Latest news with #childfree
Daily Mail
a day ago
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Bride branded 'delusional ' for message to her sister before wedding as people say 'this is not normal behaviour'
A young woman has revealed how her older sister failed to invite her to her wedding because it's 'childfree' - but is still expecting a gift. The 19-year-old, who appeared to be from the US, took to Reddit to vent her frustration and share a tense message exchange between her and her half-sister. The post, shared on the popular Wedding Shaming subreddit, quickly racked up thousands of comments and over 92,000 upvotes. The bride defined 'adults' as only 21 and over, leaving her younger sibling on the uninvited list. Despite not getting an invite, her sister still insisted on sending her wedding registry details for a gift. Baffled, the 19-year-old questioned why she should be expected to buy a gift when she wasn't even invited, only to be told by her sister that 'it's super common for people who can't make it to send a small gift anyway'. To which she pointed out that she can make the wedding but she was not invited, despite being a 'fully grown adult.' Her sister hit back with: 'You are under 21', to which the sibling replied: 'You're having a dry wedding, why does that matter?' The bride then went onto say her teenage sister was too immature to 'attend an adult event or exist in adult spaces.' The teen shared a slew of screen grabs from the awkward conversation with her sister, who called her 'immature' and 'unsupportive'. Social media users quickly branded the bride's behaviour as 'entitled', 'delusional' and claimed she was a 'bridezilla'. Many also highlighted the glaring hypocrisy of the bride branding her sister too young and 'immature' to attend the wedding, yet still considering her grown-up enough to cough up for a gift. One person said: 'And she called OP a child despite being a young adult. Ok then, why is sis insisting on making a 'child' buy her a gift from her wedding registry??? 'How is the 'child' supposed to have enough adult money to buy something on there? Sis is delusional.' Another said: 'This right here. 'I consulted Reddit. The general consensus was that it is wholly unreasonable to expect children to purchase wedding gifts. That is their parents' responsibility. 'As a child who is not invited to your wedding, I can't imagine any circumstance where it is my responsibility to buy a wedding gift.' Someone else claimed she should say: 'I looked into wedding gift etiquette. Children are not expected to purchase wedding gifts. 'So which is it? Am I a child, or do you so desperately need a gift from a university student?' Another added: 'Two of my cousins had child free weddings and I was invited at ages 16 and 17. 'Childfree' usually means no one whose bedtime is before the wedding will end lol.' Someone else said: 'Right, kids tend to get amped up during weddings, running around and making noise. 'Understandable if that's not the vibe the couple wants. But a 19 year-old? A person old enough to sign contracts, own property, join the military....? 'I assumed the bridezilla didn't want anyone under the drinking age but there's not even any alcohol so excluding OP is just mean.'
Independent Singapore
3 days ago
- Lifestyle
- Independent Singapore
Want to scare off men on dating apps? Just say you don't want kids
SINGAPORE: In the frenetic world of dating apps, an unassuming profile update can spur unexpectedly profound conversations about experiential decisions and life choices. One Singaporean female recently found this out the moment she altered her dating profile to include four intrepid words: 'Looking for DINK partner.' DINK – short for 'Dual Income, No Kids.' This isn't just a financial arrangement, but a way of life. Her profile used to perk up with responses and notifications from interested matches, but immediately after she made clear her penchant for a child-free future, the buzz slackened to a near-halt. 'Is it true that most guys want kids?' she asked Reddit, perplexed by the sudden drop in interest. 'Living in Singapore for two is hard enough. Having one more sounds challenging.' Her experience struck a nerve, and a torrent of reactions flowed in from men. Their viewpoints mirrored that the story behind this trend is a lot more complicated than a simple 'yes' or 'no' to having children. A question of expectations 'For me personally, no,' one Redditor wrote, 'but I think I'm in the minority. There's social pressure on men to feel like they need to be a father and build a family to be seen as successful.' The netizen went on to add that men may nonchalantly say they want children, but that's frequently without truthfully understanding the physical and emotional cost, costs that excessively fall on women. See also Ahn Jae-hyun withdraws from TV series following marital mess Another Redditor weighed in with a self-aware slant: 'We don't have to go through the actual difficult parts like pregnancy, childbirth, and the risk of career loss. It's easy to say we want kids when we won't be the ones giving up so much.' The lifestyle trade-off However, not everybody in that conversation carries the banner of conventional family life. Several Redditors said that while they weren't wholly against having children, they weren't keen on compromising their present lives or mental well-being for the sake of fatherhood. 'I think having kids is a lifestyle change I'm not ready for,' wrote a man in his 30s. 'Not in the near future at least… So, the logical conclusion I came to is DINK.' Another added frankly, 'Wanted, but couldn't afford. Now happily married without.' Also, even younger netizens, in their early 20s, resonated with the same concerns. One commenter said he and his partner had decided not to have children, not because they didn't like the idea or just hate kids, but because they think the emotional and financial costs didn't seem worth it. 'I want to retire earlier, and if I ever make S$15k to S$25k a month, then maybe I'd reconsider.' The emotional baggage of parenthood A few commenters explored deeper into their personal history to explain their standpoint. One Redditor shared that he had been open with his partner from day one — no kids, ever. The reasons were a combination of personal ordeal and pragmatism. 'I grew up in a toxic family,' he wrote. 'I'm still unlearning some toxic traits. It just doesn't sit right with me to be a parent when I can't even handle myself adequately yet.' For him, having a child in his life at a time when he hadn't yet overcome his childhood trauma is irresponsible. Another netizen said that he didn't want his kid to get the same unbearable housing expenses: 'I don't like the idea of my hypothetical kid needing to pay potentially S$1 million for a four-room HDB.' Parenthood as a choice, not a default What's obvious from the discussion is that a rising number of Singaporeans are starting to question the instinctive concept that parenthood is 'a must.' While the traditional expectations still run deep, there's a silent change taking place — a reframing of achievement, closeness, and what it means to build a life together. See also The big 40: A memorable birthday bash for superstar JJ Lin One Redditor wrapped it up seamlessly: 'If I want to play with kids, I'll go visit my sister's or a friend's, but raising one? That's a commitment I'm not willing to take lightly.' In a city as hectic and costly as Singapore, the DINK existence isn't just a movement; it's an echo of shifting priorities. It appears that love doesn't always come with a baby carriage or a high chair.
Yahoo
19-07-2025
- General
- Yahoo
Woman Tells Mother-in-Law to 'Stop Worrying About My Womb' After Baby Pressure
"I told her to stop worrying about my womb out of frustration," she writes in a Reddit postNEED TO KNOW One woman says her mother-in-law won't stop pressuring her to have children Even after telling her mother-in-law they don't plan on having children, she keeps insisting The frustrated daughter-in-law snapped, but now wonders if she crossed a lineA woman says her mother-in-law won't stop pressuring her to have children despite making it clear she and her husband don't want kids. In a post shared to Reddit, she writes that she and her husband have been married for one year and made the decision not to have children, but her husband's mother doesn't respect their decision. "She goes as far as constantly telling me she's lonely and she wants a grandchild," she writes. "She also tends to rub on my stomach whenever I come around which makes me extremely uncomfortable." The mother-in-law brings up children to the couple "literally every other day," and when they emphasize that they "do not want children" and would "rather do other things," she "gets upset" and calls them "selfish." "Whenever we give her our reasons such as finances, the state of the world right now, the many problems women go through when having a baby emotionally and the physical turmoil, she says all those things doesn't matter and we can leave the baby with her," she writes. Recently, the mother-in-law, who is in her 60s, told the couple she needs grandchildren soon because she's "running out of time," which caused the poster to snap. "I told her to stop worrying about my womb out of frustration," she writes, adding that she finds the situation "so weird and uncomfortable to the point I don't ever want to be around her. "Before she was unbearable but now it's just too much," she writes, noting that her mother-in-law never used to bother her this much before they got married. While her mother-in-law's behavior has admittedly been "pissing [her] off," she still turned to Reddit to see if she was in the wrong, but users were firmly on her side. Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human-interest stories. Most users urged the woman to speak to her husband to set up a plan of action regarding his mother. "If it were me, I'd have a chat with my husband and tell him to talk to his Mom and get her under control and set some boundaries. It's not ok for her to keep this up and for him to not shut it down," one commenter suggested. "Obviously your husband isn't shutting it down firmly enough. Next time she brings it up, leave or end the phone call," another added. "If you have to do that twice, you don't go back for a longer period. Make it clear she can choose between the hypothetical grandchildren and seeing the kid she already has." Read the original article on People Solve the daily Crossword
The Guardian
13-07-2025
- General
- The Guardian
I don't plan to have children. That doesn't mean I want them banished from my life
It struck me recently that, as a woman in my 30s, I am almost never asked about my plans to have children. Even in the few instances I have been, the question arose naturally in a related conversation and each time, when I said 'Oh I don't think I want children', the other person responded politely and didn't push any agenda. We could draw conclusions on what this says about other people's impressions of my lifestyle or my mothering instincts. But let's choose to see this anecdote in a positive light. I imagine that, even as recently as 10 years ago, I would have had to endure endless hectoring and intrusive comments about the so-called 'biological clock'. Or about ending up lonely in my old age or having a life which feels somehow empty or unfulfilled, as if that never happens to people with children. I think I don't really get asked this because now fewer of us are having children. Last year, the fertility rate in England and Wales (which measures how many children are born per woman during her childbearing years) was the lowest on record, at 1.44 children. The number of babies born was also the lowest it has been since the 1970s. Figures like this are usually bandied about as a source of doom and gloom regarding the state of the world. People are not having children only because they can't afford to, we are told, or because they fear impending environmental collapse. No doubt this is true for some people. But this focus may eclipse another, more straightforward reason: more of us are realising that if we don't want children we simply don't have to have them. In the space of a few generations many (although not all) of the restrictions placed on women's lives, in particular, have been dropped. It is commonplace for women to go to university and pursue the career of their choosing. The pressure to have a family has lessened. And I think the relief of that pressure is worth celebrating. (After all, in our time of environmental and social collapse we must take our silver linings where we can find them!) Still, I have wondered recently if one negative corollary to these changing norms is a pervasive and growing anti-child sentiment. I notice it everywhere. There is constant social media discourse about the annoyance of having to interact with children in pubs or cafes or parks. Now we're into school holidays I can detect the grumbling ramping up. There are noticeably more children in my local pub as some of the regular patrons have started families. It often feels as if a war is brewing, with locals of all ages hissing and whispering, their eyes narrowed if families leave 15 minutes later than the child curfew. Occasionally there is bad behaviour from the parents too. Recently a few dads brought a group of eight or so children of various ages to spend a sunny day inside watching a football match they were clearly not interested in. Naturally they all charged around the pub like horses in a western, barging into people and knocking over glasses. But I think we can accept there will be bad examples of every demographic and that this group would have had a great time at the park. It isn't just that one pub. There was a story recently about more pub landlords, facing a tough climate in the midst of the cost of living crisis, choosing to ban young children from pubs to manage this tension. I empathise with the difficult position they feel they have been put in. But to me it feels like a choice they shouldn't have to make. Quite often now, too, when I'm in restaurants or cafes, if a parent enters with a child or a pram, people start tutting and muttering, or rolling their eyes. God forbid if the baby starts to cry, as babies do. It strikes me as very rude and also counterproductive. If you greet an adult in a hostile way you won't get the best out of them. Why would it be different for a child? Even as someone not primarily affected by all this tutting and muttering I find it tiresome. It feels melodramatic, joyless and, dare I say, also quite childish. Consider too that, in general, women still do the bulk of childcare. What do we expect them to do? Sit in the house all day wearing black, pushing their babies back and forth in one of those metal Victorian prams with the big spokes, so the rest of us needn't be troubled by their existence? Is it really such a big deal to hear a baby briefly cry in the afternoon in a pub? If that is the price to pay for their mum being out and about in the world I think it's a more than fair one. It feels strange, to me, to draw us all into two camps of 'has children' or 'doesn't have children'. Those labels cover such a vast array of different lifestyles and choices, as well as circumstances which are sadly forced, rather than chosen. But whether or not we end up having children, it serves us well to consider how we welcome families of young children into our public spaces. After all, few of us end up living a life completely 'free' of children. My own isn't. As I come into my 30s the women around me are having children. I already have two godchildren. I have a feeling I might end up with 10 or so. And if I'm ever rich, maybe I will hire them all a holiday villa when they turn 18 and they can bond over the honour of having me for a godparent. I imagine I'll end up with nieces and nephews too. Or stepchildren. Who knows? Time brings all kinds of different, unexpected relationships into our lives. The children I see about in the cafes or pubs in my neighbourhood are a part of the community like anyone else. The idea of public spaces cleanly absent of children seems to speak to a fantasy of a world where the lives we live are totally detached from the lives of the people around us. But of course they aren't. And if this fantasy were reality, our lives would be very small and boring. Rachel Connolly is the author of the novel Lazy City
The Guardian
13-07-2025
- General
- The Guardian
I don't plan to have children. That doesn't mean I want them banished from my life
It struck me recently that, as a woman in my 30s, I am almost never asked about my plans to have children. Even in the few instances I have been, the question arose naturally in a related conversation and each time, when I said 'Oh I don't think I want children', the other person responded politely and didn't push any agenda. We could draw conclusions on what this says about other people's impressions of my lifestyle or my mothering instincts. But let's choose to see this anecdote in a positive light. I imagine that, even as recently as 10 years ago, I would have had to endure endless hectoring and intrusive comments about the so-called 'biological clock'. Or about ending up lonely in my old age or having a life which feels somehow empty or unfulfilled, as if that never happens to people with children. I think I don't really get asked this because now fewer of us are having children. Last year, the fertility rate in England and Wales (which measures how many children are born per woman during her childbearing years) was the lowest on record, at 1.44 children. The number of babies born was also the lowest it has been since the 1970s. Figures like this are usually bandied about as a source of doom and gloom regarding the state of the world. People are not having children only because they can't afford to, we are told, or because they fear impending environmental collapse. No doubt this is true for some people. But this focus may eclipse another, more straightforward reason: more of us are realising that if we don't want children we simply don't have to have them. In the space of a few generations many (although not all) of the restrictions placed on women's lives, in particular, have been dropped. It is commonplace for women to go to university and pursue the career of their choosing. The pressure to have a family has lessened. And I think the relief of that pressure is worth celebrating. (After all, in our time of environmental and social collapse we must take our silver linings where we can find them!) Still, I have wondered recently if one negative corollary to these changing norms is a pervasive and growing anti-child sentiment. I notice it everywhere. There is constant social media discourse about the annoyance of having to interact with children in pubs or cafes or parks. Now we're into school holidays I can detect the grumbling ramping up. There are noticeably more children in my local pub as some of the regular patrons have started families. It often feels as if a war is brewing, with locals of all ages hissing and whispering, their eyes narrowed if families leave 15 minutes later than the child curfew. Occasionally there is bad behaviour from the parents too. Recently a few dads brought a group of eight or so children of various ages to spend a sunny day inside watching a football match they were clearly not interested in. Naturally they all charged around the pub like horses in a western, barging into people and knocking over glasses. But I think we can accept there will be bad examples of every demographic and that this group would have had a great time at the park. It isn't just that one pub. There was a story recently about more pub landlords, facing a tough climate in the midst of the cost of living crisis, choosing to ban young children from pubs to manage this tension. I empathise with the difficult position they feel they have been put in. But to me it feels like a choice they shouldn't have to make. Quite often now, too, when I'm in restaurants or cafes, if a parent enters with a child or a pram, people start tutting and muttering, or rolling their eyes. God forbid if the baby starts to cry, as babies do. It strikes me as very rude and also counterproductive. If you greet an adult in a hostile way you won't get the best out of them. Why would it be different for a child? Even as someone not primarily affected by all this tutting and muttering I find it tiresome. It feels melodramatic, joyless and, dare I say, also quite childish. Consider too that, in general, women still do the bulk of childcare. What do we expect them to do? Sit in the house all day wearing black, pushing their babies back and forth in one of those metal Victorian prams with the big spokes, so the rest of us needn't be troubled by their existence? Is it really such a big deal to hear a baby briefly cry in the afternoon in a pub? If that is the price to pay for their mum being out and about in the world I think it's a more than fair one. It feels strange, to me, to draw us all into two camps of 'has children' or 'doesn't have children'. Those labels cover such a vast array of different lifestyles and choices, as well as circumstances which are sadly forced, rather than chosen. But whether or not we end up having children, it serves us well to consider how we welcome families of young children into our public spaces. After all, few of us end up living a life completely 'free' of children. My own isn't. As I come into my 30s the women around me are having children. I already have two godchildren. I have a feeling I might end up with 10 or so. And if I'm ever rich, maybe I will hire them all a holiday villa when they turn 18 and they can bond over the honour of having me for a godparent. I imagine I'll end up with nieces and nephews too. Or stepchildren. Who knows? Time brings all kinds of different, unexpected relationships into our lives. The children I see about in the cafes or pubs in my neighbourhood are a part of the community like anyone else. The idea of public spaces cleanly absent of children seems to speak to a fantasy of a world where the lives we live are totally detached from the lives of the people around us. But of course they aren't. And if this fantasy were reality, our lives would be very small and boring. Rachel Connolly is the author of the novel Lazy City
