Latest news with #JoshuaColeman
Chicago Tribune
20 hours ago
- General
- Chicago Tribune
Asking Eric: Longtime friend keeps forgetting lunch dates
Dear Eric: My husband and his siblings inherited a home. My daughter offered to move her family into one of the apartments and take care of the property. We decided on a figure that would cover the bills in the form of rent. Several years ago, she began withholding rent, she would only pay when I would ask for additional money due to a large house expense. In no way did her rent even come close to paying the bills any longer. Rather than argue, I left it alone and quietly paid the bills, letting her live off me for at least four years. Last year, the family realized that they could no longer keep up the expenses on the home, so it was sold. I arranged with the new owner to let my daughter stay for a monthly rent. She then suddenly moved out, never reached out at Christmas and was gone with me having no idea where to. I have been shut out; she no longer texts me and I have heard virtually nothing for months. Am I the bad guy here? I am not sure what to do, I am beside myself with grief for the loss of my only daughter and her kids. Should I just let this go? We are getting older, and my husband is not well so it would be nice to at least have family around. His siblings no longer speak with him since the sale of the house, which was quite a mess. Let me know who you think should be the first to try and salvage any sense of relationship. – Mourning Mom Dear Mom: You're not the bad guy. You did more than enough to keep your daughter afloat, even at the expense of your own peace of mind and wallet. This is not about you. It's about her and her actions. I know this is a cold comfort, but it may help to recognize that you've been harmed here. It's also possible that her actions also contributed to the conflict around the sale. This isn't to say that she's the bad guy. There are people who are hurting and there are people who are letting their hurt hurt others. The book 'When Parents Hurt' by Joshua Coleman may offer you some insight and solace. It's possible the foundations of this split may have been laid years ago, and perhaps you've been trying to fix a faulty foundation with financial support. It wasn't the wrong thing to do, but it's left you without a solution now. Focusing on your own healing, and perhaps seeing a family therapist with your husband, will help you reframe some of this. Dear Eric: For many years, three friends and I have gotten together for lunch once a month. The venue changes each time, and we decide then where and when we will meet the next month. Three of us write down the information and the fourth person may or may not jot it down. The next month comes and three of us show up at the appointed time. Pat does not. So, someone calls her to remind her, even though a reminder message is sent to everyone that morning before we meet. She says she forgot, and we wait for her to come. This last week it happened again. I strongly urged the others to call her – that the natural consequence is that she misses joining us this time. One of the other gals said she was absolutely calling her, that we can't give up on our longtime friend. To me it is not giving up on her, but it may suggest that she be more responsible. Who is right? Or do we just continue to enable her? – No More Reminders Dear Reminders: If this has been going on for years, it seems likely that Pat is no longer being irresponsible but rather just following the pattern that the four of you long ago established. Now, to me, this is chaotic – if something isn't on my calendar, it doesn't happen. But Pat works in a different way, apparently sitting at home waiting to be summoned to various locations. I'm not saying it's the best way; but it's reality. You don't have to participate by calling Pat, but I think you set yourself up for on-going conflict if you keep pressing the issue. If others of your friends are willing to keep calling Pat to remind her, let them. You might talk to Pat directly about how waiting around impacts the group, and I'd encourage you to talk to your other two friends about ways that you can maximize the time you have together so that you're not just twiddling your thumbs waiting for Pat. But I don't think anyone needs to be right here.
New York Post
a day ago
- New York Post
Husband allegedly killed wife for cheating — then murdered another man because he ‘knew he was going to jail': police
A jilted husband allegedly confessed to killing his wife while accusing her of cheating on him — then hunting down another man to murder because he 'knew he was going to jail,' according to a criminal complaint. Father of two Joshua Coleman, 30, confessed to shooting his 22-year-old wife, Mandy Coleman, in the head inside their home in Ridgeway, Virginia, during a fight last Tuesday, according to a criminal complaint obtained by WDBJ. He then hunted down 68-year-old William Morey because he 'knew he was going to jail' anyway, according to the complaint, which did not elaborate on why he wanted to kill Morey. Advertisement 3 Joshua Coleman allegedly shot his wife while accusing her of cheating on him, police said. Facebook / Josh Coleman Coleman initially could not locate Morey — until he went back to his own home, where he found the other man outside while heading to check up on Mandy, the report said. Coleman then shot him dead, too, according to the affidavit — with the dead man's bullet-ridden body in the street leading cops to the slain wife inside the house. Advertisement Coleman was quickly 'identified as the suspect in connection with the murders,' Henry County Sheriff's Office said — and 'deputies also became concerned for the welfare' of the Colemans' 'two small children.' 3 Coleman, pictured here, is also charged with killing another man, 68-year-old William Morey. 'An immediate, coordinated effort was launched to locate the children and the suspect,' the sheriff's office said. Coleman was finally busted during a trafic stop and 'found to be armed with a handgun and an AR-15 rifle,' deputies said. Advertisement 'The two children were found inside the vehicle, safe and unharmed. Coleman then confessed to shooting his wife in the head during an argument in which he accused her of cheating on him, the court docs said. It was unclear why he targeted Morey, whose relationship to the Colemans was not immediately clear. Coleman is charged with two counts of first-degree murder as well as child abuse. He is being held in the Henry County Adult Detention Center without bond. 3 The couple's two children were found safe in Joshua Coleman's car when he was arrested. Facebook / Carolyn Waller Mize Advertisement 'This is a heartbreaking and tragic situation that has deeply affected two families and our entire community,' Sheriff Wayne Davis said. 'Our hearts go out to the loved ones of the victims during this incredibly difficult time.' Ridgeway is a small town of only about 750 residents in rural southwestern Virginia, just north of the North Carolina border.
IOL News
7 days ago
- General
- IOL News
When blood isn't thicker: 5 reasons adult children cut off their families
Research reveals around 1 in 10 parents in the world are now estranged from at least one adult child, a statistic that resonates globally, including here in South Africa. Image: Thuanny Gantuss /pexels Scroll through TikTok or YouTube long enough, and you'll find them: raw, often tearful storytimes from people explaining why they've gone no contact or low contact with their parents. At first glance, it can sound shocking, even unthinkable. Aren't parents supposed to be our safest place? Yet, behind every decision to step away lies something deeper, more painful and very real. Far from being impulsive or cruel, experts say estrangement is often the final act of self-preservation after years, sometimes decades, of trying to make it work. Beyond the stereotype Dr Joshua Coleman, psychologist and author of "Rules of Estrangement" (2021), says, 'Adult children rarely cut off contact without years of distress and failed attempts to repair the relationship.' Research reveals that around 1 in 10 parents in the world are now estranged from at least one adult child, a statistic that resonates globally, including here in South Africa. Contrary to stereotypes about 'sensitive' millennials or Gen Z, the choice often reflects courage and deep grief, not rebellion. When love feels like harm One of the most common and most hidden reasons for estrangement is emotional abuse and chronic invalidation. This doesn't always look dramatic. Sometimes it's the parent who always criticises, uses guilt as a weapon, or dismisses feelings with phrases like 'You're too sensitive". "Psychology Today" explains these patterns erode self-esteem and make a relationship feel unsafe, even if no one outside the family sees it. And healing sometimes requires distance. And for those unacquainted with estrangement, merely listening without judgment can serve as a powerful act of compassion. Image: cottonbro studio /pexels Boundaries and what happens when they're ignored Boundaries are essential in any healthy relationship. But when a parent repeatedly breaks them, showing up uninvited, criticising your partner, or undermining how you raise your children, it's not about miscommunication. It's a pattern. Dr Lindsay Gibson, author of "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents", says, 'Persistent boundary violations often force adult children to choose between constant conflict and walking away.' Sometimes, even no contact isn't enough to stop the intrusion, which can lead to legal steps like restraining orders. Addiction Substance misuse is another painful driver of estrangement. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse (2023), addiction can destabilise entire family systems. For adult children, every interaction may trigger anxiety or dread, not because they don't love their parent, but because the chaos feels impossible to manage. Therapists explain, stepping back is sometimes 'the most loving choice, for everyone involved.' Irreconcilable values and identity-based harm For some, the wedge isn't how a parent behaves day to day; it's who they fundamentally are, or refuse to accept. Estrangement can arise over racism, homophobia, transphobia or political extremism. It may sound superficial to outsiders, but when a parent rejects a part of your identity, the relationship becomes unsafe. No one should be forced to shrink themselves to stay in the family. Cutting the cycle Parenthood often brings painful clarity. Behaviours you once tolerated, criticism, manipulation, neglect, feel unbearable when you imagine them directed at your child. Many adults decide to go low or no contact to stop toxic patterns from repeating. Dr Becky Kennedy, clinical psychologist and parenting author, says, 'Breaking generational cycles sometimes means setting boundaries your parents never did.' Protecting your own children can make the hardest choice feel non-negotiable. What this reveals about modern family dynamics While estrangement still carries stigma, experts agree it also reflects cultural shifts: greater awareness of mental health, clearer understanding of boundaries, and a growing refusal to accept harm, especially when it's labelled 'family.' The South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) notes that more young adults are prioritising emotional safety, even when it means difficult family decisions. If you're considering going no or low contact, know you're not alone. It's rarely about hate; it's often about grief, love, and protecting your peace. Support groups like Stand Alone and therapy with trauma-informed professionals can help you navigate the guilt and sadness that come with stepping back. And if you've never faced it? Listening, without judgment, is a powerful act of compassion. Family ties can shape us, but they don't have to define us forever. Sometimes, choosing distance isn't about turning away from love; it's about finally choosing it for yourself.
Yahoo
10-05-2025
- Lifestyle
- Yahoo
Nostalgia for the Early Days of Parenting
This is an edition of The Wonder Reader, a newsletter in which our editors recommend a set of stories to spark your curiosity and fill you with delight. Sign up here to get it every Saturday morning. Older parents are constantly telling those in the early days to cherish it: It goes by in a flash. But that can be very hard advice to follow when you're in the thick of it, as Stephanie H. Murray wrote in 2022. Ultimately, all a parent can do is 'keep an eye out for the precious moments amid the tumult and chaos,' one mother Murray spoke with told her. 'Do what you can to imprint them in your memory—write them down, or share them with friends. Collect them like gems, so that when your arms are finally free and your eyes are a little clearer, you can turn them over in your hand.' Today's reading list explores both the gems and the challenges of parenting. On Parenthood Why We Long for the Most Difficult Days of Parenthood By Stephanie H. Murray Older parents are always telling parents of young children to cherish every second; it will be gone in a flash. But it's very difficult advice to follow in the thick of it. Read the article. Why Dad's Side of the Family Tends to Miss Out By Chiara Dello Joio Many people have stronger bonds with their maternal relatives. Why? Read the article. A Shift in American Family Values Is Fueling Estrangement By Joshua Coleman Both parents and adult children often fail to recognize how profoundly the rules of family life have changed over the past half century. Read the article. Still Curious? American family life should not be this volatile: Welcome to the age of tremors, Elliot Haspel wrote in 2023. A totally unnecessary way to stress parents out: Julie Beck on the tyranny of school spirit days Other Diversions The not-at-all-funny life of Mark Twain We're all living in a Carl Hiaasen novel. An old-school pitching coach says I told you so. P.S. I recently asked readers to share a photo of something that sparks their sense of awe in the world. Ari sent this photo of a lotus pond in bloom in Bali. I'll continue to feature your responses in the coming weeks. If you'd like to share, reply to this email with a photo and a short description so we can share your wonder with fellow readers in a future edition of this newsletter or on our website. Send us the original, unedited photos from your phone or camera as JPGs—no cropping or shrinking is needed. Please include your name (initials are okay), age, and location. By doing so, you agree that The Atlantic has permission to publish your photo and publicly attribute the response to you, including your first name and last initial, age, and/or location that you share with your submission. — Isabel Article originally published at The Atlantic
