Latest news with #AlysonCurtis
Yahoo
21-07-2025
- Health
- Yahoo
Influencers Still Do This Disturbing Body-Negative Behavior. But It Helps To Recognize It.
Let's have a check-in about body checking. Even if you don't know this behavior by name, you've probably seen it modeled by influencers. In a looks-obsessed space like social media — and a cultural moment like the present, in which discourse surrounding weight loss drugs is unavoidable and #SkinnyTok content is so ubiquitous that TikTok banned the hashtag — repeatedly scrutinizing your appearance and documenting it online isn't a big stretch. In fact, on the fitness side of TikTok, explicit 'body checks' are super common, even normalized. But just because a behavior is common doesn't mean it's safe or healthy. Left unchecked, body checking can take a serious toll on your mental and even physical health. It's usually a result of negative thoughts about your body. Often, it's connected to eating disorders or body dysmorphia. Here's everything you need to know about this dangerous behavior, including what it is, how to spot it and what to do if you keep seeing it online or can't stop doing it IRL. What is body checking? Body checking is a repetitive, compulsive behavior 'used to gather feedback about one's body shape, weight, or size,' Keesha Amezcua, LMFT, CEDS-C, clinical director at the eating disorder treatment facility Alsana, tells HuffPost. It can look like many different things. However, it's usually centered around a body part or aspect of your physical appearance that's a source of insecurity. Common examples include obsessively looking at yourself in the mirror and scrutinizing your body, using your clothes or accessories to 'measure' parts of your body, or repeatedly capturing full-body videos or photos of yourself to check how you look in real-time. (Fitness influencers who constantly post body check videos under the guise of recording their progress, we're looking at you.) To be clear: Periodically catching a glimpse of your reflection isn't body checking. Taking a selfie to see how your outfit looks before you leave the house isn't body checking, either. Neither example is inherently repetitive, obsessive, or tinged by negative self-image — three key characteristics that differentiate body checking from simply looking at yourself or feeling self-conscious. According to Alyson Curtis, MA, LMHC, a therapist who specializes in eating disorders and body image, body checking becomes a genuine concern when it affects a person's ability to be present in their everyday life. So, if you went out to dinner with your friends, but your evening was ruined because you couldn't stop adjusting your dress or hyper-fixating on how your arms looked? 'That's a problem,' Curtis tells HuffPost. In some cases, body checking can be a sign of disordered eating or body dysmorphia. Anecdotally, body checking is frequently (but not always) linked to eating disorders, such as anorexia, bulimia, or binge-eating and body dysmorphic disorder (BDD). Academic researchers have also established a connection between this behavior and feelings of dissatisfaction with one's body, as well as disordered eating patterns consistent with eating disorder pathology. People who struggle with eating disorders or BDD typically have a highly negative, deeply skewed perception of what their body looks like. Consciously or not, body checking gives them a sense of control. It's a way to perpetually monitor their appearance and look out for any real or perceived fluctuations. However, since it stems from fears and insecurities, 'body checking only serves to intensify these negative feelings,' Amezcua said. In some cases, body checking can worsen an existing case of BDD or even lead to an eating disorder that wasn't present from the jump. 'It's a really slippery slope,' Curtis said, 'and some of us are more vulnerable than others.' For context, eating disorders will impact an estimated 9% of all Americans at some point in their life. They can be deadly, so it's important to seek help from a mental health professional if you think you're dealing with one. Curtis works with many clients who bring up body checking in sessions. Treatment modalities for this behavior run the gamut and depend on severity as well as an individual's level of anxiety or distress. For example, if a client can't stop body checking because they don't like how their clothes look, Curtis might first recommend shopping for new clothes that fit in a way they find comfortable or flattering. In general, though, 'the earlier the invention, the better,' she said. 'Body checking alone can be very distressing, but compulsive body checking is most likely connected to other disordered behaviors,' Amezcua adds. 'No one needs to suffer alone.' What to do if you see body checking in your Instagram feed (or do it yourself). 'Social media is definitely an agitator for those who already struggle with body image issues,' Curtis said. It's no surprise that body checks are so common on platforms like TikTok or Instagram. Since it seems relatively innocuous — at least compared to more overt examples of dangerous, disordered thinking, such as pro-ana content — this behavior may not raise concern immediately. That's why it's helpful to be aware of what it looks like. As for what you should do if you notice that an influencer you follow is body checking? Consider muting or unfollowing them. At the very least, take it as a sign to think more critically about who you follow and the kind of content you consume online. 'There is so much toxic information and imagery out there,' Amezcua adds, 'and we all know that mindless scrolling can lead to increased anxiety and decreased self-worth... If someone is dealing with body image issues or food struggles, it can be helpful to examine their relationship with social media and get curious about how their screen time impacts their overall well-being.' Curtis echoes the sentiment. The unfortunate truth is that conventional beauty standards (and the widespread pressure to abide by them) aren't going anywhere. 'Recurrent body checking can be one of the first indicators that the pressure to conform is getting its hooks in you,' Curtis said. 'Bring curiosity and care to it and when in doubt, seek out a therapist for further support.' To that end, if you catch yourself body checking and it's becoming repetitive or compulsive, then it's time to get help from a mental health professional. Consider working with a therapist who specializes in eating disorders or body image. Many online directories allow you to filter by specialty when you're searching for a provider. If you're struggling with an eating disorder, call or text 988 or chat for support. Related... Experts Say These 7 Subtle Behaviors Might Be 'Bigorexia' In Disguise 'Orthorexia' Is More And More Common. Here's What You Should Know About It. Inside The Body Image Movement That Doesn't Focus On Your Appearance
Yahoo
20-05-2025
- Health
- Yahoo
The Rise of the Revenge Meal: Why Parents Are Sneaking Off to Secretly Snack
Revenge bedtime procrastination—the late-night hours parents spend scrolling TikTok or bingeing Hulu after the kids are asleep—is a well-known phenomenon. But now, a quieter trend is taking hold in exhausted households nationwide: revenge meals. Revenge meals are rarely glamorous. They might involve candy stashed under napkins in car armrests, venti-sized frappuccinos between daycare drop-off and the office, or double cheeseburgers eaten in secret. Similar to revenge bedtime procrastination, these meals offer a sense of control. For many parents, they represent one of the few moments in a day not dictated by their children's routines, needs, or preferences. 'The pervasive self-neglect due to the demands of parenthood has significant consequences. Revenge meals, or revenge eating, is one of those consequences,' explains Alyson Curtis, a New York licensed mental health counselor and the owner of Attuned Therapy in New York City. While their children eat curated, nutrient-rich meals, parents often sneak their food to enjoy an uninterrupted bite. The rationale is simple: if the children receive the "right" meals, parents may feel entitled to eat something free from judgment. Recent data reinforces this trend. According to the 2025 Parents Food Study, eight out of ten parents prioritize their children's health over their own. In their efforts to nourish their families, many overlook their personal needs until the only available option is a quiet act of rebellion through food. Modern parenting often requires navigating dietary restrictions, allergies, and the pressures of social media and peer parenting culture. From dairy-free dinners to allergen-friendly snacks and sugar-free desserts, the effort to meet children's nutritional needs is substantial. Unfortunately, the demands of caregiving can be depleting, and feeding children is rarely a one-size-fits-all task. Two-thirds of parents report having a picky eater at home, and 53% say they prepare different meals for different family members. Although only 39% of parents report letting their children eat junk food regularly, many admit indulging in private. These foods serve as guilt-free pick-me-ups and stress relievers, used as tools for temporary self-soothing. Barry Vanderable, a father of teens in California, shares: 'I have a bag of chips that I keep in the trunk of my car. If I took those chips [into] the house, they would be gone in a day. I will give my kids the last piece of chicken, but that bag of chips in my trunk, absolutely not.' The behavior is not about hypocrisy. It stems from parents' relentless energy to ensure their children eat well, often despite picky tastes or medical needs. 'If you're out there sneaking a burger in the car or a pint of ice cream alone at midnight, I see you, and you are not alone. It's really not about hunger,' says medical advisor Dr. Charles Sweet, a board-certified psychiatrist and medical advisor for Linear Health. 'It's more so tied to the idea of having free will. By revenge eating, you're sort of reclaiming control and pleasure, even if only for a couple of minutes. It can also be referred to as 'reactive self-care.'' Dr. Sweet agrees this happens when parents are chronically stressed and unconsciously turn to quick fixes (like food) to self-soothe. Revenge meal parents just want something simple, comforting, and explanation-free. 'There is something so basic but healing about sitting in the parking lot, putting the windows down on a nice day, turning on some Beyoncé, savoring a fountain Diet Coke, and slowly eating my meal. No sticky hands, fights, spills, or asking for 'just a bite' while they ignore their own food. It's a mini moment of self-care,' said Maryland mother Jillian Douglas. It is important to emphasize that revenge meals are a response. A quiet act of resistance against the mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion that caregiving often demands. But this coping mechanism can also be a signal of other, deeper challenges, such as anxiety and depression. Curtis explains, 'The idea of revenge meals sounds awfully similar to the disordered eating that I see with my clients in private practice. However, the roots differ. In disordered eating, the catalyst is often driven by pressures to fit into conventional beauty ideals. The individual begins eating less, and this creates food insecurity within them. They become more obsessed with food, and eventually it leads to binge eating.' But revenge meals reflect how often parents feel invisible or undervalued in their homes. When daily routines revolve around meeting the needs of others, it becomes easy to lose touch with personal needs. Over time, that disconnection can dull natural hunger cues, making skipped meals feel normal. Eventually, eating in secret becomes a way to reclaim physical and emotional nourishment. Eventually, guilt follows when those indulgent foods are eaten in isolation. That guilt can deepen the cycle, turning what started as self-care into self-reproach. In more severe cases, this ongoing pattern may erode a parent's relationship with food, leading to emotional or disordered eating that feels increasingly difficult to name, let alone break. Curtis continues, 'The body doesn't recognize if a famine is self-induced or not. It just knows when it's been getting less food than normal, and it freaks out a bit. In so, revenge eating resembles the restriction/binge cycle mechanisms. Essentially, not eating enough triggers the body to suddenly and desperately want to consume a lot of food to make up for it. It's a survival instinct, even when it doesn't seem like it.' Amber Ginn, a certified lactation consultant and the founder and CEO of The Latchlink, works with breastfeeding moms nationwide. She sees this exact pattern all the time. Moms are running on fumes (managing feedings, pumping, laundry, work, and toddler chaos), and somewhere along the way, they forget to eat. Then the baby finally goes down, the house is quiet, and suddenly they're inhaling fast food in the car like it's sacred. 'Most of the moms I support are massively underfed. They're not eating enough protein, they're skipping meals, and they're living off granola bars and caffeine. So, of course, they're going to crave something indulgent by the end of the day. Their bodies are asking for real fuel, and their brains are desperate for a break. That's not just hunger. That's a form of survival. It's a moment of autonomy in a day that wasn't theirs,' Ginn explained. Related: Best Foods for Breastfeeding Parents There are ways to disrupt this pattern. The first step is acknowledging that parents deserve satisfying and intentional meals. Not just to function, but to feel good. This shift begins by allowing oneself to eat regularly and with enjoyment. 'Of course, you must do what you have to do to survive parenthood, but it's critical to remember that your mental health matters too and that your ability to parent effectively rests on your own well-being,' says Curtis. For those who find themselves skipping meals, it may help to reflect on the reasons behind it. Are they exhausted, overwhelmed, or stuck on autopilot? Identifying the reasons behind revenge meal eating can help determine if the root cause is mental, emotional, physical, or nutritional. Nevertheless, here are a handful of solutions for them all: Challenge 'should' thoughts around eating and nutrition that stem from social media. Eat real, nourishing food earlier in the day, not just late at night. Accept that emotional eating is common and often tied to burnout, decision fatigue, or loss of autonomy. Incorporate tiny joys like a short walk, a podcast, journaling, or music alone in the car as non-food-based coping. Seek professional help if needed. Caregivers deserve regular, nonjudgmental support. Dr. Sweet advises: 'It's so important to practice self-compassion and proper self-care. You're not a bad parent for wanting a moment to yourself. That need is human, and it's totally valid. But it definitely helps if you notice the pattern. Try to consider if you're eating because you're actually hungry, or because you're overwhelmed or exhausted.' And lastly, a quote to live by: 'Everything in moderation.' When children see their caregivers enjoy indulgent meals from time to time, take time for themselves, and view food as a source of nourishment instead of guilt or reward, they adopt those behaviors. The most impactful lesson a child can learn is that food is something to be enjoyed: openly, peacefully, and without apology. Read the original article on Parents
Yahoo
24-04-2025
- Health
- Yahoo
Are you the firstborn, middle child or baby of the family? Your place in the birth order affects your health.
While birth order is known to influence people's personality traits and behavior, whether you're the cautious first-born or the risk-taking youngest child, that's not the only way it affects your life. Research suggests it may also affect some aspects of your health, including your immune system, obesity risk, anxiety levels and more. 'Although health outcomes are influenced by myriad factors, an individual's personality traits, coping mechanisms and stress management, which greatly impact overall well-being, are layered by the intricate role of birth order,' Dr. Michael Valdez, medical director of Detox California, tells Yahoo Life. Whether you're the oldest child, the youngest or are right in the middle (and even if you're an only child), here are some of the surprising ways birth order can have an impact on your physical and mental health. First-born children tend to be responsible, or rule followers. They often take on the caretaking role among their siblings. They can be prone to worry and are often seen as mature for their age. They are known to be comfortable taking charge. One study found that CEOs are more likely to be the first-born child. Another showed they are more likely to get higher education and make more money than their younger siblings. But being first-born doesn't necessarily mean an easy life start. One study found that firstborns were more likely to be born preterm and with lower birth weight compared to their later-born siblings. However, this gets balanced out because parents tend to be more attentive with their firstborn when it comes to doctor's visits and preventive care than their subsequent children — specifically, the study authors found that 'earlier-born children are more likely to participate in preventive medical screenings, their vaccine uptake rates are higher and they see their general practitioner (GP) or pediatrician more often.' Researchers say that, as parents have more children, this may change likely due to waning resources, including time and money. Beyond the physical health aspects, Alyson Curtis, a New York-based therapist and founder of Attuned Therapy, says that because they're born first, the oldest sibling is often 'parentified,' or pushed into a parent-like role. For girls, there's even a specific term for this — eldest daughter syndrome, which describes the disproportionate responsibility often given to the oldest girl in the family. 'Essentially, the eldest child grows up too fast as a form of survival,' Curtis tells Yahoo Life. 'They learned at a young age that taking care of others is where their self-worth lies since that is what their caregiver valued in them.' Because of this, older siblings may end up being more 'conscientious or careful, possibly because of the higher expectations placed on them, and may be more proactive in managing their health,' Claudia Giolitti-Wright, founder of Psychotherapy for Young Women, tells Yahoo Life. But this kind of upbringing can have 'dangerous implications on their mental health,' says Curtis. A report from Epic Research published in 2024 found that the oldest children were 48% more likely to have anxiety and 35% more likely to have depression than those who came later in the birth order. Ah, the middle child. If you are one, then you already know the struggle of being overlooked and forgotten. There's even a term for it: middle child syndrome. Sandwiched between the responsible eldest and the free-spirited youngest, middle children tend to be the peacemaking mediators of the family. While they can be people pleasers, they are also known to be rebels who try to carve out their own path. Research shows middle children engage in riskier behavior than their older siblings. It might be a tough place in the birth order, but being the in-between also has its benefits. A large study published in February showed that middle children ranked highest in honesty, kindness and cooperation. Still, Giolitti-Wright says she has seen patterns of self-silencing and feeling overlooked in middle children. They 'tend to ignore their needs because it wasn't ever about them.' This can affect mental well-being, sometimes manifesting as anxiety or depression, especially if the middle child's role in the family wasn't clearly defined or validated, adds Giolitti-Wright. When it comes to physical health, middle children tend to have better immune systems than the oldest because of the early exposure to germs. Youngest children are often seen as charming free spirits. As the babies of the family, no matter their age, they are generally given more leniency than their older siblings. They are known to be fun, rebellious risk-takers. The good news for the youngest ones is that they, just like middle children, tend to have better immunity than their oldest sibling thanks to the germs they are exposed to from the get-go, early and often. This is known as the Hygiene Hypothesis. One paper found that younger siblings are less likely to have asthma and allergies than their oldest sibling, while other research suggests that having older siblings is associated with a lower risk of food allergies. Still, while the oldest sibling tends to have worse health outcomes at birth, that role switches as kids get older, with research showing that younger siblings are more likely to have hospitalizations because of risky behavior, including accidental injuries and drug use. While youngest siblings are often indulged for being 'the baby' or the "protected" one, they 'might receive less one-on-one medical attention simply because parents are stretched thinner or less anxious than they were with their first child,' says Giolitti-Wright. When it comes to mental health, Curtis says younger siblings can be prone to struggles with self-esteem and self-efficacy. 'Essentially, the pervasive dynamic of 'coming last' to older siblings leads to a reduced sense of one's own abilities,' she says. 'When you consistently can't influence outcomes due to the developmental disadvantage of being last in the birth order, you adapt by 'going with the flow.'' A younger sibling may go on to be an adult who speaks up less, continues Curtis, believing that their opinion doesn't matter as much because it didn't when they were learning how the world worked. 'A self-fulfilling prophecy is then enacted over and over again, creating a vicious cycle, wherein the individual doesn't feel very powerful in their own life. … These types of thoughts have the capacity to alter one's entire life, from what profession they choose to what kind of partner they marry,' says Curtis. Are only children really "lonely onlys"? The idea of being an only child has strangely gotten a bad reputation in the past, even gaining the term 'only child syndrome.' This refers to the idea that children who do not have siblings are bossy, spoiled, selfish and lack coping skills. But there isn't much evidence to support this claim. 'One of the benefits I often see in both research and my own clinical work is that only children tend to be highly verbal, mature for their age and comfortable in adult spaces,' says Giolitti-Wright. 'They're often great at entertaining themselves, thinking creatively and developing a strong sense of identity because they've had a lot of solo time and adult interaction growing up.' Still, if an only child comes from a dysfunctional household, Curtis says this is where things can get tricky. 'I … see in my practice how only children take a greater hit coming from households with complex trauma than their counterparts who had siblings. … Siblings can be a life vest for any intense pressure or dysfunction the parents are knowingly or unknowingly putting on the children.' Like first-born children, research shows only children are more prone to anxiety and depression. 'Only children may have better access to resources but might also carry higher pressure to excel,' says Giolitti-Wright. When it comes to physical health, research suggests there's a link between only children (and last-born children) and a higher risk of obesity in childhood and adulthood. In another study, researchers found that only and last-born children are more likely to be overweight or obese if their mothers tended to discourage them from eating and were less likely to praise them during meals. While birth order can influence a person's life, there are no absolutes, Amy McCready, founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, tells Yahoo Life. 'As parents, we have tremendous power to help our kids avoid falling into those common stereotypes through the way we interact with them.' When it comes to their kids, McCready says it's important for parents to try and avoid labels and comparisons, which can pigeonhole kids into roles in which they feel stuck, even into adulthood. Instead, celebrate individual strengths. Next, check in with them. 'It's not just what we do, it's how our kids interpret it,' McCready says. She suggests asking: 'How do you feel about the jobs we each have in the family?' and 'Do you ever feel like I expect more from you than your siblings?' For families with multiple children, it's important to 'prioritize one-on-one time,' says McCready. 'Even just 10 or 15 minutes fosters deep emotional connection and helps each child feel truly seen, heard and valued. Because it's one-on-one, your child doesn't have to compete with siblings for your attention — they get you all to themselves, reinforcing their sense of belonging and significance, no matter their birth order.'
Yahoo
24-04-2025
- Health
- Yahoo
Are you the firstborn, middle child or baby of the family? Your place in the birth order affects your health.
While birth order is known to influence people's personality traits and behavior, whether you're the cautious first-born or the risk-taking youngest child, that's not the only way it affects your life. Research suggests it may also affect some aspects of your health, including your immune system, obesity risk, anxiety levels and more. 'Although health outcomes are influenced by myriad factors, an individual's personality traits, coping mechanisms and stress management, which greatly impact overall well-being, are layered by the intricate role of birth order,' Dr. Michael Valdez, medical director of Detox California, tells Yahoo Life. Whether you're the oldest child, the youngest or are right in the middle (and even if you're an only child), here are some of the surprising ways birth order can have an impact on your physical and mental health. First-born children tend to be responsible, or rule followers. They often take on the caretaking role among their siblings. They can be prone to worry and are often seen as mature for their age. They are known to be comfortable taking charge. One study found that CEOs are more likely to be the first-born child. Another showed they are more likely to get higher education and make more money than their younger siblings. But being first-born doesn't necessarily mean an easy life start. One study found that firstborns were more likely to be born preterm and with lower birth weight compared to their later-born siblings. However, this gets balanced out because parents tend to be more attentive with their firstborn when it comes to doctor's visits and preventive care than their subsequent children — specifically, the study authors found that 'earlier-born children are more likely to participate in preventive medical screenings, their vaccine uptake rates are higher and they see their general practitioner (GP) or pediatrician more often.' Researchers say that, as parents have more children, this may change likely due to waning resources, including time and money. Beyond the physical health aspects, Alyson Curtis, a New York-based therapist and founder of Attuned Therapy, says that because they're born first, the oldest sibling is often 'parentified,' or pushed into a parent-like role. For girls, there's even a specific term for this — eldest daughter syndrome, which describes the disproportionate responsibility often given to the oldest girl in the family. 'Essentially, the eldest child grows up too fast as a form of survival,' Curtis tells Yahoo Life. 'They learned at a young age that taking care of others is where their self-worth lies since that is what their caregiver valued in them.' Because of this, older siblings may end up being more 'conscientious or careful, possibly because of the higher expectations placed on them, and may be more proactive in managing their health,' Claudia Giolitti-Wright, founder of Psychotherapy for Young Women, tells Yahoo Life. But this kind of upbringing can have 'dangerous implications on their mental health,' says Curtis. A report from Epic Research published in 2024 found that the oldest children were 48% more likely to have anxiety and 35% more likely to have depression than those who came later in the birth order. Ah, the middle child. If you are one, then you already know the struggle of being overlooked and forgotten. There's even a term for it: middle child syndrome. Sandwiched between the responsible eldest and the free-spirited youngest, middle children tend to be the peacemaking mediators of the family. While they can be people pleasers, they are also known to be rebels who try to carve out their own path. Research shows middle children engage in riskier behavior than their older siblings. It might be a tough place in the birth order, but being the in-between also has its benefits. A large study published in February showed that middle children ranked highest in honesty, kindness and cooperation. Still, Giolitti-Wright says she has seen patterns of self-silencing and feeling overlooked in middle children. They 'tend to ignore their needs because it wasn't ever about them.' This can affect mental well-being, sometimes manifesting as anxiety or depression, especially if the middle child's role in the family wasn't clearly defined or validated, adds Giolitti-Wright. When it comes to physical health, middle children tend to have better immune systems than the oldest because of the early exposure to germs. Youngest children are often seen as charming free spirits. As the babies of the family, no matter their age, they are generally given more leniency than their older siblings. They are known to be fun, rebellious risk-takers. The good news for the youngest ones is that they, just like middle children, tend to have better immunity than their oldest sibling thanks to the germs they are exposed to from the get-go, early and often. This is known as the Hygiene Hypothesis. One paper found that younger siblings are less likely to have asthma and allergies than their oldest sibling, while other research suggests that having older siblings is associated with a lower risk of food allergies. Still, while the oldest sibling tends to have worse health outcomes at birth, that role switches as kids get older, with research showing that younger siblings are more likely to have hospitalizations because of risky behavior, including accidental injuries and drug use. While youngest siblings are often indulged for being 'the baby' or the "protected" one, they 'might receive less one-on-one medical attention simply because parents are stretched thinner or less anxious than they were with their first child,' says Giolitti-Wright. When it comes to mental health, Curtis says younger siblings can be prone to struggles with self-esteem and self-efficacy. 'Essentially, the pervasive dynamic of 'coming last' to older siblings leads to a reduced sense of one's own abilities,' she says. 'When you consistently can't influence outcomes due to the developmental disadvantage of being last in the birth order, you adapt by 'going with the flow.'' A younger sibling may go on to be an adult who speaks up less, continues Curtis, believing that their opinion doesn't matter as much because it didn't when they were learning how the world worked. 'A self-fulfilling prophecy is then enacted over and over again, creating a vicious cycle, wherein the individual doesn't feel very powerful in their own life. … These types of thoughts have the capacity to alter one's entire life, from what profession they choose to what kind of partner they marry,' says Curtis. Are only children really "lonely onlys"? The idea of being an only child has strangely gotten a bad reputation in the past, even gaining the term 'only child syndrome.' This refers to the idea that children who do not have siblings are bossy, spoiled, selfish and lack coping skills. But there isn't much evidence to support this claim. 'One of the benefits I often see in both research and my own clinical work is that only children tend to be highly verbal, mature for their age and comfortable in adult spaces,' says Giolitti-Wright. 'They're often great at entertaining themselves, thinking creatively and developing a strong sense of identity because they've had a lot of solo time and adult interaction growing up.' Still, if an only child comes from a dysfunctional household, Curtis says this is where things can get tricky. 'I … see in my practice how only children take a greater hit coming from households with complex trauma than their counterparts who had siblings. … Siblings can be a life vest for any intense pressure or dysfunction the parents are knowingly or unknowingly putting on the children.' Like first-born children, research shows only children are more prone to anxiety and depression. 'Only children may have better access to resources but might also carry higher pressure to excel,' says Giolitti-Wright. When it comes to physical health, research suggests there's a link between only children (and last-born children) and a higher risk of obesity in childhood and adulthood. In another study, researchers found that only and last-born children are more likely to be overweight or obese if their mothers tended to discourage them from eating and were less likely to praise them during meals. While birth order can influence a person's life, there are no absolutes, Amy McCready, founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, tells Yahoo Life. 'As parents, we have tremendous power to help our kids avoid falling into those common stereotypes through the way we interact with them.' When it comes to their kids, McCready says it's important for parents to try and avoid labels and comparisons, which can pigeonhole kids into roles in which they feel stuck, even into adulthood. Instead, celebrate individual strengths. Next, check in with them. 'It's not just what we do, it's how our kids interpret it,' McCready says. She suggests asking: 'How do you feel about the jobs we each have in the family?' and 'Do you ever feel like I expect more from you than your siblings?' For families with multiple children, it's important to 'prioritize one-on-one time,' says McCready. 'Even just 10 or 15 minutes fosters deep emotional connection and helps each child feel truly seen, heard and valued. Because it's one-on-one, your child doesn't have to compete with siblings for your attention — they get you all to themselves, reinforcing their sense of belonging and significance, no matter their birth order.'
