Latest news with #IlanaDunn
Yahoo
07-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Dating apps are doomed because Gen Z is locked in on meet-cutes, former Hinge content lead says: They want to vibe their way through meeting people
Ilana Dunn, host of the podcast and former Hinge content lead, said that while dating apps are making an effort to change, there's only so much they can do. She predicts more Gen Zers and millennials will take part in in-person meetups to find a romantic partner. Ilana Dunn didn't set out to become a dating coach. Like many of us, she endured years of trials and tribulations in relationships and relied on dating apps to help find her person. Dunn, now the host of the Seeing Other People podcast with nearly 50,000 subscribed listeners, had worked for several years in the music industry creating behind-the-scenes content for artists and bands. But her dating life was a 'complete dumpster fire,' she told Fortune. 'I had this pattern that I couldn't break of only dating emotionally unavailable men who worked in the music business,' Dunn said. 'And so after my who-knows-what number bad breakup, I felt like I hit rock bottom and I couldn't listen to music. I need[ed] to get out of this industry, because it [was] causing me so much pain.' With that, Dunn left the music industry to take a content lead position at Hinge in 2018. 'When this opportunity came up, I was like, 'Wow, what a cool way to use all of the pain and heartbreak that I've been through to help even just one person out there,'' she said. 'It would make it all worth it.' Shortly after Dunn joined Hinge, dating-app popularity was starting to peak. Hinge was acquired by the Match Group in 2019, which gave it some juice, and COVID-19 ushered in a pandemic-lockdown era dating boom. Dunn even matched with her husband on a dating app—although she said their connection formed in person over a glass of wine. Little did Dunn know at the time that several years later, dating apps would tank under new dating expectations and sentiment from younger generations. Forbes found in a 2024 survey more than 75% of Gen Zers feel burnt out using dating apps like Hinge, Tinder, and Bumble because they don't feel as if they can find a genuine connection with someone despite how much time they spend on the apps. And Match Group's financial results illustrate these changing attitudes: Its first-quarter profits came in at $117.6 million, compared to $123.2 million in 2024, and paid usership was down 5% from a year ago at 14.2 million users. Even Match Group CEO Spencer Rascoff admitted in a letter posted on LinkedIn dating apps today feel like a numbers game that leaves 'people with the false impression that we prioritize metrics over experience.' This has led several major dating-app brands including Hinge, Bumble, and Tinder to introduce new features and products to their lineup. One example is a feature allowing Tinder users to pair up with friends to encourage double dating. 'This is the way Gen Z wants to connect,' Rascoff said. 'They want to vibe their way through meeting people.' While Dunn said she's glad the dating apps are trying to evolve— 'because they need to'—she said she doesn't think there's anything they can do to save the dating app industry altogether. 'They can try to come up with more ways to [allow] people to assess chemistry, but unless they are really pushing people to meet in real life by maybe creating more in-person activations and events where people can assess, 'Oh, is there a vibe here?' I don't know that they will make the comeback to being as big as they once were.' Gen Zers and millennials have become increasingly interested in 'meet-cutes' or meeting a romantic partner in real life instead of on a dating app. 'I don't want to just be chatting people online,' Louise Mason, a millennial freelance marketing specialist from Doncaster, U.K., previously told Fortune. 'I don't want a penpal.' That's led more people to start hosting in-real-life meetups like Max Gomez, a Gen Z communications professional, who hosted a 'Champagne and Shackles' party where they matched up partygoers. They posted fliers around their neighborhood and invited a bunch of strangers for some matchmaking 'in real time,' Gomez previously told Fortune. Dunn also recently hosted a master class for the art of the meet-cute with 156-year-old wine brand Maison Louis Jadot. The idea was inspired by the classic concept of meeting a significant other: at a bar, sharing wine. 'If you're just sitting on your couch thinking, 'wow, the apps aren't working for me and no one's banging down my door trying to meet me. I'm going to be single forever,' you're not necessarily putting yourself in the best position,' Dunn said. She said she predicts we'll start to see more in-person master classes, singles events, and other opportunities to meet romantic partners now that the sentiment about dating apps is changing. Still, Dunn said the fact dating apps are making an effort to evolve shows. Hinge has lessened the number of matches a user can chat with at once, which forces users to make decisions and prioritize matches they're genuinely interested in. 'I do think [dating apps have] come a long way in helping curate healthy dating behaviors,' Dunn said. 'But I also think there are just so many people who are using them so passively.' Dunn spent about two years at Hinge as a content lead and started her podcast Seeing Other People in 2021, producing two episodes per week featuring dating experts. As a dating coach, she said she always encourages people use the dating apps—but not only apps. 'It's so much easier for somebody to hide behind their phone and put thought into the message that they're crafting,' Dunn said. 'But it is possible to also learn how to connect in real life, and it might take practice. It might take figuring out what you can control, and going to a bar that you're familiar with, ordering a glass of Jadot wine, and striking up a conversation with somebody.' She also said it's about saying 'yes' to things, like an invitation to get drinks with a coworker or seeing who else shows up or a random birthday party. 'Set a small goal for yourself and convince yourself that you can do it, and you'll be really pleasantly surprised at what comes out of it,' said Dunn, using the example of striking up just one conversation with someone you've never met before. Another tip for dating app users: Turn conversations into dates as soon as possible, Dunn said. 'Once you're on the date, that's where you can decide, is there a vibe? Are we interested in each other? Do we feel that chemistry?' Dunn said. This story was originally featured on
Yahoo
20-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
We asked daters what dating in 2025 is like so far
On a Tuesday night in the Chelsea neighborhood in Manhattan, dozens of women — and a few men — ascended to the top floor of a trendy cocktail bar for a "Masterclass in Meet Cutes." The internet has a special fascination with meet cutes, or the rom-com serendipitous way of running into a cute stranger IRL. In the age of dating apps, some argue that the meet cute is dead. The attendees came to the event hoping this was not the case, while the host, dating expert Ilana Dunn, gave attendees some tips to create their own meet cutes. SEE ALSO: Sick of dating apps? Try a dungeon sound bath instead. Before the event, I asked several attendees, both men and women, what their dating lives were like this year. Their responses echoed what I've been hearing from singles online and elsewhere: Dating apps suck, and they're begging to meet people in-person. In 2025, however, chatting up strangers is intimidating thanks to post-lockdown social fatigue and our attachments to our phones. We're more connected than ever before, but fostering actual connections seems near-impossible. Ten daters I spoke to cited well-known reasons behind the app funk: Dating over apps feels transactional, users aren't looking for the same thing and exhibit flaky behavior, and they'd rather meet someone "organically" (in-person). "Everyone is so burned out," Dunn told me. Dunn used to work for Hinge and now hosts the dating and relationship podcast Seeing Other People. "And I think people feel lost." "I'm not really looking for anything casual right now at all," said Tara, a 33-year-old dater, "so the idea of a Tinder and maybe even a Bumble — you know, you see people on there and they're like, 'I'm just open to seeing what happens.' No," she said, "I want to find my damn soul mate." Tara (who, like other daters, is identified by her first name only for privacy) is single after a long-term relationship ended, she told me over the phone, and she's looking to get married. She's not on Tinder as she still sees it as a "hookup app" (incoming Tinder CEO Spencer Rascoff wants to change this about Tinder, especially for younger adults), she didn't find politically aligned people on Bumble as a leftist, and she didn't like Hinge's user interface. Former dater Melody recently got into a relationship, but told me that when she was single, "I absolutely hated the apps but they also felt like the only way to put myself out there and meet people." She's introverted, and dating apps felt like volunteering to go on job interviews. "It's a lot of having the same conversation over and over until one person stops responding," she told me over Instagram. "I'm 34, and I got ghosted by a 34-year-old after six dates," a dater, Bella, told me at the Masterclass. She said she deleted Bumble because she was matching a lot but no one wanted to chat, and she didn't see the point. Out of daters I spoke to, both at the event and otherwise, only one spoke positively of dating apps: Lex, a queer polyamorous dater, who uses both he and they pronouns. "Personally, I've had pretty good experiences with dating apps," they told me over Instagram, describing positive dates and hookups. Still, Lex also described the downsides of the apps too (they're on Hinge and Feeld.) "There's a lot of cishet [cis and straight] dudes out there just swiping on everyone who would actually probably be dangerous for me to connect with," said Lex. "There's a lot of folks that you connect with and then things fizzle before you can ever even get to a date [because] you get busy and overwhelmed or they do. And there's plenty of folks who just don't really know what they want," he continued. A man I spoke to at the class, who declined to give his name, said that at 5'9", any woman who has their height filter on apps set to 5'10" won't see him. Height and dating is a hot topic lately, considering Tinder's new height preference test and the new movie Materialists (about matchmakers). As I wrote for Mashable, daters need to stop obsessing over height, because they could miss out on a great match because of a few inches. He typically has better luck meeting in person, but hasn't had a long-lasting partner since COVID. He's on Hinge and the Jewish dating app Lox Club, however, and attends IRL Lox Club events and speed dating events. Another man I spoke to, Kevin, called dating in 2025 "rough." He used to be on Tinder, but not anymore (and wouldn't elaborate why). Tara said she's prioritizing meeting IRL, "where I might meet someone and being in a space that feels like my aesthetic or my political values will be honored in that space." When we chatted, she discussed going to a debate watch party with supporters of Zohran Mamdani, a socialist candidate for New York City mayor. "I was like, 'That would be a good way to meet someone.' That's the hope," she said. But meeting in person isn't easy, either. Going out to meet people, especially alone, is intimidating in 2025. Tara's breakup knocked her confidence, she said, which makes it harder to strike up conversations with strangers. But she's been going out to a specific bar by herself to get in the habit of being more outgoing. "I think we're all nervous to just approach people," she said. Dater Trystan told me that dating is a non-starter lately. Men aren't interested in building a relationship, but they want a transaction and that's unappealing. "I've gotten off of the apps to focus on meeting people in person to avoid this," she told me over Instagram DM, "but it hasn't actually garnered a better experience for me. It feels like the culture has shifted." "I've always felt like dating apps are a tool, but you can't solely rely on them," said Dunn, who met her husband on Hinge. Apps will never replace real-world connections, conversation starters, or moments of spontaneity, Dunn told me. "I think it's really important that people learn how to meet in real life, especially when they want to so badly," she continued. "They just feel like they've been trained to swipe, not speak." One of the daters I spoke to at the masterclass said they came for any tips and tricks of meeting people in-person, or any tangible thing they can be doing — and affirmation that they're not alone. "Just general encouragements of, 'It's not you. You're not alone. You're not the only one struggling with dating and just meeting other people.'" She certainly wasn't: 75 people signed up for the class, and the room filled out by the time it began. At the start of the masterclass, Dunn said she knew it can feel bleak out there, and reiterated that people are swiping, not speaking. Here were her tips for meeting in person: Put down your phone, and pick up a glass of wine (the event was sponsored by the wine company Louis Jadot) Check your body language, not your phone Pay attention to the people around you — what are they drinking/doing? Set a goal: One glass of wine (you see where the sponsorship came in), one conversation with a stranger Send a glass of wine to someone across the bar (again) Women can make the first move Wear something comfortable to meet people Again: put your phone down Participants then asked questions, some about getting over the awkwardness of meeting strangers. Dunn said to lean into the awkwardness and even call it out. Working up courage dominated the conversation, as did — what else? — phones. The daters in the room disliked the discomfort and uncertainty of speaking to strangers, the exact way they want to find a partner. Our society has created such a dependence on phones that people are desperate to get off of them, but fear what that'd look like. We have the convenience of finding a partner at our fingertips, yet lack real connections. Afterwards, attendees hung around to drink more wine while Dunn chatted with them. I asked one of the attendees I spoke to beforehand what she thought of the class. She thought Dunn made some good points. "The phone thing was huge," she said.
