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AsiaOne
4 days ago
- General
- AsiaOne
Why I said 'I do' at 26 — even before most of my friends thought about it , Lifestyle News
When I signed our marriage certificate at 26, I didn't think I was doing anything radical. After all, I was viewing almost-weekly Instagram stories of my Junior College schoolmates tying the knot, so it seemed like plenty of my peers were getting hitched. But according to the latest figures from the Ministry of Social and Family Development's Family Trends Report 2025, the median age for first-time grooms in Singapore in 2024 was 31.1; I was five years below that. And for brides it's 29.6; my wife was 24 when we were solemnised. For us, it's been six months since we locked it in (aka joined in holy matrimony). Looking back, it wasn't a teenage impulse or a fairytale moment. It was a decision born out of long-term commitment, practical SG realities like BTO eligibility (gotta maximise those gahmen grants), and, perhaps unexpectedly, my in-laws. My now-wife and I had been together for close to five years before we tied the knot. We'd already weathered university life, job hunting, and the awkward early-20s phase of trying to figure ourselves out. But when it came to living together or planning a trip for just the two of us, we hit a wall. Her parents — loving, kind, but firmly traditional — had strong reservations about cohabitation before marriage. And so, between wanting a life together and respecting her family's values, we made a choice: we got married. It wasn't some grand proposal with hundreds of rose petals and a drone show over Marina Bay (ok but it was still a super fancy omakase in Japan). Just two people who decided they were ready, even if it was earlier than what is typical. 'Finally!' - but also, 'wah, so fast ah ?' While our closest friends were unsurprised, with their cheeky "finally lah " and "I already guessed" reactions (after all, we had been dating for close to five years), the occasional " wah , so fast ah ?" or "what's the rush?" comments from colleagues and acquaintances reminded us that our timeline was not exactly the norm. To be honest, the external chatter didn't cause us to second guess our decision; if anything, we were even more sure of it because it made us realise "actually, ya hor , what are we even waiting for?" Plus, I wouldn't say less enthu comments were "bad". The people who implied we should give it more thought or pause first didn't come across as unsupportive, it was more like checking if we had "double, triple confirmed" this momentous decision. Checking if we had the financial means to afford the coming big purchases (wedding, honeymoon, house, renovation), the maturity to weather the good and bad as a married couple when we were barely in our mid-20s, whether our careers were stable enough, and all the usual conservative Asian brakes installed on any big decision. On the contrary, while the external chatter didn't really faze us, our moments of doubt did give us pause. As two young working adults, we were not exactly rolling in disposable income. Our wedding reception at the end of this year will be intimate and modest (no swanky hotel ballroom), our BTO flat will not be ready until 2028, and our careers are still in their early stages. And my biggest worry: Would I be a "good enough" husband? Still, none of those worries outweighed the clarity I had about one thing: I wanted to do life, and everything that comes with it, with her. Marriage made the man I grew up an only child. That meant that before marriage, I was still living at home, eating my grandma's cooking, not being the one in charge of buying groceries, and relying on my parents to settle all my insurance needs. Post-marriage, I had to research insurance needs for my wife and myself (thankfully we have a super solid financial adviser), learn when the best supermarket deals are (discounted "must use by same day" proteins), and settle all the admin stuff. And while I'm still me, I'm also someone else now: a teammate, a planner, a provider (and occasional dishwasher). Essentially, a better version of myself that was, and still is, shaped by partnership, not perfection. I don't mean this in a cliche "marriage forces you to grow up" way. Rather, it gave me a reason to. When you're dating, you can still float around each other's lives. One night, maybe a month after we got married, I came home from work and found my wife sitting on the couch, unusually quiet (she's usually a yapper-cino). She had had a long day-something about a tough client, back-to-back meetings, and barely time to eat lunch. I was tired, too, but instead of letting her marinate (wallow) in her funk and retreating to my usual decompression routine (doomscrolling TikTok, or mindlessly Youtubing), I sat next to her, pulled her feet onto my lap, and asked, "Want to talk or nah ?" She said, "not really," so I understood that she just wanted to be allowed to unwind and babied. I ordered our favourite dessert, put on a favourite Mr Bean episode (she loves Mr Bean), put away the laundry, and just accompanied her till she felt more recharged. It sounds like such a small thing. But it was the first time I realised: this is what building a shared life looks like. It is not about dramatic gestures or constant romance. It is about showing up, not just when it's convenient, but when it matters. It is about adjusting your rhythm so that it matches someone else's, even if only for a night. That moment shifted something in me. I stopped thinking in terms of "my time" or "my space." I started thinking in "ours", and how I should always create a safe space for her where she can just drop everything and relax. Six months in Now, half a year later, while my friends swipe on dating apps and contemplate whether to DTR ("define the relationship"), I spend my evenings making dinner with my wife, going on long walks, or debating whether to watch the last season of Squid Game or rewatch Modern Family for the fifth time. It's quieter, yes, but it's also fuller. Do I think everyone should marry early? No. Honestly, I never even thought I would. In my teens and early 20s, I imagined myself following the Singapore script: build your career, settle down closer to your 30s, do the usual dance. But love doesn't always follow timelines. And in our case, the circumstances, the history, the values, they all made sense. I don't romanticise early marriage. It's hard work, and it asks things of you that you might not feel ready for. You learn that love is not just a feeling, but something you nurture every day. It asks for patience when you're both tired and irritable. For generosity when one of you is having a tougher week. For maturity when making decisions that shape your future as a unit. And sometimes, it asks for faith, that even if you do not have it all figured out, you will figure it out together. It may be tough at times, but I also don't regret it. Not for a second. Because when you find someone you want to come home to, build a life with, and grow alongside — not just despite your age, but because of where you are in life — you find that marriage isn't about settling down. It's about growing up, together. [[nid:718596]] This article was first published in .
The Star
07-07-2025
- General
- The Star
Paternity leave take-up in Singapore rose to 56% in 2023; experts hope for further boost after extension
SINGAPORE (The Straits Times/ANN): Slightly more fathers are using their paternity leave to take care of their newborns. The take-up rate for government-paid paternity leave rose from 53 per cent in 2022, to 56 per cent in 2023, in latest figures published by the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF). Maternity leave usage remained high at 74 per cent, similar to past years, said the Family Trends Report 2025 published on July 7. The number of mothers who used their childcare leave dipped slightly from 61 per cent in 2022, to 58 per cent in 2023. For fathers, 53 per cent of them used their childcare leave in 2023, inching up from 52 per cent in 2022, and 49 per cent in 2021. The latest available data was for 2023 as employers have three months after a year ends to submit reimbursement claims to the Government. All data available excludes employers who do not submit claims. Paternity leave was enhanced in April, with fathers now entitled to four weeks of paternity leave, up from two. From April, parents have also been able to share up to six weeks of paid parental leave, which replaces the previous scheme that allowed fathers to share their wives' maternity leave quota. This shared leave scheme will be increased to 10 weeks in April 2026. MSF's report noted that more employers have offered flexibility to working parents. The number of full-time employees who had access to flexible work arrangements such as staggered hours and working from home increased from 84.1 per cent in 2022, to 87 per cent in 2023. Minister for Social and Family Development Masagos Zulkifli said at the National Family Festival Appreciation Event at One Farrer Hotel on July 7 that the Government hopes more employers can support parents in balancing caregiving responsibilities and career aspirations. Dr Mathew Mathews, head of the Institute of Policy Studies' Social Lab, told The Straits Times that with more flexible work arrangement options available, the need to apply for childcare leave may be less pressing. 'Some childcare activities may not require a whole day away from work, thus requiring childcare leave – these care activities can simply require the parent to be at home, still engaged at work, but also able to watch out for a child while he/she is not able to be in a childcare facility,' he said. On the take-up rate of paternity leave remaining stable at over 50 per cent, Dr Mathews said that though more are taking paternity leave over the years, there has been no clear jump in usage. This suggests that the idea of paternity leave has still not gained sufficient traction among all groups of fathers, he added. 'The extended paternity leave to four weeks, a period which seems to be more significant, might increase the signature of paternity leave, making it more than a 'token' but a reasonably long, dedicated period to help fathers adjust and be involved in their parental duties,' he said. 'Hopefully, this will result in a substantial increase in utilisation over the next few years.' Singapore Management University sociologist Paulin Straughan said: 'Ideally, we would like to see more fathers embrace co-parenting responsibilities so that mothers do not feel overburdened. The extension from two to four weeks is significant as the leave allows fathers to contribute beyond taking care of logistic details or help out.' Four weeks would allow them to take over while their wives recover from childbirth and get into a good rhythm of caring for a newborn, and it allows sufficient time for fathers to bond with their newborns, Professor Straughan added. Pre-school and early intervention The Family Trends Report also looked at statistics and trends related to early childhood education and the growth of early intervention services. The number of full-day infant care places has nearly tripled over the past decade, from 5,628 in 2015 to 16,207 in 2024, and full-day childcare places have almost doubled, from 104,066 in 2014 to 200,847 in 2024. The cohort enrolment rate of children aged three to four was 90 per cent in 2024, the same as in 2023. And 93 per cent of children aged five to six were enrolled in pre-school, slightly down from 95 per cent in 2023. Support for young children with developmental needs has also increased, said MSF. A total of 10,186 children were served by early intervention programmes in 2024, up from 8,950 in 2023. Early intervention programmes support children with developmental delays or disabilities by addressing potential issues early on, preventing them from worsening and supporting the children's needs. In 2024, about 1,500 places were added to early intervention centres, increasing capacity by 26 per cent from 2023. - The Straits Times/ANN
New Paper
07-07-2025
- General
- New Paper
Fewer marriages and births in Singapore in 2024: MSF
Fewer couples tied the knot in 2024, with a more than 10 per cent drop from the record-high number of marriages registered in 2022. A total of 26,328 couples registered their marriages in 2024, down from 28,310 in 2023 and 29,389 in 2022, during a post-pandemic surge when Covid-19 rules were relaxed. The 2022 figure is the highest since data on marriages was first published in 1961. These latest numbers were released by the Ministry for Social and Family Development on July 7 in their Family Trends Report 2025. The 37-page report laid out statistics related to stages of family life like marriage, parenthood, early childhood and ageing. The number of civil marriages dropped across all age groups in 2024, but the decline was most significant among marriages involving brides and grooms aged 25 to 34. The number of civil marriages involving brides aged 25 to 29 fell by 988 in 2024, and by 506 for those aged 30 to 34. Similarly, civil marriages involving grooms aged 25 to 29 fell by 758 in 2024, and by 583 for those aged 30 to 34. "Decisions surrounding marriages are deeply personal, but we can do more to assure couples if they do choose to start a family," said Minister for Social and Family Development Masagos Zulkifli in a speech at the National Family Festival Appreciation Event held at One Farrer Hotel on July 7. Singapore has enhanced its marriage and parenthood support over the years, he added. "As a community, we can also support young couples around us, such as through sharing our own journeys and lessons." In 2024, a total of 7,382 marriages ended in a divorce or an annulment, a 3.7 per cent increase from 7,118 in 2023, according to data from the Department of Statistics Singapore (DOS) on July 7. Marriages have been more stable in recent years. The average number of marital dissolutions per year between 2020 and 2024 was 7,291, lower than the yearly average of 7,536 between 2015 and 2019. The median age at which people got married in 2024 remained similar to that in 2023. Grooms in Singapore got married at the median age of 31.1, while brides wedded at the median age of 29.6 in 2024. Singapore's resident total fertility rate, which refers to the average number of babies each woman would have during her reproductive years, remained the same in 2024 from the previous year at 0.97. The 0.97 rate was a historic low in 2023, falling from 1.04 in 2022 and 1.12 in 2021. In 2014, around 11 per cent of female residents aged between 40 and 49 who were ever married did not have any children, and this rose to 15 per cent in 2024. The proportion of such women who have one child rose, from 21.6 per cent in 2014 to 25.1 per cent in 2024. According to data from DOS in May, there were a total of 33,703 births in Singapore in 2024. This dropped slightly from 33,541 in 2023 and 35,605 in 2022. Similar to the trend in past years, fewer couples who wed in more recent years ended their marriages compared with those who wed earlier. The marriage dissolution rate before the 10th anniversary in a marriage fell among those who got married between 2006 and 2013, compared with the 2005 cohort. The proportion of couples that ended their marriage before their 10th anniversary fell from 17 per cent among those who wed in 2005 to 15.3 per cent for those who wed in 2012, and continued to decline to 14.4 per cent for those who wed in 2013. The most significant improvement was among Muslim marriages. Around 25 per cent of Muslim couples who wed in 2005 ended their marriage before the 10th anniversary, but this proportion fell to 18.2 per cent in couples who married in 2013. This follows government and community-led initiatives like more marriage preparation courses and marital programmes for couples at different stages of marriage over the years. MSF's report also pointed to a 2024 study by the National Council of Social Service on the quality of life of children, youth and caregivers, which surveyed 2,000 respondents. It found that nine in 10 parents of children and youth reported moderate to high family resilience scores. Resilience refers to the ability to cope with and adapt to challenges, or bounce back from difficult life events. Parents who report moderate to high family resilience did well in areas like communication and problem-solving, and have strong family belief systems, said the report. "I am encouraged as the report shows that Singapore continues to be a good place for families. Families are strong and resilient, parents are supported in child-raising, and Singaporeans are embracing a family-friendly society," said Mr Masagos. "Our collective efforts have brought us this far, and we must continue building on this."
AsiaOne
07-07-2025
- General
- AsiaOne
Fewer marriages and births in Singapore in 2024; greater stability for later cohorts, Singapore News
SINGAPORE — Fewer couples tied the knot in 2024, with a more than 10 per cent drop from the record-high number of marriages registered in 2022. A total of 26,328 couples registered their marriages in 2024, down from 28,310 in 2023 and 29,389 in 2022, during a post-pandemic surge when Covid-19 rules were relaxed. The 2022 figure is the highest since data on marriages was first published in 1961. These latest numbers were released by the Ministry of Social and Family Development on July 7 in its Family Trends Report 2025. The 37-page report laid out statistics related to stages of family life like marriage, parenthood, early childhood and ageing. The number of civil marriages dropped across all age groups in 2024, but the decline was most significant among marriages involving brides and grooms aged 25 to 34. The number of civil marriages involving brides aged 25 to 29 fell by 988 in 2024, and by 506 for those aged 30 to 34. Similarly, civil marriages involving grooms aged 25 to 29 fell by 758 in 2024, and by 583 for those aged 30 to 34. "Decisions surrounding marriages are deeply personal, but we can do more to assure couples if they do choose to start a family," said Minister for Social and Family Development Masagos Zulkifli, in a speech at the National Family Festival Appreciation Event held at One Farrer Hotel on July 7. Singapore has enhanced its marriage and parenthood support over the years, he added. "As a community, we can also support young couples around us, such as through sharing our own journeys and lessons." In 2024, a total of 7,382 marriages ended in a divorce or an annulment, a 3.7 per cent increase from 7,118 in 2023, according to data from the Department of Statistics Singapore (DOS) on July 7. Marriages have been more stable in recent years. The average number of marital dissolutions per year between 2020 and 2024 was 7,291, lower than the yearly average of 7,536 between 2015 and 2019. The median age at which people got married in 2024 remained similar to that in 2023. Grooms in Singapore got married at the median age of 31.1, while brides wedded at the median age of 29.6 in 2024. Singapore's resident total fertility rate, which refers to the average number of babies each woman would have during her reproductive years, remained the same in 2024 from the previous year at 0.97. The 0.97 rate was a historic low in 2023, falling from 1.04 in 2022 and 1.12 in 2021. In 2014, around 11 per cent of female residents aged between 40 and 49 who were ever married did not have any children, and this rose to 15 per cent in 2024. The proportion of such women who have one child rose, from 21.6 per cent in 2014 to 25.1 per cent in 2024. According to data from DOS in May, there were a total of 33,703 births in Singapore in 2024. This dropped slightly from 33,541 in 2023 and 35,605 in 2022. Similar to the trend in past years, fewer couples who wed in more recent years ended their marriages compared with those who wed earlier. The marriage dissolution rate before the 10th anniversary in a marriage fell among those who got married between 2006 and 2013, compared with the 2005 cohort. The proportion of couples that ended their marriage before their 10th anniversary fell from 17 per cent among those who wed in 2005 to 15.3 per cent for those who wed in 2012, and continued to decline to 14.4 per cent for those who wed in 2013. The most significant improvement was among Muslim marriages. Around 25 per cent of Muslim couples who wed in 2005 ended their marriage before the 10th anniversary, but this proportion fell to 18.2 per cent in couples who married in 2013. This follows government and community-led initiatives like more marriage preparation courses and marital programmes for couples at different stages of marriage over the years. MSF's report also pointed to a 2024 study by the National Council of Social Service on the quality of life of children, youth and caregivers, which surveyed 2,000 respondents. It found that nine in 10 parents of children and youth reported moderate to high family resilience scores. Resilience refers to the ability to cope with and adapt to challenges, or bounce back from difficult life events. Parents who reported moderate to high family resilience did well in areas like communication and problem-solving, and had strong family belief systems, said the report. "I am encouraged, as the report shows that Singapore continues to be a good place for families. Families are strong and resilient, parents are supported in child-raising, and Singaporeans are embracing a family friendly society," said Masagos. "Our collective efforts have brought us this far, and we must continue building on this." [[nid:712625]] This article was first published in The Straits Times . Permission required for reproduction.
