Latest news with #ReemRaouda
The Sun
24-06-2025
- General
- The Sun
Five phrases parents should NEVER say if they don't want naughty kids, according to kids psychologist
DO you ever wish your kids weren't as naughty as they are? A child psychologist has revealed there are five phrases parents should avoid saying if they want well-behaved kids. 3 Parenting coach Reem Raouda discovered that interacting with angry toddlers by using threats or telling them consequences isn't helpful. She found five phrases which 'instantly make kids not want to listen' and trigger a fight-or-flight response from them… 1. 'BECAUSE I SAID SO' The first thing you should never say is 'because I said so' as Reem advised it shuts down communication and teaches your kids 'blind obedience.' Instead, you should say 'I know you don't like this decision. I'll explain, and then we're moving forward.' She explained that by using this different approach and explaining your reasoning, your child feels more respected and you are acknowledging their feelings. You are also avoiding debating and negotiating, but reinforcing you are in charge in a 'calm and grounded way.' 2. 'IF YOU DON'T LISTEN, YOU'LL LOSE X' The next thing you should avoid saying is 'If you don't listen, you'll lose [X privilege].' Instead, Reem suggested that you tell them: 'When you're ready to do [X specific behavior], we can do [X desired activity].' She explained that threats can force kids into a defensive state. Reem said that her alternative phrase removes the struggle but still keeps your boundaries firm, and gives kids agency over when they do it. I've tried for ages to potty train my 3-year-old, then he watched ONE Ms Rachel's video and started doing it immediately 3. 'STOP CRYING, YOU'RE FINE.' The child psychologist also suggested you stop saying to your kids: 'Stop crying. You're fine.' She said you should instead say: 'I see you're really upset. Tell me what's happening.' Reem said that you shouldn't dismiss their emotions as it can teach them that their feelings are 'wrong' or 'too much' for some people to handle. She said that 'emotional invalidation leads to disconnection' and when kids feel disconnected they are not likely to behave. The psychologist advised helping your child to feel heard, as they will calm down more quickly and it'll lead to trust being built. 3 4. 'HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?' Instead of telling kids that they've been told multiple times to do something, she advised that you instead reframe it as 'I've asked about this a few times, help me understand what's making this hard for you.' Reem said that when you are frustrated this can lead to kids being 'intentionally difficult.' However, her suggested response invites 'problem-solving instead of blame' and helps to get to the 'root of the issue' more quickly. 3 5. 'YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THAT' Finally, you should avoid saying 'you know better than that' if you can, and should ask them 'Something's getting in the way of your best self right now. Let's talk about it.' She said 'you know better' can lead to a child feeling shamed. However, the second phrase shifts the tone from punishment to partnership. Overall, Reem advised kids are much more likely to want to behave if they feel emotionally safe and respected. She added that any defiance can be seen as a 'call for connection' or emotional support, and parents should respond with empathy and leadership, instead of control. Different parenting techniques Here are some widely recognised methods: Authoritative Parenting This technique will often foster independence, self-discipline, and high self-esteem in children. It is often considered the most effective, this technique is where parents set clear expectations - enforcing rules - whilst also showing warmth and support. Authoritarian Parenting This is opposite to authoritative parenting, as it is where the parent sets high demands but is low on responsiveness. It involves ensuring the child is obedient and often employ punitive measures. While this can lead to disciplined behaviour, it may also result in lower self-esteem and social skills in children. Permissive Parenting Permissive parents tend to be indulgent and lenient, often taking on a role more akin to a friend than an authority figure. They are highly responsive but lack demandingness, granting children a lot of freedom. This method can nurture creativity and a free-spirited nature but may also result in poor self-regulation and difficulties with authority. Uninvolved Parenting Uninvolved or neglectful parenting is marked by low responsiveness and low demands. Parents in this category offer minimal guidance, nurturing, or attention. This often leaves children feeling neglected, which can have significant negative effects on their emotional and social development. Helicopter Parenting Helicopter parents are extremely involved and overprotective, frequently micromanaging their children's lives. Although their goal is to protect and support, this approach can hinder a child's ability to develop independence and problem-solving skills. Free-Range Parenting Free-range parenting encourages children to explore and learn from their surroundings with minimal parental interference. This method promotes independence and resilience but requires a safe and supportive environment to be successful. Attachment Parenting According to Attachment parenting focuses on physical closeness and emotional bonding, often through practices such as co-sleeping and baby-wearing. This approach aims to create secure attachments and emotional well-being, but demands significant time and emotional commitment from parents. Each of these parenting techniques has its own set of strengths and weaknesses. The key is to find a balanced approach that aligns with the family's values and meets the child's needs for a healthy, happy upbringing.
Yahoo
24-06-2025
- General
- Yahoo
Never say these toxic phrases to kids if you want them to actually listen and behave, according to a child psychologist
How someone chooses to parent their kids is a very personal choice — however, sometimes a little help from experts can go a long way, like how to get your little ones to actually listen to you. Child psychologist Reem Raouda revealed the phrases parents should consider adding to their vocabulary to get their kids to behave — and which ones to avoid. 'Because I said so' has been coming out of parents' mouths since forever — and Raouda says it's not effective at all. ''Because I said so' shuts down communication and teaches blind obedience,' she explained in a CNBC article. Instead, she advised parents to say, 'I know you don't like this decision. I'll explain, and then we're moving forward.' Simple, yet effective. 'You're not debating or negotiating — you're modeling respectful leadership,' the expert said. 'This phrasing acknowledges their feelings and reinforces that you're in charge in a calm, grounded way.' Another popular tactic used by frustrated parents is making a threat by saying, 'If you don't listen, you'll lose [X privilege].' 'When you're ready to do [X specific behavior], we can do [X desired activity],' is different verbiage but achieves the outcome you want, according to the expert. 'This phrase shifts the power dynamic: It keeps your boundary firm while giving your child agency over when they're ready to meet it. You're not removing the limit — you're removing the struggle,' she said in the article. Undermining your little one's feelings by saying, 'Stop it, you're fine,' is another no-no. 'Dismissing a child's emotions teaches them that their feelings are wrong or too much to handle. Emotional invalidation leads to disconnection, and disconnected kids don't cooperate,' Raouda said. 'When a child feels heard, they calm down faster — and trust you more.' In addition to these ineffective, toxic phrases — another parenting style experts want you to stop doing to your kids is 'ego parenting.' 'Ego parenting is when a parent is parenting from their own need to feel good, right, in control, or validated,' mental health therapist Cheryl Groskopf told Pop Sugar. 'It's less about supporting the child's growth and more about protecting the parent's image or feelings.' If you're scratching your head wondering what this type of parenting looks like — examples of it are refuding to back down in an argument, never apoligizing, saying things like 'Because I'm the adult' and pushing young kids into doing activities they don't want to do solely for the sake of appearances. 'They [children] often internalize the belief that love is conditional — that they're only worthy when they perform, behave, or feel a certain way,' Dr. Caroline Fenkel, an expert in adolescent mental health, told the outlet. As a result, this parenting style can lead to anxiety, perfectionism, low self-esteem and a fear of failure.
Daily Mail
23-06-2025
- General
- Daily Mail
Five phrases parents should NEVER use if they want well-behaved children, according to kids psychologist
A child psychologist has revealed five phrases that parents should never use if they want well-behaved children. After years of research, parenting coach Reem Raouda has found that dealing with defiant children by making threats or harsh consequences isn't actually helpful, per CNBC. Instead, she recommended using phases that children actually want to listen to. She explained that certain terms such as 'Stop that' or threats like 'if you don't do this, then...' can actually trigger a fight-or-flight response in an argumentative child. Through research and raising her own children, Reem found five sentences that she believes will 'instantly make kids not want to listen.' The first phrase to never say is: 'Because I said so.' '"Because I said so" shuts down communication and teaches blind obedience,' she explained. Instead, Reem suggested a different way to approach it: 'I know you don't like this decision. I'll explain, and then we're moving forward.' The child psychologist explained that this works because 'explaining your reasoning helps the child feel respected.' 'You're not debating or negotiating - you're modeling respectful leadership,' she added. 'This phrasing acknowledges their feelings and reinforces that you're in charge in a calm, grounded way.' The second phrase that Reem found doesn't work as well as parents think is, 'If you don't listen, you'll lose [X privilege].' Instead, she suggested saying: 'When you're ready to do [X specific behavior], we can do [X desired activity].' Reem believes the changed phrase works better than the former because threats can create defiance and force kids into a defensive state. 'This phrase shifts the power dynamic: It keeps your boundary firm while giving your child agency over when they're ready to meet it. You're not removing the limit - you're removing the struggle,' she detailed. Another phrase she advised against was: 'Stop crying. You're fine.' For alternative language, Reem suggested saying: 'I see you're really upset. Tell me what's happening.' 'Dismissing a child's emotions teaches them that their feelings are wrong or too much to handle. Emotional invalidation leads to disconnection, and disconnected kids don't cooperate,' Reem explained. 'When a child feels heard, they calm down faster - and trust you more.' The fourth phrase Neem urged against was, 'How many times do I have to tell you?' Rather than proposing a question, she recommended saying: 'I've asked about this a few times. Help me understand what's making this hard for you.' Reem detailed: 'This frustrated question assumes the child is being intentionally difficult. 'But often, what looks like defiance is actually confusion, disconnection, or a lagging skill. 'The reframe invites problem-solving instead of blame - and that gets to the root of the issue.' The final phrase she said parents should never say was, 'You know better than that.' Instead, Reem recommended moms and days tell kids: 'Something's getting in the way of your best self right now. Let's talk about it.' '"You know better" shames the child and questions their integrity,' she shared. 'But the alternative phrase reflects a mindset shift - from punishment to partnership. 'It assumes the best in your child and encourages self-reflection instead of defensiveness. It sends the message: "I believe in you, and I'm here to help."' The child psychologist urged parents that the secret to getting their kids to listen is making them feel respected, emotionally safe, and involved in the process. 'Instead of treating defiance as something to squash, we begin to see it as a signal: a call for connection, clarity or emotional support,' Reem detailed. 'When we respond with empathy and leadership, rather than control and criticism, we reduce power struggles and raise children who trust us, regulate themselves more easily, and grow into emotionally resilient adults.'
