6 days ago
Harvard-trained expert: This mindset shift can make you 'a lot happier' and more fulfilled—most people don't know about it
Happiness expert Laurie Santos gets nauseous when she thinks about dying, she says — but she regularly does it, anyway.
People who habitually considering their own mortality and the brevity of life — like how any meal or conversation could be your last — are generally happier than those who don't, Santos said during a live taping of the "Last Meal with Tom Nash podcast" on March 12.
The reason: Remembering that life is short can gently force you to be more present, gracious and experience life to the fullest, said Santos, a Yale University professor and Harvard University-trained psychologist.
You shouldn't overly dwell on the state of your health or how you're going to die, she added.
"The research shows if you think about death just enough ... [that mindset] can actually make you psychologically a lot happier," Santos said during the event. "Every once and while, remembering [that life] is finite — I could go at any moment — reminds you to make the best of [your life]."Santos isn't the only researcher who recommends considering your own mortality as a way to be happier. If you live like you're dying, you'll prioritize more of life's small pleasures that you might otherwise take for granted, according to professional "death doula" Alua Arthur.
For Arthur — a bestselling author and the founder of Going With Grace, a Los Angeles-based end-of-life planning and support organization — that means anything from eating more "delicious food" to speaking "a little bit more clearly about how I feel," she said on a February episode of the "A Bit of Optimism" podcast.
Similarly, reflecting on how you'd live your life differently if you only had months to live is a good practice, author and hospice nurse Julie McFadden told CNBC Make It on November 12. It can help clarify your priorities and what you want most out of life, she said.
"Talking about death, thinking about your own mortality, to me, really helps you live better, live more meaningful[ly], and I think that helps you die more peacefully," said McFadden, who wrote the 2024 book "Nothing to Fear: Demystifying Death to Live More Fully."
Thinking about death is just one way to readjust your mindset around happiness, Santos said. She offered another method: Focus more on your physical, emotional and social wellbeing than on money, work or fame. When you can, prioritize activities like sleeping in, chatting with a friend or journaling, she said.
"We're often pursuing that stuff at opportunity cost of the stuff that really does matter," said Santos. "Social connection, rest, taking care of our bodies, some physical exercise, eating healthier ... These are the things that really do move the needle behaviorally."
