Latest news with #ChristineRafe
News.com.au
05-07-2025
- General
- News.com.au
Study exposes common text habit that could ruin your relationship
If you're someone who rolls their eyes at emojis or thinks they're a bit childish, it might be time to reconsider your texting style. Recent research has shown that avoiding those little icons in your messages could be quietly contributing to dissatisfaction in your relationship. A study from The University of Texas in Austin found that using emojis in your messages can make you appear more responsive and attentive to your partner, and even boost feelings of closeness and satisfaction in your relationship. Researchers recruited 260 adults aged 23 to 67, and asked them to imagine themselves as the sender in a series of 15 text exchanges and focus on their partner's replies. Half the messages included emojis, while the other half didn't – but all of the words in the texts were the same. It was found that partners who used emojis were perceived as more emotionally responsive, and their relationships were viewed as warmer and more fulfilling. It didn't matter what the emoji was – whether it was a smiley face or a love heart – it was simply their inclusion that made the difference. In the PLOS One journal, the researchers suggested that their findings might be explained by the fact that emojis convey emotions that could otherwise be hard to express through words, making messages feel more personal and meaningful. How to use emojis correctly If you're still sceptical, relationship experts say the emoji effect is real – but there is an art to using them correctly. Christine Rafe, sex and relationship expert for We-Vibe, said that misinterpreting the tone of a message is a common cause of conflict in a relationship, so she warns that adding emojis into the mix can make this even easier to do. 'Written communication like text messages is fraught with potential for misunderstanding emotional context, so it does make sense that emojis can effectively convey emotional tone when we aren't seeing a person's face or hearing their tone of voice,' she tells 'In saying that, every person's perspective on the use of emojis is different, and some folks feel that using emojis is inauthentic or sarcastic.' She says it's important to get on the same page as your partner. 'If there is a mismatch in perceptions of what conveys closeness, love, and emotional responsiveness in texts, this can definitely cause conflict and dissatisfaction,' she notes. But thankfully, this can be quite an easy fix. 'If you're often reading texts negatively, consider what you need for emotional tone to come across, and have an open chat with your partner about it. If you get curious and understand both you and your partner's texting styles, and explore what actually feels right for your relationship, you can find something that works for you both.' Clinical Psychologist and Tribal dating app founder, Rachel Harker, agrees that emojis are more than just playful icons in messages. 'They are powerful cues that can help convey tone, emotions, and intent, especially when body language and facial expressions aren't available,' she says. 'They can even be a 'secret language' between partners, deepening connection over time.' But she also emphasises the importance of being intentional with your emoji use and thinking about how and when they're used. 'One person's flirty wink might be another's sarcastic eye-roll,' she points out. 'Over time, these subtle mismatches can build up, leading someone to feel unseen or misunderstood, even if the intention was affectionate. 'Understanding each other's digital language, including emoji habits, is just as important as understanding love languages and in-person communication.' But she warns that emojis shouldn't replace genuine conversations. 'They work best when they complement text, not replace it,' she says.
Perth Now
18-06-2025
- Perth Now
Dating phenomenon Aussie women are losing their sh*t over
Women are losing their sh*t over a new dating phenomenon being used by Australian men — the 'gold digger test'. 'I've been on a few dates but this tactic shocked me,' one woman said on social media. It is sending single women across the nation — and the world — into a frenzy. A test where men sneakily gauge if their date is in it for the money by setting traps for them and leaving them with the bill. A woman set up on a date by a mutual friend detailed her revolting experience on Reddit. The 29-year-old said that all was initially going well with her 31-year-old date until the bill arrived — and he got strange. 'It actually started really well,' she said. 'We had a lot in common, great conversation and I was feeling positive. 'But when the $100 cheque arrived, the tone shifted.' Caught off guard, the woman said that what happened next left her stunned. She was ready to pay half the bill but he gave her the lot, saying: 'Is it alright if you pay for this?' She continued: 'Right after I paid, he grinned and said, 'Congratulations, you passed the test! You're not a gold digger'.' Wild, she probed him about the comment, with her date admitting that he had been burnt by an ex who expected him pay for everything. 'I'm not your ex and you have no right to treat me like I'm guilty until proven innocent,' she posted. 'You're not some prize that I need to pass tests for.' She found support, with one user commenting: 'It absolutely WAS a test — to see how far he could disrespect you.' Another posted: 'He's not actually offering much else. At least, not a pleasant character.' A Melbourne woman also recalled a weird recent experience, which even more surprisingly came after they had already been on several dates. Men are resorting to dirty tactics when on a date to protect themselves financially. Credit: pathdoc - 'I'd been on a few dates with a guy and things were going okay. He'd cover dinner, I'd grab drinks,' the 27-year-old told 'But one evening, he invited me out for a casual frozen yoghurt date. 'When it came time to weigh the yoghurts, he rushed ahead to pay for his while I was still mid-chocolate drizzle. 'I was shocked, having to awkwardly weigh and pay for mine just moments later, while he hovered next to me. 'We ate in silence. He acted like nothing had happened and kept asking me out after that. 'He has a good job, so it was honestly so strange to me to do that over a $6 yoghurt.' Another woman told of going on a date with a man who claimed to be a carpenter. He later admitted it was a lie, fabricating the low-paying job to 'test' her reaction. 'He just wanted to test me,' she wrote. Social media users reacted harshly to the 'carpenter's' gold digger test. 'So not only is he dishonest and can't communicate, he's classist,' one wrote. Another added: 'His 'test' gave away his character flaw. He showed you that he's a snob.' Womaniser sex and relationship expert Christine Rafe said the 'gold digger' trend was symptomatic of a broader cultural shift. 'The rise of 'gold digger tests' reflects the growing gender divide and rhetoric on social media and 'alpha male podcasters' suggesting heterosexual women only want the 'top 10 per cent' of socially, financially and physically attractive men,' she said. 'This baseless theory, popularised by Andrew Tate and his followers, encourages men to be suspicious of women's intentions, leading them to 'test' financial expectations by making women pay for dates or lying about their jobs to see if they stay interested. 'This is worsened by increasing rhetoric online and politically advocating a return to traditional gender roles, especially in modern heterosexual relationships.' The Melbourne woman believed the dating app culture was also to blame, as well as the cost of living crisis. 'I'd estimate some men go on multiple dates a week with different women and it adds up,' she said. 'The days of dating slowly and investing time in one person are almost gone. 'So even if a guy earns well, it's hundreds of dollars a week if he pays for every date.'
New York Post
15-06-2025
- Lifestyle
- New York Post
Toxic ‘gold digger test' dating trend only sets single men up to fail, expert warns
A growing number of people in the dating world are reporting a troubling new phenomenon known as 'gold digger tests' — deliberate situations where one person gauges the other's financial intentions by unexpectedly making them pay or setting traps to see if they're more interested in money than a genuine connection. Georgina*, 27, from Melbourne, recalls a bizarre experience on a recent date. Advertisement 'I'd been on a few dates with a guy and things were going okay. He'd cover dinner, I'd grab drinks,' she tells 'But one evening, he invited me out for a casual frozen yogurt date. When it came time to weigh the yogurts, he rushed ahead to pay for his while I was still mid-chocolate drizzle. I was shocked, having to awkwardly weigh and pay for mine just moments later, while he hovered next to me. We ate in silence. He acted like nothing had happened and kept asking me out after that. 3 Women are now reporting experiencing 'gold digger tests' from their dates. fizkes – 'He has a good job, so it was honestly so strange to me to do that over a $6 yogurt. Advertisement Her experience is far from unique. Across social media and dating forums, more people are sharing similar stories. One 29-year-old woman detailed her unsettling encounter on Reddit. Set up by a mutual friend, she met a 31-year-old man at a cafe. Advertisement 'It actually started really well,' she wrote. 'We had a lot in common, great conversation, and I was feeling positive. But when the $100 check arrived, the tone shifted.' She was prepared to split the bill, but was instead handed the entire amount and asked, 'Is it alright if you pay for this?' She said she was caught off guard but, unbothered by the amount, she agreed. 'Right after I paid, he grinned and said, 'Congratulations, you passed the test! You're not a gold digger,'' she recalled. Advertisement When she probed him about this comment, he admitted he'd been burned before by an ex who expected him to foot every bill. Now, he 'tests' women to ensure they're not after his money. 3 Christine Rafe, sex and relationship expert for Womanizer, sees this trend as symptomatic of broader cultural shifts. Nopphon – Christine Rafe, sex and relationship expert for Womanizer, sees this trend as symptomatic of broader cultural shifts. 'The rise of 'gold digger tests' reflects the growing gender divide and rhetoric on social media and 'alpha male podcasters' suggesting heterosexual women only want the 'top 10 percent' of socially, financially and physically attractive men,' she explains. 'This baseless theory, popularized by Andrew Tate and his followers, encourages men to be suspicious of women's intentions, leading them to 'test' financial expectations by making women pay for dates or lying about their jobs to see if they stay interested. This is worsened by increasing rhetoric online and politically advocating a return to traditional gender roles, especially in modern heterosexual relationships.' Georgina believes dating app culture also plays a role. Advertisement 'I'd estimate some men go on multiple dates a week with different women, and it adds up. The days of dating slowly and investing time in one person are almost gone. So even if a guy earns well, it's hundreds of dollars a week if he pays for every date,' she says. And with the cost of living rising, some men simply aren't willing to cover every bill. The Choosi Swipe Right Report supports this, and found Australians aged 18-49 spend an average of $158 per date, with men estimating $233 and women $101. Nearly three in four (74 percent) agree dating has become much more expensive than before. Advertisement Despite these pressures, Rafe warns that financial 'tests' are manipulative and damage trust. 'These behaviors encourage lying and dominance from the very start,' she says. 'When one person sets a trap to see if the other will 'pass', they establish distrust that undermines emotional intimacy and connection.' She emphasises that healthy relationships are built on open communication, which these 'tests' can undermine. Advertisement 3 'These conversations give a clearer picture of someone's expectations without manipulation or testing,' she notes. Dan Dalton/KOTO – There are healthier ways to navigate financial expectations, she explains, such as asking about hobbies, lifestyle, travel plans, values, and how each person prefers to handle bills and shared expenses. 'These conversations give a clearer picture of someone's expectations without manipulation or testing,' she notes. She also encourages self-reflection. 'If you have concerns about expectations or motives in dating, explore them through therapy or journalling to understand where your views on status and money come from, and what a healthy relationship looks like,' she advises. Advertisement 'When discussing these topics, share your vulnerabilities rather than projecting insecurities onto your date.' If you find yourself 'testing' someone's motives before even meeting, she says you should reflect on whether this suspicion comes from your own experience or unreliable sources. And if you've been on a date where someone set a dishonest 'test' or 'trap', see it as a sign of their emotional immaturity and inability to communicate openly — and move on.
