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Malay Mail
8 hours ago
- Health
- Malay Mail
Struggling as a caregiver? Here's how you can navigate care work in Malaysia with subsidies, support and respite services
KUALA LUMPUR, July 29 — Care work is not something new in Malaysia especially when the country is on track to becoming an aged nation by 2030. Often referred to as a 'labour of love', although it is mostly hard work – care work duties often encompasses tasks such as cleaning the house, preparing children for school, cooking for the family or caring for an elderly parent. Not forgetting those with spouses or children or parents with chronic illnesses and disabilities – which usually means extra care work to cater to their specific needs. In Malaysia, most caregivers are informal or family members. According to the Department of Statistics Malaysia (DoSM) Labour Force Survey in February 2024, there are 7.23 million people recorded as being outside the labour force, with the main reason being housework or family responsibilities. Do keep in mind that there are also working individuals who take on a 'second shift' as caregivers after their regular working hours – a responsibility that more often than not falls onto the women of the family, with some of the reasoning behind this being 'historical and cultural norms'. Since care work can often be taxing on a person, not just mentally and physically but also financially, here's a list of available subsidies for chronic illnesses, mental health support, and respite care programmes that could ease the burden on informal caregivers. This list includes programmes offered by local NGOs, hospitals and care service providers, with most requiring background checks and eligibility approval. Subsidised medical programmes Subsidised medical programmes could help unload some of the financial burden held by informal caregivers. — Picture by Sayuti Zainudin National Cancer Society Malaysia (NCSM) The National Cancer Society Malaysia (NCSM) has been around since 1966 and they are the first non-profit organisation in Malaysia to provide education, care and support services for people affected by cancer and the general public. NCSM offers an array of cancer and health screening services at a subsidised price which includes breast cancer, cervical cancer, colorectal cancer, prostate cancer, and normal medical screenings as well as x-ray services. They also have their own Nuclear Medicine Centre that provides immediate and affordable imaging scan facilities which includes bone scan, renal DTPA function study, renal DMSA scan, Meckel's diverticulum scan, and thyroid scan. Aside from that, NCSM also offers accommodation support including a transit home and transportation for the less fortunate who are receiving cancer treatment at either Kuala Lumpur Hospital, Tunku Azizah Hospital, Raja Permaisuri Bainun Hospital, or National Cancer Institute. Please visit for more information. Beacon Hospital Local cancer specialist hospital, Beacon Hospital, in Petaling Jaya, also has a slew of welfare funds under its corporate social responsibility (CSR) programmes. For breast cancer patients, they are offering two types of welfare funds or subsidised medical treatment programmes with the first one being their Breast Cancer Chemotherapy Welfare Fund where patients would only need to pay around 10 per cent of the charges. Chemotherapy could cost up to RM6,000 per cycle and patients would normally require around four to eight cycles of treatment. They also have the Targeted Therapy (HER2+) Welfare Fund for Breast Cancer where eligible patients are only required to pay RM2,500 per cycle for Trastuzumab treatment, which could initially cost up to approximately RM10,000 per cycle. There is also a programme for colorectal cancer chemotherapy where patients would need to pay around RM1,150 which is just 20 per cent of the initial cost. Beacon Hospital also offers radiotherapy and radiosurgery treatment starting as low as RM1,000 under their Radiotherapy and Radiosurgery Welfare Fund. For more information, click here. IHH Healthcare Malaysia IHH Healthcare Malaysia launched their Life Renewed programme back in 2012 as part of their CSR initiative where they are providing free treatment for less fortunate patients across Malaysia. According to the official IHH Healthcare Malaysia website, the Life Renewed programme is available at all IHH Healthcare Malaysia hospitals, including Gleneagles, Pantai, Prince Court Medical Centre, and Timberland Medical Centre. At the moment, Pantai Hospital Kuala Lumpur under the Life Renewed programme, is currently accepting applicants for those needing financial assistance for paediatric congenital heart surgeries. Find more information on how to apply here. Diabetes Malaysia Diabetes Malaysia (DM), formerly known as Persatuan Diabetes Malaysia, is an NGO that organises activities to raise awareness of diabetes and its complications, and to promote and improve diabetes care. Although they are known for spearheading regional conferences and educational programmes related to diabetes, DM also offers a range of subsidised diabetes-related products, such as glucose meters, insulin pens, footwear, glucose strips, and more, available to its members. DM membership is open to all for a yearly membership fee of RM10. Membership form and the subsidised product list are available here. National Kidney Foundation The National Kidney Foundation (NKF) offers a range of quality and comprehensive kidney care and support services for individuals diagnosed with kidney disease. Their services include subsidised haemodialysis services, peritoneal dialysis training and support services, kidney dialysis and transplant financial assistance as well as patient support programmes and education on chronic kidney disease. NKF also has centres all around Malaysia that adhere to standards set by the Ministry of Health with some of their centres having achieved full accreditation by the Malaysian Society for Quality in Health. For more information on their welfare and subsidised programmes, please visit this link. Mental health support Life Line Association Malaysia also provides face to face counselling apart from their helpline. — Picture by Arif Zikri Providing care sometimes can take a toll on your mental health – if you're lonely, distressed, or having negative thoughts, here's a list of carelines offering over-the-phone mental health support and counselling: Befrienders KL offers 24-hour emotional support in Bahasa Malaysia, English, Chinese and Tamil. Reach out to their helpline at 03-76272929. A full list of Befrienders contact numbers and state operating hours can be found here. Talian Kasih is a nationwide 24-hour careline established by the Ministry of Women, Family and Community Development. Reach out to their toll-free hotline at 15999 or contact them via WhatsApp at 019-2615999, which is also available 24 hours a day. The Malaysian Mental Health Association also provides psychological therapy and support services via their helpline at 03-27806803. Their helpline is available on weekdays from 9am to 5pm, except for public holidays. Sneham Malaysia, an NGO formed in 2018, also offers a toll-free helpline at 1800-22-5757, which operates daily from 4pm to 8pm. Their counselling support is primarily in Tamil, but Bahasa Malaysia and English are also available. Life Line Association Malaysia offers counselling and support services via their new helpline at 15995 and their counselling is available in Chinese, Bahasa Malaysia and English. The helpline is available from Monday to Saturday from 9.30am to 1.30am. Respite care services Sometimes, it is good for family caregivers to take some time off from caregiving duties to prevent burnout, and respite care is one of the best options that can provide temporary relief for primary caregivers. Sometimes, it is good for family caregivers to take some time off from caring duties to prevent any burnouts and respite care is one of the best options that can provide temporary relief for primary caregivers. — Picture by Ahmad Zamzahuri From in-house services to day-care centres and even companions for medical appointments, here's a list of available respite care services that might be worth checking out: Teman Malaysia Teman Malaysia offers both long- and short-term care services, which include companionship and caregiving services for the elderly, pregnant women, mothers with young children, and people with disabilities. Their short-term services also include providing companions for health appointments and dialysis treatment, charged at RM35 per hour. They also provide companions for leisure activities, priced at RM70 for two hours. Teman Malaysia also provides free consultations for those interested. Find more information on their packages here. Homage Operating in Singapore and Malaysia, Homage works with care recipients with a range of mobility and medical conditions, including chronic and terminal illnesses such as dementia, stroke, Parkinson's, and cancer. Their respite care services include assisting with daily living activities, medication reminders, physical exercises, nursing care, as well as night care. Homage's hourly charge for their Daily Living Care package with certified caregivers is RM30 per hour, while it is RM35 per hour for their nursing care by licensed nurses. Visit this link for more. My Aged Care My Aged Care's main focus is senior citizens, and they have several facilities located in Petaling Jaya, including nursing homes and a physiotherapy centre. They also have a wide range of services, including rehabilitation, palliative care, physiotherapy, and ambulance services. Their Daycare package covers 12-hour care, with prices starting at RM10 per hour (before 7pm), and RM15 per hour (after 7pm). The Daycare package includes four meals a day, as well as stimulating activities and beds for recipients' nap times. Find more information here.
The Star
a day ago
- Business
- The Star
Malaysia's producer price index declined 4.2% in June 2025
KUALA LUMPUR: Malaysia's Producer Price Index (PPI), which measures price changes at the producer level, went down further by 4.2 per cent in June 2025, after a 3.6 per cent decline in the previous month, said the Department of Statistics (DoSM) today. Its chief statistician Datuk Seri Dr Mohd Uzir Mahidin said all sectors registered year-on-year declines in June 2025, with mining and manufacturing sectors emerging as the primary contributors to the overall negative trend of the index. The mining sector declined by 8.0 per cent compared to -15 per cent in May 2025, affected by the declines in extraction of natural gas (-12.0 per cent) and extraction of crude petroleum (-6.7 per cent) indices. At the same time, the manufacturing sector went down by -4.3 per cent against 3.0 per cent in May 2025, contributed by significant downturns in the manufacture of coke and refined petroleum products (-17.7 per cent) and manufacture of computer, electronic and optical products (-7.8 per cent) indices. - Bernama Trading ideas: TNB, Ekovest, Sapura Energy, Globetronics, Jentayu, Rhone Ma, Ecobuilt, Salcon, ETA, Polymer, CTOS
Yahoo
a day ago
- General
- Yahoo
Coping in the middle: Inside the lives of informal caregivers balancing reality with emotional and financial strain
KUALA LUMPUR, July 24 — The term 'sandwich generation' refers to a group of middle-aged adults who are simultaneously caring for their own children and their ageing parents. They are essentially caught – or 'sandwiched' – between the responsibilities of supporting two different generations, including providing physical, emotional, and financial support. In Malaysia, most caregivers are informal or family members and according to the Department of Statistic Malaysia (DoSM) Labour Force Survey in February 2024, there are 7.23 million persons recorded as being outside the labour force, with the main reason being housework or family responsibilities. Keep in mind that there are also working individuals who take on a 'second shift' as caregivers after their regular working hours. Malay Mail has reached out to several caregivers, including those with special needs children, to share some of their experiences in providing care for their loved ones. A caregiver's journey Liew Chooi Mei is a mother of two children and has been an active volunteer for counselling NGO, Life Line Association Malaysia (LLAM), since 2014. Her mother, who had dementia, passed away in the same year she began volunteering at LLAM, just 14 years after her late father, who died of cancer. Both parents were cared for by Liew and her two siblings, who took turns caring for them. Liew admitted that her experience caring for her late mother was not a pleasant one and left her with regrets. This was partly due to her mother's worsening condition at the time, which eventually pushed Liew to her limits – leading to moments where she accidentally scolded her mother and even took to harming herself. 'Because we were not trained caregivers and we also get overwhelmed by our emotions. I thought I was good enough to take care of her because I used to work as a kindergarten teacher where I would normally take care of up to 30 children in a class sometimes. 'So I thought I had the patience but when dealing with my mom, especially after the hurtful things she said and the way she treated me – my patience just left me. 'Eventually I understood that was the dementia talking and she was not her true self, it changed her to a totally different person,' Liew said. During her caregiving journey, Liew mentioned that the counselling at LLAM has helped her a lot, especially in sharing her troubles. She felt luckier than others because she had a space to express herself and unload her emotional baggage while caring for her mother. She is now serving as the division leader for LLAM's public awareness programmes, continuing her mission to help caregivers provide quality and empathetic care through her numerous talks and seminars. She also shared a few pointers for caregivers: Let them talk and listen to what they have to say – Some might have something important to say, so it's important to lend them your ear While medication is one thing, taking the people you care about to some leisure activities could help lighten their mood Only a healthy caregiver can provide quality care – It is important for caregivers to take care of themselves first before taking care of others Caregivers may be limited by resources, so don't judge whether your actions are right or wrong – Your limits may hold you from giving your best to your family Getting respite care or sending your parents to daycare does not mean you've failed as a caregiver – It's okay to get some assistance Fulfilling yet demanding work Nurain Saiful Ahmad, 39, currently works at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs in Putrajaya as an administrative and diplomatic officer. She is also a mother of two children, aged 12 and 14. In addition, she and her five siblings are caring for their parents. Her father, 69, has diabetes, high cholesterol, and hypertension, while her mother, 64, suffers from the same three illnesses and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the age of 32. Nurain Saiful Ahmad (third from right) with her family. — Picture courtesy of Nurain Saiful Ahmad In 2021, her mother's condition worsened after being diagnosed with Parkinson's disease, which left her wheelchair-bound and in need of close monitoring. Both of Nurain's parents are staying with her elder sister in Lenggeng, Negeri Sembilan and she would normally visit them twice a month. Although her elder sister is the primary caregiver, Nurain and her other siblings take turns visiting and caring for their parents, especially during Hari Raya or whenever their elder sister is unavailable or in need of a break. Nurain, who considers herself to be in a better financial position compared to her other siblings, spends around RM1,500 monthly on her parents' needs, including the monthly car loan payment for her father's vehicle, adult diapers, insulin needles, and more. She added that she volunteers her financial support because she doesn't want to burden her other siblings, especially the younger ones – her brother recently got married in May, while her youngest sister is still in the process of becoming financially independent. However, for more expensive medical needs and equipment, they usually divide the cost among themselves. 'I love taking care of both my parents and my children and at the same time, I am teaching my children to be independent which has been very helpful for both my husband and I. 'I feel like it's an honour to be able to provide basic needs to others and you know this is what you signed up for when you decide to get married and have children while your parents are ageing. 'I have never regretted this and I will continue to care for them for as long as I breathe. In fact, I even plan to volunteer at hospitals when I retire because I love taking care of sick people and I believe that you are at your most vulnerable state when you're sick and whatever help or assistance that you can get, would really support you to get through those difficult times,' Nurain said. When it comes to juggling her time between work, caring for her children, and looking after her parents, Nurain and her husband practice effective communication. For example, if she is too tired, her husband steps in for the rest of the day, and she returns the favour by covering for him the next day. Both Nurain and her husband utilise the calendar app on their phones – even to schedule 10 minutes of 'pillow talk', because they understand that even a short time together can make a big difference. Although her time is limited by her commitments, Nurain still manages to allocate some 'me time' for herself, whether it's taking a long nap, going for a walk in the park, or simply sitting in her reading chair at home. Her go-to activities also include playing badminton every Tuesday and karaoke, which she can easily do during her drive to work. Bittersweet acceptance Cason Ong Tzse Chun is 56 years old this year and is caring for his two special needs children with his wife, while also looking after his parents and an uncle. His daughter, 28, was diagnosed with developmental delay, while his son, 27, has autism. Cason Ong Tzse Chun and his family. — Picture courtesy of Cason Ong Tzse Chun Ong officially retired from his family's paper roll supply business in 2019 to spend more time with his children. He and his wife now run a small-scale homemade food business together to make ends meet. He is also active in volunteering with various organisations including serving as the National Autism Society Malaysia (Nasom) honorary secretary and Kiwanis Club Petaling Jaya's president. Speaking to Malay Mail, Ong said that his sister can be considered the primary caregiver for their parents, as they live closer to each other. However, Ong often takes turns with her to bring their parents to their medical appointments. Ong also takes care of his uncle, who previously lived alone but is now in a nursing home – a favour for his aunt, who is currently living in Singapore. Compared to what he has been through in the past, Ong describes his life as relatively smoother now. He recalled that he and his wife were expecting again a few years after their son was born. However, they made the decision to abort out of fear that their newborn wouldn't be able to live a quality life. 'You see, I already have two children with special needs, and let's say the third one came out normal – don't you think his or her life would be more stressful, having to take care of their brother and sister? The child would have no life,' he said. Sharing more about his children, Ong said that his son is currently working two part-time jobs, one of which is at a local speech therapy office in Puchong. He works as a general worker every Tuesday and Thursday from 9am to 5pm. For the rest of the weekdays, he would work as a part timer at a restaurant which is owned by Ong's friend for about five hours per day. He also takes his daughter to the Lovely Disabled Home in Petaling Jaya on weekdays. The home is an NGO that provides job opportunities to physically and mentally challenged individuals aged 18 and above. The reason Ong encourages his children to work is not only to teach them how to earn a living and be independent, but also to help them adapt to the working environment. He sees it as valuable training, especially for his daughter, who has difficulty with fine motor skills. Patience and perseverance Caregiving is not just demanding work; it also requires a lot of patience, empathy, and, most of all, perseverance. It continues until the end. This is how 69-year-old Dorothy George Dass described her journey in raising her now 24-year-old son, Abraham Isaac Pereira, who was diagnosed with autism when he was six years old. Abraham Isaac Pereira (centre) together with his mother Dorothy George Dass (left) and his sister Denise Frances. — Picture by Hari Anggara Despite being on the autism spectrum, Abraham holds a diploma in Automotive Engineering and is currently working as a mechanic, with a lifelong dream of working for an F1 team in the future. This all did not happen overnight, Dorothy shared. It required a lot of repetitive work and hours of behavioural therapies which they managed to get at Nasom. 'There were a lot of frustrations in teaching, there's a lot of repetitive work. 'We couldn't just leave what we've learned from the teachers and therapies at the centre, we have to bring it home and continue it. 'We just have to keep repeating ourselves until he gets it right,' Dorothy said. Dorothy, who works as a senior operations admin at a local vending machine supplier company, added that she is grateful to have had employers who were very understanding of her situation. This was especially true when she had to go back and forth between dropping her son off at school and being present at some of his therapies and activities at Nasom, including choir classes and performances. * If you are lonely, distressed, or having negative thoughts, Befrienders offers free and confidential support 24 hours a day. A full list of Befrienders contact numbers and state operating hours is available here: There are also free hotlines for young people: Talian Kasih at 15999 (24/7); Talian BuddyBear at 1800-18-2327(BEAR)(daily 12pm-12am); Mental Health Psychosocial Support Service (03-2935 9935 or 014-322 3392); Life Line Association Malaysia helpline at 15995 and Jakim's Family, Social and Community Care Centre (WhatsApp 0111-959 8214).
Borneo Post
4 days ago
- General
- Borneo Post
Declining birth rate: Where are all our children?
Children from the Sunday school seen during the 'Parents Day' celebration at the Tabuan Jaya Anglican Church. ALARM bells are ringing as recent statistics have shown that Sarawak's fertility rate and population growth are on a steep and rapid downward trend. This has been happening without pause since 1970 when the number of babies born numbered about 40,000 per year. Now, it's only half – at 20,000! On July 15, Sarawak's Women, Childhood and Community Wellbeing Development Minister Dato Sri Fatimah Abdullah said that our fertility rate had declined drastically from a high of 4.9 per cent to only 1.6 per cent in 2023. We need a fertility rate of a minimum of two per cent to just re-populate ourselves! Our birth rate, in actual numbers, is now only 12.5 per 1,000 people, versus the national average of 12.9. There are many reasons attributable to these statistics, some of which may not appear to be obvious or are widely known. According to the Department of Statistics Malaysia (DoSM), the average age of Malaysians getting married rose from 24.7 years in 1990 to 28.9 in 2022. In the average family, women today have one or two children as compared to five in 1970. From a personal perspective, this has certainly been the classic case in my family too. My grandfather, born in 1896 and died in 1982, had 14 children: 10 boys and four girls. My father, born in 1926 and died in 2023, had five: three boys and two girls. Me, born in 1950, have a boy and two girls; of my three children, they have just two – both boys. This has been the story of how our typical Sarawakian families have not replaced themselves insofar as head count is concerned. I am sure that it has happened along the same trajectory with most other families, regardless of race, religion or creed. Back in the 1970s, the man in the family would virtually be the sole breadwinner, leaving the wife at home with domestic chores and raising children. The trend then was living with parents or there were elders in the house with them as well. After getting married, the expectation was to immediately start a family, and with traditional and conservative lifestyles, there would be little said about 'family planning' or birth control. Prior to the 1980s, one would still need a doctor's prescription for birth control pills and contraceptives like condoms were not as freely available on sale, only at pharmacies and the odd 'specialist stores'. Compare that situation then to that after the 2000s when you can buy all these easily online, sight unseen and delivered to your very doorstep. In the 1950s, that 'Silent Generation' (those born between 1928 and 1945) of the time had married young, usually between ages of 18 and 23, and they came of age during the post-World War II boom. Without the mass availability of birth control and coupled with the added security of the presence of other family members, usually parents, living under the same roof, that generation had felt secure with bringing children into this world. This trend was to continue for the next two generations: the 'Baby Boomers' (those born between 1946 and 1964), and even up till Gen X (those born between 1965 and 1979). It is my belief that things had started going downhill from the 'Millennials' – also known as 'Gen Y' (those born between 1981 and 1996) and continued into Gen Z (1997-2012) – also known as 'iGen' or 'Centennials'. The present Gen Alpha (2013-2025) will only reach the age of maturity of 21 in 2034, so they are completely out of our discussion in this matter of re-producing the future generation. Starting with the Baby Boomers, the trend was for both the mother and the father going to work, leaving behind their children either to some elders' care or in a kindergarten or playschool. Domestic help was still commonly available, and their wages were reasonable. By late 1990s, there was a seismic shift in the demand for such domestics as more and more young married couples took up employment in many diverse industries and professions. This had created a situation where the supply could not meet the high demand. By this time too, domestics from homes in and around Sarawak as well as those from a neighbouring country had also discovered more attractive employment outside of the state, as they looked towards Peninsular Malaysia, Singapore, and even further afield to the Middle East and the Far East, enticed with double or even triple of whatever they could earn back home. At the same time, the cost of educating pre-schoolers had also gone up in line with rising costs of living, inflation and the weak ringgit vis-a-vis other foreign currencies. This double-whammy had caused what had initially appeared to be an attractive and comfortable double-income family earnings to be eroded; thereby leaving not much savings after all these expenses. Most families had taken the decision to either stop at just one child, or at most two, so that they could plan their future educational needs within their budgets. A few more young families took other decisions: some to curtail one income and stop working; some to relocate and seek new horizons; many had either downsized or gone back to live with a parent. There is a dire and serious social implication if this downward trend continues. We are on track to become an aged nation (no longer are we in that 'ageing stage') by 2030 – that's just five years away! Our life expectancy has continued to increase. A baby born in 2023 is now expected to live on average up to 74.8 years – an increase of 13.2 years to one born in 1970, whose expectancy was only 61.6 years then. In less than a decade, as an aged nation, we face a shrinking working-age population and a growing elderly population. There will be fewer people around to support the elderly folks, to care for them and financially fend for their welfare and health needs. It is not uncommon these days to read news reports in some ageing countries like Japan and Korea, and even in Europe, where many elderly people lived on their own, had died alone, and had gone unnoticed for days or even weeks. Sarawak's population stands at 2,907,500, of which senior citizens aged 60 and above had already made up 15 per cent (436,125) in 2020. It is estimated that by 2028, this would double to 30 per cent (872,250), which in reality, means that every third person you meet will be a senior. In a press report on Aug 6 last year, Dato Seri Fatimah Abdullah had assured us: 'My ministry is carrying out a statewide survey to look into these issues facing Sarawak society.' She had also said that the ministry would work out 'detailed planning to care for more elderly people every year', and 'would study the measures being taken by governments of developed countries to care for the elderly'. 'Sarawak needs to introduce such measures into its community development planning without delay,' she was quoted as having said. It would have been exactly one year by August next month, dear minister. I hope there's been some positive development from the ministry regarding these matters – did you say 'without delay'? In the meantime, all we can do is to urge our married couples here to be more 'productive', so as to ensure that at least we can replace ourselves in our Sarawak population. Genesis 1:28: 'Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the seas and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth.' Amen. * The opinions expressed in this article are the columnist's own and do not reflect the view of the newspaper. ageing population declining birthrate
Malay Mail
5 days ago
- General
- Malay Mail
Coping in the middle: Inside the lives of informal caregivers balancing reality with emotional and financial strain
KUALA LUMPUR, July 24 — The term 'sandwich generation' refers to a group of middle-aged adults who are simultaneously caring for their own children and their ageing parents. They are essentially caught – or 'sandwiched' – between the responsibilities of supporting two different generations, including providing physical, emotional, and financial support. In Malaysia, most caregivers are informal or family members and according to the Department of Statistic Malaysia (DoSM) Labour Force Survey in February 2024, there are 7.23 million persons recorded as being outside the labour force, with the main reason being housework or family responsibilities. Keep in mind that there are also working individuals who take on a 'second shift' as caregivers after their regular working hours. Malay Mail has reached out to several caregivers, including those with special needs children, to share some of their experiences in providing care for their loved ones. A caregiver's journey Liew Chooi Mei is a mother of two children and has been an active volunteer for counselling NGO, Life Line Association Malaysia (LLAM), since 2014. Her mother, who had dementia, passed away in the same year she began volunteering at LLAM, just 14 years after her late father, who died of cancer. Both parents were cared for by Liew and her two siblings, who took turns caring for them. Liew admitted that her experience caring for her late mother was not a pleasant one and left her with regrets. This was partly due to her mother's worsening condition at the time, which eventually pushed Liew to her limits – leading to moments where she accidentally scolded her mother and even took to harming herself. 'Because we were not trained caregivers and we also get overwhelmed by our emotions. I thought I was good enough to take care of her because I used to work as a kindergarten teacher where I would normally take care of up to 30 children in a class sometimes. 'So I thought I had the patience but when dealing with my mom, especially after the hurtful things she said and the way she treated me – my patience just left me. 'Eventually I understood that was the dementia talking and she was not her true self, it changed her to a totally different person,' Liew said. During her caregiving journey, Liew mentioned that the counselling at LLAM has helped her a lot, especially in sharing her troubles. She felt luckier than others because she had a space to express herself and unload her emotional baggage while caring for her mother. She is now serving as the division leader for LLAM's public awareness programmes, continuing her mission to help caregivers provide quality and empathetic care through her numerous talks and seminars. She also shared a few pointers for caregivers: Let them talk and listen to what they have to say – Some might have something important to say, so it's important to lend them your ear While medication is one thing, taking the people you care about to some leisure activities could help lighten their mood Only a healthy caregiver can provide quality care – It is important for caregivers to take care of themselves first before taking care of others Caregivers may be limited by resources, so don't judge whether your actions are right or wrong – Your limits may hold you from giving your best to your family Getting respite care or sending your parents to daycare does not mean you've failed as a caregiver – It's okay to get some assistance Fulfilling yet demanding work Nurain Saiful Ahmad, 39, currently works at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs in Putrajaya as an administrative and diplomatic officer. She is also a mother of two children, aged 12 and 14. In addition, she and her five siblings are caring for their parents. Her father, 69, has diabetes, high cholesterol, and hypertension, while her mother, 64, suffers from the same three illnesses and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the age of 32. Nurain Saiful Ahmad (third from right) with her family. — Picture courtesy of Nurain Saiful Ahmad In 2021, her mother's condition worsened after being diagnosed with Parkinson's disease, which left her wheelchair-bound and in need of close monitoring. Both of Nurain's parents are staying with her elder sister in Lenggeng, Negeri Sembilan and she would normally visit them twice a month. Although her elder sister is the primary caregiver, Nurain and her other siblings take turns visiting and caring for their parents, especially during Hari Raya or whenever their elder sister is unavailable or in need of a break. Nurain, who considers herself to be in a better financial position compared to her other siblings, spends around RM1,500 monthly on her parents' needs, including the monthly car loan payment for her father's vehicle, adult diapers, insulin needles, and more. She added that she volunteers her financial support because she doesn't want to burden her other siblings, especially the younger ones – her brother recently got married in May, while her youngest sister is still in the process of becoming financially independent. However, for more expensive medical needs and equipment, they usually divide the cost among themselves. 'I love taking care of both my parents and my children and at the same time, I am teaching my children to be independent which has been very helpful for both my husband and I. 'I feel like it's an honour to be able to provide basic needs to others and you know this is what you signed up for when you decide to get married and have children while your parents are ageing. 'I have never regretted this and I will continue to care for them for as long as I breathe. In fact, I even plan to volunteer at hospitals when I retire because I love taking care of sick people and I believe that you are at your most vulnerable state when you're sick and whatever help or assistance that you can get, would really support you to get through those difficult times,' Nurain said. When it comes to juggling her time between work, caring for her children, and looking after her parents, Nurain and her husband practice effective communication. For example, if she is too tired, her husband steps in for the rest of the day, and she returns the favour by covering for him the next day. Both Nurain and her husband utilise the calendar app on their phones – even to schedule 10 minutes of 'pillow talk', because they understand that even a short time together can make a big difference. Although her time is limited by her commitments, Nurain still manages to allocate some 'me time' for herself, whether it's taking a long nap, going for a walk in the park, or simply sitting in her reading chair at home. Her go-to activities also include playing badminton every Tuesday and karaoke, which she can easily do during her drive to work. Bittersweet acceptance Cason Ong Tzse Chun is 56 years old this year and is caring for his two special needs children with his wife, while also looking after his parents and an uncle. His daughter, 28, was diagnosed with developmental delay, while his son, 27, has autism. Cason Ong Tzse Chun and his family. — Picture courtesy of Cason Ong Tzse Chun Ong officially retired from his family's paper roll supply business in 2019 to spend more time with his children. He and his wife now run a small-scale homemade food business together to make ends meet. He is also active in volunteering with various organisations including serving as the National Autism Society Malaysia (Nasom) honorary secretary and Kiwanis Club Petaling Jaya's president. Speaking to Malay Mail, Ong said that his sister can be considered the primary caregiver for their parents, as they live closer to each other. However, Ong often takes turns with her to bring their parents to their medical appointments. Ong also takes care of his uncle, who previously lived alone but is now in a nursing home – a favour for his aunt, who is currently living in Singapore. Compared to what he has been through in the past, Ong describes his life as relatively smoother now. He recalled that he and his wife were expecting again a few years after their son was born. However, they made the decision to abort out of fear that their newborn wouldn't be able to live a quality life. 'You see, I already have two children with special needs, and let's say the third one came out normal – don't you think his or her life would be more stressful, having to take care of their brother and sister? The child would have no life,' he said. Sharing more about his children, Ong said that his son is currently working two part-time jobs, one of which is at a local speech therapy office in Puchong. He works as a general worker every Tuesday and Thursday from 9am to 5pm. For the rest of the weekdays, he would work as a part timer at a restaurant which is owned by Ong's friend for about five hours per day. He also takes his daughter to the Lovely Disabled Home in Petaling Jaya on weekdays. The home is an NGO that provides job opportunities to physically and mentally challenged individuals aged 18 and above. The reason Ong encourages his children to work is not only to teach them how to earn a living and be independent, but also to help them adapt to the working environment. He sees it as valuable training, especially for his daughter, who has difficulty with fine motor skills. Patience and perseverance Caregiving is not just demanding work; it also requires a lot of patience, empathy, and, most of all, perseverance. It continues until the end. This is how 69-year-old Dorothy George Dass described her journey in raising her now 24-year-old son, Abraham Isaac Pereira, who was diagnosed with autism when he was six years old. Abraham Isaac Pereira (centre) together with his mother Dorothy George Dass (left) and his sister Denise Frances. — Picture by Hari Anggara Despite being on the autism spectrum, Abraham holds a diploma in Automotive Engineering and is currently working as a mechanic, with a lifelong dream of working for an F1 team in the future. This all did not happen overnight, Dorothy shared. It required a lot of repetitive work and hours of behavioural therapies which they managed to get at Nasom. 'There were a lot of frustrations in teaching, there's a lot of repetitive work. 'We couldn't just leave what we've learned from the teachers and therapies at the centre, we have to bring it home and continue it. 'We just have to keep repeating ourselves until he gets it right,' Dorothy said. Dorothy, who works as a senior operations admin at a local vending machine supplier company, added that she is grateful to have had employers who were very understanding of her situation. This was especially true when she had to go back and forth between dropping her son off at school and being present at some of his therapies and activities at Nasom, including choir classes and performances. * If you are lonely, distressed, or having negative thoughts, Befrienders offers free and confidential support 24 hours a day. A full list of Befrienders contact numbers and state operating hours is available here: There are also free hotlines for young people: Talian Kasih at 15999 (24/7); Talian BuddyBear at 1800-18-2327(BEAR)(daily 12pm-12am); Mental Health Psychosocial Support Service (03-2935 9935 or 014-322 3392); Life Line Association Malaysia helpline at 15995 and Jakim's Family, Social and Community Care Centre (WhatsApp 0111-959 8214).
