Latest news with #KristinGallant
Yahoo
17 hours ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
'I love you too much to let you talk to me like that' — and other lines that can help parents set better boundaries with their kids
'Just five more minutes!' 'I'll do my chores later.' 'But my friend's mom lets him stay up late!' If you're a parent, chances are these responses are all too familiar when you try to hold firm on a boundary you've set. And while it's natural for kids to push back, especially as they become more independent, it's just as important for parents to set reasonable limits — and stick with them. In the sixth episode of their podcast, After Bedtime With Big Little Feelings, Big Little Feelings founders Deena Margolin, a child therapist specializing in interpersonal neurobiology, and Kristin Gallant, a parenting coach with a background in maternal and child education, along with their special guest, parenting expert Aliza Pressman, unpack one of the biggest parenting struggles: How do you set limits and still have a close relationship with your kid? Margolin shares how to find that parenting sweet spot for Yahoo's column. On our podcast, Aliza Pressman said something that stopped us in our tracks: The three most important things in parenting? Relationship. Relationship. Relationship. Why? Because science shows that a secure, connected relationship with a parent literally shapes a child's developing brain. It's what builds resilience. It's what helps kids bounce back after hard moments. It's what allows them to grow into emotionally healthy adults. But here's where most of us get stuck: How do you build that kind of connected relationship while also holding real boundaries around things like screen time, chores, how we speak to each other and more? Because the truth is, you can have the most loving, open relationship in the world — and still have to say, 'No, you can't scroll TikTok until midnight.' You can be emotionally attuned and still not let your kid talk to you like a punching bag when they're frustrated. Here's the twist most of us didn't learn growing up: Boundaries are not the opposite of love. They're a deep expression of it. When you set consistent, respectful limits with your child, especially when they push back, you're not shutting them down. You're showing them that their world is safe, predictable and stable. That you can handle their biggest emotions and that you're not going anywhere. And yep, they will push against those boundaries. Not because they want to defy you, but because they want to make sure the limits are real. That you'll still be there, even when they fall apart. Let's say you've set a boundary around screen time. Your tween throws a fit, slams the door and says you're ruining their life. Your job isn't to back down in the name of 'connection.' And it's not to punish or shame them in the name of 'respect.' It's to hold the boundary and hold space for their emotions. You can say: 'I get that you're upset. I'd be mad too if I was in the middle of something I liked and got interrupted. The rule is still no screens after 8, and I'm here if you need to be mad about it.' This is the parenting sweet spot: calm, clear limits and emotional availability. What connection with boundaries can sound like: 'You don't have to like the rule. And I'm still going to hold it.' 'You're allowed to be mad. I'll sit with you in it. But I'm not changing the rule.' 'I love you too much to let you talk to me like that. Let's try again when you're ready.' 'You're having really big feelings right now. I'm here. And this is still the expectation.' Remember: Kids need boundaries for the same reason they need bedtime routines and seat belts — they help them feel safe. But boundaries without connection feel cold. And connection without boundaries feels chaotic. Our kids don't need perfection. They need to know: My parent sees me, hears me and isn't afraid to lead the way — even when it's hard.
New York Post
5 days ago
- Entertainment
- New York Post
‘90s kid summer' trend ditches tech in favor of retro fun — here's why it won't work for all parents
Millennial parents are throwing it back. After the recent resurgence of iconic nineties trends jelly shoes, chunky highlights and flip phones, the ''90s kid summer' parenting trend reeks of turn-of-the-century nostalgia. Yet, proponents behind it say they're not just harking back to their childhoods — they're sick of their screen-addicted kids. 4 Parents are fed up with iPads, gaming systems, and computers occupying all of their children's attention. sushytska – Advertisement Just before summer vacations across the country began, millennial parents took to TikTok en masse to reminisce on their own school-free months. In the comments of TikTok posts like this video by @_natenorman, nostalgic nineties kids recalled the days spent outside from dawn to dusk, biking alone to community pools, the unsupervised neighborhood playtime, and above all, the lack of communication from parents who simply wanted a few hours of peace and quiet. Advertisement 'My summer memories all involve pools, sports, and exploring the woods. Creeks, birdwatching, riding bikes with the neighborhood kids and my siblings,' read one reply. 'The attic fan on at night is all I remember of indoors.' Many parents online claim that they're giving their kids a '90s summer to promote positive development like independence and creativity. And according to experts, they're not wrong to do so. The American Psychological Association says that unstructured play can help children progress in important body and muscle growth, socializing, decision-making skills, conflict management, and empathy, among other areas. However, a '90s summer is simply not feasible for some, and growing pressure from online parenting communities is leading to undue stress and guilt. Advertisement Kristin Gallant, a parenting expert who posts child-rearing and mom life content on Instagram as @biglittlefeelings, was among the anxious millennials. 'If it works for your family, great,' says Gallant in the video. 'Working parents, we're stressed out when we see this. We need to send our kids to camp or have some child care' so the unplanned routine doesn't work quite the same, she explained. She also mentioned how neurodiverse kids and sensitive children who thrive on structure likely also wouldn't benefit from this trend. 'If you can't give your kids a '90s summer, don't let it make you feel like s–t,' she concluded. Advertisement 4 'The TV stations literally had to remind parents that it was now dark outside and they should probably look into where their kids were,' remembered one TikTok commenter. pressmaster – Claire Vallotton, professor of human development and family studies at Michigan State University, agrees that making a sudden shift towards the '90s summer lifestyle is not beneficial to kids, and explains that the trend is likely a response to the tendency that many modern parents have towards both maximizing their child's development by overscheduling them with classes, camps and other programs, as well as allowing young kids to have way too much screen time. In an interview with USA Today, Vallotton said that most kids of today 'are overscheduled and using technology too much,' and a majority of them are not spending time outdoors alone like their millennial parents. The urge to overcorrect with the '90s summer trend makes 'a lot of sense, but trying to solve it all in one summer isn't going to work for either the children or parents,' she explained. 'You can't just have this over-scheduled, technology-saturated life for nine months of the year and then switch into this absolute freedom,' Vallotton elaborated. 'We haven't prepared our children for that… It's going to make the children potentially more anxious.' 4 'Kid Rotting' is the opposite parenting trend, which sees parents simply accepting the modern reality of screen-addicted kids. Stanisic Vladimir – Some parents online have commiserated with Gallant for numerous reasons. Some complain of 'velco children' — kids who stick to their parents' sides non-stop — while others bemoan the dangers and rising childcare costs plaguing the modern world. 'Give me a 90s economy and 90s real estate prices and I'll see what I can do,' replied a mom, agreeing with Gallant. 'I wish ['90s summer] was an option now for our kids. Karens everywhere crying about the noise of a basketball, no woods to go venture in or build treehouses, and people are always driving distracted, so riding bikes down the road can't happen,' said one commenter under @_natenorman's TikTok, explicating the impossibility of recreating those summers of the past. Advertisement 4 Compared to the '90s, children today are much more familiar with all sorts of tech — phones, computers, and gaming consoles included. Seventyfour – Meanwhile, other parents offered their own interpretations of the sudden online push for the resurgence of a '90s summer. 'What I take from the 90s summer is letting go of the pressure to be over-scheduled, do every single expensive camp, and be IG perfect,' replied one user under Gallant's video. Advertisement 'I think the takeaway is that it's okay to let your kid have a solid chunk of independent play where you as the parent are not playing camp Director,' explained another. 'It's not unsupervised but unstructured. Not all day but part of it. For me, after lunch, I might push the kids outside and go read on the porch while they figure it out. They have things to do provided, but it's dealer's choice.' Instead of making an instantaneous transition like millennial parents across the Internet seem to imply, Vallotton advised that parents slowly reduce technology access for kids and encourage children to play together outdoors while supervising from afar.
Yahoo
6 days ago
- Lifestyle
- Yahoo
Millennial parents want to give their children a '90s kid summer. What does that mean?
The '90s nostalgia that brought back cargo pants and flip phones is also fueling a parenting trend among Millennials called '90s kid summers. The idea is to recreate the core childhood memories of a typical summer in the 1990s, such as running through sprinklers, drinking from the garden hose and chasing after the ice cream truck. 'That's where you just open up the backyard, give them a garden house, let them go to town,' Kristin Gallant, the parenting expert behind Big Little Feelings, said in an Instagram video. 'Independent play, creativity, ride bikes and do that from sunrise until sunset.' Research shows that unstructured playtime helps build healthy bodies, increases energy and reduces tension and anxiety, according to the American Psychological Association. But it's not always possible to give children the perfect '90s summer in 2025, and parents shouldn't stress out about it, said Claire Vallotton, professor of human development and family studies at Michigan State University. The desire for a '90s kid summer is likely a reaction to a parenting culture that tries to overschedule kids with summer activities to optimize child development, she said. 'They are overscheduled and using technology too much," she said, and not spending time in nature like many of their parents did. 'It's a reaction that makes a lot of sense but trying to solve it all in one summer isn't going to work for either the children or parents.' Many parents who work full-time depend on structured childcare and can't be available for their children throughout the summer to bandage a scraped knee, she said. It's also important to find peers for children to play with outside and many families don't live in safe neighborhoods where other children live nearby. An Instagram user made a similar point in a comment on Gallant's video. 'Give me a '90s economy and '90s real estate prices and I'll see what I can do,' the user said. 'Living room' vs. 'bedroom kids: What it says about your family dynamic But even if there was a parent at home and the family lived in a safe and social neighborhood, Vallotton said the '90s kid summer may not make sense. If children aren't given unstructured freedom throughout the school year, they won't know what to do with it during the summer. 'You can't just have this over-scheduled, technology-saturated life for nine months of the year and then switch into this absolute freedom,' she said. 'We haven't prepared our children for that… It's going to make the children potentially more anxious.' Although a complete switch is ill-advised, Vallotton said there are ways for parents to ease their children into a '90s kid summer by slowly limiting screen time, promoting more outdoor activities and fostering opportunities for peer play with minimal supervision. In case you missed: Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell are embracing free-range parenting. What is that? But that may not work for every family and parents shouldn't feel pressured by a social media trend, she said. 'Social media is a tool for social comparison and self-judgment,' Vallotton said. 'I would challenge parents to take a '90s summer for themselves and pause social media use.' Adrianna Rodriguez can be reached at adrodriguez@ This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Parents want to bring back the '90s kid summer. What does that mean?
USA Today
6 days ago
- Lifestyle
- USA Today
Millennial parents want to give their children a '90s kid summer. What does that mean?
The '90s nostalgia that brought back cargo pants and flip phones is also fueling a parenting trend among Millennials called '90s kid summers. The idea is to recreate the core childhood memories of a typical summer in the 1990s, such as running through sprinklers, drinking from the garden hose and chasing after the ice cream truck. 'That's where you just open up the backyard, give them a garden house, let them go to town,' Kristin Gallant, the parenting expert behind Big Little Feelings, said in an Instagram video. 'Independent play, creativity, ride bikes and do that from sunrise until sunset.' Research shows that unstructured playtime helps build healthy bodies, increases energy and reduces tension and anxiety, according to the American Psychological Association. But it's not always possible to give children the perfect '90s summer in 2025, and parents shouldn't stress out about it, said Claire Vallotton, professor of human development and family studies at Michigan State University. The desire for a '90s kid summer is likely a reaction to a parenting culture that tries to overschedule kids with summer activities to optimize child development, she said. 'They are overscheduled and using technology too much," she said, and not spending time in nature like many of their parents did. 'It's a reaction that makes a lot of sense but trying to solve it all in one summer isn't going to work for either the children or parents.' Many parents who work full-time depend on structured childcare and can't be available for their children throughout the summer to bandage a scraped knee, she said. It's also important to find peers for children to play with outside and many families don't live in safe neighborhoods where other children live nearby. An Instagram user made a similar point in a comment on Gallant's video. 'Give me a '90s economy and '90s real estate prices and I'll see what I can do,' the user said. 'Living room' vs. 'bedroom kids: What it says about your family dynamic But even if there was a parent at home and the family lived in a safe and social neighborhood, Vallotton said the '90s kid summer may not make sense. If children aren't given unstructured freedom throughout the school year, they won't know what to do with it during the summer. 'You can't just have this over-scheduled, technology-saturated life for nine months of the year and then switch into this absolute freedom,' she said. 'We haven't prepared our children for that… It's going to make the children potentially more anxious.' Although a complete switch is ill-advised, Vallotton said there are ways for parents to ease their children into a '90s kid summer by slowly limiting screen time, promoting more outdoor activities and fostering opportunities for peer play with minimal supervision. In case you missed: Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell are embracing free-range parenting. What is that? But that may not work for every family and parents shouldn't feel pressured by a social media trend, she said. 'Social media is a tool for social comparison and self-judgment,' Vallotton said. 'I would challenge parents to take a '90s summer for themselves and pause social media use.' Adrianna Rodriguez can be reached at adrodriguez@
Yahoo
25-06-2025
- General
- Yahoo
Telling your kid a white lie feels harmless, but it isn't. What I do instead.
'We're out of cookies.' 'The remote is broken — guess we can't watch TV.' 'Whoops, the pool is closed today.' Many parents end up telling the occasional white lie to their kid — often out of exhaustion or to avoid the inevitable meltdown or power struggle that comes after saying no. But while these minor fibs seem harmless in the moment, they can actually undermine a child's trust in themselves and you. In the fifth episode of their podcast After Bedtime With Big Little Feelings, Big Little Feelings founders Deena Margolin, a child therapist specializing in interpersonal neurobiology, and Kristin Gallant, a parenting coach with a background in maternal and child education, chat about some of the white lies they've told their own kids — and the surprising repercussions that followed. For Yahoo's column After After Bedtime, Margolin shares three steps parents can take to help set boundaries without resorting to fudging the truth. And if your kid should still catch you in a small fib? Here's what to do. Let's be real: We've all done it. 'The park is closed.' 'The tablet is broken.' 'This is spicy, you won't like it.' (Spoiler alert: It's cake, they'd absolutely love it.) 'The ice cream truck only plays music when it's out of ice cream.' These tiny fibs usually come from one place: parental survival. You're exhausted. You've repeated yourself 400 times. You just need to make it through the next five minutes without a meltdown. And in those moments, a white lie feels like the easiest way to get there. But here's the thing: Truth builds trust. Research shows that kids, even as young as age 3, can detect inconsistencies between what adults say and what they do. And kids who are frequently lied to? They're more likely to lie to themselves and less likely to trust their caregivers over time. Now does that mean you've ruined your child because you fibbed about the park being closed? Absolutely not. The goal isn't perfection — it's awareness, repair and modeling honesty in age-appropriate ways. So how do we handle these gray areas? Here are some suggestions. Lying usually feels like the fastest way out of a hard moment. 'The tablet's broken' feels easier than saying, 'No more shows' — and then dealing with the meltdown that follows. But here's the thing: Shortcuts don't build skills. Boundaries do. Instead of reaching for a lie, you can try holding the limit honestly: 'We're done with the tablet for today. I know that's hard to hear. It's OK to feel upset.' You're still saying no, but you're doing it in a way that makes space for the big feelings that come with it. That's not weakness — that's regulation. That's leadership. Every time you choose truth plus a calm boundary, you're teaching your child, 'I can be told the truth.' 'I can feel big feelings and move through them.' 'My parent is safe, steady and honest, even when it's hard.' If your child calls you out for a little white lie that slipped out (and they will), be honest: 'You're right. I said the iPad was broken. That's not true; I made a mistake. IPad time is done today, and we will have more tomorrow.' This is where the magic happens, because now you're modeling accountability and emotional safety (instead of gaslighting them). You don't have to explain the entire truth to a 4-year-old. You just have to stay grounded in it. Try: 'We don't have time to go to the park today, but I will find a time for us to go this week.' 'TV time is done today. We will have more soon.' 'I don't want to share right now. Let's find something you can enjoy too.' No lies. Just limits — with love. So the takeaway? You're not a bad parent if you've lied to your kid. You're human. But every moment is a chance to build, or rebuild, trust. Because while there's no gold star for 'most honest parent of the year,' there is a deep, lasting connection when your child knows: I can trust what my parent says. I can believe in their words. They see me, they respect me, and they tell me the truth, even when it's hard. And that's the kind of honesty that changes everything.
