 39-year-old said: 'It took me a long time to get diagnosed. Before I got the diagnosis I was very, very unwell and I didn't know why.
'I'd been to the doctors a lot and they kept telling me that it was probably piles, without examining me, and giving me cream because I had blood in my stool. Nothing worked.
'And then I went to a homeopath and she asked me all of these questions about when I'd been poorly and she was like, 'Listen, I've written out a timeline here of when you've not been working, and that is when you've been at your most unwell'.
'She was like, 'Can you do another job?'. And I said, 'No, it's my whole personality.'
'It was a big wake-up call that it was literally making me unwell, the stress of not working and feeling like I wasn't good enough or didn't have anything going on.
'Blame and shame'
'I placed so much of my self-worth and my confidence and even who I was on being an actor and whether I was working.
'Going to family parties at Christmas, everyone's saying, 'What are you up to?'. Like, absolutely nothing. And it can feel like you're letting everyone down.
Watch the moment Gavin and Stacey actress Laura Aikman's family found out she was in the finale after keeping it secret
'I think if all of your self-worth is wrapped up in working and then you're not working, you feel like you don't deserve anything.
'I had to actively find other things in my life that gave me self-worth or made me feel important, so I could keep going regardless of whether I was working.'
Laura was back as bad girl Sonia in the BBC's hit Christmas special of Gavin & Stacey last year, while in 2023 her role as Dyan Cannon in Archie, an ITV series about Hollywood icon Carey Grant, saw her on billboards in New York's Times Square.
To outsiders, her career has hit the heights, but the North London-born actress says that for years she felt a cycle of 'blame, shame and punishment' because she was not quite 'perfect enough'.
She told the Women & Wellbeing podcast: 'When you're starting out, you're like, I have to be everything they want. I have to change who I am to fit. I need to be perfect.
'I kind of struggled up until I was maybe in my mid-twenties with what people wanted me to be as a girl, a woman, in this industry and how I needed to present myself.
'I can remember going to auditions and needing to do the lines exactly as they wanted in the blandest way possible, to try to fit whatever I thought the mould was.
'I probably wasn't getting the best parts when I was doing that. I never would, when I was younger, even speak to a producer.
'I would just try to stay under the radar, do my job.
I kind of struggled up until I was maybe in my mid-twenties with what people wanted me to be as a girl, a woman, in this industry and how I needed to present myself
'I'm sure I missed out on loads of work because I did absolutely zero networking. But it was that kind of thing — you're lucky to be there, shut up, look pretty, leave. Find everyone very funny, especially the men, and then go home.'
With her 40th birthday coming up later this year, Laura has found a new sense of freedom.
She explained: 'I feel like where I am now people are almost disinterested in how I look.
'So lucky'
'I've been so lucky with the parts that I've played recently where, even though some of them have been very glamorous women, it's not about me looking beautiful.
'It's about how that person presents themselves.'
But she still never takes anything for granted, saying: 'I feel like possibly the last few years I've been able to play some bigger roles in slightly higher profile shows.
'You go through those peaks and troughs in your career where you think, 'Oh, maybe this is it', then it isn't. So I thought, 'Oh, maybe' at the moment, and then I'm sure I'll slide back down again soon.'
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Laura in her 2023 role as Dyan Cannon in Archie
Credit: Planet Photos
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The in-demand actress also starred in This City Is Ours
Credit: BBC
Laura grew up in an acting family. Her dad, Stuart Aikman — known as Stuart St Paul — is a stunt director and her mum Jean Heard is also an actress.
She is married to actor Matt Kennard, 43, who has appeared in Emmerdale and Coronation Street.
Laura got her big break in 1996 film Surviving Picasso, opposite Anthony Hopkins, before going on to appear in a string of movies as well as TV series including Casualty, Death In Paradise and The Split.
Despite her struggles with confidence, she loves playing fiery and dominant women, saying: 'My dream is to play women that are as different as possible.
"I feel happiest when I'm the furthest away from myself. These last few jobs have been big swings, especially Rachel in This City Is Ours. She's the ultimate Scouse girl, she's tough.
'I do think when you play someone like that and then you step out of it, there's part of you that's like, maybe I could be a little bit more tough.
'They sort of rub off on you a little bit, just like you learn from your friends.'
Away from the camera, Laura has trained to become a counsellor with mental health text service Shout.
Be kind to yourself when you're not feeling good and just try and do the things that make you feel good
She said: 'It's brilliant. You can do a shift whenever you want. People text in when they're in crisis.
'Obviously that's more helpful to society than me getting a job in a TV commercial.'
And she concentrates on exercising for her health — not just for her body image — to help deal with her ulcerative colitis.
She added: 'I drink less now. I'm no saint, I absolutely get smashed at least once a year, I just fall completely off the wagon. But I will always leave a night out early these days.
'I'm just a bit more boring than I used to be. But overall, it really makes me feel much better.'
When she is not working, Matt, who she married six years ago, encourages her to relax.
She said: 'He is so chilled out and very even-keeled, he's a cool guy.
'I think he has also been really instrumental in encouraging me to allow myself, if I've not got anything on, to be like, 'Why don't you go to the cinema?'.
'I'm like, 'Just go and spend money on a day when I haven't got a job?'. He'll be like, 'Yeah, just go and do something nice for yourself'. And she has taken notice.
Laura said: 'I think you can be so fooled by hearing other people talk about what they do, to think that they're perfect — and they're not. They're probably falling spectacularly off the wagon.
'So I think be kind to yourself when you're not feeling good and just try and do the things that make you feel good.'
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Laura in the BBC's hit Christmas special of Gavin & Stacey last year
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