Latest news with #Neo-Confucianism
Korea Herald
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- Korea Herald
'Sokgunghap': How early should sex factor into finding a partner?
In a society steeped in Confucian values, having sex before becoming a couple as a test of compatibility is emerging as part of new dating culture in South Korea For a long time in South Korea, sexual intimacy was a matter reserved for after marriage, with a strong emphasis on commitment. But things are changing. Many young people place a greater emphasis on sexual compatibility as an essential component of romance, and sometimes sexual activity even precedes the start of a romantic relationship. Many traditional views on sex in Korean society stem from Neo-Confucianism, which established distinct standards of sexual morality based on gender and regarded sex solely as a means of procreation. However, beginning in the late 1990s, the feminist movement and the push for sexual liberation here led to a gradual decline in the influence of these beliefs, resulting in more relaxed attitudes towards premarital sex, according to a Statista report. A term that encapsulates this shift is "sokgunghap." "Gunghap" refers to traditional measures of marital compatibility predicted by fortunetellers based on two individuals' birth details, including the year, month, date and time. "Sokgunghap" puts an intimate twist on this traditional outlook, referring to sexual compatibility — whether partners have shared or similar sexual needs, including preferences, turn-ons and desired frequency. Once a topic reserved for married couples, sokgunghap has now even become a crucial factor for young Koreans in deciding whether to start dating. This trend was highlighted two years ago by a candid comment from a female Korean singer who emphasized sokgunghap as her top ideal partner condition. Jamie, a singer born in 1997, appeared on the YouTube channel "Ssulply," hosted by married singer Lee Seok-hoon, born in 1984. When asked what she considered most important in a relationship, Jamie confidently stated, "I think sexual compatibility is the most important thing." Despite Lee's surprise and his repeated questioning, Jamie reaffirmed, "Sokgunghap. It's important, isn't it?" Lee, representing the older generation and unfamiliar with such open discussions, could only sip his coffee uncomfortably. This moment highlighted a generation gap, with the younger generation openly prioritizing sex, while the older generation finds such openness unsettling. Pre-relationship sex According to a survey conducted by Statista in December 2022, around 57.6 percent of South Koreans now consider premarital sex acceptable, showing a steady increase over the years from just 20.2 percent in 1996. Additionally, a survey conducted by Statista in 2023 found that 57.6 percent of men and 40.8 percent of women aged 25 to 39 said they would start having sex within the first month of a relationship, although the average was 5.1 months, indicating much longer periods for some. This survey included 1,000 singles aged 25 to 39 and revealed that, on average, they believed 5.1 months was an appropriate time to begin engaging in sexual activities after entering a relationship. The emergence of the term "seon-seg-hu-sa," meaning "sex before dating," further illustrates this evolving trend in modern relationships. Kim, a 32-year-old finance professional living in Seoul, shared her personal experience with this trend. "I have initiated all my relationships after first becoming physically intimate with my partners," she explained. "Engaging physically helps foster quick intimacy, which seems to deepen the relationship more effectively. I notice that many people around me also engage in 'seon-seg-hu-sa,' suggesting it's becoming quite the norm." As a result, sex has come to be regarded as one of the most crucial aspects of modern romantic relationships. Dr. Hong Sung-woo, a urologist in Korea and a YouTuber, previously commented on this phenomenon. When asked how important sex is in contemporary romantic relationships, he remarked, "In my view, it accounts for almost 100 percent." One-night stand Among the growing number of sokgunghap adherents trend is Lee, a writer in her 30s. 'I prefer to sleep with a guy to see if they could be a perfect match in bed before finally deciding on whether the relationship will progress further or not,' she said. Lee attributes this approach to her past experiences. "I was brought up with the belief that women should be chaste and modest, and I internalized the longstanding social notion — rooted in Korea's Confucian values — that delaying sex would lead to healthier, longer-lasting relationships," she explained. "However, about 10 years ago, after entering a relationship and waiting several months to have intercourse for the first time, I realized that my then-boyfriend and I were not sexually compatible." This approach, she noted, sometimes led to one-night stands. "After that experience, I decided to always have sex first and then decide if I wanted to continue dating. As a result, if I wasn't satisfied in bed, it wouldn't lead to a relationship, and I found myself frequently engaging in one-night stands." Lee is not alone. A survey conducted in 2018 by the matchmaking company Baroyeon revealed that 47.1 percent of 2,113 unmarried men and women had experienced a one-night stand. Of those individuals, 36.1 percent reported meeting the same partner again. These encounters primarily took place in spontaneous settings such as bars and clubs. A separate survey in 2018 by the South Korean local media outlet Edaily explored the thoughts and experiences of 380 individuals in their 20s and 30s related to sex. The survey found that 56.7 percent of one-night stands started in places like bars and clubs, where immediate connections are easy to forge. This was followed by meetings through arranged settings, such as blind dates and social gatherings at 16.7 percent, and online options, including apps, at 10 percent. When asked why they engaged in one-night stands, 58.9 percent of respondents cited the absence of a partner and the desire to enjoy adult freedoms. "Young people today tend to avoid engaging in relationships that require a lot of time and effort. Due to challenges such as employment, workplace demands, and economic issues, they themselves do not feel at ease, thus hesitating to form deep connections," said Kwak Keum-joo, a professor of psychology at Seoul National University, offering insights into these statistics. Although one-night stands have become more prevalent, not everyone is pleased with this trend. Hwang, a 33-year-old office worker who recently married, expressed his concerns, stating, "Sex is an intimate act that involves sharing one's vulnerabilities and is a token of love. Doing it randomly is concerning and far from ideal. There are also worries about sexually transmitted diseases. In the past, I discovered my ex-girlfriend had a one-night stand before we dated, and it was a deal-breaker for me." Hwang is not alone in his views. The surfing hotspot of Yangyang in Gangwon Province has acquired the nickname "one-night stand city" in recent years. The area became popular among young surfing enthusiasts seeking fun during the COVID-19 pandemic, but this came with a nightlife culture that included spontaneous meetups. But as its reputation for hookups grew, tourist numbers fell. According to KT's big data analysis, tourist visits — including international and domestic visitors — to Yangyang fell nearly 6 percent last year. Local media speculates that the perception of Yangyang as a hub for youth nightlife and casual encounters, especially one-night stands, may have fueled the decline; however, factors such as changing trends and an increase in overseas travel could also have contributed. This reputation led to negative reputations circulating online forums, with posts titled "Why You Shouldn't Visit Yangyang," and "Avoid Yangyang Post-Visit" gaining traction. The stigma has become so pronounced that travelers now hesitate to share photos from Yangyang on social media, according to local reports. While the trend is moving toward greater sexual liberation, the backlash that still surrounds things like one-night stands shows that it has yet to become a dominant social norm. Lee Myung-gil, who has worked for roughly 20 years as a professional dating coach and previously as a manager at the local matchmaking firm Duo, commented: "Over the past few decades, women in our country have become more confident, both sexually and economically. There's no denying that they are cooler and more assertive now. The number of people engaging in 'pre-relational sex' is on the rise; however, it is still not mainstream, especially among women." "Conceptually, there has been significant liberalization, but practical safety concerns still prevent full openness. Recently, due to growing concerns about crimes related to drugs and murder, women are becoming more cautious about engaging in one-night stands with strangers," Lee added. Lee advises women to be extra cautious about one-night stands: "When meeting someone through bars or apps for a one-night stand, the worst-case scenarios differ by gender. Men might risk losing some money, whereas women could be exposed to severe dangers, including murder. Therefore, caution is always necessary.'
Korea Herald
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- Korea Herald
'Sokgunghap': Is it wrong to prioritize sex in romantic relationships?
In a society steeped in Confucian values, having sex before becoming a couple as a test of compatibility is emerging as part of new dating culture in South Korea For a long time in South Korea, sexual intimacy was a matter reserved for after marriage, with a strong emphasis on commitment. But things are changing. Many young people place a greater emphasis on sexual compatibility as an essential component of romance, and sometimes sexual activity even precedes the start of a romantic relationship. Many traditional views on sex in Korean society stem from Neo-Confucianism, which established distinct standards of sexual morality based on gender and regarded sex solely as a means of procreation. However, beginning in the late 1990s, the feminist movement and the push for sexual liberation here led to a gradual decline in the influence of these beliefs, resulting in more relaxed attitudes towards premarital sex, according to a Statista report. A term that encapsulates this shift is "sokgunghap." "Gunghap" refers to traditional measures of marital compatibility predicted by fortunetellers based on two individuals' birth details, including the year, month, date and time. "Sokgunghap" puts an intimate twist on this traditional outlook, referring to sexual compatibility — whether partners have shared or similar sexual needs, including preferences, turn-ons and desired frequency. Once a topic reserved for married couples, sokgunghap has now even become a crucial factor for young Koreans in deciding whether to start dating. This trend was highlighted two years ago by a candid comment from a female Korean singer who emphasized sokgunghap as her top ideal partner condition. Jamie, a singer born in 1997, appeared on the YouTube channel "Ssulply," hosted by married singer Lee Seok-hoon, born in 1984. When asked what she considered most important in a relationship, Jamie confidently stated, "I think sexual compatibility is the most important thing." Despite Lee's surprise and his repeated questioning, Jamie reaffirmed, "Sokgunghap. It's important, isn't it?" Lee, representing the older generation and unfamiliar with such open discussions, could only sip his coffee uncomfortably. This moment highlighted a generation gap, with the younger generation openly prioritizing sex, while the older generation finds such openness unsettling. Pre-relationship sex According to a survey conducted by Statista in December 2022, around 57.6 percent of South Koreans now consider premarital sex acceptable, showing a steady increase over the years from just 20.2 percent in 1996. Additionally, a survey conducted by Statista in 2023 found that 57.6 percent of men and 40.8 percent of women aged 25 to 39 said they would start having sex within the first month of a relationship, although the average was 5.1 months, indicating much longer periods for some. This survey included 1,000 singles aged 25 to 39 and revealed that, on average, they believed 5.1 months was an appropriate time to begin engaging in sexual activities after entering a relationship. The emergence of the term "seon-seg-hu-sa," meaning "sex before dating," further illustrates this evolving trend in modern relationships. Kim, a 32-year-old finance professional living in Seoul, shared her personal experience with this trend. "I have initiated all my relationships after first becoming physically intimate with my partners," she explained. "Engaging physically helps foster quick intimacy, which seems to deepen the relationship more effectively. I notice that many people around me also engage in 'seon-seg-hu-sa,' suggesting it's becoming quite the norm." As a result, sex has come to be regarded as one of the most crucial aspects of modern romantic relationships. Dr. Hong Sung-woo, a urologist in Korea and a YouTuber, previously commented on this phenomenon. When asked how important sex is in contemporary romantic relationships, he remarked, "In my view, it accounts for almost 100 percent." One-night stand Among the growing number of sokgunghap adherents trend is Lee, a writer in her 30s. 'I prefer to sleep with a guy to see if they could be a perfect match in bed before finally deciding on whether the relationship will progress further or not,' she said. Lee attributes this approach to her past experiences. "I was brought up with the belief that women should be chaste and modest, and I internalized the longstanding social notion — rooted in Korea's Confucian values — that delaying sex would lead to healthier, longer-lasting relationships," she explained. "However, about 10 years ago, after entering a relationship and waiting several months to have intercourse for the first time, I realized that my then-boyfriend and I were not sexually compatible." This approach, she noted, sometimes led to one-night stands. "After that experience, I decided to always have sex first and then decide if I wanted to continue dating. As a result, if I wasn't satisfied in bed, it wouldn't lead to a relationship, and I found myself frequently engaging in one-night stands." Lee is not alone. A survey conducted in 2018 by the matchmaking company Baroyeon revealed that 47.1 percent of 2,113 unmarried men and women had experienced a one-night stand. Of those individuals, 36.1 percent reported meeting the same partner again. These encounters primarily took place in spontaneous settings such as bars and clubs. A separate survey in 2018 by the South Korean local media outlet Edaily explored the thoughts and experiences of 380 individuals in their 20s and 30s related to sex. The survey found that 56.7 percent of one-night stands started in places like bars and clubs, where immediate connections are easy to forge. This was followed by meetings through arranged settings, such as blind dates and social gatherings at 16.7 percent, and online options, including apps, at 10 percent. When asked why they engaged in one-night stands, 58.9 percent of respondents cited the absence of a partner and the desire to enjoy adult freedoms. "Young people today tend to avoid engaging in relationships that require a lot of time and effort. Due to challenges such as employment, workplace demands, and economic issues, they themselves do not feel at ease, thus hesitating to form deep connections," said Kwak Keum-joo, a professor of psychology at Seoul National University, offering insights into these statistics. Although one-night stands have become more prevalent, not everyone is pleased with this trend. Hwang, a 33-year-old office worker who recently married, expressed his concerns, stating, "Sex is an intimate act that involves sharing one's vulnerabilities and is a token of love. Doing it randomly is concerning and far from ideal. There are also worries about sexually transmitted diseases. In the past, I discovered my ex-girlfriend had a one-night stand before we dated, and it was a deal-breaker for me." Hwang is not alone in his views. The surfing hotspot of Yangyang in Gangwon Province has acquired the nickname "one-night stand city" in recent years. The area became popular among young surfing enthusiasts seeking fun during the COVID-19 pandemic, but this came with a nightlife culture that included spontaneous meetups. But as its reputation for hookups grew, tourist numbers fell. According to KT's big data analysis, tourist visits — including international and domestic visitors — to Yangyang fell nearly 6 percent last year. Local media speculates that the perception of Yangyang as a hub for youth nightlife and casual encounters, especially one-night stands, may have fueled the decline; however, factors such as changing trends and an increase in overseas travel could also have contributed. This reputation led to negative reputations circulating online forums, with posts titled "Why You Shouldn't Visit Yangyang," and "Avoid Yangyang Post-Visit" gaining traction. The stigma has become so pronounced that travelers now hesitate to share photos from Yangyang on social media, according to local reports. While the trend is moving toward greater sexual liberation, the backlash that still surrounds things like one-night stands shows that it has yet to become a dominant social norm. Lee Myung-gil, who has worked for roughly 20 years as a professional dating coach and previously as a manager at the local matchmaking firm Duo, commented: "Over the past few decades, women in our country have become more confident, both sexually and economically. There's no denying that they are cooler and more assertive now. The number of people engaging in 'pre-relational sex' is on the rise; however, it is still not mainstream, especially among women." "Conceptually, there has been significant liberalization, but practical safety concerns still prevent full openness. Recently, due to growing concerns about crimes related to drugs and murder, women are becoming more cautious about engaging in one-night stands with strangers," Lee added. Lee advises women to be extra cautious about one-night stands: "When meeting someone through bars or apps for a one-night stand, the worst-case scenarios differ by gender. Men might risk losing some money, whereas women could be exposed to severe dangers, including murder. Therefore, caution is always necessary.'
Korea Herald
17-05-2025
- General
- Korea Herald
A day of reflection in city of enlightenment
UNESCO-listed Dosanseowon, village of art stand out in Andong ANDONG, North Gyeongsang Province — Andong was a city of scholars. The southeastern city was home to those studying to further Neo-Confucianism, a school of Chinese thought that had undergirded Korea during its Joseon era from 1392-1910. Dosanseowon, a private Confucian school in the city, testifies to how committed Joseon was to see the philosophy permeate everyday life. The school was established as a tribute to Yi Hwang, a prominent Confucian thinker whose contribution to expanding the thought led Joseon to launch the institution in 1576, six years after his death. The academy complex, which grew out of a small hall Yi built in 1561 to teach Confucianism, comprises separate halls for reading, dining and sleeping. A shrine was added later by his students to pay respects to Yi. 'The entire ground is secluded and serene,' said Kim Myeong-ja, a 66-year-old Seoul resident who stopped by the Confucian academy on her tour of the two Gyeongsang provinces. Trees that surround the premise, punctuated by ponds and flowers, make for a natural setting where thinkers could do what they did best, Kim observed. Pyo Hyun-soo, born and raised in Andong, said he frequents the complex because 'each trip conjures up old memories.' 'I had a lot of school field trips that included stops here,' said Pyo, a retailer in his 40s who said he planned to take his 8-year-old with him on the next visit once the child becomes 'ready to soak in' the view and ambience. 'This is the perk of living close to a UNESCO site, isn't it?' Pyo said of the world body's 2019 decision to name Dosanseowon a World Heritage Site, a designation given to a group of eight Confucian academies around the country. Yekki Village A 10-minute drive away from Dosanseowon is Yekki Village, settled by people whose homes were flooded when the nearby Andong Dam began operations in 1976. Yekki, literally meaning 'artistic talent,' is one of many travel destinations in the Gyeongsang provinces seeing an increasing number of visitors, thanks to cultural spaces dotting the village including galleries, workshops, book cafes and walkways with a view. One of the must-see spots is Seonseongsusang-gil, a 1.2-kilometer floating bridge over Lake Andong that connects to Andong Hoban Nature Forest, a bucolic retreat in verdant woodlands. The bridge is submersible depending on water levels and swings from side to side. That's some unexpected thrill, said Min Hyun-jung, 31, who traveled from Incheon alone for a 'contemplative stroll down the deck' while taking in panoramic views of the lake. 'Other than the fact the bridge is actually a bit narrower than what I saw on Instagram, it's worth a trip. The sweeping views have done it for me,' Min said of her satisfaction with the trip that took almost three hours by car, while taking selfies. Confucian museum For others like Song Soo-jin, a native Andong with two elementary students, a village tour is only complete with a stop at the Korean Studies Institute, a think tank that runs the Confucian Culture Museum, less than a 10-minute walk away from the village. 'It's not just about the philosophy,' Song said of the museum's latest exhibition 'Eohwadongdong.' Running through July, the special exhibition explores how children are viewed and understood with artifacts spanning from 18th century Joseon to today. Books and documents on display are mostly written in Chinese characters, which means children visiting can barely decipher what is shown. But that's all the more reason kids have to see such exhibitions, under parental guidance, according to Song. 'Kids have to burn off energy to get the movement their bodies physically and desperately need,' Song said. 'After that, they need to do the same for their mental faculties. What's better than to keep them asking questions?'
