Latest news with #LONELYHEARTS
Winnipeg Free Press
20-07-2025
- General
- Winnipeg Free Press
It's time depraved dad respected all women
Opinion DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I have what my mother calls a 'meet-and-mate' personality, because I have a high sex drive. I inherited it from my dad. It was only luck that he met my strong mother, who at age 31 dragged him to the altar a month after meeting him, and nailed him down to a commitment. And he loved her and made it, oddly enough! He's been a pretty decent husband, although he comments too loosely about sexy women who walk by, but only when Mom isn't around. We know he loves and respects my mom, and he is definitely afraid of her terrifying wrath! That's a good thing. My brother and I are in our 30s, and when dad's gawking at a woman and looking like he's going to say something stupid, we generally say something like, 'Put a lid on it!' But now the old man's gotten me into trouble. I just introduced my beautiful and sexy new girlfriend to my family, and Dad made a sexual comment, because my mom wasn't around. My girlfriend said, 'Shut up, dirty old man!' and drove straight home. Now she's not talking to me. What can I do to get her back? She's the one, I just know it. I also know my father is never going to change. My new girlfriend reminds me a lot of my amazing mother, because she's strong enough for this crazy family. Please help me get her back. — She's the One, Selkirk Dear She's the One: Maybe this strong woman won't want to 'handle' the behaviour of a rude father-in-law, when she could find a different family to marry into. That's what you have to consider before you chase after her. If anybody can help you with that problem, your mother can, because she has Dad's rudeness under sufficient control, at least with her. Also, here's a new project you and your brother should take on. You two need to educate your father as to what he's allowed to say and what crosses the line with any woman you have with you, at any time. Let him know he is not with his 'buddies,' and you won't allow him to mess up your love lives in any way, ever again. He abides by your mother's rules (at least in her presence), and now he has to respect the rules of his grownup sons, or he will never meet their women. He wouldn't want that terrible penalty! Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I totally trusted my new girlfriend — quite the brainiac and computer expert — when she offered to help me with some important financial matters online. I stupidly gave her all my passwords. Yes, to my money and everything. Why? I really thought we were heading for the big time, namely marriage. But then I caught her gossiping on the phone at my house while she thought I was still out. She was talking to a banker friend of hers. She has a voice that carries, and I was coming in the house and I heard every word. It was all about my 'private' financial situation. I was seriously upset and turned off, so I quickly changed all my key passwords. I haven't said anything to her yet, and she hasn't mentioned anything. I'm deeply upset and want to break up and totally get my privacy back, as my girlfriend knows way too much that was not her business. How do I safely proceed? My mind and emotions are jumbled. How about the timing for a breakup? That's where I'm definitely headed now, and I'm in a hurry! — Embarrassed and Betrayed, Winnipeg Dear Betrayed: People naturally feel vulnerable when their private info is being shared and gossiped about, and one's financial information is especially private. Is this particular situation dangerous to you? Maybe or maybe not. Some people are just snoops and don't intend to do anything bad with the intimate information they've acquired. However, you don't know what her intentions were — and she certainly didn't ask your permission — so major trust has already been lost. Once you double-check you have everything locked-down and private again, don't open fire, although it might be tempting. Quietly and politely break up with this woman, telling her you have had a change of heart. She'll want to know why. You don't owe her anything, other than the basic details of what you caught her doing, and the fact you lost the kind of trust you need to have in a serious relationship. Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@ or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6. Maureen ScurfieldAdvice columnist Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column. Read full biography Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber. Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.
Winnipeg Free Press
14-07-2025
- General
- Winnipeg Free Press
‘Coincidences' may be down to technical access
Opinion DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I can't help but wonder if 'Stalked by Ex-Husband' (the woman whose ex-husband shows up at all her events with women on his arm) has thought about changing any shared Apple or Android accounts on her devices — ones she may have shared with him when they were married. He may still have some sort of access to her location if they used to share that info with each other. He may also still have access to her messages (emails and texts) if she hasn't made any password changes. — Concerned For Her, Winnipeg Dear Concerned For Her: Thanks for caring, and for your helpful suggestions to tighten up this woman's technical security. It's certainly suspicious this ex-husband always seems to know where she's going ahead of time, and turns up with a date hanging off him. Your suggestions could be helpful to other readers too, and they may need to make some changes ASAP as well. Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I moved into a high-rise tower in the middle of the city with a fantastic view and a pool. I'm way up in the sky this summer — exactly where I wanted to be after a painful divorce on the ground in a tight-knit community of couples. I just couldn't live there anymore. Now, some other woman from that community lives in my marital home with my husband. It's embarrassing and it hurts. That beautiful area revolves around a tennis club and beautiful golf course in the summer. As a couple, everything worked because everything was done by twos. In fact, a few wives I thought were good friends clearly have stroked me off their friend lists, now that I don't have a partner. I just stopped getting invitations for anything. I'd hear about events later I wasn't invited to, and that really hurt. Now, nobody knows my business — and nobody cares either! I'm lonely and don't know what to do with myself to make a new social life. I thought I got what I wanted with the move to the high rise, but now I'm in a building full of people I may never know, with a gorgeous view and pool I enjoy alone. I feel so disconnected. Help! — Up in the Air, downtown Winnipeg Dear Up in the Air: Forget about where you live for now. There are many fun and interesting groups or gatherings of people that don't give a darn about your marital status or where you live, and would happily welcome you. Got sunscreen? Festivals need all the help they can get, and there are more than 150 across Manitoba every year looking for new volunteers. Big ones, like the Winnipeg Fringe Theatre Festival coming up, attract rafts of fun people as volunteers, so get in touch and make some fun new friends while you're at it — people who are anything but narrow-minded. You could also consider helping out a charity. Some really need help in the summer, particularly when a portion of their regular volunteers are off at cabins or away on holidays. Call a few that interest you, try them out and stay with the one that resonates. The trick to reconnecting socially is to get 'over-busy' and give many things a really good try. Then stick with a couple you like best — but not just one. Make yourself rich in activities and see where it takes you! Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@ or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6. Maureen ScurfieldAdvice columnist Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column. Read full biography Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber. Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.
Winnipeg Free Press
04-07-2025
- General
- Winnipeg Free Press
A little acceptance can go a long way
Opinion DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I literally ran into my ex-wife when I was backing up my car in a shopping mall parking lot. She got out of her car, took one look at me and laughed. She said, 'I'm not going to report this, and neither should you.' I laughed too. Both our cars were old beaters and we both had better vehicles at home. Then we went for a pizza and now we're dating again. I'm just writing to say some people have a crazy attraction for each other and if they finally learn to enjoy each other's foibles, it's the way to peace. Now, when people remark on us getting back together — while we vote differently, go to different churches, eat different foods and so on — we just laugh and say,'We don't know why we love each other. We're not alike at all and we agree on nothing, but we do enjoy being together.' Now our differences don't matter — they're just interesting. However, we do agree on one thing. Our favourite saying for making peace and leaving disagreement alone is to say in a kind voice, 'let it be' — just like the Beatles song. — Found Way to Peace, Charleswood Dear Found the Way: Dr. Phil McGraw made headway with a great number of couples when he put forth the idea that people don't have to be in harmony in their thoughts and beliefs — and that includes politics and religion. He believes the sooner they realize that, the sooner their love relationships and friendships can succeed. It certainly reduces the frequency of arguments when people can shrug their shoulders and say, 'OK, I don't think the same, but I respect your right to disagree and think for yourself and I still love you as much.' Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm excited right now about a girlfriend of my older sister with whom I had a secret fling with when I was 16 and a virgin. She was hot and I had a muscular young body from weightlifting. She was older and had some real sexual experience, but it didn't go well at all. She never called me back, probably due to my lack of experience and no moves, but now I'm 20 and I have a lot more to offer. However, this woman contacted me last week and said she still dreams about my perfect body at the beach and would like to see me again. She told me she rented a place near Grand Beach this month and asked if I would like to drive up and get together and go back to the dunes there to have some fun together. I'm older and recognize it is an invitation to hook up again, but last time we did that she didn't answer my calls afterwards. Still, I reluctantly told her I would come this time, thinking I could make a better memory for her. But now I'm having second thoughts and wondering if I should ask her why she never talked to me after the first time. I didn't dare ask her then. — Feeling Nervous, Selkirk Dear Nervous: This woman does seem somewhat predatory, so don't let her use you again. This recent communication was a bold invitation to go on a sex date to improve her memory of how it ended. She no doubt remembers your perfect 16-year-old body and thinks you might have more experience now to add to the visuals. What a user. Don't give her the chance to do this to you again. She's not worthy of a second try. Save your erotic experiences to share with somebody who cares about you and deserves to be with you intimately and in every other way. Please send questions to lovecoach@ or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6. Maureen ScurfieldAdvice columnist Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column. Read full biography Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber. Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.
Winnipeg Free Press
29-06-2025
- Winnipeg Free Press
A little perspective can be real game-changer
Opinion DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I got dumped on my head and instead of grieving the usual way, I accepted an invitation to go to Mexico — my favourite holiday place — to stay with some Canadian ex-pat friends, who live and work there. It was a totally different world just five hours away by plane, and it gave me a quick jolt — a new perspective on things. The female friends there made a big fuss over me, and gave me compliments. One of them even gave me a new haircut and I looked cool for the first time in a few years. Their guys made me laugh again. I felt important when they proudly introduced me to their Mexican female friends. I suspect the ladies were told to fuss over me. They sure did! I came home three weeks later, feeling like a new man. My ex — who I still have to work with occasionally — didn't look so hot to me anymore. I knew for sure I could meet other people and do better than her. A lot of pain from the breakup had to do with my thinking there were no alternatives, and that I had somehow lost my one big chance. I want to recommend to your readers getting out of town and easing breakup pain with good friends in a different locale. — Quickest Recovery Ever, North River Heights Dear Quickest: You discovered a great method to quickly mend your bruised ego and sore heart! Luckily you had an alternative group of good friends. When you needed to do U-turn in life, you were able to get the heck out of Dodge and recover your self-confidence. But people need the money to fly and the friends to receive them and look after them. Some people don't have that much extra cash. If they're stuck at home, there are also some less-expensive ego-boosting alternatives. Although it may seem superficial, a new haircut and cool clothes can help you stop looking and feeling so defeated. The boost in confidence shows in your face and demeanour. The second smart re-do may be personal counselling to speed up the healing process. Once people correct patterns that don't work, their personal lives change for the better, and often quite quickly. Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My first love is moving back to Winnipeg for a great summer job, and maybe longer. She just had the nerve to email me and ask if we could be friends again, because she's lost touch with her old pals. Then she said some flirty stuff, like she might even be interested in me now that I've 'grown up.' What a witch! Miss L., she broke my heart, and totally ruined me for a year after she left. She didn't answer my messages and phone calls — just hung me out to dry. How could she think this 'ask' was OK? Why would I help her? I hardly lived through it the first time she hurt me. What should I say to her? — Can't Believe She Asked, St. James Dear Can't Believe: Tell her you're not a stop-gap measure and you're not available to have either a friendship or a fling. Straight-up tell her she needs to look elsewhere for someone to use while she's finding her social bearings back in Manitoba. Why would you open your list of friends to this ex and possibly open your heart? She rejected you once and she hasn't wanted to be back in your life before this. Just say no. Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I swear I was a female flyer of some kind in another life. I am in love with all flight activities — ultra-gliders, small and big planes — and finally have the dollars saved to get myself involved taking lessons this summer. My partner — also a woman — doesn't want me to risk my life 'and possibly die' and is kicking up a big fuss, so I won't lay down my money for lessons. Last night she cried for an hour. Yeesh! I finally told her last night not to ask me to a make the choice between her and flying. What do you think when your partner wants you to deny a part of you that's so important? Please help. — Time to Spread My Wings, Headingley Dear Wings: You have already decided what you need to do, and all that remains is being true to yourself. If you deny your need to fly, you will hold this partner of yours responsible. That kind of deep resentment gets in the way of the true expression of love. If you get involved in the flying world this summer, you will meet all kinds of people who share your passion. They'd make better mates for you in the long run, as they'd understand your feelings and cheer you on. It's important not to stifle yourself in this life! Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@ or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6. Maureen ScurfieldAdvice columnist Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column. Read full biography Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber. Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.
Winnipeg Free Press
11-06-2025
- Lifestyle
- Winnipeg Free Press
A little compromise could go swimmingly
Opinion DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: It's June and my cute-but-chubby wife doesn't want to go to any beaches. She was cheated on way back when by a weightlifter guy and blamed it on her imperfect body. I'm betting it was really the fault of her relentless jealousy. I knew she was a jealous woman before we got married, but four years later, I'm so tired of her body-weight hangup that I can't stand it. We haven't been to the beach together in two years. I want her to expose her beautiful round shape to people at the beach — not that they would care. In fact, I think we're a good-looking couple. She's in her 30s and a very sexy woman with long black hair and green eyes. I'm tall and skinny, and I don't want another skeleton like myself to play with in bed. Yet she still thinks I may have roving eyes for skinnier women. I've never wanted that. Today my wife said she would never be into sunbathing on the beach again. Do I really need to scrape up the money to install a pool for us for two or three short months a year because of her weight hangup? I think I just need the water and swimming, and I'm tired of our endless holiday discussion being all about her and her body issues. How can we solve this, and fast? — Annoyed Husband, North Kildonan Dear Annoyed: Why not compromise with an above-ground pool — not big enough to break the bank, but big enough to have fun swimming with friends and family, and also for the two of you to play together in privacy. When it comes to your wife's 'hangups,' have you openly expressed to her how much you like her 'beautiful round' physique? A few compliments — especially when they're honest — can go a long way to boosting someone's self-esteem. When it comes to a backyard plan, your wife might appreciate a funky little change room right by the pool, so she and other shy girlfriends can get into the pool without having to walk much of a distance feeling overly exposed. An above-ground pool may not be the beach proper, but it's certainly way more fun than stubbornly doing nothing. Dear Miss Lonelyhearts; I can't get that song My Boyfriend's Back out of my head because it just happened. My Grade 11 boyfriend came back for our recent high school reunion with no wife anymore. I was there and I'm single again myself. We both felt shy and had lots to drink, but we also got to dance together like old times. He even smelled the same — like beer and Old Port cigars. He phoned me today, and my heart roared. But am I just asking for trouble? — Boyfriend's Back, southwestern Manitoba Dear Boyfriend's Back: The real trouble happens when single-again people lose their derring-do and won't even take a chance on dating old friends or new love interests. So why not avoid any future regret for not acting and go for at least one date with this old boyfriend? If it doesn't work out past a single date or maybe two, you will still have had an enjoyable time. Most people simply don't get enough fun in their grownup working lives, and it's time people try to remedy that by taking some reasonable chances in their social lives. It can be great for both emotional and physical health, and you'll avoid the regret of not even having had the courage to give it a shot. Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@ or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6. Maureen ScurfieldAdvice columnist Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column. Read full biography Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber. Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.
