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Metro
19-07-2025
- Metro
I wait on my husband hand and food — so why is he still cheating?
If you think you're in a healthy relationship, learning that your partner has cheated can feel like even more of a betrayal. That was the case for our reader this week, who believed she and her husband were happily married. She's every inch the traditional housewife: she dresses up for her husband, cooks his meals, and raises their two little boys. But her world came crashing down when she discovered he was having an affair with a woman at work. Read the advice below, but before you go, don't forget to read last week's Sex Column, where we heard from a reader who's found herself pregnant at 17. I've recently received several calls from a woman detailing her affair with my husband, which have left me absolutely broken and struggling to cope. We've been together for nearly eight years (married for five) and have two adorable little boys, aged three and six. I don't work, as we decided I'd stay at home with the children rather than pay expensive nursery fees. I thought my husband liked it that way, as dinner is always ready when he gets home and I wait on him hand and foot – in the bedroom too. Maybe it sounds ridiculous, but I get all dressed up in stockings and suspenders and cater to his every need, which I thought made him happy. To find out he's having an affair really came as a shock to me, as I believed he had everything he wanted. He didn't deny it when I confronted him and admitted she's someone from work, who he claims not to be serious about. He promised to finish with her, but I got a couple of friends to spy on him and it's clear he's still seeing her. His so called 'golf days' are nothing of the sort, and when he tells me he has a late meeting, he's with her. She has even called and taunted me about what they do together. I'm really scared to end the marriage as I'd be lost without him, and so would the kids. Despite the way he's behaving, I still love him. It must be horrendous for you, trying to hold it all together while your husband does as he pleases. But you really do need to stand up to him, as he clearly thinks he can get away with whatever he wants. I'm very pro-family and usually urge people to try to save their relationship when there are children involved, as I've seen how damaging splits can be. But in your case, I think that staying together has the potential to damage the children more. Although they're very young, they must pick up on your obvious distress, and it can be traumatic for such little minds to navigate the tension in the house. Of course, in an ideal world you would save your marriage and live happily ever after. But is that what your husband wants? He seems to be enjoying the best of both worlds, with everything he needs at home, as well as his bit on the side. Whether he's serious about her or not, needn't concern you. It's how he's treating you and the children that matters, and frankly his behaviour could hardly be worse. He promised to end the affair but didn't, and though it may not feel that way now, I think your life would be better without him. More Trending If you do end up separating, you'll need urgent legal advice. If you own your own home, the courts will protect your right to live there until the youngest reaches 18, though things can be more complicated if you rent. Please make an appointment with your nearest Citizen's Advice, or preferably consult a good lawyer. You may also want to see your GP about some talking therapy. Take control of your destiny and stop waiting for him to shape up; you and the children deserve better. Laura is a counsellor and columnist. View More » Got a sex and dating dilemma? To get expert advice, send your problem to Do you have a story to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@ MORE: My date showered me with compliments – until I turned down his request MORE: What to do when your partner betrays you — and everyone else knows about it MORE: Think twice before you mock the Coldplay kiss-cam couple
Metro
12-07-2025
- General
- Metro
I'm pregnant at 17 — should I have the baby or go to uni?
An unexpected pregnany can kickstart a wave of conflicting emotions – and that's before other people weigh in with their two cents. This week, we hear from a reader who's had a positive test at 17 years old. Everyone around her has a different opinion, so how can she make up her mind? Read the advice below, but before you go, don't forget to read last week's Sex Column, where we heard from a reader who was fed up of being 'hidden' from his girlfriend's children. I have a great relationship with my boyfriend and love his family to bits. His parents are very laid back, and he has three sisters and two brothers who all squash together into a small house. No one ever argues and I love it there. My own life is quite different; I have no siblings and live in a great big house with just my mum. Dad left when I was still a baby, and I've never known him. I love my mum, but we're not close. She desperately wants me to be something 'big' like a doctor or a lawyer and I'm supposed to go to university next year. She herself had me at 19 and didn't fulfil her own ambitions, so now it's down to me. Unfortunately, my boyfriend and I were a bit careless about taking precautions during sex and I'm now pregnant at 17. I've told my mum and she immediately said she would pay for a termination and that I need to organise one as soon as possible. My boyfriend's family on the other hand, are absolutely thrilled at the prospect of having a baby in the family. They've said I can move in with them and bring up the child there until we can get a place of our own. I do love my boyfriend, but also know there is so much more out there for me to experience. He wants me to keep the baby but Mum is desperate for me to have an abortion. I feel so torn. You've told me what your mum, your boyfriend and his family want, but in this situation, it really does boil down to what you want. I know you're torn and confused but try not to listen to everyone else's opinion – this is so important, it really has to be your decision. Think about your future and where you would like to be this time next year. You could either be a very young mum, living with your boyfriend and all that entails, or you could be getting ready for all the adventures of university. Which option do you feel most drawn to? Remember there are nearly always second chances at this stage in your life – not just another chance to have a baby, but also a second chance to have a career. You need to think very carefully, but also very quickly, before you reach any conclusions. More Trending It might be tough, but it really is vital that you make the decision for yourself and aren't left feeling angry because other people's opinions – including mine – have influenced you to behave in a certain way. But if you decide that a termination is the right option, you need to act fast. You're still only 17 and have your whole life ahead of you, so ignore the background chatter and listen to the voice inside your head. Trust in your ability to make the right choice, and promise yourself that you'll make a success of whatever you decide. Laura is a counsellor and columnist. View More » MORE: Paramedic who gave woman abortion pill without her knowing jailed for 10 years MORE: You can't judge Lily Allen's abortion confession and be pro-choice MORE: Lily Allen 'can't remember' how many abortions she had before IUD contraception
Metro
06-07-2025
- Lifestyle
- Metro
My girlfriend only sees me in hotel rooms — but we've been together for a year
Not all couples like to share their relationships on social media, with some opting for privacy rather than hard-launches and anniversary reels. But this week's reader feels like his girlfriend is keeping him a secret. It's been nearly a year since they met, and he's head over heels. But the woman of his dreams won't fully let him into her life. While he fantasises about spending the rest of their lives together, she's keeping things on the down low, because she doesn't want her ex-husband or two children to know about them. Read the advice below, but before you go, don't forget to read last week's Sex Column about a woman who's found herself pregnant from a one-night stand, and her partner has no idea. My girlfriend and I are compatible in just about every way. We make each other laugh, have the same outlook on life, like the same things and best of all, we have amazing sex. She happens to be beautiful too. I've had lots of relationships that haven't worked out for one reason or another, but with this woman, I feel different. I want to marry her, have children and grow old together, she's that special to me. All that sounds great, right? Well, it isn't quite, and here's the problem. The amazing sex is only on alternate weekends, when her eight-year-old twins are with their dad and I can stay at her place. Other than that, I'm still her little secret. We met online and I live a long way from her so meeting up round my way is rarely an option. If I want to see her during the week, we have to book a hotel near her place and she organises a babysitter, but she always has to get back by midnight. We have great sex but I end up staying on my own the rest of the night. It's too expensive to do very often and to be honest, I never sleep well as I'm so annoyed. She says she doesn't want her ex, or the children, to know about me 'yet'. I've been seeing her for nearly a year, and am wondering when this 'yet' period is going to end. She promises me that she loves me and has no intention of getting back together with her ex-husband. I've confided in a couple of friends who think I'm mad to put up with this, but I really want things to work out. Are they right? Am I mad? No, I don't think you're mad, but you are being a bit too tolerant, especially after a year together. If you really see this woman as a keeper, then this problem has to be sorted out. Your partner is letting herself be controlled by worries about how her ex and the children will react, and obviously that's unhealthy for your relationship. But are you sure she feels as strongly as you? She has other considerations in the form of the twins, so it's quite likely that her priorities are different to yours. More Trending You need to know exactly where you stand, as this situation can't go on indefinitely. Yes, you must be sensitive to the children's feelings but emphasise that you're not trying to replace their father – you just want a more conventional relationship, which involves seeing her more regularly and not being hidden away. It's not good for children to be deceived by a parent, and as for her ex – it's time for him to accept that she has moved on. You really need an honest talk with your girlfriend, to explain how you feel. Encourage her to talk over her worries via the Family Lives helpline on 0808 800 2222. She can also check out their website at which is full of useful information. Laura is a counsellor and columnist. View More » Got a sex and dating dilemma? To get expert advice, send your problem to Do you have a story to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@ MORE: I told my husband 'we're over' after carrying the mental load alone MORE: I always get the 'heatwave horn' – it's the same every summer MORE: My family wants me to have an arranged marriage — but I'm in love with a woman
Metro
28-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Metro
A drunken one-night stand left me pregnant — and my partner has no idea
We all know taking a break from a partner can muddy the waters over what constitutes cheating. Need we mention the infamous 'we were on a break' debacle in Friends? But this week, we hear from a reader has found themselves in an even trickier predicament. After separating from her husband due to his ongoing drug use, she ended up having a drunken one-night stand with someone else. Now she's back with her ex — and not only is she's pregnant, she has the unshakeable feeling it's not his. Read the advice below, but before you go, make sure to read last week's Sex Column about a woman who's desperate to lose her virginity, but has a panic attack whenever she comes close. I'm in my mid-thirties and have been married for eight years to a guy I met on holiday. He comes from Manchester, I'm from London, and he moved to be with me. We married quite quickly but so far don't have children, although he's always said he wants them. The reason I held off is because he used to be a major coke-head, and I never thought he was ready for babies until he grew out of his partying ways. Although he promised to quit, I've caught him out a couple of times and he had to admit to still doing it. For instance, one time when we kissed, my mouth was immediately tingly because he had wiped his gums with coke, and another time, when we were away with friends, he suddenly disappeared. I found him doing a line in the pantry! Finally, I left him and went back to my parents. I thought it was a good time to take a break from the pill but unfortunately, I ended up having a drunken one-night-stand with some random guy I met in a club, and now I'm nearly three-months pregnant. My husband and I got back together shortly after my fling, and he promised he's quit his partying lifestyle. I think me leaving was the jolt he needed, and now everything between us is perfect. I'm fairly sure the baby is the result of my one-night stand, but my partner has no idea about it and is really excited to be a dad. The guy I hooked up with looked eerily similar to him and I'm sure that if I said nothing, he'd be none the wiser. I know if I own up to my fling it will cause a lot of heartache, but the guilt is killing me. I lie awake at night, worrying what to do. You're in a difficult situation, but you need to take a deep breath and calm down. Have an honest talk with your GP; if you're very specific about when you had sex with whom, you might be able to pin down which guy is the father of your baby. Let's assume the doctor can tell with some degree of accuracy, that the baby is your husband's. Should you confess your fling? Only you know how he's likely to react, but if there's zero chance of him ever finding out then honestly, I would say nothing. When faced with a choice between 'bad' or 'worse', sometimes honesty isn't always the best policy. You weren't even together at the time. More Trending But if it looks as though the baby could be your lover's, you have a dilemma. Maybe the guilt is too much for you or you're worried that DNA technology will give you away at some point in the future, in which case you must sit your husband down and tell him about your drunken fling. He'll know his behaviour was a contributary factor and may be willing to forgive and forget. Hopefully your love is strong enough to cope long term, but if you end up being a single parent and want to talk about it, write to me again. Laura is a counsellor and columnist. View More » Got a sex and dating dilemma? To get expert advice, send your problem to Do you have a story to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@ MORE: I'm a man and I don't let myself climax during sex MORE: I spent big to impress women — now I'm £18,000 in debt MORE: My boyfriend wants to split bills 50/50 — I think he's being tight-fisted
Metro
21-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Metro
I'm desperate to lose my virginity but have a panic attack whenever I come close
Virginity may be a social construct, but having sex for the first time can still feel like a huge deal. Often, people are nervous the reality of 'losing it' will be disappointing after building it up in their minds as a life-affirming moment. But for this week's reader, it's far more than a case of the butterflies. Despite the fact she wants to sleep with her boyfriend, her anxiety levels spike whenever they're physically intimate — and she's starting to worry it'll never happen. Read the advice below, but don't forget to check out last week's Sex Column too, from a man who dumped his girlfriend for being too 'vanilla' but is now struggling to perform with his adventurous new lover. I've been seeing the same guy for nearly six months, so you'd assume that we'd have had sex by now. Unfortunately, that's not the case, as I am still a virgin and a bit freaked out about the idea of intercourse. I'm a first-year student and met my boyfriend in the university bar. He's in the year above me and also took a gap year, so he's a little older and more experienced than me. From listening to him talk, he's had a few girlfriends and is sexually quite experienced, whereas I went to an all-girls school and have never had a boyfriend before. I was also brought up in a religious household where sex before marriage is frowned upon, so he knows I'm still a virgin and says he's relaxed about it. My boyfriend has admitted that some girls go for it on the first night, so he thinks it's quite amusing that I'm still holding out. He says he's happy to wait until I'm ready, but I wonder whether he'll give in to temptation if it comes along via another girl. Love reading juicy stories like this? Need some tips for how to spice things up in the bedroom? Sign up to The Hook-Up and we'll slide into your inbox every week with all the latest sex and dating stories from Metro. We can't wait for you to join us! I would like to have sex with him at some point, but every time things get a bit passionate between us, I have an attack of nerves and refuse to go any further. I'm really starting to think there's something wrong with me. Honestly, there's nothing wrong with you. Being a virgin isn't something to be ashamed of, especially if it's just because you've made the decision that you want to lose your virginity to someone special. I'm sure there are lots of other people at your university who are virgins too, and never having had sex doesn't make you a freak. However, if you're feeling conflicted because the decision is based on what you've been taught growing up, you would probably benefit from talking it through with a therapist. Time spent on a one-to-one basis with an expert can unravel all the complex emotions you feel about sex. In particular, counselling can help you resolve the separation between what feels good physically, yet feels bad emotionally. There is clearly more to your relationship than just how you interact in a physical sense, so don't worry about your boyfriend being tempted elsewhere. It's very evident that he wants to be with you for many more reasons than sex. More Trending You've said you would like to have sex with your boyfriend, so just remember that the act of making love is nothing to be afraid of and there's a first time for everyone. Meanwhile, there are many kinds of sexual activity to explore, and you don't have to go the whole way until you're ready for it. Sex can be an expression of love, and if your partner is genuinely understanding and kind, he will take pride in making your first time as special as possible. Waiting a while won't harm your relationship, and a great love life will just add to what you already have together. Laura is a counsellor and columnist. View More » Got a sex and dating dilemma? To get expert advice, send your problem to MORE: I told my date my sexual preferences and was immediately ghosted MORE: Video games are great for my mental and physical wellbeing – Reader's Feature MORE: I'm allowed to date other women – my partner isn't
