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Yahoo
09-07-2025
- Yahoo
If Someone Does These 10 Things, They Might Be a 'Master Manipulator,' Psychologists Warn
If Someone Does These 10 Things, They Might Be a 'Master Manipulator,' Psychologists Warn originally appeared on Parade. Manipulation can cause serious harm to people's mental and emotional (and even physical) well-being. However, some people are so skilled at deceiving others that it's challenging to spot their tactics until it's too late. These people hold the dubious distinction of "master manipulators." While "master manipulation" is not a clinical term, psychologists often know one when they see one (or hear victimized clients talking about one)."A master manipulator is a magician so talented that you forget there's a show," warns Dr. Patricia Dixon, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist. "They're the covert operators of the influence game, employing charm and deceit with equal precision until you start thinking, 'Maybe I'm the one overreacting.' They are the art of making you believe you're the puppeteer when they're secretly pulling the strings."Psychologists share 10 subtle things master manipulators often do, plus ways to cut the strings and reclaim your Master manipulators are proof that first impressions aren't everything."Master manipulators often present as likable and attentive," says Dr. Monique Mendoza, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist. "Manipulators will often initially be described as 'charming,' or make you feel like you're the only one in the room."However, it's all a facade. The goal is to build (and abuse) trust. "They are always quick with a response and always seem to be able to draw people close to them, but you never really feel like you are getting to know them," adds Dr. John Delatorre, Psy.D., a forensic psychologist. "That's the key—they make you feel like some connection is stronger than what is actually real. In order to get what they want, a master manipulator has to have access to people to give things to them."Related: Despite the faux charm and charisma, master manipulators seem to cry foul constantly."Manipulators position themselves as a victim, often to seek sympathy and support," Dr. Mendoza warns. "You may hear statements like, 'He always has it out for me,' or 'I feel like I can never get ahead.'" One psychologist reveals that master manipulators weaponize guilt—a form of emotional blackmail."They make you you owe them something when you know you don't," reports , a psychologist with Thriveworks. "They may say things like: 'If you really cared for me, you would do this,' or 'You're so selfish for not considering my feelings.'"Related: While psychologists note that gaslighting is often misused these days, master manipulators absolutely employ these tactics. "They try to convince you that the sky is green when it's clearly blue," Dr. Dixon says. "They want to plant seeds of doubt and confusion in your mind, making you question your own observations." Dr. Vaughan points out that master manipulators lie so much that they can even fool themselves."They have a hard time keeping their stories together," she explains. "They make promises they don't intend to keep. They often change plans at the last minute."Related: One of the more harmful strategies employed by these individuals is to isolate you from others, with the intention of gaining more control over you and your actions."They often become overly jealous or possessive and try to make you feel bad about yourself with belittling comments, criticisms or humiliation to make you feel inadequate or unworthy," Dr. Vaughan reveals. "They may say things like, 'You're not good enough' [and] 'You're lucky to have me in your life,' for the purpose of wearing down your confidence and making you dependent on them."Related: You know the idea that it's better to give than receive? Big-time manipulators don't live by it—at all."Master manipulators are only about obtaining, not giving," Dr. Delatorre reports, adding that this behavior applies to emotional connection or physical says that master manipulators often employ two schemes to achieve their goals."There's the 'door in the face' technique where the manipulator asks for something outrageous, and the person has to say 'no' but then feels guilty for saying no," he the person feels obliged to say "yes" to a lesser option—which Dr. Delatorre reveals is exactly what hte manipulator wanted the whole time."There is also the 'foot in the door' technique, where the manipulator asks for things at an increasing level, so $5 becomes $10 becomes $25 and so on until the manipulator has milked the person dry," he Repair and remorse are not in their repertoire. "Even when caught being a manipulator, the person will never say 'sorry,'" Dr. Delatorre warns. "They will never truly apologize for the harm they have committed. It could be that they do not feel remorse." Perhaps the reason master manipulators don't apologize is that absolutely nothing is ever their fault."They will always place the blame on someone else to keep themselves innocent and in control," Dr. Dixon Master manipulators have a hard time saying "game over," perhaps because it's become a lifestyle."They cannot stop," Dr. Delatorre explains. "Master manipulators have been living this kind of life for so long it's just second nature. When caught, they will just come up with another lie to make it seem like what the person sees is not real."Related: Consider boundaries a guardrail to protect your emotional well-being. It won't be easy to enforce them because master manipulators have serious issues respecting boundaries."Master manipulators often exploit a lack of boundaries to control and influence others," Dr. Vaughan says. "You need to define what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior and communicate assertively. Be prepared to walk away when and if they do consistently ignore your boundaries."Related: Master manipulators can weaponize anything and thrive on triggering emotional reactions and gathering information about you that they can use to increase their control."By limiting engagement and information given, it minimizes their influence over you," Dr. Vaughan explains. "Practice assertiveness by utilizing 'I' statements to express emotions and needs without accusing. Keep information factual and to the point."Related: All the gaslighting can leave you in a constant state of doubt. However, Dr. Mendoza advises people to check in with their minds and guts. If you need help reflecting, she suggests asking yourself: Do I feel drained after our interactions? Do their stories glaze over details to make them look good? Do I worry about what will happen if I say "no" to their requests? "These questions can help you check how this person has been impacting your thinking and decision-making process," she ts Realizing you've been taken for a ride can send you on a shame spiral. Remember, it's not your fault."Many of their tactics are fully seen for what they are until you stop engaging with them," Dr. Mendoza points out. "Seek support from trusted family, friends or professionals to rebuild your trust in relationships." Up Next:Dr. Patricia Dixon, Psy.D., licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Monique Mendoza, Ph.D., licensed psychologist Dr. John Delatorre, Psy.D., forensic psychologist Dr. Denitrea Vaughan, Psy.D., LPC-S, psychologist with Thriveworks If Someone Does These 10 Things, They Might Be a 'Master Manipulator,' Psychologists Warn first appeared on Parade on Jul 8, 2025 This story was originally reported by Parade on Jul 8, 2025, where it first appeared.
Yahoo
02-07-2025
- General
- Yahoo
10 Phrases That Make You Sound Gracious (Even When You're Annoyed)
10 Phrases That Make You Sound Gracious (Even When You're Annoyed) originally appeared on Parade. No matter who you are, you know what it's like to be annoyed. Whether you're at work, talking to your partner, having a discussion with a friend or even interacting with a stranger, there are moments when something just gets under your skin. It can be a comment that you don't agree with, a co-worker nagging you about something or someone close to you saying something that requires you to set boundaries. When those instances occur, it's hard not to snap as a reaction. That's why we're sharing 11 that make you sound (even when you're annoyed).After all, you don't want to let your emotions get the best of you and end up saying something in the heat of the moment that you'll later regret. While it's easy to let your frustration take over, responding with grace can not only preserve your relationships, but it'll also result in you feeling more in control. The right words can defuse tension from happening, help you stand up for yourself respectfully and keep the conversation moving in a positive direction. To help with that, we reached out to psychologist Dr. Patricia Dixon. Thanks to her expertise, she tells Parade a few of the best things people can say that get their point across, but in a more gracious, kinder might even be surprised by how simple some of these phrases are. That way, the next time you find yourself in a real-life situation where you're feeling a little irritated, you can use one of them. It'll be like your own secret tool—helping you stay calm, composed and in control, even when you're tempted to lose your Have you ever been in a discussion where a suggestion is brought up and you're unsure how to respond in a congenial manner because you're running short on patience? That's where this phrase—like all of the ones in this list—can come in handy.'This phrase demonstrates graciousness by indicating that you value the other person's input enough to consider it carefully, rather than giving an immediate, potentially harsh response,' Dr. Dixon explains. 'It conveys that you want to respond intentionally, as a less gracious way of saying this might be, 'I have no intention of incorporating anything you have to say, and I need to buy some time to figure out how to respond politely because I don't want to hurt your feelings by just saying no.'' If someone at work or a family member is annoying you and pushing you to be part of something that you'd rather not be, this could be a good way to say no, says Dr. Dixon.'This is a good example of a gracious way of setting boundaries with someone,' she points out. 'It politely declines a request or suggestion while expressing appreciation. A more brutal alternative that you should refrain from saying is, 'I don't want to do that,' which can come across as dismissive or unkind.' If you're ever irritated, especially at work, Dr. Dixon advises using this statement. 'This is a polite and gracious way of postponing a discussion or decision that isn't a priority at the moment,' she says. 'It indicates that you'll revisit the topic later. A more direct, less gracious way of saying this might be, 'I don't have time for that right now,' which can seem dismissive or abrupt.'Related: Misunderstandings are bound to happen. In those cases, this is a great phrase to use.'This phrase graciously communicates that you would never intentionally hurt someone and shows empathy by acknowledging their feelings,' Dr. Dixon expresses. 'It also aims to clarify your perspective. A less gracious way of saying the same might be, 'I don't know why you'd ever think that of me. I hope you know me better than that,' which can sound defensive or dismissive.' Instead of having a black-and-white mindset, Dr. Dixon tells Parade this considerate reply is great to use when someone you're speaking with has a different viewpoint that might annoy you.'This is a gracious way of acknowledging that someone has helped you see things from a different perspective. It shows appreciation for their input,' she reveals. 'A harsher response, which you may be thinking in your head could be, 'I think your perspective is strange,' which dismisses their viewpoint and can come across as dismissive.' Seeing how everyone has their own opinions, people aren't going to agree on every topic, which can sometimes be annoying and even cause tension. However, this phrase can be a good response.'The graciousness here is that it recognizes both sides have valid points and that the disagreement shouldn't harm the relationship or cause unnecessary conflict,' Dr. Dixon stresses. 'It's a diplomatic way to end a debate. A crueler way of saying the same thing could be, 'There's no point in arguing about this; we just won't see eye to eye.''Related: If someone in your life is pestering you about something that is annoying you, you might feel like snapping at them. However, Dr. Dixon shares that this phrase is a more courteous response.'This phrase sounds gracious because it acknowledges that the other person's goals or thoughts might have value, but they don't fit into your current direction,' she notes. 'It leaves the door open for future consideration. A more blunt or less polite way of saying this might be, 'I already have a plan and a roadmap, and I didn't ask for your opinion or care to hear it.'' Dr. Dixon advises keeping this phrase in your back pocket the next time you're feeling a little perturbed and aren't sure what to say.'This is a gracious way of recognizing the other person's good intentions while setting a boundary,' she says. 'It's gentle and respectful. A less gracious way of expressing the same could be, 'I don't want to talk about that,' or something more dismissive.' According to Dr. Dixon, there are amiable ways to reply to someone who has a different opinion from you, even if you're feeling slightly annoyed at the moment.'This is a tactful way of saying, 'I still think you're wrong, but I don't want to continue this conversation, so I respect your right to be wrong,'' she clarifies. 'You don't want to use a rude response like, 'You're wrong, but I don't have the energy to care,' in that scenario. Instead, this gracious phrase helps maintain civility even when you're annoyed.' While you can't magically hit a pause button when you feel annoyed during a conversation, you can request one, says Dr. Dixon.'This phrase attempts to sound gracious by showing a desire to validate the other person's feelings, while honestly indicating that you're not in a space to engage right now,' she tells Parade. 'You might feel called to say something more direct, or perhaps more honest in the moment, as a way of conveying the same message, like, 'You're talking so much that it's exhausting my mind and emotions. I need a break before I snap.' However, that comes off as rude. This phrase, however, is a more polite way to set boundaries without outright dismissing the other person when you're feeling Next:Dr. Patricia Dixon, licensed clinical psychologist 10 Phrases That Make You Sound Gracious (Even When You're Annoyed) first appeared on Parade on Jun 23, 2025 This story was originally reported by Parade on Jun 23, 2025, where it first appeared.
Yahoo
20-06-2025
- Lifestyle
- Yahoo
13 Common Phrases People Over 60 Use Without Realizing How Outdated They Sound
13 Common Phrases People Over 60 Use Without Realizing How Outdated They Sound originally appeared on Parade. Language is a wonderfully curious thing—always growing, always shape-shifting. Even when two people are from the same area, the way they use words can feel like different dialects from parallel worlds, especially across generations. For instance, a saying that once sparkled with relevance might now land with a puzzled blink when it's used, quietly revealing the era it came from at the same time. If you're curious what some expressions and sentences might fall into that, keep reading because we're revealing 13 common phrases people over 60 use without realizing how outdated they Dr. Jenny Shields, the founder of Shields Psychology & Consulting and Dr. Patricia Dixon of the podcast Healing Mentalit-Tea helped us round them up. They both not only call out certain phrases, but they also explain what they mean in case you're confused. Beyond decoding their original intent, they take it a step further by offering modern-day equivalents, giving helpful insight into how language has shifted and what expressions people might be using today out all of the outdated phrases below and see if you are guilty of using them, have ever heard them before or know someone who still uses them in their everyday vocab. You may be surprised to find out which ones our experts 'This phrase has been around for centuries—and it sounds like it!' Dr. Shields stresses. 'The message is solid: handle it now before it snowballs. But for younger people hearing it, it can sound like a folksy nudge from someone's great-aunt rather than a helpful reminder.''Today's generation might say something like, 'Nip it in the bud,' which has a similar vibe, but sounds a bit more modern,' Dr. Dixon explains. 'I've always understood this older phrase to mean that fixing a small problem right away can prevent it from turning into a bigger mess later—whether it's in relationships, business or even just keeping your house organized. The idea is that addressing issues early on saves you from having to do nine more stitches down the line.'Related: "If you've never used a pager, this phrase can land as a little out of touch,' Dr. Shields explains.'This outdated phrase basically means, 'Reach out if you need anything,' Dr. Dixon reveals. 'It's a polite way of saying, 'Let me know if I can help.' Nowadays, people might say, 'Hit me up if you need to' or 'Text me if you need me," which are both more casual and more immediate.' Ummm, what?! If you haven't heard this dated expression, Dr. Shields is breaking it down.'This phrase used to be about grit and self-reliance, but today it can come across as dismissive or disconnected,' she tells Parade. 'It assumes everyone starts from the same place, with equal access to support, time and stability.' 'This was a gentle way of saying, 'I'll tentatively schedule you,'' Dr. Dixon says. 'Today, people might say, 'I'll hit you up,' or 'OK, I've got you locked in.' It's all about keeping things flexible but still making sure it happens—just with a little more digital flair.' 'This classic saying used by people 60 or older means that being kind and friendly gets you farther than being sour or aggressive,' Dr. Dixon points out. 'It's about the power of kindness over harshness. Today's slang might include phrases like, 'That's a vibe' or 'Kindness over clout,' focusing on authenticity and positivity over negativity.'Related: 'This phrase used by people over 60 is a straightforward way of saying you've left a message, but let's be honest—answering machines are almost a thing of the past nowadays, which is why this is outdated," Dr. Dixon notes. "Now, we'd say, 'Check your messages' or 'I DM'ed you,' which is way more current and digital-friendly.' 'This outdated phrase has long been used to explain playful or impulsive behavior, often without harm intended,' Dr. Shields shares. 'However, today, with greater awareness around bullying, aggression and consent, it can unintentionally excuse actions that deserve to be taken seriously. Most parents and grandparents want to raise boys who are kind, respectful and accountable. Letting go of this phrase doesn't limit boys. It affirms how much we believe in who they're becoming.'Related: Not sure what this means? That's because "taping" something is pretty much a thing of the past.'This used to be a common way to ask someone to record a TV show on a VCR—back when we actually owned tapes and knew what a VCR was!' Dr. Dixon Shields adds, 'This outdated phrase reminds us how quickly the world has changed. If you're talking with someone younger, updating your wording a bit can help keep them in the moment with you, instead of trying to decode the reference.'Dr. Dixon agrees, telling Parade, 'These days, someone would probably just ask, 'Which streaming service is it on?' instead.' 'This phrase was once a compliment, meant to recognize women who built professional lives outside the home,' Dr. Shields says. 'Though, today it can sound outdated or even patronizing, as if a woman's ambition still needs to be called out or labeled. Younger generations expect women to have full careers, and pointing it out can make it feel exceptional when it's simply normal. It also reduces someone's identity to their job, rather than seeing them as a whole person.' If you're confused by this method of payment, it's because it was more common with other generations. That's why our experts say it's an outdated phrase in today's world.'That was a classic question from a time when writing checks was the norm,' Dr. Dixon states. 'The modern version of that statement would be something like, 'Can I Zelle or Cash App you?' It's much quicker and more digital-friendly.'Related: 'Someone 60 or older might use this as it means splitting the bill, which was the polite way to say 'We're sharing this,'" Dr. Dixon explains. "Today's generation might say, 'Let's split this' or 'Let's go half on this.' It's a little more straightforward and less formal, but just as clear.' This outdated phrase was often meant to express kindness or fairness, with the intent of saying, 'I treat everyone the same.'' Dr. Shields explains. 'However, if used today, for many people of color, it can feel like their identity and lived experience are being erased. The truth is, race often shapes the way people move through the world. What builds trust isn't pretending we're all the same. It's saying, 'I see your difference and I respect it.'' 'This old saying was meant to remind people not to toss out something valuable just because it's mixed in with something difficult,' Dr. Shields notes. 'Today, it can sound a little outdated or even a bit dismissive when someone is voicing frustration or rethinking how things have always been done. The heart of the message still holds, but younger folks might hear it as, 'Don't make a fuss.'' Up Next:Dr. Jenny Shields, psychologist, the founder of Shields Psychology & Consulting Dr. Patricia Dixon, psychologist, of the podcast Healing Mentalit-Tea 13 Common Phrases People Over 60 Use Without Realizing How Outdated They Sound first appeared on Parade on Jun 19, 2025 This story was originally reported by Parade on Jun 19, 2025, where it first appeared.
