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RNZ News
02-07-2025
- Entertainment
- RNZ News
The 'fantasy date' trend Chinese women are embracing
Photo: Supplied Twenty-three-year-old Jenny Zhang meets another woman for lunch in the central Auckland suburb of Ponsonby. It ends with both going their separate ways but, in this case, one of the women hasn't revealed a single detail about herself. She is someone else altogether. Zhang is part of an increasing number of Chinese women who go on dates with other heterosexual women in a bid to satisfy their desire for intimacy. However, Zhang doesn't turn up at the agreed location as herself - she appears as a male character from an otome game. Otome games are narrative-based romance video games primarily designed for women, often featuring a female protagonist with male love interests. The genre has grown in popularity in China following the 2017 release of Mr. Love: Queen's Choice , which has since been followed by Light and Night , Tears of Themis and For All Time . Male characters from Mr. Love: Queen's Choice include (from left to right) Kiro, Shaw, Lucien, Gavin and Victor. Photo: Paper Games According to a report by MobTech, China's female gaming market surpassed 390 million monthly active users by February 2020. The market recorded a value of 95.8 billion yuan ($21.9 billion) in 2024, a year-on-year increase of more than 124 percent, according to Gamma Data. A more recent trend is seeing some female fans increasingly taking things a step further, hiring cosplayers to bring their digital love interests to life. This practice, which gaming enthusiasts in China call a "cosplay commission," involves paying a female performer to portray a virtual boyfriend in real-life settings. Cosplay (short for "costume play") is a form of performance art in which people dress up as characters from anime, computer games and other pop culture. A person seeking a cosplay commission is typically referred to as "the client". A cosplayer portrays Zayne from Love and Deep Space on a "fantasy date" in Beijing. Photo: Supplied Zhang says heterosexual women typically take on the role of portraying a female client's boyfriend. Obviously, she says, cosplayers need to have a deep understanding of the otome characters they are portraying and very few men play such games. Some clients also share concerns about safety when dating men, she says. Zhang should know - she's a cosplayer who accepts such commissions herself. According to latest data from the 2023 China Population and Employment Statistical Yearbook, China's single population is expected to surpass 300 million this year, with 73 percent of people over the age of 25 remaining unmarried. "Short-term dating services focused on emotional connection, strictly excluding physical intimacy, have become more visible," says Hee-seung Irene Lee, Korea Foundation lecturer at the University of Auckland. "These services reflect a growing desire for curated emotional experiences, especially among young people navigating economic precarity and shifting social norms around intimacy and relationships." A "fantasy date" in Beijing. Photo: Supplied In servicing a client's needs, a cosplayer who accepts a commission fully embraces the attributes of the character they are representing - acting as a boyfriend by holding hands, carrying bags, and giving flowers or small gifts. A script for the "fantasy date" is co-created by the cosplayer and the client. Before the date, a client fills out a questionnaire with prompts such as "What kind of physical interaction are you comfortable with?" and "What do you hope I'll do for you?" Married in real life, Cindy hires commissioned cosplayers four to five times a month. While romance exists in her everyday life, Cindy says the emotional intensity of a cosplay commission feels like "100 percent love". That feeling, however, comes at a cost. In Beijing, a full-day commission typically costs between 600 and 800 yuan ($138 and $183), with clients responsible for transportation costs and any additional expenses during the date. At first glance, the arrangement appears transactional: A client pays for a cosplayer to provide emotional companionship. Yet the precise nature of the exchange isn't so easily defined, with a new form of intimate relationship taking shape between the pair. A "fantasy date" in Beijing. Photo: Supplied Zhang works hard to create dream-like experiences on her fantasy dates, creating lasting memories for her clients. To fully embody a fictional character, she prepares meticulously for each commission, from crafting costumes and accessories to writing handwritten letters while in character. Zhang completed her first commission in Auckland in March. A woman contacted Zhang via social media app Little Red Book and asked her to cosplay a character named Xavier from Love and Deep Space for her 18th birthday. Released in 2024, Love and Deep Space is China's first three-dimensional otome game. It has quickly become one of the most popular titles in the genre, attracting more than 50 million users worldwide within a year. Male characters from Love and Deep Space include (from left to right) Xavier, Zayne, Rafayel, Sylus and Caleb. Photo: Paper Games Departing from the stereotypical "bossy CEO" trope that often casts women in passive or self-sacrificing roles, Love and Deep Space features characters such as Xavier as equals. As such, the player and Xavier fight side by side as "Hunters" against monsters called "Wanderers", forging bonds through shared challenges and emotional growth. "The ubiquitous presence of visual media today continually reinforces this mode of imagining intimacy," Lee says. "Many young women find that conventional relationships often demand unequal emotional labour or reinforce expectations that limit their autonomy. "What people seek in relationships also appears to be changing, from mutual happiness grounded in care and reciprocity to the gratification of personal fantasy." Jenny Zhang dresses as Xavier from Love and Deep Space. Photo: Supplied Zhang tries to be as open as possible with her clients to create a meaningful connection between two people. A recent commission in China left a deep impression on her. "The client opened up to me," she recalls. "That allowed me to respond like a true partner, listening to her worries about work or school, receiving her emotions and offering comfort. "That feeling of being trusted ... is a crucial part of experiencing intimacy." Zhang is unsure whether the fantasy dating trend will take off in New Zealand. "Local Kiwis are very friendly," she says. "Even if they don't know who I'm cosplaying, they'll still compliment my hair or outfit. "But there just aren't as many date-style venues here compared to China, which has pet cafes, DIY cake shops or Nintendo Switch arcades." Her thoughts are echoed by Yifan, a University of Auckland student who has been a client as well as a commissioned cosplayer. Yifan sees cosplay commissions as a niche hobby in New Zealand, with only a small number of active cosplayers despite growing curiosity. "One challenge is that casual part-time jobs often pay more per hour than a commission does," she says, noting that an average eight-hour cosplay commission typically pays around $200 in New Zealand. Beyond practical constraints in New Zealand, Lee points to deeper cultural forces that help explain why the trend has flourished mainly in East Asian societies, where women face intense pressures around marriage, family roles and traditional ideals of femininity. A "fantasy date" in Shanghai. Photo: Supplied A 2024 survey by the Chinese Academy of Sciences' Institute of Psychology revealed shifting attitudes among young people toward marriage and family. Covering 55,781 university students across 31 provinces, regions and municipalities, the survey found that 52 percent believed marriage was unimportant, while 59 percent believed the same about having children. What's more, female respondents were less willing than males to pursue romantic relationships, marriage or parenthood, with the trend even more pronounced in major cities such as Shanghai and Beijing. "In highly competitive and hierarchical societies, alternative forms of intimacy can offer young women a safer, more manageable space to experience connection without the emotional labour and time investment demanded by conventional relationships," Lee says. While such experiences can feel empowering, Lee warns they also risk flattening intimacy. Lee believes the experiences are more likely to co-exist alongside traditional relationships, offering alternative forms of connection that reflect different emotional and personal needs. "Real relationships involve confronting the unknown depth of another person - something unpredictable, sometimes painful, but ultimately necessary for intimacy that's emotionally transformative and lasting," she says.
CNA
26-04-2025
- Entertainment
- CNA
Why are some women in Singapore embracing digital love and virtual boyfriends in this popular mobile game?
Across Singapore, a curious phenomenon is unfolding: Young women in their twenties and thirties are getting 'hitched' to virtual male characters in a mobile game. In Love And Deepspace, players step into the role of customisable female protagonists, navigating romantic storylines and action-packed combat sequences – all set against a futuristic fantasy landscape. One particularly intriguing feature? The game includes a built-in period tracker, allowing players to log real-life menstruation dates, set reminders, and receive supportive messages from their in-game 'boyfriends' or 'husbands'. Love And Deepspace is a 3D otome game developed by Chinese company Paper Games. Otome games are narrative-driven romance games that typically target a female audience. Since launching in January 2024, the game has amassed around six million monthly active users, including a few thousand in Singapore, according to players CNA Women spoke to. Some of these spend thousands on in-game purchases, while others go as far as renting digital billboards at 313@Somerset or hosting themed celebrations at cafes for their favourite characters. To be clear, the game's five romanceable, not to mention attractive, male leads – Caleb, Rafayel, Sylus, Xavier, and Zayne – aren't AI-powered but rather digital avatars. Their interactions are scripted, with pre-programmed dialogue trees that respond to player choices, creating a sense of immersion within structured storylines. Think of it as a digital age Choose Your Own Adventure-meets-1980s romance novel – with a blend of emotional depth and interactivity rarely seen in mobile games. For player Dawn, who declined to give her full name, these characters evoke the 'book husband' phenomenon in China, where female novelists craft idealised male protagonists who provide their readers with a deeply satisfying romantic and emotional experience. 'We don't see these characters as our romantic interests, but at the same time, they do satisfy some elements of what we want from a romantic relationship,' said the 29-year-old market developer. Said Jeanice Cheong, a clinical psychologist at Heartscape Psychology: 'Parasocial relationships developed in games can provide players with a sense of companionship and social connectedness. It can potentially foster their sense of autonomy as well as boost their sense of adequacy, self-confidence and esteem.' Indeed, while the assumption is that players play for the opportunity to romance the male leads, the reality is that they are drawn to the characters for more than just romance. The characters demonstrate acceptance, understanding and respect for the players, providing them with emotional support and ultimately, a confidence boost that might be lacking in their real-world relationships. This became apparent after CNA Women spoke to nine players between their early twenties and early thirties. All are single, with the exception of Natasha Conceicao, 28, a content creator who is engaged in real life but who "wed" her in-game paramour, Sylus. "He is the character who understands me, anticipates my needs, and is able to take charge and plan things," Natasha explained. 'In real life, I take charge of everything. [In the game], I just need to show up.' That she "married" Sylus before marrying her fiance Erwin Chong, 30, isn't a big deal for the couple. 'Erwin doesn't really care because he knows that it's not real. It's a small joke to us, we don't take it seriously.' View this post on Instagram A post shared by Natasha & Erwin (@onericeplease) Psychologist Ooi Sze Jin, founder of counselling practice A Kind Place, said: 'Parasocial relationships… may lead to unrealistic expectations in real-world relationships, such as anticipating partners to embody the idealised traits of game characters [which] could result in dissatisfaction.' This is something that Chong is all too aware of. 'It's somewhat similar – though maybe a harsh comparison – to pornography, where some people develop unrealistic expectations and start comparing their partners to what they see on screen,' he said. 'If players begin measuring real relationships against their in-game experiences, friction can arise.' IF YOU LIKE IT, PUT A RING ON IT While nothing in the game explicitly refers to marriage in the conventional sense, couple rings automatically become available to players when they hit an affinity level of 100 and above, the highest tier possible. Affinity levels are awarded based on the amount of time spent interacting with the male leads, and rings can be exchanged with more than one lead. Because of the association that rings have with marriage, players tend to refer to their chosen lead(s) as their 'husband(s)'. This was the case with Nikki T (not her real name). The public relations executive ' tied the knot ' in January and celebrated by uploading photos of herself and Sylus in romantic poses to her Instagram. Nikki, who referred to the occasion as a 'milestone memory', acknowledged that it's a fantasy. 'I know the difference between reality and fiction, but there are people who can't differentiate between the two. And that's dangerous,' the 30-year-old said. When the lines are blurred, problems can surface. Said marriage counsellor Theresa Pong, founding director of The Relationship Room: 'Unlike virtual interactions, real-life relationships involve uncertainty and emotional risk. To form deep bonds, one must learn to embrace vulnerability and take chances.' Michelle Goh, owner of dating agency CompleteMe, noted that the game's instant gratification could be a drawback – constantly receiving quick responses and immediate outcomes in-game may lead younger players to develop impatience in real-world dating. 'In reality, building meaningful relationships takes time, effort and resilience. Players may find it challenging to apply the same level of patience in developing real-world romantic connections, where gratification is not always immediate.' "THE CHARACTERS RESPECT WOMEN" For Nikki, the period tracking feature introduced in January was a welcome addition. It mainly logs cycle dates, but she appreciates the thoughtful touch of receiving caring messages from the characters when she's on her period. Jen Lau, a university student in her early twenties, feels that such features help to destigmatise taboos. 'There's a lot of negative connotation about periods, like it's something embarrassing, and maybe we shouldn't talk about it. But the game tells you that it's not something to be embarrassed about.' Lau added: 'The characters respect women. They don't try to make you something that you're not or try to fit society's standards.' Another player, Koriy, who declined to give her full name, agreed. 'In reality, when you interact with different people, they often have certain expectations of you… if someone sees you as a helpful person, for example, you may feel pressured to always be that way. The 29-year-old studio photographer added that in real life, she is herself 80 per cent of the time, and puts up a front the rest of it. 'But in the game, I can be myself. No matter what choices I make, the characters will still love me. They won't judge or tell me I'm wrong – they'll simply reassure me that it's okay,' she said. The power of virtual relationships cannot be underestimated, as they can be a source of emotional support, connection and validation. Said marriage counsellor Pong: 'These relationships can offer comfort and a sense of belonging. They provide a safe space to explore emotions without fear of rejection. Players may feel less lonely and find it easier to express their feelings.' For master's student Hitomi, who declined to give her full name, the game helped her build her self-efficacy and confidence, giving her the courage to interact more with men. 'Before playing, I didn't have that kind of confidence,' she told CNA Women. Now, Hitomi has no qualms approaching the opposite sex to strike up a conversation. Yuka, who declined to give her full name, is a 28-year-old business analyst who manages the Instagram account @deepspacebb_and_me. She was the first to start an interest group for fans to dedicate billboards to their idols. View this post on Instagram A post shared by SG Deepspace Hunter Association (@deepspacehunter_sg) The group pays for billboard ads at 313@Somerset, forking out S$1,300 for a 10-second video that loops and runs for a week during the idols' 'birthdays'. When the video runs, it gives fans lots of photo opportunities. 'The community is the biggest reason why I'm still in the game,' said Yuka, who started playing in January 2024. 'There are a lot of nice fans out there, and all of us are equally invested in this game. I think it's fun to make new friends through this hobby.' Kinship is also what brought members of the SG Deepspace Hunter Association together. The group, which organises birthday parties for the game's characters, has more than 1,000 followers on its Instagram page @deepspacehunter_sg, including Hazu, a civil servant in her mid-twenties, and Yvonne Sng, a human resource executive in her early thirties. Hazu, who declined to give her full name, said these are just like real birthday parties, with catered food, birthday cakes and general merrymaking. But there are also photo booths and guest cosplayers, who dress like the characters and interact with fans. THE JOURNEY TO SELF-WORTH The majority of players said the game hasn't really affected how they feel about affairs of the heart. It has, however, made them more aware of their own self-worth. 'Maybe it's because I'm slightly older and have experienced quite a bit in life, but I don't feel that the game has significantly influenced my real-life views on love, marriage, or relationships,' said Yvonne, who recently broke up with her boyfriend. 'That's not to say it couldn't – but for me, it hasn't. 'That said, do I sometimes experience romantic feelings while playing the game? Yes, occasionally. After all, it's an otome game designed for that purpose. 'But how deeply those feelings take root is another matter. At the end of the day, it's a game I enjoy. I love the features and the experience of being the main character interacting with different male characters, but that's where I draw the line,' she added. Said Hazu: 'Society tends to assume that if we're too involved in online dating games, we won't be able to accept real relationships with men. The game helps us understand our worth in a relationship and shows us how we want to be treated and respected.' But as virtual reality and AI technology advances and games like Love and Deepspace become more realistic and convincing, psychologists caution that reality and fantasy could overlap. 'If the person and the game character have more back-and-forth 'natural conversations', the player feels immersed. They might believe that these relationships are real and struggle with distinguishing between reality and virtual relationships,' says Ooi from The Counselling Place.
Gulf Insider
16-02-2025
- Entertainment
- Gulf Insider
AI Replaces Boyfriends In China, Making Entrepreneur Yao Runhao A Billionaire
When relationship issues are brought up with women, a typical pattern is observed: their boyfriends do not respond quickly to messages, ignore on-time calls, and are impatient to hear about their day-to-day experiences. What if technology fixed these problems? Although this may not be an idea that rings true for most in India, it has caught on big in China, where virtual boyfriends powered by artificial intelligence (AI) have been a surprise hit. The entrepreneur behind this creative solution has even become a billionaire, and his success definitely highlights the increasing need for such unusual partnerships. According to Forbes, Alicia Wang, a 32-year-old editor at a Shanghai-based newspaper, has found the ideal boyfriend: Li Shen, a 27-year-old surgeon who goes by the English nickname Zayne. Tall and handsome, Zayne responds quickly to text messages, answers the phone promptly and listens patiently to Wang recounting the highs and lows of her day. Zayne's only drawback: he doesn't exist outside a silicon chip. The news portal further mentioned that Wang is one of an estimated six million monthly active players of the popular dating simulation game Love and Deepspace. Launched in January 2024 and developed by Shanghai-based Paper Games, it uses AI and voice recognition to make its five male characters-the love interests or boyfriends-flirt with tailored responses to in-game phone calls. The smartphone game, which is available in Chinese, English, Japanese, and Korean, has become so popular that, based on Forbes estimates, Yao Runhao, the 37-year-old creator of Paper Games, now has a wealth of $1.3 billion from his majority stake in the company. Click here to read more…
