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Yahoo
4 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
7 Things I Decluttered After Divorce for a Fresh Start
This article may contain affiliate links that Yahoo and/or the publisher may receive a commission from if you buy a product or service through those links. Going through a divorce is undoubtedly transformative. It's not just about changing your legal connection with someone; it can mean shifting who you spend time with, where you live, and even what you own. For someone like me, who is deeply connected to my environment, it wasn't a surprise that the process of separation also led to some serious decluttering. Here's everything I got rid of in the months after my divorce, including old photos, mementos, and more. (Most) Wedding Mementos After my ex and I got married, I held onto everything related to our wedding — from the cake serving set gifted by my stepmom, to cards filled with generic well-wishes, and all those other little keepsakes that seemed to carry meaning. I wanted all of the memories readily available for us and our future kids. But now, I have pared it down to just a few items: my veil, thrifted vases we used in the floral arrangements, copies of speeches from family members, and our vows. That last one might seem like an odd choice, but it's important to me that if our daughter ever wonders, she can see how much love there was between us. Excess Kitchen Supplies As an avid home chef, my ex took care of most of our meals, which led to an impressive — though overwhelming — collection of kitchen gadgets. After our split, I was more than ready to simplify. Cooking has never been my forte, and while the gadgets were technically useful, they made me feel anxious rather than inspired. I couldn't handle the extra clutter when I was already juggling so much. Our Bed My ex and I moved in together immediately after college, meaning we shared the same bed for seven years. After our separation, I couldn't bring myself to keep it — though I tried, as furniture can be so expensive. It had become more than just a bed — it was a symbol of the emotional and physical intimacy we'd shared. I didn't fully realize just how much the presence of that bed weighed on me until it was gone. Once I got rid of it, I noticed a difference almost immediately: My sleep improved, which confirmed I wasn't being dramatic about its emotional impact after all. Photos of Us Despite our split, my ex and I share a daughter, so I didn't go as far as shredding all our photos or deleting digital files. She deserves to have access to those memories should she want them. What I did do, however, was get rid of anything framed or on display. As time passed and our daughter got older, I kept a few photos of the three of us and of her with her dad around my home. It's one small way we can continue to show her that, while our family dynamic has changed, we are still a loving and united unit. Decor We Compromised On I've always had a very specific aesthetic, so it was (admittedly) frustrating when my ex and I disagreed on home decor. When I moved out, I donated everything we had met each other halfway on. In a way, it became a physical reminder of compromises I'd made — and not just for the sake of home decor. Getting rid of these items cleared up space for pieces that I actually found beautiful and meaningful. It was surprisingly empowering to create a space that truly reflected who I am. Clothes He Liked I never bought clothes solely based on my ex's preferences, but I did gravitate toward certain items he liked for special occasions or date nights. After our divorce, those pieces lost their appeal. I wanted my closet to be filled only with things I loved, not items that were a reminder of someone else's taste. It felt freeing to shed that extra layer of connection. Anything 'Extra' The chaos of divorce led me to embrace a sort of 'if it doesn't serve me, it's gone' mindset. If something wasn't useful or didn't spark joy, it was out the door. This is probably an effective way to declutter in any circumstance, but for me, the act of purging felt incredibly necessary. Despite thinking of myself as relatively minimalist before, this process left me with less stuff than ever — and during such a difficult time, that was a huge relief. Further Reading We Used Our New 'Room Plan' Tool to Give This Living Room 3 Distinct Styles — See How, Then Try It Yourself The Design Changemakers to Know in 2025 Create Your Own 3D Room Plan with Our New Tool Sign up for Apartment Therapy's Daily email newsletter to receive our favorite posts, tours, products, and shopping guides in your inbox. Solve the daily Crossword
Irish Times
23-07-2025
- General
- Irish Times
Dating in your late-30s? Frozen eggs and more will be on the menu
'Just so you know, I've frozen my eggs .' She delicately perched herself on the chair opposite, just as the waiter handed us the menus. I took a quick scan to see if I was missing something. Were frozen eggs on the menu? At the time, I hadn't been on a date in more than eight years. I was just turning 30. Yes, dating apps and the internet existed back then, kids, but what had developed since was a whole new world of etiquette, games, language, and coded behaviours that I was about to be submerged in without a life jacket, trying not to drown. Dating in your late-30s? Frozen eggs and more will be on the menu. Let me be clear: I didn't want to be out there dating again. My five-year relationship had ended – we tried, but it was done – and I started dating out of pure panic. Who would date me? A single father, a stand-up comedian, still sharing a home with his ex? Take a number for that queue ladies. READ MORE My first date, I thought, went well. A quick drink before my gig, nice chats, cool vibes. I closed the date with what I believed was the obvious line: 'I'd like to do this again'. The scrunched-up look on her face still cuts me to the bone: 'You'll probably want to play the field first.' What did that mean? Surely if there's an attraction, we meet again, no? Later that night, the text arrived: 'I just don't want to be your first one back'. It seemed like if I tried, I was doing it wrong, and if I tried to be open and not try, I was still doing it wrong. One date took place in a park. Takeaway coffees, tight schedules – just a 30-minute hello. I left thinking: there's no way we can know anything about each other in 30 minutes. How wrong I was. In that half-hour, she had determined I wasn't ready for a long-term relationship or to have more children within two years. She was on a schedule and I didn't make the cut according to the WhatsApp essay I received the next morning. Bear in mind: we didn't even know each other's surnames. [ 'I was overheard saying my date wasn't very good-looking. Now he's blocking me' Opens in new window ] I did, however, meet some amazing people. And while it's not the official point of dating, I've made some brilliant friends. Some of the biggest laughs came from evenings with a fellow single parent. There's nothing like bonding over shared trauma after sneaking out of the home she still shared with her ex, so we can sip non-alcoholic beers, talk about parenting, Bluey, and how we don't understand why people hate their own children. And then there were the others – evenings of intimacy with some like-minded creative type, someone who got you the second they kissed you. They carried your heart, told you there was nothing wrong with you – before vanishing back to wherever they came from. 'The men don't help themselves. I've seen the profiles: Leitrim jersey; balaclava; holding a fish.' Photograph: Getty Images Of course, there are the truly embarrassing moments. Like driving home late from a gig in Galway when someone I'd never met in person messages: 'House is free, it's my birthday, I've chosen you'. So, at 2am, I'm dropped off on a road, 'could be fun, dude,' says my driver. Ten minutes later, I am pacing around an estate in the rain while her messages have stopped. How do I explain this to a Garda convinced I am not scoping out a house to rob? Taxi, home. The next morning: a flood of texts. Expletives, apologies. She'd fallen asleep. What woke her? The candles she'd lit had set the curtain on fire. She woke up in the smoke and had to put out the flames. Then: 'Are you free tonight?' Followed by her anger at my rejection: 'You can't be serious – that's it?' I get it. Women are scarred by men's behaviour. Many dating conversations were spent listening to stories of ghosting, or about the latest post on the Facebook page Are We Dating the Same Guy? where women post who they're seeing to see if there are any red flags. And the men don't help themselves. I've seen the profiles: Leitrim jersey; balaclava; holding a fish. If not, they can't seem to keep their tops on. No wonder 'the ick' exists. That said, women have their quirks too. Profiles that read like job descriptions: 'You better be able to make me laugh and be emotionally available'. Pick one. Also, loving dogs is not a personality. Neither is wellness. Or yoga. Or your gym pics. [ Online dating: 'Irish people are terrible on the apps' Opens in new window ] Don't worry, I know I'm the problem. Being a comedian doesn't exactly scream stable, grounded individual gliding calmly through life. That's why we do what we do. Does it sting when someone you liked ends up engaged to an accountant? Yes. But also, no. I can't change who I am. And who I am is complicated. 'Do you feel the need to be funny all the time?' is a common date question. The answer? No. I get paid to do that. And sorry if I'm not funny on the date. That guy you saw on stage? I created him. He comes out when I want. I also hear: 'I have to be careful what I say now or you'll use it in your act'. The ego behind that? That you'll say something so genius I'll scrap decades of work just to fit it into my set? Not to mention that I've yet to be on a date with anyone who is funnier than my seven year old. Let me be clear: nothing anyone has ever said to me has made it into my act. However, it may end up in a column.
Daily Mail
22-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
EXCLUSIVE Vanessa Feltz's fury at ex Ben Ofoedu's callous broadside about her on his wedding day: Friends tell KATIE HIND how she 'knows his game' - and reveal inner his circle's spiteful nickname
It was an outburst few expected on what should have been the happiest day of his life. Moments after singer Ben Ofoedu said 'I do' to his new wife, Vanessa Brown, at the breathtakingly beautiful medieval Rose Castle in Cumbria last week, he launched a bitter broadside at his ex – another Vanessa, with whom he was in a relationship from 2006 to 2023.
Daily Record
06-07-2025
- Sport
- Daily Record
Tony Bloom's Hearts endgame is to win the Premiership as Celtic and Rangers told when they should be 'worried'
An ally to the Brighton owners has revealed the long-game after his Tynecastle investment Adam Virgo washed his club kit at home and lost out to uni students for a parking space at training. That was the life of a Brighton captain before Tony Bloom took over. So when Bloom sat him down to outline plans for the Seagulls taking flight to the Premier League' s higher reaches, Virgo admits he found the idea totally fanciful. That 2009 chat was, however, just a taster of the Bloom-inspired rise of his beloved Brighton from languishing in League One to playing in Europe. Little wonder that ex- Celtic defender Virgo warns against dismissing Bloom's boast of disrupting Old Firm domination with Hearts. The billionaire bettor owns a 29 per cent Jambos stake, has trusted consultant James Franks on the board and his renowned Jamestown Analytics aiding recruitment. Virgo reckons that all adds up to Hearts mounting a serious title challenge in years to come – even if they might not dare believe it. He said: 'The vision Tony had for Brighton was to be challenging at the top end of the Premier League. 'And when he talked to us, I kind of had the feeling: 'You must be mad.' 'We played at Withdean, the athletics stadium. But he referenced plans for what's now the Amex. 'He wanted Brighton to have the top training ground in the country. 'Go there now and it's state-of-the-art stuff. But back then, I thought: 'Yeah, good one!' 'Bear in mind, when we had this conversation I shared a gym and canteen with Sussex University students and couldn't find a space to park my car. I'd walk into the gym area, reception says: 'Who are you?' – and I have to explain I captain the club! 'Sometimes, we couldn't train on the pitches because of a uni game so we went to public parks. 'There was no way I could envisage things happening as quickly as Tony wanted it to. 'But he has done it in all aspects of business – betting, horse racing and now football. 'When he sets out to do something, he'll make it clear. That makes this an exciting time for Hearts.' Virgo reckons Bloom will pay strict attention to the smallest of details to make gains. He said: 'Tony called me one night and said: 'Adam, I'm taking over the club' but didn't give much detail. 'He wanted a meeting with me and (vice-captain) Nicky Forster. We sat down for coffee and he wanted to know EVERY detail of the excuses us players had for our performances. 'These might be minor things in the world of football these days. 'But every day we'd take our kit home and wash it. We never had a pre-match meal ... it went on and on. Nicky and I rhymed them off. 'Tony fixed everything. A catering company came in, we had breakfast and we'd go to the gym where food was prepared for us before travelling to a home game. 'Small details made a huge difference from a players' perspective.' Virgo grew to know poker player Bloom well, personally and professionally, before and after leaving the club. That means he has seen the 55-year-old operate with genuine, charming style and at his ruthless, business best. Virgo said: 'Tony's end goal is to win the Scottish Premiership. 'Celtic and Rangers have won every league since 1985 so it's difficult for him to say that. But look at Brighton where he's looking to cement them as a top-six club. 'Once they got to the Premier League, the first couple of years was about just staying there. He then moved Chris Hughton on straight away – a massive decision on a very well-respected manager. 'Then he brings in Graham Potter who he found after a year at Swansea and got the ball rolling further up the league. 'Then he goes to Sassuolo for Roberto De Zerbi who, unless you're a European connoisseur, you wouldn't know much about. For a season-and-a-half they're arguably the best team in the league to watch. 'He then takes the biggest punt of all. Fans may think: 'Bloody hell, what's going on here? We've employed a 32-year-old!' 'Under the youngest manager in Premier League history in Fabian Hurzeler, they finish eighth! Tony's never afraid to stick his neck out and go down a different path. 'I know Tony the businessman and Tony the father, husband and family man. He's kind-hearted and, when you meet him, he's polite. But there's another side where he's had to make big decisions to change the club and get the right people in like Paul Barber.' Virgo expects the Gorgie faithful to warm to Bloom's input and upfront style. 'Tony will have put so much work in on Hearts before he'd have done anything,' the 42-year-old said. 'He's a businessman but a man of the people. He'll go and sit in the crowd at an away end. 'There's transparency. He'll make time to be at meetings with the supporters every few months. He'll talk to them, let them know where he stands on things. 'Some chairmen don't say enough, others too much. Tony has that balance. I don't think Rangers and Celtic can be worried right now. 'This is going to be a process of certainly a few years. But I'd be amazed if you didn't quickly see improvements and results, by way of style of football or players sold for decent money. And that's just the start.'
New York Times
02-07-2025
- General
- New York Times
A Friend Asked to Bring My Ex to My Party. Was It OK to Disinvite Her?
Last year, my best friend from college (early 30s) told me that she had maintained a friendship with my college ex in the 10 years since our breakup. I was taken aback by this, since she didn't know him before my relationship with him. Recently, she asked if she could bring him as a guest to a party of college friends that I'm hosting. I was shocked, considering the pain our breakup caused me — though I am now happily married to a wonderful man. What's more, my friend and my ex both have significant others, though she denies any romantic involvement with him. I disinvited her from my party after letting her know that continuing our friendship is forcing me to relive a painful chapter in my life. Was this the right move? FRIEND Happily married or not, it seems to me that you have not adequately processed your decade-old breakup with your college ex. And there is no shame in that: Most of us are carrying around unresolved issues from our pasts. But when ancient history has the power to damage current relationships, we should look for help. I can't imagine disinviting a good friend from a party simply because she asked to bring a guest I disliked. Why didn't you just say no? Your friend did nothing wrong in remaining close with your ex. I have many friends to whom I was introduced by mutual acquaintances, and the fate of these friendships has never depended on my relationship with the people who introduced us. I'm sorry that you had a rough breakup. (Many of us have!) But I wonder if your friend didn't tell you about her friendship with your ex because she anticipated an outsize response from you — which you certainly delivered. I would call your friend, apologize and ask her to consider coming to your party. You may hold firm, of course, on excluding your ex. But I would stop speculating about his love life. It's none of your business. And I encourage you to explore — with a therapist — the ways in which this old relationship may be negatively affecting your current ones. Funny, I Didn't See You in Jamaica … We employ a wonderful housekeeper who works for several tenants in our building. This morning, my husband ran into her in the lobby, and he noticed that she was wearing a distinctive T-shirt: one that I bought at a music festival in Jamaica. When he told me about it, I scoured my drawers hoping for a coincidence, but my T-shirt was missing. I don't want to accuse her of wrongdoing, and if she were going to take something, there are more valuable items than a T-shirt. What should I do? Want all of The Times? Subscribe.
