Want to scare off men on dating apps? Just say you don't want kids
DINK – short for 'Dual Income, No Kids.' This isn't just a financial arrangement, but a way of life. Her profile used to perk up with responses and notifications from interested matches, but immediately after she made clear her penchant for a child-free future, the buzz slackened to a near-halt.
'Is it true that most guys want kids?' she asked Reddit, perplexed by the sudden drop in interest. 'Living in Singapore for two is hard enough. Having one more sounds challenging.'
Her experience struck a nerve, and a torrent of reactions flowed in from men. Their viewpoints mirrored that the story behind this trend is a lot more complicated than a simple 'yes' or 'no' to having children. A question of expectations
'For me personally, no,' one Redditor wrote, 'but I think I'm in the minority. There's social pressure on men to feel like they need to be a father and build a family to be seen as successful.' The netizen went on to add that men may nonchalantly say they want children, but that's frequently without truthfully understanding the physical and emotional cost, costs that excessively fall on women. See also Ahn Jae-hyun withdraws from TV series following marital mess
Another Redditor weighed in with a self-aware slant: 'We don't have to go through the actual difficult parts like pregnancy, childbirth, and the risk of career loss. It's easy to say we want kids when we won't be the ones giving up so much.' The lifestyle trade-off
However, not everybody in that conversation carries the banner of conventional family life. Several Redditors said that while they weren't wholly against having children, they weren't keen on compromising their present lives or mental well-being for the sake of fatherhood.
'I think having kids is a lifestyle change I'm not ready for,' wrote a man in his 30s. 'Not in the near future at least… So, the logical conclusion I came to is DINK.'
Another added frankly, 'Wanted, but couldn't afford. Now happily married without.'
Also, even younger netizens, in their early 20s, resonated with the same concerns. One commenter said he and his partner had decided not to have children, not because they didn't like the idea or just hate kids, but because they think the emotional and financial costs didn't seem worth it. 'I want to retire earlier, and if I ever make S$15k to S$25k a month, then maybe I'd reconsider.' The emotional baggage of parenthood
A few commenters explored deeper into their personal history to explain their standpoint. One Redditor shared that he had been open with his partner from day one — no kids, ever. The reasons were a combination of personal ordeal and pragmatism.
'I grew up in a toxic family,' he wrote. 'I'm still unlearning some toxic traits. It just doesn't sit right with me to be a parent when I can't even handle myself adequately yet.'
For him, having a child in his life at a time when he hadn't yet overcome his childhood trauma is irresponsible. Another netizen said that he didn't want his kid to get the same unbearable housing expenses: 'I don't like the idea of my hypothetical kid needing to pay potentially S$1 million for a four-room HDB.' Parenthood as a choice, not a default
What's obvious from the discussion is that a rising number of Singaporeans are starting to question the instinctive concept that parenthood is 'a must.' While the traditional expectations still run deep, there's a silent change taking place — a reframing of achievement, closeness, and what it means to build a life together. See also The big 40: A memorable birthday bash for superstar JJ Lin
One Redditor wrapped it up seamlessly: 'If I want to play with kids, I'll go visit my sister's or a friend's, but raising one? That's a commitment I'm not willing to take lightly.'
In a city as hectic and costly as Singapore, the DINK existence isn't just a movement; it's an echo of shifting priorities.
It appears that love doesn't always come with a baby carriage or a high chair.
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Straits Times
3 hours ago
- Straits Times
Danish lifestyle brand Flying Tiger Copenhagen opens first Singapore store at Bugis+
Find out what's new on ST website and app. The 157 sq m space is packed with toys, games and gadgets, as well as leisure, home and kitchen products. SINGAPORE – Danish lifestyle brand Flying Tiger Copenhagen, known for its colourful and affordable products for the home and office, has opened its first Singapore store at Bugis+ on July 28. Packed with toys, games and gadgets, as well as leisure, home and kitchen products, the 157 sq m space sits on the mall's second floor. It is similar in spirit to lifestyle retailers such as Australian brand Typo and Chinese label Miniso. A cross between Swedish home retailer Ikea and Japanese consumer store Daiso comes to mind, as Flying Tiger Copenhagen showcases a Scandinavian design sensibility in its everyday products. Most items in the Singapore store are priced under $20. The most expensive is a $45 skateboard, while foam water guns are priced at $2. To celebrate the opening, the brand is hosting an interactive pop-up at the Bugis+ atrium from Aug 1 to 3, featuring mini games, a spin-the-wheel station and prizes up for grabs. The Singapore store is the brand's latest step in its Asia-Pacific expansion, which kicked off with Indonesia and the Philippines in 2023, followed by Australia and Vietnam in 2024. Concurrently, the brand's first Malaysian store opened its doors in Johor Bahru's Aeon Mall Tebrau City on July 28. Top stories Swipe. Select. Stay informed. Asia Thailand, Cambodia agree to 'immediate and unconditional ceasefire' to de-escalate border row Singapore Tanjong Katong sinkhole backfilled; road to be repaved after PUB tests Singapore Ong Beng Seng set to plead guilty on Aug 4 in case linked to ex-transport minister Iswaran Asia Gunman kills 5 security guards near Bangkok's Chatuchak market before taking own life Singapore COE quota up 2.6% to 18,701 for August to October Business Resilient economy versus uncertain outlook splits views on Singapore's monetary policy Singapore HPB looking for vaping, smoking counselling services for up to 175 secondary school students Singapore Jail for former pre-school teacher who tripped toddler repeatedly, causing child to bleed from nose The Asia-Pacific stores operate under a franchise model, with Indonesian lifestyle retailer PT Mitra Adiperkasa Tbk (MAP) managing the stores in Indonesia, Malaysia and Singapore. The store's range draws from the same product catalogue of its home stores in Denmark, and are made by the same factories, mostly in China. Mr Martin Jermiin, chief executive of Flying Tiger Copenhagen, tells The Straits Times: 'Since joining Flying Tiger Copenhagen as CEO in 2019, I've had the privilege of leading the brand through a transformational phase of global expansion. Singapore represents a pivotal market in our Asian expansion strategy.' The Singapore store is the brand's latest step in its Asia-Pacific expansion. ST PHOTO: GIN TAY 'Our mission is 'a richer life doesn't cost a fortune'. We strive to bring a sense of surprise and joy into every store visit by providing our customers with a broad, compelling assortment of everyday essentials combined with ever-evolving, inspirational new offerings,' he adds. The brand began as a flea market stall in the late 1980s, with the first bricks-and-mortar store opening in Copenhagen in 1995, where every item was priced at 10 Danish kroner (S$2). A 10 kroner coin is known as a 'tier' in Denmark – which is similar to the Danish pronunciation of 'tiger'. In this light, the first store took the moniker of 'Tiger', and subsequent stores continued to be known as 'Tiger' until 2016. The name was then officially changed to Flying Tiger Copenhagen, as the Tiger name had not been usable in certain markets. As at 2025, it has more than 1,000 stores in 39 markets. ST highlights selected products that shoppers can find at its Singapore store. Cactus Scissors ($8): What looks like a cactus figurine is actually a functional accessory: a storage stand for a pair of scissors. ST PHOTO: GIN TAY 2. Soap bubble machine ($15): This shark-shaped soap bubble machine will be a hit at any playground or birthday party. Bonus: It doubles as a cute piece of home decor. ST PHOTO: GIN TAY 3. Seashell soap dispenser ($9): Make hand-washing more fun with this clamshell-shaped soap dispenser in a deep royal blue. ST PHOTO: GIN TAY 4. Ombre vase ($3): House your flowers in an equally vivid vessel, which has fluted glass detailing. ST PHOTO: GIN TAY 5. Self-care journal ($10): Make self-care a habit with this journal decorated with cherry motifs. ST PHOTO: GIN TAY 6. Cherry cushion ($12): If you have been joining the hordes in accumulating food-themed plush toys, these cherry cushions will be a sweet addition to your collection. ST PHOTO: GIN TAY
Independent Singapore
7 hours ago
- Independent Singapore
Want to scare off men on dating apps? Just say you don't want kids
SINGAPORE: In the frenetic world of dating apps, an unassuming profile update can spur unexpectedly profound conversations about experiential decisions and life choices. One Singaporean female recently found this out the moment she altered her dating profile to include four intrepid words: 'Looking for DINK partner.' DINK – short for 'Dual Income, No Kids.' This isn't just a financial arrangement, but a way of life. Her profile used to perk up with responses and notifications from interested matches, but immediately after she made clear her penchant for a child-free future, the buzz slackened to a near-halt. 'Is it true that most guys want kids?' she asked Reddit, perplexed by the sudden drop in interest. 'Living in Singapore for two is hard enough. Having one more sounds challenging.' Her experience struck a nerve, and a torrent of reactions flowed in from men. Their viewpoints mirrored that the story behind this trend is a lot more complicated than a simple 'yes' or 'no' to having children. A question of expectations 'For me personally, no,' one Redditor wrote, 'but I think I'm in the minority. There's social pressure on men to feel like they need to be a father and build a family to be seen as successful.' The netizen went on to add that men may nonchalantly say they want children, but that's frequently without truthfully understanding the physical and emotional cost, costs that excessively fall on women. See also Ahn Jae-hyun withdraws from TV series following marital mess Another Redditor weighed in with a self-aware slant: 'We don't have to go through the actual difficult parts like pregnancy, childbirth, and the risk of career loss. It's easy to say we want kids when we won't be the ones giving up so much.' The lifestyle trade-off However, not everybody in that conversation carries the banner of conventional family life. Several Redditors said that while they weren't wholly against having children, they weren't keen on compromising their present lives or mental well-being for the sake of fatherhood. 'I think having kids is a lifestyle change I'm not ready for,' wrote a man in his 30s. 'Not in the near future at least… So, the logical conclusion I came to is DINK.' Another added frankly, 'Wanted, but couldn't afford. Now happily married without.' Also, even younger netizens, in their early 20s, resonated with the same concerns. One commenter said he and his partner had decided not to have children, not because they didn't like the idea or just hate kids, but because they think the emotional and financial costs didn't seem worth it. 'I want to retire earlier, and if I ever make S$15k to S$25k a month, then maybe I'd reconsider.' The emotional baggage of parenthood A few commenters explored deeper into their personal history to explain their standpoint. One Redditor shared that he had been open with his partner from day one — no kids, ever. The reasons were a combination of personal ordeal and pragmatism. 'I grew up in a toxic family,' he wrote. 'I'm still unlearning some toxic traits. It just doesn't sit right with me to be a parent when I can't even handle myself adequately yet.' For him, having a child in his life at a time when he hadn't yet overcome his childhood trauma is irresponsible. Another netizen said that he didn't want his kid to get the same unbearable housing expenses: 'I don't like the idea of my hypothetical kid needing to pay potentially S$1 million for a four-room HDB.' Parenthood as a choice, not a default What's obvious from the discussion is that a rising number of Singaporeans are starting to question the instinctive concept that parenthood is 'a must.' While the traditional expectations still run deep, there's a silent change taking place — a reframing of achievement, closeness, and what it means to build a life together. See also The big 40: A memorable birthday bash for superstar JJ Lin One Redditor wrapped it up seamlessly: 'If I want to play with kids, I'll go visit my sister's or a friend's, but raising one? That's a commitment I'm not willing to take lightly.' In a city as hectic and costly as Singapore, the DINK existence isn't just a movement; it's an echo of shifting priorities. It appears that love doesn't always come with a baby carriage or a high chair.
Vogue Singapore
10 hours ago
- Vogue Singapore
The Singapore beauty hot spots to add to your itinerary
Courtesy of Nowhere Baths These days, the notion of rest and relaxation looks a little different for everyone. While the archetypal visual that comes to mind involves dimly lit massage rooms and sweltering steam chambers, that's far from the case in recent times. Looking beyond traditional interpretations brings us to the rejuvenating shock of a cold plunge, a practice beloved among the Hollywood set for its muscle-recovery and inflammation-reducing capabilities. Or perhaps the dulcet tones of a hypnotic sound bath, meticulously designed to mitigate high stress levels. Whatever your preference, it's safe to say that there are options aplenty—many of which are available on our sunny shores, to boot. This does however raise the question: what are the treatments that are worth your time and investment, and where should you go to receive the best possible experience? Rather than trawl through pages of Google reviews, trust in our expertise and peruse our Vogue Singapore-approved beauty schedule, which has been scrupulously constructed to meet a variety of needs, from full-body recuperation to scalp and strand pampering. From an early morning sound bath session, to an evening foot spa utilising Traditional Chinese Foot Reflexology, heed our full-day itinerary of the best Singapore beauty hot spots: Courtesy of Ahimsa Sanctuary 1 / 6 10am: Ahimsa Sanctuary Start your morning right. To quell bouts of anxiety, soothe your nervous system and bolster focus, begin with a Nidra and soundbath class at Ahimsa Sanctuary. Located on a quiet stretch along Neil Road, its warm, cosy space is highly conducive when it comes to easing busy individuals into a state of calm. The serene sound of gongs and singing bowls come together in synchronous harmony to lull you into a peaceful, more patient mindset; the perfect complement to a series of gentle stretches led by an adept instructor. Don't forget to grab some grub at the end of class, too. Ahimsa Sanctuary's vegan menu is as delicious as it is nourishing, brimming with flavour and options in the vein of bagels, tacos, overnight oats and more. Ahimsa Sanctuary, 76 Neil Road. Tel: 8891 9642 Courtesy of Chanel Privé 2 / 6 11am: Chanel Privé With your psyche now at ease and your limbs more relaxed than before, extend this level of care to your visage with a facial at Chanel Privé. Its Le Soin Fascia Sublimage, $450 for 90 minutes, is a prime pick, revered for the drastic toning and lifting effect that this treatment grants. This is thanks to the utilisation of patented massage techniques that consist of deep stretching of the facial fascias. This forces the release of all forms of tension and stress in your mien. An amalgamation of cryotherapy, radiofrequency and microcurrent technology follows to firm and emphasise the contours of your face. Expect to leave sporting a more radiant complexion as well as a sculpted jawline. Chanel Privé, #B2-47 Ion Orchard. Tel: 800 321 1500 Courtesy of Ally 3 / 6 12pm: Ally There is a lot to be said about the benefits of a lunchtime workout, which include heightened productivity as well as a boost in energy. Bearing this in mind, we say forgo your usual cuppa and opt for the Reformer Dynamic Flow 55 class, price upon request, at Ally's latest studio in Maxwell. Its large, open layout ensures everyone has ample room for warm-ups and cool-downs, while its extensive range of grooming essentials is a godsend for beauty buffs. Now that you're in the right headspace for a good sweat sesh, ascend upon the Reformer to engage in physically demanding repertoires that will help fortify your muscle control and balance. Ally, #02-01, 30 Maxwell Road. Tel: 6015 0808 Courtesy of Suchehwa By Ted 4 / 6 2pm: Suchehwa By Ted Eradicate all that accumulated grime and oil from your scalp under the expert care of the team at Suchehwa By Ted. The Korean Nourishing Head Spa, $381.50 for 120 minutes, cleanses, exfoliates and hydrates your noggin in equal measure, with its nutrient-rich and vitamin-packed products ensuring that tresses soak up all the benefits as well. What's more, a customised consultation means you'll be able to identify and resolve concerns such as dryness and clogging. The waterfall bath as well as heated galvanic head massage act as the perfect finishing touch. Suchehwa by Ted, #02-01 UBS Building East Wing, 9 Penang Road. Tel: 6574 9798 Courtesy of Nowhere Baths 5 / 6 4pm: Nowhere Baths As the sun wanes, slowly ease yourself back into a more tranquil, placid mood. To facilitate this, make a trip down to Nowhere Baths, touted as a modern bathhouse dedicated to 'bringing the joy of bathing to everyone'. A two-hour pass, $55, allows for a myriad of options due to its ample number of amenities. We recommend starting with the cold plunge first to soothe tired muscles, before following it up with a dip in the hot pool to boost blood circulation. For those looking to further detox, steam and sauna rooms are also an option. Nowhere Baths, 14A Dempsey Road. Tel: 8923 6150 Courtesy of St Gregory 6 / 6 7pm: St Gregory Don't be neglecting those tootsies, now. After a productive day of activities, head over to the St Gregory spa at Pan Pacific Orchard to test drive the Traditional Chinese Foot Reflexology, $80 for 30 minutes. The deft hands of your masseuse will target the meridian points on the soles of your feet to stimulate them, flushing out waste and toxins as well as abolishing any energy blockages. St Gregory at Pan Pacific Orchard, Level 5 (Beach Terrace), Pan Pacific Orchard, 10 Claymore Road. Tel: 6991 6897 This story appears in Vogue Singapore's 'Home' issue, available online.
