5 days ago
Woman Constantly ‘Forgets' Wallet When Dining Out with Friend, Then Gets Mad When They Refuse to Pay Her Bill
The woman finally put her foot down, but her friend claims she "embarrassed her" and "made her feel small"NEED TO KNOW
Taking to Reddit, a woman wanted to know if she was in the wrong for refusing to pay for a friend's meal
The woman explained that her friend has a habit of forgetting her wallet
Before meeting up for a meal, the poster told her friend she wouldn't be able to pay for her, but the pal showed up without money anywayA woman is feeling taken advantage of by a friend who keeps conveniently forgetting her wallet when they go out for dinner.
In a recent Reddit post, the 26-year-old explained that her 27-year-old friend is someone she's "known for years."
"She's someone I care about deeply, but lately, I've started to feel taken advantage of," the poster explains. "This isn't the first time she's 'forgotten' her wallet, it's probably the fifth. Every time, I've covered it without saying much because I didn't want to make her feel bad."
However, the poster admits that "it does make [her] feel bad," as she is "not made of money" and also "struggling" financially, "just more quietly, I guess."
Before their recent dinner outing, the poster warned her friend that she couldn't afford to pay for two meals and would only be paying for herself.
"She said that was fine. But when the bill came, she looked at me like she expected me to fix it again," she writes. "And when I said I couldn't, she got cold and upset, ended up calling her boyfriend to pay. Later she messaged me saying I embarrassed her and made her feel small."
While the poster "wasn't trying to be mean," she felt like caving would signify that it "was okay to keep being treated like my boundaries didn't matter."
"I feel awful for how it played out… but I also feel like I needed to stand up for myself," she ends, asking other Redditors if she was in the wrong.
In the replies, most commenters rushed to assure the woman that she had made the right decision and was not wrong to stand up for herself.
"Your 'friend' is using you as an ATM. You set a clear boundary. She ignored it and tried to guilt you," one person replied. "The only person who embarrassed her was herself by assuming your money was hers to spend. Real friends don't weaponize 'kindness' to avoid responsibility."
Multiple users wrote that she was prioritizing "self-respect" instead of sacrificing for the sake of pleasing her friend.
"If saying no ends a friendship, it wasn't a friendship—it was a transaction," one person wrote, with another agreeing and writing, "Choosing self-respect over people-pleasing is like setting a boundary 🔒, and if a 'friendship' can't handle that, then it wasn't really about friendship 💔. Transactions aren't relationships 😎. Love that perspective!"
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One user even had some advice for the woman moving forward: "Make it clear going further if she does try to make you pick up her tab. You will request it back to be paid or expect to be covered in full by her next time."
"Even in the past you should have asked her to reimburse you for every single time you had to pay for her without consent," the commenter continued.
"Good on you for standing up for yourself," they added.
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