Latest news with #Salemi
New York Post
04-07-2025
- Business
- New York Post
Is a toxic boss ruining your life? Here's what to do about it, before things get worse
If you're feeling overwhelmed and diminished at work, a toxic manager could be to blame. A bad boss can define the work experience. Someone who casts down on the people who report to them and ignores their needs can end up demolishing their sense of belonging, determination and purpose, experts warn. 'A bad boss can make or break your employment,' Vicki Salemi, a New York City-based career expert for Monster, told USA Today. Advertisement 'You may love your job and enjoy time with your colleagues and the company you work for, but at the end of the day, if your boss is toxic, this often surpasses cumulative positive reasons to stay.' Not only does having a bad boss decrease morale, it can also affect one's mental health. A 2024 survey by Monster found that 54% of those surveyed said they had poor mental health as a result of a toxic, controlling manager. But how can you tell if your manager is toxic, and what can you do about it? Signs that your manager is toxic They don't have your back Advertisement One telltale sign of a manager that doesn't support their employees is when they try to make a lower-level worker look bad and throw them under the bus. 'They dim your light to protect their ego,' Steven Claes, who writes about leadership, human resources and culture, recently shared on LinkedIn. 'Your success threatens their fragile self-esteem… Your confidence is the price of their power trip.' 'Your manager should be someone you think of as trustworthy. They should always have your back,' Salemi told USA Today. 'Whether you're in the room or not, they sing your praises.' 4 'A bad boss can make or break your employment,' Vicki Salemi, a career expert for Monster, told USA Today. Nattakorn – They play favorites Advertisement Playing favorites and pitting employees against one another also creates a hostile work environment. 'Say you're in a team meeting. You and four colleagues worked collaboratively on a project, but your boss only gives accolades and shines a spotlight on one person, their go-to favorite,' Salemi told the outlet. 'That's a sign of toxic leadership.' Encouraging cliques or rivalries within the office, as well as withholding praise from certain employees and not others can take away any source of trust and collaboration. They lack empathy and self-awareness Toxic bosses often lack the ability to recognize their emotions, according to the American Association for Physician Leadership. They tend to think they're right about everything, which can lead to animosity on the team. Advertisement 'Toxic bosses don't invest time or energy in building relationships to understand how their communication approach may impact others,' the AAPL said. 'They struggle to relate to team members' challenges, perspectives, and emotions, and this in turn leads to low trust.' 4 Empathy and compassion allows a boss to lead and connect with their direct reports, and those who lack this trait tend to be toxic managers. Dragana Gordic – They micromanage and make unrealistic demands Another example of toxic behavior in a manager is someone who nitpicks every detail and checks in too much, or someone who asks for a detailed list of how you spent every minute of your workday. This demonstrates a lack of trust and a need for control, insecurity as a manager, or the inability to delegate tasks. And the demands can be unrealistic, such as expecting you to do the work of multiple people without proper compensation, which can ultimately lead to burnout, resentment and lower productivity. Regardless, those who are micromanaged at work have reported nearly double the stress and tension at work compared to those who aren't micromanaged, according to a 2023 American Psychological Association survey. 'Toxic bosses will weaponize their authority, expecting employees to carry out their instructions obediently and without questioning their authority or the value of the work being undertaken,' the AAPL wrote. 'They seek to control how you complete your work.' They reject feedback If a boss is given constructive feedback and responds by getting defensive or dismissive, or even by retaliating, this is a sign of poor emotional intelligence and an inflexible mindset — which is an obstacle to successful leadership. Advertisement 'Accountability is for everyone else, not them,' Claes noted. Along with rejecting feedback, toxic managers reject ideas from employees as well. 'They shut down new ideas faster than you can blink,' Claes wrote. ''We've always done it this way' is their mantra.' 4 Playing favorites and pitting employees against one another also creates a hostile work environment. Sathaporn – How to deal with a toxic manager 'A good boss lifts you up. They don't tear you down. You deserve to feel valued at work,' Claes said on LinkedIn. Advertisement When dealing with a toxic manager, Claes suggests making sure you know your worth, set clear boundaries, documenting everything, build a support network and if needed, look for a different job. There are also direct steps you can take to potentially improve the situation and protect your well-being. Talk to your boss directly If you feel comfortable, you can approach the toxic manager directly and let them know how their behavior is affecting you. 'First, prepare what you're going to say with specific examples,' Salemi told USA Today. 'It's OK to go into the meeting with notes in your hand or on your phone.' Advertisement She suggested taking the following steps: State the facts of the situation. Let your boss know you felt unsupportive and share what you would hope for instead. Read their body language and allow for silence, even if it's uncomfortable. 'It's important to be factual. State specific examples, link them to your feelings, and talk about how it undermined your ability to do the work asked of you. Don't be accusatory or apportion blame,' the AAPL advised. With a toxic boss, it's possible they may not respond well, perhaps deflecting or trying to gaslight you — but it's important to keep calm. And like Claes suggested, document the conversation in case you need to take it to to a higher up. Advertisement 4 There are direct steps you can take to potentially improve the situation and protect your well-being. YURII MASLAK – Go to HR If necessary, you can go to human resources for help with a toxic manager — but be cautious and only do it under certain circumstances. 'If it's a discrimination issue, then absolutely go to HR,' Salemi told USA Today. 'But if it's something like your boss playing favorites, that can be viewed as more subjective.' Manage up Managing up is more of a 'wild card' approach and is for certain situations. For example, if your manager is going on vacation and delegated tasks to you, you can schedule a time to meet with their boss to check in and provide updates on your end. 'It's not a one-size-fits-all approach, but it's more to get onto your boss's boss's radar screen so they can interact with you and see your hard work firsthand,' Salemi said.
USA Today
26-06-2025
- Business
- USA Today
What is a compressed work schedule? Pros, cons and how to ask your boss for one
The traditional 40-hour workweek has long been the hallmark of American employment — but is it still the best way to work? With more people logging in from home, balancing family demands and prioritizing flexibility, the once-sacred 9-to-5, five-day structure is showing its age. 'Nearly half of workers said they were interested in reducing work hours to a 32-hour week without a reduction in pay and workload, and 27% want flexible schedules where they could choose their start and end times [in a November 2024 survey],' says Vicki Salemi, a career expert with Monster. The Monster survey also showed that three out of four job seekers are more likely to apply to a role if it offers a four-day workweek. Still, some employers are hesitant to reduce weekly hours while providing full pay and benefits. Enter the compressed work schedule, a growing alternative that trades longer workdays for fewer of them. 'A compressed work schedule means you're working fewer days,' Salemi says. 'For example, you might work 10-hour days Monday through Thursday.' That frees you up for a three-day weekend every weekend. Though a compressed schedule may sound ideal, it's not the right fit for everyone. Before you commit to a longer weekend, here's how to decide if the trade-off is worth it. Why embrace a compressed work schedule For employees who want more control without sacrificing full-time status, a compressed schedule offers an appealing alternative. From extra time to recharge to real savings on commuting costs, here's why this alternative schedule is gaining traction with today's workforce. One of the most significant advantages of a compressed work schedule is the added flexibility it gives you. Whether it's scheduling doctor's appointments, tackling errands or simply enjoying a slower-paced Friday, having an extra day off each week can make it easier to manage life outside of work. That kind of breathing room can reduce stress, boost productivity during work hours and help you feel more in control of your routine. A recent Gallup poll found one-third of workers are fully remote and half follow a hybrid schedule. But even for remote workers, fewer scheduled days can free up time and reduce screen fatigue. By freeing up an additional day each week, you can significantly improve work-life balance and overall job satisfaction. You have more time to rest, spend with family or pursue hobbies — all without using vacation days. The American Psychological Association reports that pilot programs have consistently shown a shift to a four-day workweek improves well-being and job satisfaction. 'Workers with particularly long, tedious commutes benefit most from compressed schedules,' Salemi says. In 2023, the U.S. Bureau of Transportation Statistics estimated that it costs $0.81 per mile to operate and maintain a vehicle. Using that number, a 20-mile daily round-trip commute costs roughly $16.20. Skipping one commute day per week across 50 working weeks saves you approximately $810 annually. Spending one less day commuting each week can also have meaningful environmental benefits. A study by Cornell University and Microsoft found that skipping the commute just one day per week reduces an individual's carbon footprint by 2%. Drawbacks of a compressed work schedule Packing 40 hours into fewer days can lead to unintended challenges — from longer, more exhausting workdays to logistical hurdles such as childcare or team coordination. Before jumping into a condensed schedule, it's important to consider whether the benefits outweigh the potential stressors. A compressed work schedule doesn't mean you're working fewer hours — your time is just condensed. That can result in increased stress during the workweek. 'It can lead to work imbalance during those four work days, such as less time and energy to spend time with family, workout, do personal errands or go to appointments,' Salemi says. Additionally, if everyone is working on a different timeline, a team might have some difficulty coordinating meetings or events. If your workload is heavy, compressing it into fewer days can backfire. "If workers have an insurmountable workload, this can lead to burnout," says Salemi. "Even though a longer weekend can help boost work-life balance, during the week, they may find themselves more stressed out with those additional hours." For jobs that involve physical labor, stress and fatigue can also raise the risk of exhaustion or even workplace accidents. Many schools and childcare facilities open and close at hours aligned with the traditional workweek. 'This may not be the best scenario for parents or caregivers who need to attend to children or the elderly throughout the day or at least be at home around dinner time,' Salemi says. How to pitch a condensed working schedule to your employer If you believe the benefits of a compressed working schedule outweigh the drawbacks, consider presenting this idea to your employer. 'Keep the business top-of-mind,' Salemi says. 'Demonstrate how it can boost your productivity and hopefully customer satisfaction and the bottom line.' Here's her recommended approach: Whether you're aiming for more flexibility, greater efficiency or simply an extra day to breathe, a compressed schedule might be worth considering.
USA Today
24-06-2025
- Business
- USA Today
7 signs of a toxic manager — and what to do about it
If you're constantly being undermined, overwhelmed and ignored by your manager, you might have a toxic boss. A toxic boss demoralizes the people who report to them, stripping them of their sense of belonging, autonomy and purpose. Lower workplace morale isn't the only effect. In a survey conducted by the career site Monster in April 2024, 54% of surveyed workers cited poor mental health due to a toxic, controlling manager. 'A bad boss can make or break your employment,' says Vicki Salemi, a New York City-based career expert for Monster. 'You may love your job and enjoy time with your colleagues and the company you work for, but at the end of the day, if your boss is toxic, this often surpasses cumulative positive reasons to stay.' Do you work for a great organization?Nominate it as one of America's Top Workplaces. Signs of a bad manager Here's how to tell if your boss is toxic, what to do to try to improve your situation and when to consider walking away. Trying to make a lower-level employee look bad is a hallmark of an unsupportive manager. Pay attention to the ways your manager refers to you in group emails or meetings. If your boss downgrades your work or disrespects you, this is a huge red flag. 'Your manager should be someone you think of as trustworthy. They should always have your back,' Salemi says. 'Whether you're in the room or not, they sing your praises.' Some managers assume that if they're responsible for their team's failures, they should also take credit for all its successes. Not true, says Salemi. A strong leader will always try to make you look good whenever possible. 'They shine a spotlight on you when it's appropriate,' she says. 'For instance, in a meeting, especially if you're not there and their boss praises the team for its work, they'll give credit where credit is due — to you — rather than implying they did all the work themselves.' Empathy is a vital trait for any manager, enabling them to connect with their direct reports and lead with compassion and understanding. Unfortunately, toxic leadership lacks this trait. Salemi uses the following example: 'Maybe your child had to go to the emergency room, so you missed a deadline. Your boss shamed you for missing the deadline as if it's the only important thing, rather than offering you empathy, support, and flexibility you need during a scary and stressful personal time.' A manager who checks in excessively, nitpicks your work or demands a detailed accounting of how you spend every moment of your workday is another example of toxicity. These behaviors can indicate a lack of trust, a need for control, insecurity in their role or simply poor delegation skills. Regardless of the root cause, a micromanaging boss can erode your motivation to work. A 2023 American Psychological Association survey found that four in 10 U.S. workers feel micromanaged at work; those who are micromanaged report nearly double the stress and tension compared to non-micromanaged workers. Expecting you to do the work of three people without adjusting timelines or compensation is a classic sign of toxic leadership. Unrealistic demands can lead to burnout, resentment and a loss of productivity across the entire team. 'Say you're in a team meeting,' Salemi notes. 'You and four colleagues worked collaboratively on a project, but your boss only gives accolades and shines a spotlight on one person, their go-to favorite. That's a sign of toxic leadership.' A manager who fosters cliques, withholds praise selectively or encourages rivalry among teammates erodes trust and unity. This kind of workplace tension is a breeding ground for dysfunction. If your boss becomes defensive, dismissive or retaliatory when given constructive feedback, it signals poor emotional intelligence and a fixed mindset — two significant obstacles to effective leadership. Salemi notes that in these situations, a toxic leader might try to place the blame on anyone else they can to shift attention away from their inadequacies. How to deal with a toxic boss at work Identifying a toxic manager, while painful, is the easy part. If you're stuck working for a toxic manager, it can feel paralyzing. But there are steps you can take to protect your well-being and possibly improve your circumstances — starting with these three. If you feel safe doing so, try raising concerns in a clear, calm and professional way. Your manager might not realize their behavior is affecting you and may be open to change. 'First, prepare what you're going to say with specific examples,' Salemi suggests. 'It's OK to go into the meeting with notes in your hand or on your phone.' She suggests the following steps: Your boss may deflect, be in denial or try to gaslight you, but it's essential to remain calm. Keep an ongoing file to document the conversation in case you need to escalate it to HR or their supervisor. You'll have a record of the conversation date, topics discussed, and the outcome. You can tap human resources for help with a bad boss, but only under certain circumstances. 'If it's a discrimination issue, then absolutely go to HR,' Salemi says. 'But if it's something like your boss playing favorites, that can be viewed as more subjective.' Salemi says you might have another wildcard option as summer vacations approach. If your boss is on vacation and has delegated tasks to you, try to schedule a time on their boss's calendar to check in and provide updates so they can see your diligence and follow-through. 'It's not a one-size-fits-all approach, but it's more to get onto your boss's boss's radar screen so they can interact with you and see your hard work firsthand,' she says. When to move on from a toxic work environment While you can sometimes improve your situation in a workplace with a bad boss, you're fighting a built-in hierarchy. You cannot usually change your boss or their management style,' Salemi says. Only you know the dynamics and politics of your current job, but if you've exhausted all your options, it's time to get out. As frustrating as the situation may be, you can apply the lessons learned to your next role. "Identify the worst traits of your current boss so you can seek the opposite in your next boss,' she says. If your boss ignores you, then during your next job interview, pay attention to see how your prospective new boss listens, makes eye contact and interacts with you."
The Advertiser
20-06-2025
- Politics
- The Advertiser
Friends united by concern for family in Iran and Israel
Conflict in the Middle East is thousands of kilometres away from the desks of Saina Salemi and her colleague Oscar, but the pair constantly discuss blasts and evacuation warnings. Ms Salemi hasn't spoken to her family in Iran for more than three days due to a nation-wide internet blackout, while Oscar - who asked that his surname not be used - has no idea when he'll next see his parents who are trapped in Israel. "My helplessness would have been made worse had someone like Oscar not been here. There's only so many people in your life that can truly understand a situation like this," Ms Salemi told AAP. Israel and Iran have been trading strikes since the Israeli military began its attack a week ago in a bid to wipe out Iran's nuclear program, but geopolitical tensions are not dividing the two friends from Melbourne. "Despite what these countries are putting each other through, the fact that it hasn't got between us even for a millisecond, I feel very touched," Oscar said. The pair are consumed by worry for their families and appalled by the scale of human suffering in countries they remember fondly from holidays. "I said to Ocar, I feel like I'm going crazy, because everybody around me is moving so normally and is going about their day-to-day lives, and I'm just watching a 24/7 live blog all the time," Ms Salemi said. "The Iranian diaspora, we are really tired of people being used as collateral damage." She's angry her family in Tehran have no bomb shelter to go to and worried about what could happen to her elderly grandparents after Donald Trump warned some 10 million people in Iran's capital to evacuate. The president said he will make a decision about whether the US joins the conflict within two weeks, demanding Iran's unconditional surrender. However, Iran has warned of "all-out war" if the US joins the conflict. "I texted my cousin last night telling him I loved him and there's a great numbness that comes with feeling like you're saying 'I love you' to someone for the last time," Ms Salemi said. "I'm yet to hear back from that text message." More than 2000 Australians have registered for assistance to leave Iran and more than 1200 have registered to leave Israel, with Australian military personnel and aircraft being deployed to help. Oscar's parents have barely left their bomb shelter since the conflict flared and he doesn't know how they'll come home, after receiving a warning they may not be safe at Jordan's land border crossing. "I really feel for my parents, I feel for everyone in Tehran, in Gaza, in Tel Aviv," Oscar said. "None of them deserve it, it's exhausting." He's grateful to have grown up in Australia where he and Ms Salemi can lean on each other for support. "I do think that there's something really special about this country where you can have this kind of friendship," he said. "I hope most Australians don't have to understand what it's like having family in these kinds of circumstances." Israeli strikes on Iran have killed at least 639 people and wounded more than 1300 others, according to a Washington-based Iranian human rights group. Israel says Iran's retaliatory strikes killed at least 24 people and wounded hundreds. Conflict in the Middle East is thousands of kilometres away from the desks of Saina Salemi and her colleague Oscar, but the pair constantly discuss blasts and evacuation warnings. Ms Salemi hasn't spoken to her family in Iran for more than three days due to a nation-wide internet blackout, while Oscar - who asked that his surname not be used - has no idea when he'll next see his parents who are trapped in Israel. "My helplessness would have been made worse had someone like Oscar not been here. There's only so many people in your life that can truly understand a situation like this," Ms Salemi told AAP. Israel and Iran have been trading strikes since the Israeli military began its attack a week ago in a bid to wipe out Iran's nuclear program, but geopolitical tensions are not dividing the two friends from Melbourne. "Despite what these countries are putting each other through, the fact that it hasn't got between us even for a millisecond, I feel very touched," Oscar said. The pair are consumed by worry for their families and appalled by the scale of human suffering in countries they remember fondly from holidays. "I said to Ocar, I feel like I'm going crazy, because everybody around me is moving so normally and is going about their day-to-day lives, and I'm just watching a 24/7 live blog all the time," Ms Salemi said. "The Iranian diaspora, we are really tired of people being used as collateral damage." She's angry her family in Tehran have no bomb shelter to go to and worried about what could happen to her elderly grandparents after Donald Trump warned some 10 million people in Iran's capital to evacuate. The president said he will make a decision about whether the US joins the conflict within two weeks, demanding Iran's unconditional surrender. However, Iran has warned of "all-out war" if the US joins the conflict. "I texted my cousin last night telling him I loved him and there's a great numbness that comes with feeling like you're saying 'I love you' to someone for the last time," Ms Salemi said. "I'm yet to hear back from that text message." More than 2000 Australians have registered for assistance to leave Iran and more than 1200 have registered to leave Israel, with Australian military personnel and aircraft being deployed to help. Oscar's parents have barely left their bomb shelter since the conflict flared and he doesn't know how they'll come home, after receiving a warning they may not be safe at Jordan's land border crossing. "I really feel for my parents, I feel for everyone in Tehran, in Gaza, in Tel Aviv," Oscar said. "None of them deserve it, it's exhausting." He's grateful to have grown up in Australia where he and Ms Salemi can lean on each other for support. "I do think that there's something really special about this country where you can have this kind of friendship," he said. "I hope most Australians don't have to understand what it's like having family in these kinds of circumstances." Israeli strikes on Iran have killed at least 639 people and wounded more than 1300 others, according to a Washington-based Iranian human rights group. Israel says Iran's retaliatory strikes killed at least 24 people and wounded hundreds. Conflict in the Middle East is thousands of kilometres away from the desks of Saina Salemi and her colleague Oscar, but the pair constantly discuss blasts and evacuation warnings. Ms Salemi hasn't spoken to her family in Iran for more than three days due to a nation-wide internet blackout, while Oscar - who asked that his surname not be used - has no idea when he'll next see his parents who are trapped in Israel. "My helplessness would have been made worse had someone like Oscar not been here. There's only so many people in your life that can truly understand a situation like this," Ms Salemi told AAP. Israel and Iran have been trading strikes since the Israeli military began its attack a week ago in a bid to wipe out Iran's nuclear program, but geopolitical tensions are not dividing the two friends from Melbourne. "Despite what these countries are putting each other through, the fact that it hasn't got between us even for a millisecond, I feel very touched," Oscar said. The pair are consumed by worry for their families and appalled by the scale of human suffering in countries they remember fondly from holidays. "I said to Ocar, I feel like I'm going crazy, because everybody around me is moving so normally and is going about their day-to-day lives, and I'm just watching a 24/7 live blog all the time," Ms Salemi said. "The Iranian diaspora, we are really tired of people being used as collateral damage." She's angry her family in Tehran have no bomb shelter to go to and worried about what could happen to her elderly grandparents after Donald Trump warned some 10 million people in Iran's capital to evacuate. The president said he will make a decision about whether the US joins the conflict within two weeks, demanding Iran's unconditional surrender. However, Iran has warned of "all-out war" if the US joins the conflict. "I texted my cousin last night telling him I loved him and there's a great numbness that comes with feeling like you're saying 'I love you' to someone for the last time," Ms Salemi said. "I'm yet to hear back from that text message." More than 2000 Australians have registered for assistance to leave Iran and more than 1200 have registered to leave Israel, with Australian military personnel and aircraft being deployed to help. Oscar's parents have barely left their bomb shelter since the conflict flared and he doesn't know how they'll come home, after receiving a warning they may not be safe at Jordan's land border crossing. "I really feel for my parents, I feel for everyone in Tehran, in Gaza, in Tel Aviv," Oscar said. "None of them deserve it, it's exhausting." He's grateful to have grown up in Australia where he and Ms Salemi can lean on each other for support. "I do think that there's something really special about this country where you can have this kind of friendship," he said. "I hope most Australians don't have to understand what it's like having family in these kinds of circumstances." Israeli strikes on Iran have killed at least 639 people and wounded more than 1300 others, according to a Washington-based Iranian human rights group. Israel says Iran's retaliatory strikes killed at least 24 people and wounded hundreds. Conflict in the Middle East is thousands of kilometres away from the desks of Saina Salemi and her colleague Oscar, but the pair constantly discuss blasts and evacuation warnings. Ms Salemi hasn't spoken to her family in Iran for more than three days due to a nation-wide internet blackout, while Oscar - who asked that his surname not be used - has no idea when he'll next see his parents who are trapped in Israel. "My helplessness would have been made worse had someone like Oscar not been here. There's only so many people in your life that can truly understand a situation like this," Ms Salemi told AAP. Israel and Iran have been trading strikes since the Israeli military began its attack a week ago in a bid to wipe out Iran's nuclear program, but geopolitical tensions are not dividing the two friends from Melbourne. "Despite what these countries are putting each other through, the fact that it hasn't got between us even for a millisecond, I feel very touched," Oscar said. The pair are consumed by worry for their families and appalled by the scale of human suffering in countries they remember fondly from holidays. "I said to Ocar, I feel like I'm going crazy, because everybody around me is moving so normally and is going about their day-to-day lives, and I'm just watching a 24/7 live blog all the time," Ms Salemi said. "The Iranian diaspora, we are really tired of people being used as collateral damage." She's angry her family in Tehran have no bomb shelter to go to and worried about what could happen to her elderly grandparents after Donald Trump warned some 10 million people in Iran's capital to evacuate. The president said he will make a decision about whether the US joins the conflict within two weeks, demanding Iran's unconditional surrender. However, Iran has warned of "all-out war" if the US joins the conflict. "I texted my cousin last night telling him I loved him and there's a great numbness that comes with feeling like you're saying 'I love you' to someone for the last time," Ms Salemi said. "I'm yet to hear back from that text message." More than 2000 Australians have registered for assistance to leave Iran and more than 1200 have registered to leave Israel, with Australian military personnel and aircraft being deployed to help. Oscar's parents have barely left their bomb shelter since the conflict flared and he doesn't know how they'll come home, after receiving a warning they may not be safe at Jordan's land border crossing. "I really feel for my parents, I feel for everyone in Tehran, in Gaza, in Tel Aviv," Oscar said. "None of them deserve it, it's exhausting." He's grateful to have grown up in Australia where he and Ms Salemi can lean on each other for support. "I do think that there's something really special about this country where you can have this kind of friendship," he said. "I hope most Australians don't have to understand what it's like having family in these kinds of circumstances." Israeli strikes on Iran have killed at least 639 people and wounded more than 1300 others, according to a Washington-based Iranian human rights group. Israel says Iran's retaliatory strikes killed at least 24 people and wounded hundreds.
West Australian
20-06-2025
- Politics
- West Australian
Friends united by concern for family in Iran and Israel
Conflict in the Middle East is thousands of kilometres away from the desks of Saina Salemi and her colleague Oscar, but the pair constantly discuss blasts and evacuation warnings. Ms Salemi hasn't spoken to her family in Iran for more than three days due to a nation-wide internet blackout, while Oscar - who asked that his surname not be used - has no idea when he'll next see his parents who are trapped in Israel. "My helplessness would have been made worse had someone like Oscar not been here. There's only so many people in your life that can truly understand a situation like this," Ms Salemi told AAP. Israel and Iran have been trading strikes since the Israeli military began its attack a week ago in a bid to wipe out Iran's nuclear program, but geopolitical tensions are not dividing the two friends from Melbourne. "Despite what these countries are putting each other through, the fact that it hasn't got between us even for a millisecond, I feel very touched," Oscar said. The pair are consumed by worry for their families and appalled by the scale of human suffering in countries they remember fondly from holidays. "I said to Ocar, I feel like I'm going crazy, because everybody around me is moving so normally and is going about their day-to-day lives, and I'm just watching a 24/7 live blog all the time," Ms Salemi said. "The Iranian diaspora, we are really tired of people being used as collateral damage." She's angry her family in Tehran have no bomb shelter to go to and worried about what could happen to her elderly grandparents after Donald Trump warned some 10 million people in Iran's capital to evacuate. The president said he will make a decision about whether the US joins the conflict within two weeks, demanding Iran's unconditional surrender. However, Iran has warned of "all-out war" if the US joins the conflict. "I texted my cousin last night telling him I loved him and there's a great numbness that comes with feeling like you're saying 'I love you' to someone for the last time," Ms Salemi said. "I'm yet to hear back from that text message." More than 2000 Australians have registered for assistance to leave Iran and more than 1200 have registered to leave Israel, with Australian military personnel and aircraft being deployed to help. Oscar's parents have barely left their bomb shelter since the conflict flared and he doesn't know how they'll come home, after receiving a warning they may not be safe at Jordan's land border crossing. "I really feel for my parents, I feel for everyone in Tehran, in Gaza, in Tel Aviv," Oscar said. "None of them deserve it, it's exhausting." He's grateful to have grown up in Australia where he and Ms Salemi can lean on each other for support. "I do think that there's something really special about this country where you can have this kind of friendship," he said. "I hope most Australians don't have to understand what it's like having family in these kinds of circumstances." Israeli strikes on Iran have killed at least 639 people and wounded more than 1300 others, according to a Washington-based Iranian human rights group. Israel says Iran's retaliatory strikes killed at least 24 people and wounded hundreds.
