Latest news with #DearAbby.com
New York Post
2 days ago
- General
- New York Post
Dear Abby: I don't know how I'll survive if Social Security gets cut
DEAR ABBY: My spouse and I are retired and on Social Security. We've both worked hard all our lives and are content living a modest retirement. Our house is paid for, and we have little debt. However, we're both experiencing physical and mental decline. I worry about our house. We aren't able to clean and maintain it like we used to because of our physical limitations. We used to have parties, but we're embarrassed to have people over now, which means we're kind of isolated. We also worry that our Social Security and Medicare benefits will be stripped away. We rely on them to live. We both paid into the system since age 15. Shouldn't we expect to reap the benefits of paying into the system all these years? We worry all the time about the future, which seems so grim right now. Even if we can survive the next few years, I'm increasingly concerned about the disintegration of our home. I am not sure where to turn. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. — WORRIED ABOUT THE FUTURE DEAR WORRIED: If there is a senior center in your community, reach out and ask if there are any services that could assist you in finding reasonably priced help with your house. As to your embarrassment about entertaining friends, that concern may be you want company, invite friends over for afternoon tea, a picnic or a barbecue outside if the weather permits. Regarding your anxiety about Social Security, you are far from alone in feeling worried. Approximately 70 million American seniors are worrying right along with you. Every senior should be writing to their local politicians, their state representatives, congresspersons and senators reminding them that those benefits were paid for and, if they are interfered with, it could cost them the next election. DEAR ABBY: I'm a single, never married man. I was having trouble finding a nice woman to date, so I bought a T-shirt from a dating website to show the women at the grocery and hardware stores that I'm single and looking for a date. I now have a new problem — women at the hardware store and grocery stores keep coming up to me, asking about my shirt and trying to get a date with me. I am grateful for it, although I'm having trouble deciding which one I want to go out with. How do I tell the ones I am not interested in that I'm busy or seeing someone else? They don't want to take no for an answer. — FLOODED IN FLORIDA DEAR FLOODED: Stop saying no so quickly. If you are looking for someone special, you are going to have to do some sifting. As you will discover, dating is a process of trial and error. You may find your taste in women will change if you experience a few of them (or more). P.S. I'm sorry you didn't mention which website you bought that T-shirt from. Do they also come in women's sizes? Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Yahoo
03-06-2025
- General
- Yahoo
Dear Abby: My wife doesn't show me affection anymore, and I'm out of options
DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 22 years. It was a normal relationship, and I was very happy. However, over the last 12 years, my wife has changed. There is ZERO affection, no hugging, holding hands, and nothing sexual. We are like roommates. She blames it on having been molested when she was a child. Our level of intimacy was normal for 10 years. I have suggested counseling, but she refuses. Bottom line: Should I stay, or should I go? I am 64 years old, and this is my second marriage. I don't want to start over. — STARVED IN INDIANA DEAR STARVED: Ask your wife if she ever received counseling after she was molested. If she did, she needs more. However, if she did not, then it's time to explain to her that for the last 12 years, she has starved you of affection and human contact, and you do not intend to live the rest of your life this way. Then offer her a choice: counseling to deal with her issue or a divorce. You may not want to start over, but you may have to. DEAR ABBY: I brought my dad with dementia into my home. My husband has heart issues. We are all at each other's throats all the time. My siblings promised they would help take care of our dad, but they haven't helped much at all. Every once in a while they may take him for a couple hours, but then he's right back. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad. But we really could use more help, though I feel guilty asking for it. Am I supposed to feel this way? I mean, they are his children, too. — OBLIGATED IN KENTUCKY DEAR OBLIGATED: I hope you realize you may have brought this situation on yourself, and it's up to you to do something about it. You said you feel guilty asking your siblings for more help taking care of your father. Lose that guilty feeling! They are his children, too, but they aren't mind readers. Tell them what you need, and if it is more time to yourself and your sick husband, don't be bashful about saying so. DEAR ABBY: My husband bought me a beautiful diamond ring for our 35th anniversary. People often ask how much it costs and why we would spend that. I know I don't have to explain myself, and I try to be polite. We both work, are debt-free, and don't bother anyone. What is the proper way to respond to questions like this? — DIAMOND GAL IN MASSACHUSETTS DEAR DIAMOND GAL: You are correct. You are not obligated to reveal personal financial information, so stop doing it. There's no end to the personal questions people ask these days. If someone inquires about how much your ring cost or why you would spend that amount of money, simply respond, 'You know, that's a very personal question, and I'm really not comfortable with it.' Then change the subject. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
New York Post
03-06-2025
- General
- New York Post
Dear Abby: My wife doesn't show me affection anymore, and I'm out of options
DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 22 years. It was a normal relationship, and I was very happy. However, over the last 12 years, my wife has changed. There is ZERO affection, no hugging, holding hands, and nothing sexual. We are like roommates. She blames it on having been molested when she was a child. Our level of intimacy was normal for 10 years. I have suggested counseling, but she refuses. Bottom line: Should I stay, or should I go? I am 64 years old, and this is my second marriage. I don't want to start over. — STARVED IN INDIANA Advertisement DEAR STARVED: Ask your wife if she ever received counseling after she was molested. If she did, she needs more. However, if she did not, then it's time to explain to her that for the last 12 years, she has starved you of affection and human contact, and you do not intend to live the rest of your life this way. Then offer her a choice: counseling to deal with her issue or a divorce. You may not want to start over, but you may have to. DEAR ABBY: I brought my dad with dementia into my home. My husband has heart issues. We are all at each other's throats all the time. My siblings promised they would help take care of our dad, but they haven't helped much at all. Advertisement Every once in a while they may take him for a couple hours, but then he's right back. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad. But we really could use more help, though I feel guilty asking for it. Am I supposed to feel this way? I mean, they are his children, too. — OBLIGATED IN KENTUCKY DEAR OBLIGATED: I hope you realize you may have brought this situation on yourself, and it's up to you to do something about it. You said you feel guilty asking your siblings for more help taking care of your father. Lose that guilty feeling! They are his children, too, but they aren't mind readers. Tell them what you need, and if it is more time to yourself and your sick husband, don't be bashful about saying so. Advertisement DEAR ABBY: My husband bought me a beautiful diamond ring for our 35th anniversary. People often ask how much it costs and why we would spend that. I know I don't have to explain myself, and I try to be polite. We both work, are debt-free, and don't bother anyone. What is the proper way to respond to questions like this? — DIAMOND GAL IN MASSACHUSETTS DEAR DIAMOND GAL: You are correct. You are not obligated to reveal personal financial information, so stop doing it. There's no end to the personal questions people ask these days. If someone inquires about how much your ring cost or why you would spend that amount of money, simply respond, 'You know, that's a very personal question, and I'm really not comfortable with it.' Then change the subject. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Yahoo
29-05-2025
- General
- Yahoo
Dear Abby: Is it rude to keep non-relatives out of my family reunion?
DEAR ABBY: We have an annual weekend family reunion that includes family and significant others along with their children. Most of the children are adults now. One of them (my niece) was recently married and is asking if her new husband's sister (and possibly her boyfriend) can come to the reunion. We don't have anyone other than immediate family attend, although we do have a special attendee this year. My brother-in-law's mother is here from South America. She will be coming only for the day rather than the whole weekend. How do I politely refuse my niece's request without hurting her feelings? — MORE OR MERRIER? DEAR M. OR M.: An exception has already been made for your brother-in-law's mother. I'm not sure you can refuse to include your niece's new husband's sister (and possibly her boyfriend) this time around without causing hurt feelings. Throw a few more hot dogs on the grill and cross your fingers that everyone will have a good time 'just this once.' DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 34 years. My husband often accuses me of having cheated on him and being disrespectful to him throughout our marriage. I have said some things in ways I agree were disrespectful, especially after I have been accused of lying, etc. However, I have never cheated or lied to him, as he so often accuses me of. What do you advise? — HONEST IN GEORGIA DEAR HONEST: I wish you had written to me about this when it started. If you had, I would have pointed out that people who accuse their partners of lying to them and cheating on them often have done exactly that themselves. He's accusing you of disrespect? What do you think he has been doing? Tell your accuser/abuser that if he has proof of his accusations, he should come with you to a marriage and family therapist and discuss it, or you are going to leave him. Then, depending upon his response, follow through. DEAR ABBY: My grandson is transgender and gets very hurt when I misgender his name. I am nearly 80 and use 'she' sometimes when talking to him. I wrote him a letter at college (we exchange letters all the time) and told him my brain is old, and if I keep saying 'she' when we talk, maybe we should just keep writing and see each other less often if it keeps hurting him. Did I do the right thing? — MISTAKEN IN MASSACHUSETTS DEAR MISTAKEN: You may have meant well, but I don't think it was a wise choice. Unintentional misgendering is a fact of life in many families with a transgender loved one. Seeing your grandson less often is not going to cure the problem you're experiencing. Seeing him MORE often may give you the opportunity to become more comfortable with his true identity. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
New York Post
29-05-2025
- New York Post
Dear Abby: Is it rude to keep non-relatives out of my family reunion?
DEAR ABBY: We have an annual weekend family reunion that includes family and significant others along with their children. Most of the children are adults now. One of them (my niece) was recently married and is asking if her new husband's sister (and possibly her boyfriend) can come to the reunion. We don't have anyone other than immediate family attend, although we do have a special attendee this year. Advertisement My brother-in-law's mother is here from South America. She will be coming only for the day rather than the whole weekend. How do I politely refuse my niece's request without hurting her feelings? — MORE OR MERRIER? DEAR M. OR M.: An exception has already been made for your brother-in-law's mother. Advertisement I'm not sure you can refuse to include your niece's new husband's sister (and possibly her boyfriend) this time around without causing hurt feelings. Throw a few more hot dogs on the grill and cross your fingers that everyone will have a good time 'just this once.' DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 34 years. My husband often accuses me of having cheated on him and being disrespectful to him throughout our marriage. Advertisement I have said some things in ways I agree were disrespectful, especially after I have been accused of lying, etc. However, I have never cheated or lied to him, as he so often accuses me of. What do you advise? — HONEST IN GEORGIA DEAR HONEST: I wish you had written to me about this when it started. If you had, I would have pointed out that people who accuse their partners of lying to them and cheating on them often have done exactly that themselves. He's accusing you of disrespect? What do you think he has been doing? Advertisement Tell your accuser/abuser that if he has proof of his accusations, he should come with you to a marriage and family therapist and discuss it, or you are going to leave him. Then, depending upon his response, follow through. DEAR ABBY: My grandson is transgender and gets very hurt when I misgender his name. I am nearly 80 and use 'she' sometimes when talking to him. I wrote him a letter at college (we exchange letters all the time) and told him my brain is old, and if I keep saying 'she' when we talk, maybe we should just keep writing and see each other less often if it keeps hurting him. Did I do the right thing? — MISTAKEN IN MASSACHUSETTS DEAR MISTAKEN: You may have meant well, but I don't think it was a wise choice. Unintentional misgendering is a fact of life in many families with a transgender loved one. Seeing your grandson less often is not going to cure the problem you're experiencing. Seeing him MORE often may give you the opportunity to become more comfortable with his true identity. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
