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From Toxic Rage to Midlife Clarity: Katie Fogarty on the Power of Naming Menopause
From Toxic Rage to Midlife Clarity: Katie Fogarty on the Power of Naming Menopause

Yahoo

time3 hours ago

  • Health
  • Yahoo

From Toxic Rage to Midlife Clarity: Katie Fogarty on the Power of Naming Menopause

On Tuesday evening, Flow Space hosted an intimate gathering to celebrate the release of Midlife Private Parts: Revealing Essays That Will Change the Way You Think About Age. Among all of the standout voices was Katie Fogarty, podcaster, career coach and author of the searingly honest essay 'Toxic Rage.' 'I want a divorce,' her piece begins. 'Four words detonating a sunny day, shouted in my gravel driveway at my college boyfriend husband of 24 years.' It's a dramatic opener, but not for drama's sake. It's a symptom. A red flag. A hormonal thunderstorm rolling through the landscape of a marriage. More from Flow Space The Surprising Workout That Could Heal Your Knee Pain Fogarty's essay recounts the emotional volatility and confusion that arrived—unannounced and unrecognized—as she entered menopause. 'I felt crazy,' she writes. 'Most of the time.' 'For many years, I never thought about menopause at all,' she told the audience of the Tuesday night event. 'And if I did think about it, I associated it with hot flashes, right? Because they have an excellent publicist.' 'So when I never had a hot flash, I didn't think I was in menopause, but I had months and months of sleep interruptions,' she continued. 'I had what my doctor called 'mood instability,' which sounds very genteel, but actually was presenting more like toxic, volcanic fury, and the film was tearfulness, unexplained… Like, I couldn't manage my emotions. I felt like a toddler at times, and my brain had been hijacked.' At the time, Fogarty had just launched her podcast A Certain Age, and was beginning to hear echoes of her experience from guests and listeners: rage, sleep loss, disconnection, depression, even suicidal ideation. 'It's insane that all of these well educated women who are so powerful in so many areas of their life don't have enough information [around menopause]' she said at the event. 'And I felt angry again about how underserved so many women are, and that there are a lot of toolsthat are available that can really help.' Her essay, like her podcast, aims to name what's too often unnamed. She describes the physiological derailment of midlife hormones and the emotional toll of feeling unmoored. It's deeply personal—but it's also a rallying cry. Fogarty's story doesn't end in that driveway. 'Slowly, my husband and I made some changes,' she writes. 'Time passed, and I became more steady, solid.' Hormone therapy, communication, great lube and sheer persistence helped her reclaim joy and connection—with herself and with her husband. The final scene? The two of them laughing uncontrollably in a supermarket aisle, 'holding an artichoke,' the rage now replaced by love and absurdity. It's a reminder that naming our pain is the first step to healing. As Fogarty puts it: 'How did I get here?' In asking that question—not just in despair, but later, in gratitude—she gives all of us permission to do the same.

14 Signs You're A 'Fixer' In Relationships
14 Signs You're A 'Fixer' In Relationships

Yahoo

time9 hours ago

  • General
  • Yahoo

14 Signs You're A 'Fixer' In Relationships

It's a pattern you've likely seen in your friendships, your family, and most acutely, your romantic entanglements. You're the one who wants to fix things, to smooth over the rough edges and turn every frown into a smile. On the surface, that sounds admirable, even noble. But dig a little deeper, and you might find that this desire to 'fix' can signal something more complex: a need for control, a discomfort with vulnerability, or an aversion to conflict. Here are 14 signs that you might be a 'fixer' in your relationships. It's as if you're equipped with X-ray vision that only sees the hidden gem beneath the rough exterior of the person you're dating. You pride yourself on your ability to spot potential where others see flaws. But there's a thin line between believing in someone's capacity for growth and ignoring their current reality. The danger lies in investing more in who they could be rather than who they are, as cautioned by psychologist Dr. John Mayer in Psychology Today. Your urge to nurture their growth often leaves you taking on the role of an unpaid life coach. While intentions are pure, it can create an imbalance where their needs eclipse yours. In this dynamic, you risk feeling unfulfilled, as your emotional energy is poured into a future that might never materialize. This potential-focused mindset can become a smokescreen for avoiding introspection on your own needs and desires. A crisis, big or small, sends you into overdrive. Your partner mentions a problem at work or a spat with a friend, and before they know it, you're armed with a plan of action. Offering solutions becomes your default setting, but it often overshadows a much-needed empathetic ear. In wanting to fix, you might inadvertently dismiss the emotional depth of the situation. This constant problem-solving can drown out the simplicity of just being present. Often, people just need to feel heard and validated, not handed a checklist of next steps. When you jump to solutions, it signals that their feelings might not be valid unless they're actionable. Remember, sometimes the most effective response is a pause, a nod, and a reassuring presence. You express affection through doing, often going above and beyond what's needed or even asked. This can feel overwhelming for partners who might interpret these gestures as controlling rather than caring. According to Dr. Gary Chapman, author of "The 5 Love Languages," your partner must understand your love language, but you must also adapt to theirs. Acts of service become problematic when an expectation of reciprocity or gratitude fuels them. If your gestures are met with indifference, it can lead to feelings of resentment. Ensure that your actions stem from genuine care, not a subconscious scorecard. Love is not a transactional affair; it thrives in mutual recognition and understanding. In your world, conflict equates to failure, so you dodge it at all costs. You smooth things over, turning disagreements into a performance of peace rather than a productive dialogue. What feels like diplomacy is often just the art of sweeping things under the rug. Avoiding conflict doesn't make it go away; it just lets it fester until it finds a more destructive outlet. Yet, growth doesn't happen in comfort zones. Productive conflict can be a catalyst for change, deepening intimacy and understanding. Facing issues head-on, rather than smoothing them over, builds a resilient foundation. Embrace the discomfort; it's where the real work—and the real connection—begins. If your partner is upset, you feel it's your duty to fix it, as if their emotions are a direct reflection of your care. This hyper-responsibility often leads to emotional burnout, enveloping you in a cloud of anxiety. According to a study in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, taking on emotional responsibility can breed codependency, stifling personal growth. Your partner is not a problem to be solved, and emotional states are not puzzles to be pieced together. By taking on their emotional burden, you inadvertently steal their chance to navigate and learn from their emotional landscape. Trust that they can handle their feelings; it's not your job to be their emotional janitor. It's okay to offer support without taking ownership. There's a pattern in your romantic history, a string of partners who need a boost, a guide, a rescuer. They come to you with their broken hearts, their untapped potential, and you happily take on the task. But this savior complex can create an unhealthy dynamic where you always play the hero. The allure of saving someone can distract you from your own needs and growth. This tendency can foster dependency, where your partner relies on you more than they should. Over time, this can stunt their personal development, creating a cycle where neither of you truly flourishes. Relationships are partnerships, not rescue missions. When both parties are equally strong, the relationship is more stable and fulfilling. Your fixer mentality often leads you into murky waters where boundaries blur. You find yourself over-committing, driven by an irresistible pull to save the day. Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship expert, highlights in her research that maintaining boundaries is crucial for healthy relationships. Overstepping these boundaries can leave you drained and, paradoxically, create distance rather than closeness. When your life becomes intertwined with solving your partner's issues, it obliterates the space needed for individual growth. You risk erasing your own identity, morphing into their shadow rather than standing alongside them as an equal. Healthy relationships flourish when both partners retain their individuality. Remember, you're not their lifeline; you're their partner. Friends, family, even acquaintances, flock to you when they're in need of counsel. You pride yourself on being the wise one, the problem solver, the oracle of guidance. While it feels good to be needed, this constant role can be exhausting and can overshadow your own needs. You might find yourself giving more than you're getting, leaving little room for your own emotional expression. There's a risk that your identity becomes entangled with being the solver rather than simply being. When you're always the go-to, you can become isolated, missing out on the reciprocal aspect of relationships. It's okay to step back and let others hold space for you. Remember, even the wise need wisdom and support sometimes. You're drawn to partners who seem to need coaxing out of their emotional shells. Their aloofness is a challenge, a puzzle to be solved, and you relish the task of drawing them out. But emotional unavailability is not simply a barrier to be broken down. It often masks deeper issues that require self-exploration rather than external intervention. This dynamic can leave you feeling perpetually unsatisfied, as your emotional needs remain unmet. The thrill of the chase can distract from the absence of true intimacy. Relationships should be reciprocal, where emotional availability flows both ways. Seek partners who are present and willing to engage in emotional depth from the beginning. You wear your resilience like a badge, often positioning yourself as the strong, unwavering pillar in your relationship. This self-imposed role can become a burden, as it leaves little room for vulnerability or asking for help. Being strong doesn't mean being invincible; it's about knowing when to lean on others. Constantly being the strong one can create a relational imbalance, where your needs are perpetually on the back burner. It can also distance you from your partner, who might feel excluded from your internal world. Embrace strength in vulnerability; it can foster deeper connection and create space for mutual support. Ending relationships feels like admitting defeat, so you hold on tightly, believing that with enough time, things will improve. This clinging is rooted in a belief that change is always possible, that love can redeem all flaws. Yet, holding on can sometimes cause more harm than good, trapping both partners in a cycle of unhappiness. Letting go doesn't mean giving up; it means recognizing when a relationship has run its course. It takes courage to acknowledge that not every connection is meant to last. By releasing what no longer serves you, you open up space for healthier, more fulfilling partnerships. Remember, sometimes the greatest act of love is knowing when to walk away. Your optimism often blinds you to glaring issues, as you focus instead on potential and possibilities. You rationalize red flags with endless justifications, convinced that love will conquer all. But ignoring these signals can lead to a toxic environment, where problems are swept under the rug until they can no longer be ignored. Acknowledging red flags is not cynicism; it's self-preservation. It's about knowing your worth and setting standards for how you deserve to be treated. Relationships should enhance your life, not complicate it. Trust your intuition; it's often more perceptive than your hopeful heart. The fixer in you equates being alone with being unfulfilled, and so you leap from one relationship to the next. This perpetual search for companionship can mask deeper insecurities about self-worth. Being single is not a flaw to be fixed; it's an opportunity for self-discovery and growth. Rushing into relationships can hinder personal development, as you prioritize others' needs over your own self-exploration. True fulfillment comes from within, not from another person. Embrace solitude as a space to understand yourself better. A relationship should complement, not complete, your life. As someone who relishes solving problems, asking for help feels like admitting weakness. You've built an identity around being the reliable one, the problem solver, the fixer. But carrying the weight of the world alone is neither sustainable nor healthy. There's strength in vulnerability, in admitting that you can't do it all. By reaching out for help, you allow others the opportunity to support you, deepening the bonds of your relationships. It's a reminder that you're human, deserving of the same care and attention you so freely give. Let others in, and discover the beauty of shared burdens and mutual support.

3 Signs You're Not In Love; You're Just Attached, By A Psychologist
3 Signs You're Not In Love; You're Just Attached, By A Psychologist

Forbes

time15 hours ago

  • General
  • Forbes

3 Signs You're Not In Love; You're Just Attached, By A Psychologist

Are you staying out of love, or habit? It's easy to confuse emotional safety with emotional ... More connection. Here's how you can tell the difference. You know how they take their coffee, what rubs them the wrong way, which shows they'll fall asleep to tonight. The routine, the mundane. But the more important question is: Do you still like them? Or have you just grown used to them? This is a quiet turning point many long-term couples reach, but don't take conscious note of. The point where familiarity begins to feel like connection, even as real affection fades. When attachment keeps you tethered, simply because detangling your lives feels harder than staying. Understanding the difference between love and attachment is important because it's deeply personal. Staying in a relationship solely out of attachment can slowly chip away at your vitality, leading to quiet resentment, or misplaced longing. You may still be 'together,' but feel painfully alone. On the other hand, recognizing when you're genuinely in love, when there's still admiration and active emotional engagement, can help you nurture what's real and let go of the unnecessary doubt. Differentiating between the two gives you the power to make conscious choices: to reconnect, to realign or, if needed, to release. But how do you tell the difference between love and habit? Between connection and comfort? Here are three things that sets them apart, and what it might mean if you're no longer sure. 1. Liking Is Active, Attachment Is Passive Liking your partner, in simple terms, means you're actively engaged in the relationship. You notice their quirks, you appreciate their growth. You enjoy spending time with them. You choose them, every day, with presence and curiosity. But attachment doesn't always look like that. Sometimes, we stay in relationships because they feel familiar. This reflects 'passive attachment.' Meaning, you stay because leaving would be too hard, too lonely or create too much uncertainty. Passive attachment takes over when your bond becomes more about avoiding discomfort than enjoying connection. A large-scale study of over 1,000 couples in 2021 found that insecure forms of attachment such as avoidant and anxious patterns were strongly associated with lower relationship satisfaction and higher feelings of instability. People with avoidant tendencies often pull away emotionally, while those with anxious tendencies may cling out of fear. In both cases, partners may stay together, but the connection starts running on autopilot. You are attached, but not necessarily happy. In short, if your relationship feels more like a routine you can't step out of, rather than something you're excited to nurture, it might not be reflective of love or compatibility. It might just be passive attachment. It's the emotional equivalent of being stuck in a job you no longer enjoy but don't know how to leave. According to the study, addressing attachment insecurity is crucial in restoring the health of a relationship. Because while attachment keeps people together, it's love and liking that keeps them close. 2. Love Lives On Mutual Admiration, Attachment Leans On Shared History Romantic love can persist long after the honeymoon period ends. In fact, research shows that romantic love without the obsessive intensity of early infatuation is not only possible in long-term relationships, but strongly associated with marital satisfaction, well-being and self-esteem. In such a dynamic, what keeps that love alive isn't just time together; it's the admiration you share for each other, the investment you are willing to make together and the ability to celebrate your shared growth. Attachment, by contrast, doesn't always require that kind of ongoing engagement. It often draws its strength from familiarity. A separate line of research found that people with high attachment anxiety are more likely to stay committed to unsatisfying relationships out of a fear of change. That fear, along with a fear of being alone, can become a powerful emotional glue. This makes staying feel like a safer choice than leaving, which is seemingly disruptive. Love and attachment, therefore, can take very different paths. Love requires active engagement in the present. Attachment sometimes survives on the inertia of the past. One keeps the relationship alive. The other just keeps it intact. 3. In Love, You Miss Them; In Attachment, You Miss What You Had There's a difference between missing a person and missing a pattern. When you're in love, you long for your partner's presence. Not just for comfort, but for their perspective, their quirks, the way they light up a room or challenge your thinking. When you miss them, you miss the current version of them, and you're still emotionally engaged with who they're becoming. But in attachment without emotional intimacy, longing often turns backward. What you miss isn't your partner as they are, but how things used to feel. The version of your relationship that was once vibrant. The early connection, the shared laughter, the feeling of being seen. It's not the person you miss. It's the atmosphere you once shared. This backward pull can feel like nostalgia — comforting, but also quietly painful. It often signals that your bond has stopped growing. So, while love keeps you reaching for your partner in the now, attachment without closeness keeps you reaching for what was. And the more you hold on to the memory, the more distant the present can feel. What To Do If You're Realizing You're Just Attached This isn't about jumping ship at the first sign of doubt. Relationships wax and wane. But if you find yourself staying purely for comfort or obligation, it may be time for an honest conversation, with your partner and with yourself. Here are a few ways to move forward with intention. 1. Start small. Reintroduce shared joy. Do something new together. Plan one surprise. Laugh on purpose. Some relationships don't need to end at all. All they need is to be woken up with a jolt. 2. Name the gap. If you feel the emotional distance, say it. Not to blame, but to open the door. Often, the hardest part of disconnection is that no one talks about it. Naming the quiet can be the first act of reconnection. 3. Get curious, not critical. Instead of immediately diagnosing the relationship as broken, ask: 'When did things begin to shift?' 'Was it circumstantial, or was it emotional, with resentment or unmet needs driving a wedge between the two of you?' Understanding the root helps you decide what's needed next. Loving someone is very different from loving the idea you've formed in your head. If your relationship is healthy, the desire to stay will feel organic. There is no need to force it. Choosing your partner feels natural, and if it's right, you'll want to make that choice again and again. Still staying in your relationship for the sake of your past self? Your present might be asking for more. Take the Anxious Attachment Scale to find out what might be keeping you attached.

Weird Things Couples Start Doing When Their Relationship Is In Trouble
Weird Things Couples Start Doing When Their Relationship Is In Trouble

Yahoo

time16 hours ago

  • General
  • Yahoo

Weird Things Couples Start Doing When Their Relationship Is In Trouble

It's easy to dismiss certain habits in a relationship as no big deal. A sarcastic jab here, a little white lie there—after all, nobody's perfect. However, some of the most damaging behaviors don't present themselves as dramatic red flags; they creep in subtly and erode the connection over time. You chalk it up to stress, personality quirks, or just 'how things are,' until the intimacy starts to evaporate quietly. The truth? What you overlook now might be what breaks you later. A shared calendar might seem like an organizational godsend, but when intimacy itself becomes another item on your to-do list, something pivotal is being lost. You trade spontaneity for routine, and soon, even your romantic gestures start to feel premeditated. This strict adherence to scheduling can lead to a relationship that feels more like a business arrangement than a loving partnership. The danger lies in this mechanical approach to love, where passion is penciled in rather than lived. When everything has a set time and place, you miss out on the magic of unexpected moments. Love thrives in the unpredictable spaces—in stolen kisses, in surprise adventures. A relationship should be more like jazz than a symphony, with room for improvisation and the occasional offbeat note. Balance your need for structure with the freedom to follow your heart's whims. Manipulation doesn't always announce itself with grand gestures or overt schemes. Often, it's far more insidious—a slight withholding of affection to make a point, a gentle twisting of words to elicit guilt. These tactics might get you what you want in the short term, but they erode the foundation of trust that all relationships need. Over time, the manipulated partner may start to feel manipulated rather than loved, and resentment begins to build. Healthy relationships are built on open communication and mutual respect, not on emotional strings that one partner pulls to dictate actions. When you manipulate, you devalue your partner's ability to choose freely and authentically. The irony is that the love you're trying to secure becomes tainted, a shadow of what it could be if nurtured openly. Embrace vulnerability instead; it's a far more effective and enduring way to connect. It seems like a no-brainer: If you don't fight, you don't have problems, right? Not exactly. Avoiding conflict altogether is like ignoring a slow leak in your roof. Over time, the damage compounds, and the eventual fallout is far more destructive. According to research published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, couples who engage in constructive conflict resolution are often happier and more satisfied in their relationship than those who avoid discussing issues altogether. When you dodge every disagreement, you withhold important parts of yourself and deny your partner the chance to truly know you. Conflict, when managed healthily, is a conduit for growth and deeper understanding. It's not about winning; it's about reaching a resolution that acknowledges both voices. Start small—express a minor annoyance and watch how it can shift the dynamic for the better. Everyone makes mistakes—that's a given. But when you start keeping a mental ledger of your partner's past missteps, you're setting up a climate of judgment and recrimination. This habit of scorekeeping creates a toxic tit-for-tat dynamic where forgiveness is withheld, and resentment grows. Instead of moving forward, you're both dragged back by the ghosts of past grievances. Dr. Terri Orbuch, author and relationship expert, finds that couples who focus on the positive aspects of their relationship, rather than the negatives, report higher levels of satisfaction and longevity. Letting go of past errors allows you both to focus on what truly matters: building a future together. Reframe those mistakes as lessons, not weapons, and you'll find your relationship becomes more resilient and forgiving. It feels playful, even flirty—those quick-witted jabs and ironic comments that pass for banter. But when sarcasm becomes your baseline mode of interaction, it can leave one or both partners feeling misunderstood or belittled. What's framed as 'just a joke' can chip away at trust, especially if it touches on insecurities or emotional sore spots. Over time, the line between humor and hostility blurs, and what once felt like fun starts to feel like avoidance. It's a clever mask for resentment—and it doesn't go unnoticed. Many couples use sarcasm as a way to avoid vulnerability. It creates emotional distance while preserving the illusion of closeness. According to psychologist Dr. John Gottman, who has spent over four decades studying relationships, sarcasm is one of the four communication habits he refers to as the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse," which can predict the end of a relationship with over 90% accuracy. Tenderness speaks louder than irony—and it builds the kind of intimacy sarcasm erodes. It's easy to take your partner for granted when life gets busy. You assume they know how much you appreciate them, but unspoken gratitude often goes unnoticed. Over time, this lack of acknowledgment can leave your partner feeling undervalued and neglected. The key is to make appreciation a daily habit, not an occasional afterthought. Genuine appreciation goes beyond a simple "thank you." It involves recognizing the unique qualities your partner brings into your life and expressing those sentiments regularly. Every relationship thrives on the validation that comes from feeling seen and cherished. So, speak up, be specific, and let them know exactly why they matter to you. Emotional withdrawal is a silent killer in relationships. When one or both partners start to retreat emotionally, it creates a chasm of misunderstanding and loneliness. You think you're protecting each other from conflict, but all you're doing is fostering a cold distance that's hard to bridge. Dr. Sue Johnson, a leading expert in couple therapy, emphasizes the importance of emotional responsiveness and connection as crucial to lasting love. This withdrawal often comes from a place of fear—fear of rejection, disappointment, or vulnerability. But love demands courage, and sometimes that means leaning into discomfort rather than away from it. The moments of greatest connection often arise from sharing what scares you most. Instead of pulling back, reach out; you may find your partner is more receptive than you expected. The silent treatment might seem like an easy way to "win" an argument or make a point. But in reality, it's a form of emotional punishment that leaves both parties frustrated and hurt. What seems like a power play is often a sign of emotional immaturity, a refusal to engage with the complexities of adult relationships. Over time, this behavior cultivates a toxic environment where open communication is replaced by simmering resentment. Healthy partnerships rely on open lines of dialogue, even when conversations are difficult. Silence only serves to drive a wedge between you, making reconciliation harder with each passing moment. Instead of shutting down, articulate your feelings, even if they're messy. The honesty may be uncomfortable, but it's the only path to resolution and understanding. In today's hyper-connected world, it's easy to escape into the digital realm when reality feels too overwhelming. But when your phone becomes the third wheel in your relationship, it's time to reassess. Constant distractions erode the quality time you should be spending together, leaving both partners feeling sidelined. It's not just about the quantity of time but the quality of connection. Technology can be a blessing, but it shouldn't replace real-world interactions that create intimacy and closeness. Make a conscious effort to unplug during significant moments and focus on each other. Consider creating tech-free zones or times to ensure your relationship remains a priority. Remember, no app or notification is more important than the person sitting next to you. We all have insecurities, but letting them dictate your behavior in a relationship is a recipe for disaster. When you project your fears onto your partner, you create a dynamic fraught with unnecessary tension and conflict. It's easy to misinterpret their actions as confirmations of your worst fears, rather than seeing them for what they truly are. This projection often leads to accusations and defensiveness, building walls rather than bridges. The solution lies in self-awareness and communication. Recognizing your insecurities and discussing them openly with your partner can transform them from obstacles into opportunities for growth. A supportive partner can help you work through these issues, but they need to know what's going on first. Vulnerability is not a weakness; it's a pathway to deeper understanding and connection. When your relationship's success hinges on the opinions of outsiders, you're treading on shaky ground. Seeking external validation often masks deeper insecurities or dissatisfaction that need addressing. Whether it's social media likes or friends' opinions, these external metrics can never truly capture the nuance of your unique partnership. Over time, this reliance can lead to feelings of inadequacy and doubt. Instead, focus on nurturing the internal validation that comes from within your relationship. Establish your own benchmarks for happiness and success, independent of societal expectations. Trust that the only people who truly understand your relationship are the ones living it. By prioritizing internal over external validation, you fortify the bond that genuinely matters. Having separate interests and friends is healthy, but when you start leading a parallel life, things can get complicated. When your worlds become too divergent, the distance between you grows, making it harder to find common ground. This split often happens gradually, as you pursue individual goals and passions without integrating them into your shared life. Eventually, you look at your partner and see a stranger rather than a soulmate. Balance is key—maintain your individuality without losing sight of your collective journey. Cultivate shared experiences and interests that bind you together, ensuring that your paths are intertwined. Celebrate each other's successes and challenges as a team, not as isolated individuals. That way, your relationship remains a partnership, not a pair of parallel lives. Routine can be comforting, but it can also lull you into complacency, where romance becomes a relic of the past. Over time, the steady rhythm of daily life can overshadow the spontaneity and excitement that once characterized your relationship. You forget the importance of surprise, of going out of your way to make each other feel special. While routines are necessary, they should never stamp out the spark that ignited your bond. To keep romance alive, be intentional about injecting novelty and excitement into your life together. It doesn't take grand gestures—a handwritten note, an impromptu dance in the kitchen, or a weekend getaway can reignite the magic. Remember, love is a living thing that needs nurturing, attention, and a little bit of spontaneity to thrive.

UK slides down women's health rankings for fourth year in a row
UK slides down women's health rankings for fourth year in a row

Times

timea day ago

  • Health
  • Times

UK slides down women's health rankings for fourth year in a row

The UK has dropped down a worldwide women's health league for the fourth consecutive year, as countries such as Lithuania, Kazakhstan and Saudi Arabia perform better. Experts described the change as 'alarming' and 'unacceptable', as it was also revealed women in the UK were more likely to experience poor emotional health and chronic pain than the EU average. There has been a year-on-year decline in how women in the UK rate their pregnancy care, and they were less likely to be screened for conditions such as diabetes, high blood pressure and cancer than in comparable countries, the global study found. The UK now ranks at just 41 out of 142 countries in the Hologic Global Women's Health Index, down from 37 last year and 30 in 2023. The annual league table is based on surveys of more than 78,000 women globally. The UK is also below the US, where women's healthcare has been hit by restrictions on access to abortion in many states. The report found women living in the UK were now more likely to experience negative feelings such as sadness, stress and anger than they were in 2020 during the pandemic, with 39 per cent saying they felt 'worry'. The number of women in the UK who thought their pregnancy care was 'high quality' has also dropped every year since the survey began, falling from 79 per cent four years ago to 72 per cent in this year's report. • Hilary Rose: Gynaecology is seen as a lifestyle medicine — women are being betrayed And a record 29 per cent of UK women said they experienced daily physical pain, up from 24 per cent four years ago. More than 25 per cent said they were limited in daily activities by ongoing health issues. Janet Lindsay, the chief executive of the charity Wellbeing of Women, said: 'These figures are unacceptable for one of the world's wealthier nations and reflect long-standing underinvestment in women's health. 'Women's health should not be treated as an afterthought. It requires sustained political leadership, better access to care, increased research funding, and a shift in culture that truly values and listens to women.' Lindsay called for women's health to be put at 'the heart of our national agenda' in the government's forthcoming ten-year plan for the NHS. • NHS drops dementia and women's health targets to end 'overspending' Researchers blamed the rankings slide on the UK's failure to act to improve women's healthcare since the pandemic, despite the creation of a women's health strategy. 'While the women's health strategy, now nearly three years in, has delivered some progress, it is yet to deliver significant impact,' the report's authors said. 'The latest data exposes a widening gap between policy ambition and the everyday experiences of women.' Professor Ranee Thakar, president of the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, added: 'Too often, systemic, operational, structural and cultural issues mean women do not get the care they deserve. The government's ten-year health plan offers a vital opportunity to change this.' For the index, each country was assigned a score based on its performance in five areas of women's health and wellbeing: preventive care (such as screening for cancer and high blood pressure); basic needs (including ease of access to food and housing); health and safety (including how safe women feel walking at night and the quality of pregnancy care); individual health (including how pain affects women's daily lives); and emotional health. The UK scored 59 out of 100, putting it below the EU average of 60 and on a par with Iceland, Bulgaria and France. Although the UK ranked in the top third of countries worldwide, it was in the bottom third in Europe, placed at just 23 out of 31 European countries. Other countries have made progress and moved ahead. Slovenia, for example, was ranked at 27 out of 31 European countries last year, but has now edged in front of the UK into 19th place. 'This is a four-year decline that no one can ignore,' said Tim Simpson, a senior director at Hologic. 'Women's health must remain a national priority, yet this data shows we are losing ground.' The top-ranked countries globally were Taiwan (68), Kuwait (67), Austria (66), Switzerland (65) and Finland (65). • Women left in pain by healthcare no better than Kosovo, poll finds Other countries which outperformed the UK included Bahrain, which was eighth overall with a score of 64, Kazakhstan (13th with a score of 63), Saudi Arabia (14th with a score of 63), Slovenia (31st with a score of 60) and Kosovo (35th with a score of 60). New Zealand was ranked at 37th and the USA at 38th, both with a score of 60, while Australia dropped to 43rd place, with a score of 59. The worst countries for women's health were Afghanistan, with a score of 30, followed by the Democratic Republic of the Congo (34), Chad (35), Sierra Leone (36) and Liberia (37). Globally, the average score was 53. This year's index was compiled based on data obtained from interviews carried out in 2023 with around 500 women in each country by the global analytics firm Gallup and Hologic, a medical technology company specialising in women's health. A Department of Health and Social Care spokesman said that the previous government was in power at the time the surveys for the report were carried out. 'Women have been let down by a health service which was not focused on their needs, which is why we are on a mission to get the NHS working for women,' the spokesman added. 'Equality will be at the heart of our ten-year health plan to fix the NHS. 'We're making progress, including adding 4.2 million extra appointments, tackling gynaecology waiting lists using the private sector, trialling AI for breast cancer screening, and from October this year, making emergency hormonal contraception free in pharmacies. 'There's still more to do, and we are committed to turning commitments into tangible action.'

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