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Irish Examiner
15-07-2025
- General
- Irish Examiner
Julie Jay: Want to finish your dinner when eating out with kids? Screens are often the answer
As an elder millennial, my only true religion is brunch. I love nothing more than paying €15 for eggs on toast and pretending to be impressed with a fancy flat-white when I am secretly as happy at home with my instant stuff. This coffee will be consumed from a mug with so many chips that it is effectively a petri dish at this point. Such is my grá for eating out that I have spent the guts of a mortgage deposit on hipster cafés down through the years. I will most certainly be the old woman who lived in a choux pastry. Sadly, though, my eating out has been seriously curtailed by the arrival of children, because it always ends in mayhem. From the outset, let me just say that I don't blame my kids for their inability to sit through a dinner in a restaurant. Because we don't do it often, I have yet to perfect a formula that will see us all eating a meal in peace, and because I lack the confidence in a happy outcome, we don't do it. However, when we attempt to dine out, the problem is only made worse by their lack of experience, and so the cycle continues until the children are old enough to vote. I have no shame in admitting that before having kids, I would silently judge parents who tucked into their meal while their child was immersed in an iPad. Now, I totally get it. The truth is, the screens are often a necessary tool in facilitating everyone being able to swallow their dinner without risking an unchewed vol-au-vent getting lodged in a parent's oesophagus. Of course, meals in restaurants and pubs have been attempted previously to this summer, but due to us being away from home the last couple of weeks, never have we been forced to use cutlery that wasn't our own with such frequency. With Number One full of beans and Number Two in the full throes of toddlerdom, meals out have been even more chaotic than usual. Most attempts at dining in restaurants end in me feeling utterly defeated and over-tipping to the point of near personal bankruptcy to compensate for having had to run around after a two-year-old or chase my four-year-old around the hotel foyer. It doesn't help that the kids' menu offers only plain pasta with a side of plain pasta. At home, Number One loves cheese, vegetables, and sauce, but when out and about, you'd be forgiven for thinking that he believes a 'pea' is just something you do in a bathroom after a big drink. It was ever so slightly disappointing watching other kids tuck into adventurous things from the adults' menu like tofu curry and deep-fried Camembert. At the same time, Number One voiced his disgust at his pasta arriving in the wrong shape (apparently, penne is your only man). Number Two, thankfully, gobbles up anything placed in front of him, specifically what Number One refuses. Unfortunately, he is also at that stage where he considers himself too big for the high chair but too small to attend a Junior Cert disco — an awkward phase that will last only another 12 years and has resulted in him sitting on my lap for most meals. This was fine, save for the fact he also proceeded to scoff most of my dinner, which is just as well, as it is never too late for Mammy to get a summer body. At every meal out, the two boys flanked me, and my head was going from left to right as if I were a celebrity spectator at a Wimbledon semi-final, with similar bewilderment as to what exactly was going on. On multiple occasions, Number One disappeared under the table as if he were anticipating an earthquake, with me eventually deciding to leave him down there for the duration of the meal, because nothing says 100% Irish like offering a slew of payoffs for good behaviour under the table (literally). Like most things, the more you do it, the better you get at it. I've tried everything to get the kids to sit quietly for a meal, from colouring to cars and games, but I've no choice but to accept that screens are a must for meals out. The iPads have been ordered so yesterday's disastrous breakfast in Mayo will hopefully be avoided in future. (To the waiter who served us, I'm sure we have made you question why you didn't say no to the summer job and head off to San Diego with the rest of your mates, and for that I can only apologise, and over-tip.) It feels like a failure, somehow, to accept that we need iPads to make it through dinner, but quite frankly, I am too defeated to care. This week, I voiced my concern to my mother, telling her how inept I felt in restaurants when the kids started to kick off and how my main course was stone cold by the time I got round to eating it. She insisted that anytime we were brought anywhere, as kids, we were impeccably behaved. It's even more evidence, as if needed, that as parents, we have a unique ability to repress memories and replace them with unicorns and marshmallows as the years go by. Which is why, when my own children are grown and ask how they behaved in restaurants, I will be giving them a five-star review all the way, and over-tipping waiters in the interim to buy their silence.
Irish Times
30-06-2025
- Health
- Irish Times
‘My 14-year-old son has been finding it hard to get to sleep at night'
Question For the last year, my 14-year-old son has been finding it hard to get to sleep at night. He says he can just lie there for hours unable to sleep (before he finally does) and then he is really tired in the morning. It was a big problem in the last term in school as he struggled to go in and then was tired and disengaged when he was there. He assures me that there was nothing worrying him about school – it was just that he could not get off to sleep. Now, in the summer, sleep is less of an issue as he goes to bed later and there is no pressure to get up in morning – thought I don't think the problem has gone away. Also he is due to start in the Gaeltacht next month which has a strict schedule in the morning and I am worried how he will manage. I should also say that he has struggled a bit in school over the years, and he is on a waiting list for an ADHD assessment. I am not sure if his main problem is his lack of a good sleep routine or ADHD or maybe a bit of both. I have also wondered about asking the GP about melatonin. I am aware that he will be starting his Junior Cert year in September and I want to get him in a better routine by then. Answer Lots of children can habitually take a long time to fall asleep when they go to bed even when there is no simple identifiable cause such as anxiety or worry. When sleep/wake-up times are delayed by more than two hours a formal diagnosis of delayed sleep phase syndrome (DSPS) is often used. DSPS is a disruption to the circadian rhythm whereby a person's sleep routine gets out of sync with desired patterns – DSPS does not mean the person does not need the sleep, it is just that they can't go to sleep when they want to. READ MORE This is, of course, can be very disruptive around school and work routines and can lead to sleep deprivation and underperformance. DSPS occurs a lot in adolescence, when sleep patterns naturally change such as needing more sleep during periods of developmental spurts or when their time of alertness can occur later in the day, etc. There is also a strong correlation between sleep problems and ADHD and, as you indicate, the interrelationship is complicated. Certainly, sleep problems can aggravate ADHD symptoms of inattention and distractibility and aspects of ADHD such as a racing mind or high physical energy can make sleep more challenging. Resetting the circadian rhythm There are lots of different things that can assist with creating a better sleep routine and it is usually a case of trial and error to find what works for your son. Many people recommend 'light therapy' as a means to reset the circadian rhythm. This means that your son should get up at the same desired each morning and immediately go outdoors to spend time in natural sunlight. In the winter you can use natural light lamps which can be turned on at wake-up time to mimic outdoor light. Additionally, increasing physical exercise can help, though this might need to be done at the right time such as early in the day so it helps build a better sleep routine. Developing relaxing wind-down activities before sleep can also be really helpful, whether this is reading a book, doing a jigsaw, drawing or listening to a podcast. Different activities work for different children – help your son choose something that he enjoys, which is relaxing, rather than stimulating and which is easily accessible before bed. In addition, lying awake for hours can be frustrating and this frustration can make it harder to sleep. As a result it is also important to agree a plan of action with your son as to what he can do on the nights he can't sleep. This might mean getting up for a few minutes and reading or doing a relaxation exercise or simply recalling happy events as he lies awake. Melatonin and sleep Melatonin is the naturally produced hormone that regulates the body's circadian rhythm. When a person's circadian rhythm is in balance, melatonin levels rise in the evening as a person winds down before they go to bed. These levels peak in the middle of the night before falling in the morning at the time of waking. For many people, taking melatonin in the evening can help reset the circadian rhythm and ensuring a better nights sleep. Melatonin is available by prescription via GPs in Ireland who may recommend this when standard sleep techniques have not been successful and when the lack of sleep is disruptive to the teenager. You could contact your GP now for an assessment or you could wait until the new school year when extra support to get into a better sleep routine might be needed. John Sharry is clinical director of the Parents Plus Charity and an adjunct professor at the UCD School of psychology. See
Sunday World
26-06-2025
- Sport
- Sunday World
Funeral of teen who died in Meath swimming tragedy to take place tomorrow
The 15-year-old from Dundalk died last Friday The of funeral of Dundalk teenager Kofi Owusu will take place on Friday The funeral of teenager Kofi Jackson Owusu, who died last Friday after getting into difficulty in the River Nanny, is set to be held tomorrow. The 15-year-old's body was recovered from the water three hours after the alarm was raised in Laytown, Co. Meath. Mourners will gather at the Eternity Room of Quinn's Funeral Homes, Dundalk today, Thursday, June 26th from 3pm-7pm. His funeral service will take place at The Redeemed Christian Church of God, in Dundalk tomorrow, Friday, June 27th at 1pm. The congregation are set to gather at Quinn's Funeral Home before proceeding on foot to the burial at St. Patrick's Cemetery. He is survived by his parents Tony and Maria, and sisters Faith and Esther. His football club, Redeemer Celtic FC set up a GoFundMe to raise money for his bereaved family. 'The untimely passing of Kofi has left so many heartbroken, and shook a community & town and further to its core,' the page reads. 'A child of fantastic talent, hugely popular with a wide circle of friends. A child whose characteristics show he was raised as a highly respectful youngster, he was a credit to his loving family.' The football club have said that there are 'no words' to ease his family's suffering, but has appealed for support at this 'heartbreaking' time andlaunched a GoFundMe to help support the boy's devastated family in the wake of the tragedy. So far 496 donors to the Kofi Jackson Owusu GoFundMe has raised €11,390 of a €11,000 goal. The teen who lived in Blackrock, Dundalk, had just finished his Junior Certificate at Coláiste Chú Chulainn earlier this month. In a statement following his death, Kofi's football club shared fond memories of the talented player arriving at the club as a young child who needed his shoe laces tied by coaches. 'A ferocious competitor every time he pulled on the Redeemer kit, and this seen us achieve unthinkable success time after time & year after year. 'Kofi was a massive part of our club, Kofi was a massive part of our lives. 'We will strive to keep Kofi's memory within the club, and with absolutely broken hearts.' The club shared a picture of two number 6 jerseys lying on the pitch alongside a bouquet of flowers, adding that the club would be 'closed until further notice'. The of funeral of Dundalk teenager Kofi Owusu will take place on Friday News in 90 Seconds - June 26th The principal of his secondary school, Principal Thomas Sharkey, said they were heartbroken at the death of the 'very caring and very diligent student.' "He's an excellent sportsman. He had just played in an All-Ireland basketball final and in a Leinster soccer final in his age group of under-16. "He finished his Junior Cert exams only 10 days ago, and his older sister was a past pupil of our school. 'Kofi and his family are in all of our thoughts.'
The Journal
21-06-2025
- The Journal
Tributes paid to 15-year-old who drowned in Laytown, Co Meath
TRIBUTES HAVE BEEN paid to a 15-year-old boy from Dundalk who died by drowning after getting into difficulty in the river Nanny in Laytown, Co Meath. The boy has been named locally as Kofi Owusu, from the Blackrock area of Dundalk, Co Louth. It's understood that he had jumped into the river with a number of other children from the footbridge in Laytown when he got into difficulty in the river. The principal of Coláiste Chú Chulainn in Dundalk, Thomas Sharkey, said that the school is heartbroken over the loss of Kofi. He told RTÉ News Kofi was a 'fine young man, very kind, a very caring and a very diligent student.' Sharkey added that supports will be put in place for students and staff within the school community at this difficult time. The school posted a statement to social media which said that Kofi was a 'very caring young man with a wide circle of friends' and an 'accomplished sportsman'. Kofi had recently played in an All-Ireland basketball final and in a Leinster soccer final in his age group of under-16. He had finished his Junior Cert exams just ten days ago. Advertisement Junior Minister Thomas Byrne has said he was devastated to hear of Kofi's death. 'My heart goes out to his family, friends, all those who were around Laytown tonight, and all who are grieving. 'A summer moment has turned into an incalculable loss. 'Thank you to the Coast Guard teams, emergency services, and local volunteers who responded. 'Please respect the family's privacy and Gardai have asked to avoid sharing any images or details online,' he said. Local councillor in Laytown Carol Lennon told The Journal that the community is in shock following the tragic incident. 'Kids jump off that bridge every year, and I suppose no group thinks the worst is going to happen, and yesterday it did. Someone had actually raised safety concerns about jumping off the bridge during the week in the town, and now this has happened three days later, it is just awful. 'Everyone is thinking about the boy's friends and family at this terrible time. 'We need more affordable access to swimming lessons, and better water safety education through schools so children know what to do when it comes to public waterways, and also what the best thing to do is if someone you are with gets into difficulty, or if you yourself get into difficulty. There is basic knowledge there that we need to share, because it saves lives. 'Unfortunately in this case it's too late. This was a tragic, awful accident and support will be needed for the other boys who were there and witnessed this, who have lost their friend and been through something traumatic,' she said. Readers like you are keeping these stories free for everyone... A mix of advertising and supporting contributions helps keep paywalls away from valuable information like this article. Over 5,000 readers like you have already stepped up and support us with a monthly payment or a once-off donation. Learn More Support The Journal
Irish Times
12-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Irish Times
Not caring about exams was teenage me's bluntest form of rebellion. My kids are different
It's not really exam weather, which is a minuscule mercy for all the young people sitting down at desks in school halls across the country. I don't remember much about the Junior Cert which in my day was called the Inter Cert, but I'm nearly sure it was exam-season sunny back then. In contrast, my daughters set off last week for their first exam under gloomy skies, clutching Leap cards and small plastic bags of pens and stationery. One daughter left her phone at home – 'too distracting' – but rang me from a friend's mobile minutes before the English exam so that I could read her some quotes from the battered flashcards she had left scattered across the kitchen table. She was hoping for a question that allowed exploration of her views on the character of Portia in Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice. 'Her ingenious, immovable and intelligent self enables her to find a way around all obstacles,' my daughter had written on a bright yellow card in blue pen. 'Because she is a woman, her father is still controlling her even from the grave.' [ Broadcaster Andrea Gilligan on the Leaving: 'I think the A-level system in Northern Ireland is far superior' Opens in new window ] 'I have a whole feminist thing about Portia, Mum,' J told me as she went off to get the bus to her first State exam. 'Examiners totally eat that stuff up.' We had marked the auspicious occasion earlier by blasting out the song Drive It Like You Stole It from John Carney's film Sing Street, which is part of the curriculum. 'This is your life, you can go anywhere/You gotta grab the wheel and own it/You gotta put the pedal down/And drive it like you stole it.' My other daughter P danced about in the kitchen, energised by the message, and I thought about this wonderful world we live in where English in the Junior Cert now includes studying Carney as well as Heaney . READ MORE I watched the two of them leave and felt a bit emotional. I wasn't sure why but hearing Heaney's Mid-Term Break read out as part of a last-minute cram over breakfast definitely didn't help. The exams marked another milestone for the girls, I suppose. I rang a friend with daughters also doing the Junior Cert. She was teary too. We talked about how proud we were of them but also about the privilege of even being able to do exams when there are a 1½ million girls and young women being subjected to gender-persecution in Afghanistan, banned from attending secondary school or university, who would give anything to be in their position. We marvelled about how prepared our daughters seem to be, how invested in the challenge. I had been neither prepared nor invested in the lead-up to the Inter. I didn't care. My not caring was the bluntest form of rebellion. Caring about exams, according to teenage me, was too much like conforming. In fairness to her, she was a mixed-up kid. In yet another contrast, my daughters have spent much of the past couple of months in their local Starbucks or the library studying their heads off. Self-motivated, I think you'd call it. All I know is that I can take no credit for their industry. And while Starbucks might seem like an odd study hall, I'm assured the coffee chain is conducive to academic preparation. At various libraries across the city, from Kevin Street to Raheny, they've been congregating in groups with friends, going through their topics in studious solidarity. The wonderful innovation that is transition year will wipe the slate clean The relief that I was not having to nag them to hit the books was immense. I just didn't have it in me to nag. Whatever about the Leaving Cert , the Junior Cert really doesn't matter except as a practice run for that more significant and consequential exam and I was never going to pretend otherwise. Anyway, the wonderful innovation that is transition year will wipe the slate clean and then, in fifth year, all the people who flailed or foundered in the Junior Cert can find fresh motivation. Or not. And in the end, they won't be defined by exams or points or CAO options or by how much history or Shakespeare they could regurgitate as a teenager but by who they are as people. By how they made other people feel. There are no State exams to measure that. However it goes when those exam results envelopes are opened, all over the country, thousands of variously prepared or motivated young people have presented themselves to be examined. No matter what the outcome, they deserve our praise and admiration. These ingenious, immovable and intelligent boys and girls have been putting their best feet forward whatever that 'best' looks like, and we know 'best' is different for everyone depending on their personal circumstances. Some of them have parents who can afford maths grinds and Starbucks coffees, some know what it's like to go to school hungry or to have to study quadratic equations in a noisy hostel for the homeless. Watch them all now, on the final lap of this gruelling exam course. Grabbing the wheel. Driving it like they stole it. Legends, every single one of them.
